神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S02E20

Part 1 Aug. 16, 2021, 3:05 p.m.

海泡沫旅馆
快看
Heads up.
这就是我们找的嫌犯
There's our perp,
他正摆着一张嫌犯脸在嫌犯大街上像嫌犯一样溜达
looking all perpy, just perping his way down Perp Street.
快拍照取证啊 - 再等一小会儿
Take a picture! - Give me one second.
现在的光线衬托不出他的皮肤
This light is really unflattering for his complexion.
不用照得这么完美啊
It doesn't have to be perfect.
Tom Olson是个坏蛋
Tom Olson is a bad dude.
他持枪打劫了四家电器商店
He's held up four electronic stores at gunpoint.
你当初干嘛要读安妮·莱博维茨的书啊
Man, I wish you hadn't read that Annie Leibovitz book.
安妮·莱博维茨美国著名女摄影师
别再管它叫书了好吗那可是视觉盛宴
Quit calling it a book. It was a visual journey.
你这种人估计还指望让我用彩照代替黑白照呢
You probably think I should shoot this in color instead of black and white.
当然是照彩色的啊
Yes! Shoot color!
你怎么还要照黑白的啊
Why have you been shooting black and white?
等等他现在想去哪儿
Wait. Where's he going now?
快跟上
Come on.
可恶纽约警局你给我站住
Damn it. NYPD! Freeze!
他被困住了
He's trapped!
"车顶追缉"
Top-of-car foot chase!
我的生日愿望终于实现啦
My birthday wish finally came true!
快追啊 Jake 他马上就是你的囊中物了
Keep it up, Jake! He's yours!
他是你的了马上就是你的了
He's yours! He's yours!
我知道
I know!
我感觉自己是全纽约最牛逼的人
I feel like the coolest person in New York City!
哟呵嫖♥客♥步走得不错嘛
Ooh, nice pimp walk, pimp.
pimp walk 机械舞步的一种
多谢老鸨夸奖
Well, thank you, pimpin' playa.
天哪这可不是嫖♥客♥步
Whoa. That is not a pimp walk.
瘸子步还差不多
That's a limp walk.
你今天真的要上班吗
You sure you should be here today, Jake?
你可失足摔得不轻
I mean, you wiped out hard.
那可不是什么失足摔伤
It wasn't so much a wipeout
我那是酷炫狂拽下落式警长
as it was a controlled power fall, Sarge.
其实嘛
Well...
这是他表示反对的嚎叫
That's his disagreement squeak.
你就是失足摔伤了医生都跟你说什么了
You wiped out. What'd the doctor say?
欢迎光临我们已经十一年不见了
Welcome; We haven't seen you in 11 years.
我已经十一年没见过医生了
Haven't been to the doctor in 11 years.
颤抖吧人类
How trill is that!
你的语气狂妄不羁
Your tone's braggy,
但你说出来的全是人间惨剧
but your words are real sad.
他允许你继续出警了吗
Did he clear you for active duty?
首先声明那位医生是个"她"
First of all, the doctor was a woman.
这世上是有女医生的警长
There's a such thing as women doctors, Sarge.
骗你而已我只是烘托一下氛围那是个男医生
I lied for effect. It was a man.
而且他说了我一点儿事都没有
And he said that I was perfectly fine,
不过就是三根肋骨骨裂断了一个脚趾
except for three cracked ribs and a broken toe,
然后这个脚趾边上还有两个断了的脚趾
which were right next to two other broken toes.
他到底有没有允许你继续出警
Did he clear you or not?
没有啦好吧
He did not. All right.
我们去工作吧各位还有个嫌犯没抓到呢
Let's get to work, guys. We got a perp to catch.
你可别想了绝对没戏
Oh, forget that. Uh-uh. No.
你听好了我们已经全网广播通缉你要抓的人了
Look. There's a APB out for your guy.
有好多警♥察♥都在找他
Lots of cops are looking for him.
你不用来了
You don't need to be here.
警长我比任何人都熟悉这个案子
Sarge, I know this case better than anyone,
我就差这么一丁点儿就能把它破了
and I am this close to solving it.
你手指头离得可老远了
Your fingers are really far apart.
是啊我大拇指也轻微骨裂了
Yeah, I also have a hairline fracture in my thumb.
这是人类最不需要的一根手指头是不是啊
Mankind's least important finger... am I right?
警长拜托了
Sarge, please.
拜托拜托拜托拜托
Please. Please, please, please.
让我继续办这个案子吧好不好
Just let me stay on the case, all right?
我保证不出去抓人或者干别的不要命的事儿
I promise I won't go into the field or do anything dangerous.
好吧
Fine.
那你就在这儿好好办案
You can work the case from right here,
但是你不能离开桌子半步(被捆在桌子上)
but you are tied to your desk.
喔喔捆在桌子上是吧
Ooh. Tied to my desk.
格雷先生马上就来见您哟警长
Mr. Grey will see you now, Sarge.
<五十度灰>施虐狂男主片中有捆绑情节
您找我有事吗长官
You wanted to see me, sir?
出了个很糟糕的状况
We have a situation, and it's bad.
你看看电子邮箱
Check your e-mail.
不好 - 没错
No. - Yes.
Kevin坚持让你和Marcus来我们家吃晚饭
Kevin insists on you and Marcus joining us for dinner at our house.
但我们已经约好决不干涉对方的私生活
But we agreed to keep our personal and professional lives separate.
我和你侄子搞对象已经够诡异了
It is weird enough I am dating your nephew
现在难道还要把你的丈夫和狗牵扯进来吗
without dragging your husband and dog into it.
你以为我想这样吗
You think I want this?
因为我也不想这样
Because I do not want this.
可惜我们不能一再躲避Marcus和Kevin了
Sadly, Marcus and Kevin can be held off no longer.
好吧
Okay.
那我们怎么办
So what's our play here?
我的胃有点儿难受
My stomach's a little off.
不然就说我病了吧
Say I'm sick.
我已经用了八次你病了的借口了
Well, I've used the sick excuse for you eight times.
我觉得他们不会再信了
I think they're catching on.
那就说你病了吧
You could say you're sick.
根本没人信
No one would ever believe that.
不行我们在劫难逃
No. This is happening.
但别担心
But don't worry.
我有办法防止咱俩纠缠不清
I have a plan to keep things from getting too personal.
我会请一些"亲密关系缓冲人"
I'm inviting some intimacy buffers.
在你家开晚餐派对吗
Dinner party at your house?
妈妈呀
Oh, mama!
我会去的
I will be there.
我的要求只有一个把你们客厅的家具全都清出去
All I ask is that you clear the furniture out of your living room
这样我就可以给Kev来一段我的舞蹈剧了
so I can show Kev some of my new dance opera.
干嘛就只来一段呀
Why just some of it?
全跳了得了
Do the whole thing.
好我会高兴死的
Yes; Nothing would make me happier.
周四八点见了
See you Thursday at 8:00.
收到啦警了个监
Copy that, Cap-I-tan!
拜拜哦小哥
Later, skater.
太好了
Yes.
好奇妙的感觉啊
This is wonderful.
晚餐四天以后才开始
The dinner's not for four days,
你现在就快激动得升♥天♥了
and you're already freaking out.
抱歉
Excuse me.
你是没听到我说"拜拜哦小哥"吗
Did you not just hear me say, "Later, skater"?
好吧好吧
All right. Fine.
以前也许有那么一小小点可能
There's a slight chance that, in the past,
我拍警监的马屁拍到了马腿上
I may have tried a little too hard around the captain.
所以这次我一定会超级淡定
So this time, I'm gonna be super chill.
这决心不错
Good plan.
诶呀
Whoa!
上面说你被踢出派对了
It just says you got uninvited.
啥
What?
唉小宝贝儿哟
Oh, honey.
哦我懂了
Oh. I get it.
你在逗我
You're joking.
你瞧瞧我啥事儿没有
See? I'm cool.
我不怕逗
I get jokes.
Boyle 你看见Jake了么
Boyle, have you seen Jake?
没
No.
我刚才出去给他买♥♥治愈肉汤了
I was out getting him some healing broth.
我在鸡肉和牛肉间举棋难定
I was torn between chicken or beef,
但紧接着我灵光一现
but then it hit me.
选羊肉呀
Goat!
刚才咣当的一声是怎么回事
What happened? I heard a bang!
没啦没咣当一声啥事儿都没有
No. No bang. Everything's totally normal.