神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S02E19

Part 2 Aug. 16, 2021, 3:05 p.m.

You lied to her?
天衣无缝
Like a pro.
我不想伤害她的感情
I couldn't hurt her feelings.
她真的很希望我们出席
She really wanted us to be there.
好吧希望你扯谎的时候没有提到我
Well, I wish you hadn't involved me in your deception.
我严格遵守诚信准则
I maintain a strict code of integrity.
别这样警监
Come on, Captain.
你难道没有为了让别人开心说过善意的谎言么
You never told a white lie to make a person feel better?
我只会在有人性命攸关的时候说谎
I only lie when someone's safety is at risk.
或者一个八岁或者更小的小孩
Or if a juvenile aged eight years or younger
问起圣诞老人的时候
asks about Santa Claus.
你怎么说的
In which case...
我使用了逻辑上无法证伪
I feed them some reassuring pap
的安全辞令去应对他们
about the logical impossibility of proving a negative.
一些柔情的傻话
It's sentimental drivel,
但是他们买♥♥账了
but they eat it up.
所以说
So...
你的意思是你会拆我的台
does this mean you're gonna blow up my spot
告诉Gina事实吗
and tell Gina the truth?
要是她问起来那么是的
If she asks me, then yes,
我想我会毫不犹豫地拆了你的台
I suppose I will have to blow your spot right up.
好了这是我能想到的
Okay, this is everyone I could think of
想给我捣乱的人
who would want to mess with my life.
罪犯我作证指控的人
Perps, people I've testified against,
我学江南Style舞步的时候
the old guy who lived underneath me
住在我楼下的老头
when I was learning the Gangnam Style dance.
哇你可是惹了不少人
Wow, you've pissed off a lot of people.
好吧你要是活的太风光就会这样 Rosa
Well, that's what happens when you live out loud, Rosa.
我们需要查一下停电和停热水的原因
We need to look into the power outage and hot water.
你能证明你交过费了吗
Do you have proof you pay your bills?
开什么玩笑
Are you serious?
姑娘们这不是我的错
Guys, this is not my fault.
有个小子在破坏
My reputation is being sabotaged
我的名声
by some guy.
或者是姑娘
Or girl, you know.
姑娘也可能是怪兽
Monsters can be women too.
真是进步的思想啊 Jake
Super progressive attitude, Jake.
听着我们站在你这边
Look, we are on your side.
不过这事不由你来负责
It's just, you're not the most responsible person.
这个要由我们来做
We have to do our job.
好吧你们可以看我的银行记录
All right, fine. You can see my bank records.
不过我一直有交电费
But I always pay my power bill.
经常晚交
Often late.
有次自己用加拿大硬币自己去交的
One time in person with Canadian pennies.
噢老天谈你的经济状况
Oh, my God, talking about your finances
让我直冒冷汗
makes me sweat behind the knees.
不错
Nice.
嘿说到异味
Hey, speaking of funky smells,
我们应该开始从
should we start this investigation
尿检实验室开始调查吗
at the urinalysis lab?
嗯去参观一下老尿液工厂
Hmm? Take a trip to the old pee factory?
Jake 你被停职了
Jake, you're suspended.
回家去喝杯啤酒砸点东西
Just go home, have a beer, and smash something.
我一般都这样
That's what I'd do.
或者好好欣赏一下这个美妙的城市
Or take advantage of this amazing city.
去观光
Go sightseeing.
我超级想去看现代美术馆的一个展览
MoMA has an exhibit I'm dying to see.
是关于办公室座椅设计的
It's all about office chair design.
噢
Oh!
听着我知道按规矩我不能插手
Look, I know technically I'm not supposed to help out,
但是规则就是用来被打破的
but rules are made to be broken.
规则是用来被遵守的
They were made to be followed.
没有啥是用来被打破的
Nothing is made to be broken.
呃糖果彩罐
Uh, pinatas.
荧光棒 - 跆拳道板
Glow sticks. - Karate boards.
用小锅煮的意大利面
Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
规矩
Rules.
听着有人在给我捣鬼
Look, someone's messing with my life here.
我以为你们会帮助我
I thought you guys had my back.
我们帮你
We do.
不过说真的你不能和我们一起来
But seriously, you can't come with us.
好吧
Okay.
好我懂了
Fine. I get it.
规矩就是规矩
Protocol's protocol.
我去那个现代美术馆的
I'm gonna go check out that office chair design exhibit
办公室座椅展览看看
at the MoMA.
Rosa Amy
Rosa? Amy?
你们来这里干什么
What are you guys doing here?
来做我们没有被停的工作
Our non-suspended jobs.
你不应该参与调查
You're not supposed to be investigating.
我没有我在观光呢
I'm not, I'm sightseeing,
是Amy提议的呢
just as Amy suggested.
在布鲁克林尿血分♥析♥实验室吗
At Brooklyn Urine and Blood?
对啊网上说
Oh, yeah, the internet says
这是纽约最顶级的
this is the number-one urinalysis lab
尿检实验室
in all of New York.
来张好玩的旅行自♥拍♥
Fun tourist selfie!
叮不够完美
Boink! Not your best.
不过你们去问问题的时候
Anyways, I'm gonna take a "Walking tour" In here
我要步行游览一下这里
while you guys ask a couple of questions,
还有我在这里等了20分钟了
and also, I've been waiting for 20 minutes.
你们去哪了
Where have you been?
我们得去找你说可能会谋害你的
We had to find the addresses of all 78 people
78个人的地址
you said might want to hurt you.
这样哦
Uh-huh.
那你们中途还有耽搁吗
And was there another stop along the way?
我们去买♥♥了咖啡
We got coffee.
这些是卡布奇诺咖啡
Those are cappuccinos.
你知道给里面的牛奶打泡要花多长时间吗
You know how long it takes to foam that milk?
这些时间本应花在破我的案子上的
Time you could have spent on my case,
但大概对于你们来说奶泡比朋友重要吧
but I guess it's just froth over friends with you two.
无论如何咱们开始吧
Anyways, let's do this.
Jake
Jake...
我不敢相信我下面要说的话
I can't believe I'm about to say this.
其实我真心希望你能跟我们一起来观察尿液的
I really wish you could come look at urine with us,
但你不行
but you can't.
你被停职了回家吧
You're suspended. Go home.
好吧
All right, fine.
如果你们不帮我
If you guys won't help me,
我就自己洗脱罪名(自己撸射)
I guess I'll just get myself off.
要联♥系♥上下文啊
Context.
这句话联♥系♥上下文非常重要
Context was important on that one.
我能理解希腊酸奶
I get Greek yogurt,
因为里面有文化底蕴
'cause there's heritage there,
不过冰岛嘛
but Iceland?
不不不好了
No, no, no, no, no!
嘿 Gina
Hey, Gina!
你们俩在聊什么呢酸奶吗我也是
What are you guys talking about? Yogurt? Me too.
咱们继续讨论这个吧
Let's keep talking about that.
哎
Whoo!
我喘不上气了
Terry's out of breath.
缓缓我就是过来交一些文件
Cool. I was just dropping off some files.
太好了现在我们去你的桌子那里
Great, let's just go out to your desk
聊一聊交的怎么样了吧
and let's talk about how that went.
好的 Terry
Okay, Terry.
但首先我要问下警监
But first, I want to ask the captain
对于我表演的看法
for his impresh of my show.
有啥反馈吗还是只是爱死了
Got any feed-b, or was it just love, love, love?
其实吧
Well, actually...
我觉得非常精彩
I thought it was amazing!
你就像一只读过茱莉亚大学的天鹅