神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S02E05

Part 1 Aug. 16, 2021, 3:03 p.m.

简直绝了
Extreme!
你们估计是对这玩意很好奇
Oh, you guys are probably curious about this.
没啥大不了的
It's no biggie.
我的车还在店里
My car's in the shop,
所以我是坐Rosa的摩托车来的
so I rode in on Rosa's motorcycle.
你们应该可以叫我汽车发烧友了
I guess you could say I'm a gear head now.
他死命地抱着我
He held on to me so tight,
感觉像是做了两公里的海姆利克急救法
it was like a two-mile Heimlich.
因为四周空空如也坐起来心慌啊
Those things have no walls on them.
警监你为啥坐在我的位子上
Captain, why are you sitting at my desk?
内务局的Miller警督来了
Lieutenant Miller from internal affairs is here.
他接管了我的办公室
He's taken over my office.
很明显有人向犯罪组织
Apparently, someone has been leaking classified information
泄露了机密情报
to a criminal syndicate.
整个小队都面临着审查
The entire squad is under investigation.
疯了吧
That's crazy.
这里没人会是奸细
No one here's a mole.
你怎么这么确定
How can you be so sure?
因为我太了解他们了
Because I know these guys.
我了解他们的一切
I know everything about them.
如果你觉得别人都一成不变
Well, you're a poor police officer
那你就不是个好警官
if you don't think people can surprise you.
他们的确一成不变来看好了
Not these people. Here, watch this.
我知道每个人今晚要做的事
I know what everyone's gonna do tonight.
今天是周四所以Gina要早退
It's thursday, so Gina's gonna leave early
去和她的新舞伴"劲舞腹黑女"排练
to rehearse with her new dance group, Dancy Reagan.
她们是舞蹈界的第♥一♥夫♥人♥
They're the first ladies of movement.
Amy会清点她的每周预算
Amy's gonna be going over her weekly budget.
Charles会参加"单人比萨"厨艺班
And Charles will be attending a "Pizza for one" Cooking class.
今晚的食谱是"独乐乐"辣香肠
Tonight's menu: Pepper-alone-I.
还有如果我冲过去跳向Terry
And if I run and leap at Terry,
他一定会用双臂接住我
he will most certainly catch me in his arms.
来喽 - 不行我正端着咖啡呢
Coming in! - No! I'm holding coffee!
我马上要坐下来解决内务了
I'm about to sit down with internal affairs.
我发现我可以用自己的"内务"
I figure out that I will charm them with a couple of quips
来迷惑住他们
about my own "Internal affairs."
指的是我的肚肚
Talking about my tum-tum.
别在这开玩笑了
Please don't joke around in there.
我知道你常和我玩闹说笑
I know you're used to riffing with me,
但是内务探员很难有我这样的幽默感
but internal affairs detectives rarely have my sense of humor.
哇你真的是很担心这次调查呢
Wow, you are really worried about this investigation.
好吧好啦
Okay, fine.
我保证在录口供时表现得凛若冰霜
I promise I will be stone-cold serious in my interview.
我甚至会换上严肃脸
I'll even use my serious face.
你猜我是怎么做出这张脸的
If you're wondering how I'm pulling this off,
我正在回忆自己八岁的时候
I'm thinking about the time when I was eight
被Don Mattingly叫做"小屎蛋"的事
and Don Mattingly called me a little turd.
Don Mattingly 曾是美国职棒联盟的球员现为洛杉矶道奇队经理
他说得对吗 - 对的
Was he right? - Yes.
你好
Hey there.
我是Jake Peralta
Jake Peralta.
抱歉握手是细菌传染的最主要方式
I'm sorry, handshakes are the greatest avenues of germ transmission.
我一般都是点个头完事
I generally prefer simple nods.
好吧
Okay.
你可不可以把消毒洗手液递给我
Would you, uh, pass me that hand sanitizer, please?
好的
Yeah.
别别别
No, no, no!
用你的手肘
Use your elbows.
把你的鼻孔闭上
Keep your nostrils closed.
别把气喷上去
Don't breathe on it.
算了我还是用湿巾吧
Forget it, I'll just use a wipe.
真机智逃过一劫
Smart, get off.
该死的细菌
Damn germs.
那么是谁泄露了什么信息
So what information has been leaked and by who?
你不需要知道
You don't need to know that.
你要知道的只是
All you need to know
你们小队里的某人已经犯下了重罪
is that a felony has been committed by someone on your squad,
而我要把那个人查出来
and I'm gonna find out who did it.
你是否曾经将调查中的案件的
Now... have you ever taken confidential information
重要信息带出过警局
about an ongoing investigation out of this precinct?
没有过
No.
我可不会干那种傻缺事
I would never do something that stupid.
我♥干♥了件巨傻缺的事帮帮我
I did something really stupid. I need your help.
你也知道我是那种
You know how I'm kind of a sexy bad boy
骑着摩托来上班
who rides motorcycles into work
并以正义之名打破规矩的不羁型男吧
and is always breaking the rules in the name of justice?
我有种不好的预感
I don't like where this is going.
好吧我偶尔也会往家里带些案件卷宗
Well, I also maybe sometimes bring home case files
用来在下班后钻研
to work on them after hours,
而且我并不是很擅长把它们还回去
and I might not be that great about returning them.
我的天呐
Oh, God.
你是不是拜倒在我的不羁本色下了
Are you aroused because of what a bad boy I am?
不是 - 居然不是
No! - No!
你可能会因为这个被停职调查的
You could be suspended for that.
他会认为你是奸细
He could think you're the mole!
能小声点吗
Not so loud.
是啊 Amy 喝酒用碗才能避免"间隙"
Yes, Amy, I do drink from the bowl
绝对骗过他了
definitely pulled that off.
听着我需要找回那些文件
Look, I need to get those files.
你能不能载我一程
Can you please give me a ride?
好吧我这就去
Fine. I'll get my stuff,
但是到时候最好别反咬我一口
but this better not bite me in the ass.
"最好别反咬我一口"是你的性♥爱♥录像带的名字
Better not bite me in the ass is the name of your sex tape.
但是说真的非常感谢你的帮助
But seriously, thank you so much for your help.
Peralta
Peralta.
和Miller谈得怎样
How'd it go with Miller?
一切顺利他可喜欢我了
Fantastic, he loved me.
我是想再往细了跟你说
I would give you more details,
但是某人刚刚走了进来
but someone just came in
打算找她的斑点外套
to try and find her dalmatian coat.
你好啊 Raymond
Hello, Raymond.
Madeline
Madeline.
我还奇怪为什么鸟儿突然停止了歌♥唱
I wondered why all the birds had suddenly stopped singing.
你怎么来了
What brings you here?
我听说你被内务局审查了
I heard you were under investigation by internal affairs.
我可不想错过这个场景
Didn't wanna miss that.
你这么枕戈待旦地打听我的消息
So much time with your ear to the pavement.
真可惜你的头没被卡车碾炸
It's a pity a truck hasn't run over your head.
生动逼真
Very visual.
究竟哪一天你才能辞去警务
When, oh when, will you quit police work
追求你的诗歌♥梦呢
and pursue your dream of poetry?
我在找Scully探员
I'm looking for detective Scully.
你一定是从内务局来的了
You must be from I.A.B.
我是Wuntch副局长幸会
I'm deputy chief Wuntch. Nice to meet you.
如果你有空的话
If you have a minute,
请务必向我详细汇报这次的审查情况
I'd love a detailed report of this investigation.
内务局是独♥立♥于部门分级的机构
I.A.B. Exists outside of department hierarchy.
我不需要向你汇报
I don't answer to you.
Scully探员该你了
Detective Scully, you're up.
哦呃好的
Oh, uh, okay...
不这样吧
No. You know what?
咱们打电♥话♥谈吧
We'll do this over the phone.
喔 Raymond
Oh, Raymond.
瞧瞧这内务审查
An internal affairs investigation?
瞧瞧这没缉到毒的缉毒特遣队
A drug task force that hasn't found any drugs?
这片区真是完蛋了
This precinct's a disaster.
也许这才是鸟儿不再歌♥唱的原因
Maybe that's why the birds stopped singing.
出于对你职业生涯濒死的敬重
Out of respect for the death of your career.
再见了 Raymond
Good-bye, Raymond.
Diaz探员
Detective Diaz.
你的缉毒特遣队能不能稍稍地