神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S06E01

Part 1 April 4, 2020, 8:17 p.m.

我刚刚收到邮件
I've just received the email about
通知我竞选警局局长的结果
whether I've gotten the job as commissioner.
根据我的表情
Well, from the look on my face,
我想你们肯定已经猜到了
I'm sure you can guess what it says.
不我们当然不知道
No. We have no idea at all.
直接告诉我们吧混♥蛋♥
Just tell us, you monster.
真的吗
Really?
没人注意到我唇联合处微小的张力吗
No one noticed the slight tension in my labial commissure?
我说我的嘴我在笑啊
My lips. I'm smiling.
等下你在笑吗
Wait, you're smiling?
等下我们又可以说"唇(阴♥唇♥)"了吗
Wait, we're allowed to say "Labia" again?
- 等等你拿下了吗 - 是的
- Wait, you got it? - I got it.
- 阴♥唇♥ - 警局局长Raymond Holt
- Labia. - Commissioner Raymond Holt.
- 阴♥唇♥ - 快给我闭嘴 Hitchcock
- Labia. - You gotta stop right now, Hitchcock.
我们得庆祝一下
We need to celebrate.
我们放点音乐吧
Ooh, we need music.
我之前为婚礼买♥♥了张Jock Jams系列专辑
Ooh, I brought a "Jock Jams" CD for the wedding.
Jock Jams系列专辑主要收录二十世纪八♥九♥十年代的舞曲和豪斯乐体育频道ESPN出品
这件事我怎么不知道
Oh, we didn't talk about that.
本来是个惊喜
It was gonna be a surprise.
我们第一支舞会是"Tootsee Roll"
Our first dance was gonna be the "Tootsee Roll".
不我们没机会跳了
Oh, no, and we didn't get to do it.
就是啊好了大家别走开
I know. All right, nobody move.
我去把CD拿过来
I'm gonna go get the CD.
我要感谢你们每个人
I want to thank you all.
多么激动人心的一刻
What an incredible moment.
三十年的奋斗和牺牲
30 years of struggle and sacrifice.
但这是值得的
But it was worth it,
因为我终于能够读出我期盼已久的十个字
because I finally get to read the ten words I've longed to hear:
"Raymond Holt 你不是"
"Raymond Holt, you are not the..."
哎呀
Oops.
我看错了
I misread the email.
少看了个"不"字
Didn't see that "not".
这么说
So...
我不是新任局长
I will not be the new commissioner.
背景音乐 - 2 Unlimited
*准备好了吗*
*Y'all ready for this?*
Jock Jam
Jock Jam.
为什么就我一个人在跳舞
Why is no one else dancing?
我错过什么了吗
Did I miss something?
好像是的
Feels like I missed something.
我还是继续吧直到有人叫我
I'll just keep going until someone tells me to...
- 停下 Jake - 行吧
- Stop, Jake. - All right.
神烦警探
第六季第一集
Holt警监今天也请假了
So Captain Holt is taking another personal day.
他不在的时候这里由我负责
In his absence, I will be running things around here.
不是是由我负责
That's not true. I'm in charge.
不这更像是维斯特洛式的自♥由♥竞争
Mm, no, it's gonna be more of a Westeros free-for-all, okay?
维斯特洛(Westeros) 美剧<冰与火之歌♥>里虚构的大♥陆♥之一为故事的主要发生地
谁愿意单膝下跪示忠于我
Who will bend a knee?
- 我愿意 - 没人要下什么跪
- I will. - Nobody's bending anything.
我们开始吧
Let's get started.
警长 Holt警监还好吗
Sarge, is Captain Holt all right?
他从没请过假
He never miss work.
他说他的进度条在49% 每天增长8.6%
He said he was at a 49 and improving at 8.6% a day.
所以我猜他很快就会回来
So I guess he'll be in soon.
现在我们有两项
Now, we have two...
猜猜谁刚领了钱大家伙
Guess who just got paid, y'all.
是的我们现在有一把一把又一把的钱
That's right. We got stacks on stacks on stacks.
这么多钱是哪儿来的
Whoa. Where's all that cash from?
我聪明的老婆发现一个天大的漏洞
Well, my brilliant wife found a crazy loophole
叫做"婚礼保证金"
called "wedding insurance".
这没什么大不了的
It's very common.
就像租♥房♥♥保证金一样
It's like renter's insurance.
天啊我们也有那笔钱吗
Oh, my God. Do we have that too?
当然
Yes.
你简直是个魔法师
You are a wizard.
关键是我们现在有充足的资金
The point is, we are getting refunded in full,
所以我们要度一个超级豪华五星级的
so we are going on a super-deluxe, five-star,
百万富翁式的蜜月
mega-baller honeymoon.
就是说你们不去伯克郡了吗
So you're not just going to the Berkshires anymore?
去它的吧那里太无趣了
Screw that crap hole. It's a dump,
去那儿的人都是垃圾
and anyone who goes there is garbage.
我还打算周末带Sharon去浪漫一下呢
I was gonna take Sharon there for a romantic weekend.
那恭喜你了穷光蛋
Oh, well, congratulations, ya poor.
不好意思钱真的能改变一个人
I am so sorry. Money really changes you.
度假的地方叫美丽客栈
The resort is called Posadita Bonita.
在墨西哥
And it's in Mexico.
有美食和漂亮的沙滩
Great food, great beaches,
一句"天啦噜" 就会让我完美地融入
and when I say "Ay caramba" there, I'll fit right in.
"Ay caramba"为西语表惊讶也是<辛普森一家>里bart的口头禅
我看未必
I don't think so.
Gina不是常常把那儿挂在嘴边
Isn't that the place that Gina is always talking about,
因为只要成功拉到客她就会有奖励分
'cause she gets referral rewards points?
对啊正是
Why, yes, it is.
结账的时候别忘了报优♥惠♥码GINA30
Don't forget to use code GINA30 at checkout.
那个地方安静又漂亮
It's super intimate and super fancy.
我们到了那里只有一条规则
And when we're there, there's only one rule.
ABC
A.B.C.
只和椰子打交道
Always be coconuting.
任何时候不是在喝椰汁就是在吃椰肉
At all times, we will either be drinking from, eating,
不然就是身上戴着椰子
or wearing a coconut.
美丽客栈墨西哥
两天后
这地方太棒了
Ah, this place is amazing.
我从没在美国领土之外做过爱
I've never had sex outside the United States.
你在想什么
What are you thinking about?
很奇怪和你想的一样
Weirdly, the same thing.
欢迎来到天堂需要玛格丽塔吗
Welcome to paradise. Margarita?
我想来一杯
Yes, I would love one.
但你能把它放在椰子里吗
But is there any way you could put it in a coconut?
乐意效劳先生
It will be my pleasure, sir.
谢谢
Oh, thank you.
我提了个诡异的要求他居然照做了
I requested a ridiculous thing, and he's doing it.
快想点更蠢的要求
Quick, think of more stupid stuff we can ask for.
葡萄抱歉我有点慌我什么都想不到
Grapes. Sorry, I panicked. And I couldn't think of anything.
不不葡萄挺好的
No, no, no, grapes is perfect.
你好
Excuse me, sir,
可以给我妻子拿一些葡萄吗
is there any way you could get my wife some grapes?
好的先生马上就来
Yes, sir, right away.
他跑起来了
He's running.
他跑去拿葡萄了
He's running for the grapes.
这是您的饮料
Here are your drinks
还有一个来自一位Boyle先生的恋人工具箱
and a lovers' toolbox from a Mr. Boyle.
非常感谢我们永远都不会打开这箱子的
Ah, thank you so much. We will never open this.
天啊 Jake 快看
Oh, my God, Jake, look.
太棒了是葡萄
Yes, the grapes.
你还拿了干酪我都没想要干酪
Oh, and you brought cheese. I don't even want cheese.
不是 Jake 看沙发那儿
No, Jake, in the lounge.
Holt警监
Captain Holt?
Peralta
Peralta?
天啦噜
Ay caramba.
Gina 搞什么啊
Gina, what the hell?
换了个新手♥机♥ 你哪位
New phone, who dis?
当面不能也这样啊
You can't do that in person.
我是Charles
It's Charles.
Boyle 你的同事
Boyle. Your coworker.
嗨 Charles
Oh, hey, Charles.
我刚得知你妈甩了我爸
I just found out that your mom left my dad.
他们要离婚了
They're getting divorced.
他们运气够好的了
Eh, they had a good run.
在美国婚姻维持的平均时间
The average American marriage
两天都不到
lasts fewer than two days.