无耻家庭

Shameless S10E10

Part 3 Feb. 20, 2020, 11:31 a.m.

It's the only way to survive
这是唯一求生法则
a Tamietti relationship.
黛比
Debbie!
我问你一个小问题
I have a quick question.
你想要份工作吗
Do you want a job?
在这儿和我一起
Here, with me?
当我的私人家庭助理
Personal home assistant.
就是帮我煮饭啊跑腿啊
You know, cooking, running errands,
把美发产品排个序之类的
maybe alphabetizing hair products.
任何能把你整天关在我家的活儿
Anything that will keep you in my house all day.
你不觉得会有点奇怪吗
You don't think that'd be kind of weird,
我为你工作
me working for you?
用不着觉得奇怪
It doesn't have to be.
我付你30美元时薪
I'll pay you $30 an hour.
你可以开我的车
And you can drive one of my cars.
奥迪或者路虎揽胜
The Audi or the, uh, Range Rover.
随你选
You pick.
如果你到现在还没看出来的话
If you can't tell by now,
告诉你
I'm, uh...
我为你神魂颠倒
crazy about you.
我考虑一下怎么样
How about I think about it?
当然可以不用有压力
Yeah. No pressure.
但你一定要答应我
But say yes.
-再见 -再见
- Bye. - Bye.
你不是应该在学校吗
Shouldn't you be in school?
我还有更重要的事要做得找到弗兰克
Got more important stuff to do. Got to find Frank.
为什么
Why?
2005年那年我们大部分时候都找不到他
We couldn't find him for most of 2005.
然后突然有一天他出现了
Then one day, there he was,
倒在厨房♥不省人事
passed out on the kitchen floor.
他就像只家猫会回来的
He's like a cat. He'll be back.
我要是不尽快找到他
If I don't find him soon,
就会被学校开除
they're gonna kick me out of school.
你在干嘛
What are you doing?
在琢磨用哪张照片做交友软件"基达"的头像
Trying to find the right Grindr profile picture.
之前用的照片都没人理
None of the ones I put up got any hits.
基达
Grindr?
你不是还爱着米奇吗
Aren't you still in love with Mickey?
是的没错
Yeah, I am.
但是出了求婚反悔的幺蛾子
But there was the whole half-proposal thing
他现在还找了个新男友
and the whole "him getting a new boyfriend" thing
再加上承诺戒那一出
and the promise-ring thing,
我现在走投无路了
and I'm desperate.
而且我还蠢到跟他说我明天会带约会对象
Now I stupidly told him that I have a date for tomorrow,
没办法只能现找了
and I actually have to find one.
抱歉是我多嘴
Sorry I asked.
给我看看你的照片
Let me see those pictures.
看得我都要睡着了
These are putting me to sleep.
谁会愿意跟他们奶奶教堂里的
No one wants to date their youth pastor
青年牧师约会啊
from their grandma's church.
-我去 -你想加点猛料吗
- Jesus. - You considered spicing it up?
把上衣脱了试试吧
Why not take your shirt off or something?
我是找人约会不是约炮
I'm looking for a date, not a hookup.
照你现在这样下去
The way you're headed,
你哪样都找不到
you're not gonna get either one.
给我
Give me that.
可能弗兰克死了
Maybe Frank's dead.
我打去太平间问问
Better go call the morgue.
我完全没预料到
I didn't see it coming.
我全程就像一只粘在蛛网里的蚊子
I was a fly caught in the web the entire time,
直到蜘蛛开始吞食我时
and I didn't realize I was trapped
我才发现自己陷入了圈套
until the spider was already eating me.
你知道你有权保持沉默的吧
You know you have the right to remain silent, right?
知道我不要这些权利了
Yeah, uh, I'm waiving all of that.
只有女人才能做到
Only a woman could've done this.
只有女人才能引诱你上钩
Only a woman can lure you in,
一边让你觉得自己是城♥堡♥之王
make you feel like the king of the castle,
一边在背后狠狠地捅你刀子
and stab you in the back all at the same time.
请伸出双手
Show me your hands, please.
不对应该从耳朵起
No. Uh, ears.
你得先检查我的耳朵然后鼻子嘴巴
You got to do my ears first, then my nose, then my mouth.
操抱歉我没什么经验
Shit. Sorry. I'm--I'm kind of new at this.
没关系小伙子
Oh, that's all right, lad.
我带你过一遍
I'll walk you through it.
你想我说心路历程吗
You--you want to hear the-- the real head trip, though?
我还是挺喜欢她的
I still kind of like her.
她的复仇大计
Her quest for revenge,
虽然有点精神变♥态♥
albeit bordering on psychopathy,
但合情合理
is justified.
对于情有可原的复仇你又有什么可气的呢
How can you be angry at justifiable revenge?
没办法嘛
You can't.
还有她的细致缜密
And her thoroughness
雷厉风行
and her ruthless efficiency...
事无巨细
her attention to detail,
叫人刮目相看你觉得呢
it's impressive, don't you think?
然后是哪里
What next?
阴囊
The scrotum.
只要把蛋蛋摆对地方
With the right testicular configuration,
这下面能藏各种东西
you can hide all kinds of things under there.
会阴就是男人的袋鼠袋
The gooch is mankind's marsupial pouch.
记好了
You remember that.
我们要是在不同的情境下相识
You know, if--if we'd met under different circumstances
我也没让她的挚爱终身监禁的话
and I never got her soul mate locked up for life,
我们俩说不定还能成
things could've worked out for us.
你接下来应该要掰开屁♥股♥
I think this is the part where you spread your cheeks
然后咳嗽对吧
and...cough?
正是看见没
Exactly right. You see?
你记性其实比你以为的要好多了
You remember more than you give yourself credit for.
真有她的
She's good.
注意一下
Pay attention.
都满出来了
That's overflowing.
汽车蓄电池油漆稀释剂
Yo! Car battery, paint thinner.
违禁物品还有满溢的垃圾桶
Prohibited items and an overflowing can.
放这儿不管了
Leave it.
等等都不收吗
Wait. All of it?
其实就几件垃圾
I mean, it's just a few things.
我们可以选择性回收啊
We could pick through it.
我们不负责垃圾分类兄弟
Not our job to sort, man.
我们要是都帮他们做了
If we did it for 'em,
这群烂人可能永远都学不会
how are these fucking people ever gonna learn?
要想他们学会我们只能爱之深责之切
The only way to teach 'em-- tough love.
别管了
Leave it.
弯腰时也得弯弯膝盖兄弟
Got to bend with your knees, man.
人这一辈子只能弯七千次腰
You only get 7,000 waist-bends in a lifetime.
然后呢
Then what happens?
死了呗
You die.
我妈没注意把几双运动鞋给扔了
My mom accidentally threw out a bunch of sneakers--
都是我准备在网上炒掉的限♥量♥款
expensive ones I was gonna sell online.
抱歉了小子
Sorry to hear that, kid.
你能帮忙找一下吗
Can you help me get them out?
不行
Oh, no.
为什么
Wh--why not?
我家就在那里
I'm just that house right down there.
鞋子可能就在上面这层呢
They're probably still near the top.
安全问题
Safety issue.
别这样哥们儿你要整死我了
Come on, bro. You're killing me.
我这下要亏1500多块钱了
I'm gonna be out, like, 1,500 bucks.
打电♥话♥给环卫部
Call the sanitation department,
说你有东西落在3871号♥卡车上了
tell 'em you lost something on truck 3871.
他们会派人帮你找的
They'll send someone to look for you.
喂