无耻家庭

Shameless S10E11

Part 3 Feb. 20, 2020, 11:31 a.m.

It's such bullshit.
我是不是也该给她准备点什么
Should I get her something too?
不用不用她会给你挑个东西
No. No, she'll pick something out for you
自己结了账然后说
then pay for it just so she can say,
"瞧瞧黛比给我的生日大礼"
"Look what Debbie got me for my birthday."
好吧
Okay.
查斯坦酒店见
See you at the Chastain Hotel.
晚上七点别迟到
7 p. m. Don't be late.
你觉得怎样
What do ya think?
我要就即将退出我热爱的篮球事业
I'm sending a letter to the "Player Gazette"
给《选手公报》寄封信
about my pending retirement from the game I love.
-什么 -能念给我们听听吗
- What? - Can we hear it?
"亲爱的篮球"...
"Dear basketball..."
我就写了这么多
That's all I have so far.
-不过开头不错 -值得期待
- Good start, though. - Promising.
这句还不是我写的我从抄科比的
It's not even mine. I stole it from Kobe.
而且我现在写东西都要戴老花镜了吗
Plus, apparently, I need reading glasses now?
天上了年纪真要命
God, gettin' old sucks.
前些天我还发现耳朵里长毛了好多毛
The other day, I found hair in my ear--lots of hair.
-还会更糟糕的 -我这都半截入土了
- Oh, it gets worse. - Half my life is over.
不止半截
More than half.
什么我才38
What? I'm only 38.
普通白人男性的预期寿命是76岁
The life expectancy for an average white man is 76.
-没错 -南区穷光蛋白人男性的
- Exactly. - The life expectancy
预期寿命则是70岁
for a poor white man from the South Side is 70
-前提还是你命好 -靠我算是整个入土了吗
- if you're lucky. - Shit, am I dead?
我只是想说你肯定已经风华不再了
I'm just saying you're definitely coming down the mountain.
小维所以我们才得扩大生意
V, that's why we gotta expand,
增加收入然后60岁前就退休
increase our revenue so we can retire by 60.
死之前活得滋润一点
Live a little before we die.
富人才退休
Retirement is for rich people.
穷♥人♥只配工作到死
Poor people drop dead on the job.
-你这是干嘛 -做点小调查而已
- What is happening? - Just a little bit a research.
客人名单列得怎么样了
How's the guest list coming?
-什么 -婚礼用的啊
- What? - For the wedding.
你想请哪些人
Who you inviting?
-我没列名单 -那你需要列个名单
- Uh, I don't have a list. - Well, you need a list.
如果我不知道
I mean, if I don't know how many people
有多少人要来婚礼我怎么知道
are comin' to the wedding, how do I know
仪式需要订多大会场
what size venue we need for the reception?
我们还搞仪式吗还订会场
We're having a reception? At a venue?
我们要办场动真格的婚礼吗
We're having a wedding wedding?
我的天你以为这些事就这么神奇地办好了
Jesus Christ, do you think this stuff just magically happens?
-你得有计划 -一个月前你还准备
- You gotta plan shit. - A month ago, you were ready
在市政厅结婚现在又想办场真正的婚礼了
to get hitched at City Hall and now you want a real wedding?
一个月能发生的事可多了比如
A lot can happen in a month. For example,
你家傻♥逼♥老爹可能会因为你是基佬
your fuckhead dad threatenin' to murder you again
再次威胁要毙了你
'cause you're gay.
就是因为这个因为特里吗
That's what this is about--Terry?
对只要能让那个死老头子更难受就行
Yup. Anything to make that miserable fuck more miserable.
快把客人名单给我我来写誓词
So gimme your guest list, I'll work on your vows,
然后我再去找独奏乐手
and I will follow up with the soloist.
-独奏乐手 -不是普通乐手
‐ A fucking soloist? ‐ Yeah, not just any soloist.
硬摇滚乐队邦乔维作品
要会弹《活在祈祷中》的原声版
Motherfucker needs to be able to rock Livin' on a Prayer, acoustic,
硬摇风的我还想要成吨♥的蜡烛
hard. Also, I'm gonna want a shit‐ton a candles,
你去找几个那种教堂小男孩
so get those, uh... church boys ready.
-你是说侍僧 -我不管他们叫什么
- Acolytes? - I don't care what they're called‐‐
反正就是点蜡烛的小崽子
the little shits that light the candles.
懂吗
You know?
去吧
Here ya go.
都帮你写下来了
Wrote it down for ya.
这个挺好看的
Oh, well, this is cute.
你为什么要帮朱莉娅买♥♥礼物
Hey, why do you buy Julia's gifts for her?
因为如果让她自己发挥
Because, if I leave it up to her,
她只会给我一坨敷衍的垃圾
she'll just give me some unthoughtful piece of junk‐‐
如果她确实打算送我东西的话
if she gives me anything at all.
你今晚有计划吗
Do you have plans tonight?
今晚怎么了
Tonight? Why?
我打算跟朋友去吃晚饭
Well, I'm having dinner with my friends
庆祝我的生日
to celebrate my birthday‐‐
没什么特别的
nothing fancy‐‐
不过如果你去的话就有趣多了
but it'd be so much more fun if you were there.
我以为明天才庆祝生日
I thought we were celebrating your birthday tomorrow.
塔莎明天要出差
Yeah, Tasha has to go outta town for work,
所以挪到今天了
so we moved it to tonight.
我家里有点事情
Just tonight I‐I have family stuff.
你知道的弗兰妮
You know, Franny.
我帮你请个保姆
I would pay for a sitter.
所有人都很想见你
And everyone is dying to meet you.
以及朱莉娅不来
Plus, Julia can't come.
她好像要去个舞会
She's going to some dance thing.
我很抱歉虽然我真的希望我能去
Yeah, I'm‐I'm sorry, I‐I really wish I could.
你知道吗其实没事
You know what? It's no big deal.
没有你我们也能庆祝
We'll just celebrate it without you.
明晚我们俩还可以一起庆祝对吧
Well, you and I can still celebrate tomorrow night, right?
不了谢谢
No, thanks.
到了我这把年纪一个生日派对就够糟心了
At my age, one birthday party is painful enough.
没事的
It's fine.
我不需要女朋友出席生日派对
I don't need my girlfriend at my birthday party.
那我尽量来吧
How 'bout I see what I could do?
真的你确定吗
Really? Are you sure?
毕竟是你的朋友和生日晚餐
Yeah, no, it's your friends and your birthday dinner.
我不能错过对吧
I can't miss that, right?
老天那真是最好的礼物了
Oh, my God, that would be the best gift ever.
我是说除了这个包之外
I mean, besides this bag
我帮你买♥♥来送给我
I'm going to buy you to give me.
既然是你过生日
Since it's your birthday,
我有一个条件
there's one condition.
由我来挑餐厅
I get to pick the restaurant.
当然
Of course.
你好
Hello!
家里有人吗
Anybody home?
你好
Hello!
有人吗
Anybody home?
女士们放轻松
Easy, ladies.
老大有何吩咐
What's up, boss?
怎么了
What's up?
奥蒂斯想让你闯进那栋房♥子
Otis wants you to bust into that house
然后在客厅里拉屎
and take a shit in the living room.
我为什么要在别人的客厅里拉屎
Why do I need to take a shit in their living room?
因为奥蒂斯让你拉
Because Otis told you to.
那如果没必要拉屎呢
What if I don't need to take a shit?
当奥蒂斯让你拉屎的时候
When Otis says take a shit,
你唯一的问题就是多大算够
your only question should be, "How big?"
如果你想证明自己不是条子
You wanna prove you're not a cop,
去客厅拉屎就行
shit in the living room.
我不需要这个
I don't need it.
房♥屋出♥售♥
该死
Oh, damn!
我在格伦科挨家挨户地找你
I been to every home in Glencoe looking for you‐‐
终于发现这家停着劳斯莱斯
finally found the one with the Rolls Royce.
有人跟着你吗
Were you followed‐‐
没别人知道我在这儿吧
Does anyone else know I'm here?
-没别人 -你想要怎样
‐ Nobody. ‐ Whay do you want?
我需要你去学校在表格上签字
I need you to sign a form at my school
否则我要被退学了
or else I can't go anymore.
我为什么要那样做
Well, why would I do that?
我想上学弗兰克
I wanna go to school, Frank.
那地狱里的人还想喝冰镇啤酒呢
Well, people in Hell want cold beer.
跟我又有什么关系
What's in it for me?
我会给儿童服务机构打电♥话♥