无耻家庭

Shameless S10E10

Part 4 Feb. 20, 2020, 11:31 a.m.

Yo.
这根本不是3871号♥卡车
This isn't truck 3871.
你反应是有多迟钝卡尔
How slow are you, Carl?
是脑子有病的那种迟钝吗还是...
Like, short-bus slow, or...
普通迟钝吧
I guess regular.
寻宝去吧
Let's go fishing.
查克过来拿好了
Chuck, step up. Step right up.
给你朋友
Here you go, my friend.
请享用
Enjoy.
这里还有呢
More where that came from.
弗兰克应该还活着
Don't think Frank's dead.
太平间没有他的任何记录
The morgue doesn't have any record of him.
别这么早下定论
Well, don't be so sure.
密歇根湖里的尸体得花好几周的时间
Bodies can spend weeks in Lake Michigan
才会被冲刷到岸上
before they finally wash up on shore.
说不定他成了浮尸呢
Maybe he's a floater.
怎么了
What's going on?
那张半裸照帮我吸引了好多关注
That shirtless picture's getting me tons of attention.
你说得没错
You were right.
那当然
Of course I was.
我也没说错这些人都不是想约会的
So was I. None of these are for dates.
屌♥照
Dick pic.
菊花照
Butthole pic.
想舔我菊花的
Offer to eat my ass.
屌♥照
Dick pic.
邀请我群P的
Orgy invite.
屌♥照
Dick pic.
等等没看明白这是什么
Wait. No idea what that one is.
哦不就是根屌♥
Oh, wait. No, it's a dick.
等一下
Hold on.
这个家伙
This guy...
科尔
Cole,
说他总是盼着能有理由
says he's always looking for an excuse
穿上他最靓的衣服他还喜欢听现场音乐
to put on his best outfit, and he loves live music.
挺可爱看上去很正常
He's cute. He seems normal.
行
Cool.
凯文·博尔和维罗妮卡·费歇尔
Kevin Ball and Veronica Fisher.
对都安排好了
Uh, yep. You're all set.
你们是14号♥拍卖♥♥品
You're lot 14.
你说什么
Excuse me?
拍卖♥♥会的14号♥拍卖♥♥品
Lot 14. The auction.
14号♥拍卖♥♥品
Lot 14?
你们要上台供人拍卖♥♥
That's when you'll get up onstage to be auctioned.
我们要被拍卖♥♥
We're being auctioned?
小维我们得马上离开这里
V, V, we need to get out of here right now.
我在电影里看过这情节
I've seen this in movies.
没等我们回过神来我们就会在树林里
Before you know it, we're gonna be in the woods,
然后被一群有钱人追捕
and we're gonna be chased down by rich dudes
他们专以猎杀人类为乐
that hunt humans for sport.
是这样亲爱的
Look, sweetie,
我应该不用跟你解释
I shouldn't have to explain to you
叫一个像我这样的女人准备被拍卖♥♥
the problem of telling a woman who looks like me
问题出在哪里了吧
that she's up for auction.
我们这是约会之夜募款拍卖♥♥会
This is a date-night fund-raising auction.
申请生的家长...
Applicant parents are auct--
你是说"非裔生"吗
Did you say "African"?
不是的
Uh, no.
申请生的家长会作为拍卖♥♥品
No, um, applicant parents are auctioned off.
买♥♥下你们的家长在与你们相处过后
Once the parents that buy you get to know you,
会给我们反馈看你们是否适合
they report back, let us know if you're a good fit
加入埃尔德里奇
for the Eldridge community.
电子邮件里有详细说明
The email explained everything.
你们回复就代表了愿意参加
When you RSVP'd, you agreed to participate.
是的明白了
Right. Got it.
抱歉我们没搞明白
Sorry for the confusion.
趁还有机会我们得赶紧离开这里
We need to get out of here while we still have a chance.
鸽王布拉德居然赏脸来了
No Show Brad showed.
各位这简直是圣诞奇迹啊
Guys, it's a Christmas miracle.
谢谢谢谢
Thank you. Thank you.
-谢谢各位 -好了好了
- Thank you. - All right, all right.
大家都安静
Everybody quiet down.
准备开会
Let's get this meeting started.
首先说坏消息
First, the bad news.
我和乌比发现
Oopie and I discovered
奶奶在密尔沃基的大街上游荡
Nana wandering the streets of Milwaukee.
她当时光着脚迷失了方向
She was barefoot, disoriented,
我们终于找到她的时候
and by the time we caught up with her,
她一直叫我宾恩
she kept calling me Bing,
只想和乌比一起唱圣诞颂歌♥
and she just wanted to sing Christmas carols with Oopie.
我们咬咬牙还是决定
We made the tough choice
把她送去养老院
of putting her in a nursing home.
我早几年前就说过要把她送去养老院了
I told you we should've put her in a home years ago.
谢天谢地我们找到了她
I mean, thank God we found her when we did.
我们五年前确实应该送她去养老院
We really should've put her in that home five years ago.
然后说说好消息
Now for the good news.
奶奶的房♥子空出来了没有按揭贷款
Nana's house is empty, no mortgage.
我们可以租出去
We could rent it out.
我有个客人在她祖父过世后把房♥子租了出去
One of my clients did that when her grandpa passed,
每个月都能白拿钱
and it's, like, free money every month.
是啊
Yeah, no.
我们完全可以把房♥子租出去
We--we could always-- we could rent it out, you know?
塔米的客户还有她客户的祖父
Um, Tami's client and the client's grandfather--
总之就是能赚一大笔钱
that's, you know-- you can make a lot of money.
而且不费吹灰之力
That way--free money.
这是个方法
That's a possibility.
或者我们可以采取一条更基♥督♥教的路线
Or we could walk a more Christian path.
也许我们应该利用这个转折点
Maybe we should use this turn of events
来展现耶稣对我们的爱
to demonstrate Jesus's love for us
通过帮助那些
by helping family members
生活不易的家庭成员
who are living with difficult circumstances,
比如一个拼命工作补贴家用的新手妈妈
like a new mom working herself to the bone to make ends meet
或是一个只能让全家人都挤进
or a new dad who has to cram his family
后院的狭小破旧房♥车的新手爸爸
into a tiny, decrepit RV in the backyard.
这也是个主意
That's one idea,
我赞成这个主意
an idea I am in favor of.
所以如果有人对我们提议有意见
So, if anyone has a problem with our suggestion,
现在就说出来
now's the time to speak up.
如果有人反对我们做正确的事
If anyone has an issue with us doing what's right,
行走我们的救主为我们铺的路
walking the path our Lord and Savior has laid out for us,
帮助那些比我们更不幸的人
helping those less fortunate than us,
现在就说
speak now.
什么
W--
那你们的意思是
So you're saying that--
我们把奶奶的房♥子给你们了亲爱的
We're giving you Nana's house, sweetheart,
等到你们能够自力更生为止
while you get back on your feet.
所以你同时上了妈妈和女儿
So you're doing the mom and the daughter?
那可真是太火♥辣♥了
'Cause that's hot.
不不是的
No, it's not.
-事情急转直下 -你才是急转到她们"下面"呢
- It's going south fast. - You're going south fast.
不我是认真的这事给我好大压力
No, I'm serious. It's stressing me out.
我今天早上差点露馅了
I almost got busted this morning.
我开始对整件事感到内疚
I'm starting to feel really guilty about this whole thing.
别啊姐们
No way, girl!
我有次同时上了老爹和儿子爽歪歪
I hooked up with a father and son once--it was awesome.
他们中有一个人是我三女儿的爸爸
One of them is the baby daddy of my third daughter,
但我也不知道是哪个
and I have no clue which one.
你怎么不做个亲子鉴定
Why don't you just take a paternity test?
没必要做因为
I just never had to, 'cause, like,
那个老爹太害怕自己的老婆发现
the dad was so afraid of the wife finding out
所以他给我的抚养费
that he just gave me more child support
比那个儿子给的多多了