Assholes.
那个绿色的是什么
What's that green thing?
那是芒果
That's a mango.
芒果是这样的吗
That's what a mango looks like?
对啊
Yeah.
这些都是谁的孩子
Hmm. Who are all these kids?
是我的
They're mine.
全是你的
All of 'em?
对 不过爸爸都不同
Yeah, you know, it's different baby daddies.
我的天 真厉害
Oh, my gosh, damn.
你怎么养得起他们
How do you afford to feed 'em all?
-嫁入豪门了 -我有个很好的律师
- You marry rich? - I got a good lawyer.
都靠子女抚养费 所有爸爸都要付
It's child support, and all the fathers contribute.
真的吗
Really?
当然有些人付得多一些
Some more than others, obviously.
他们给我的子女抚养费越多
So, like, the more they give me in child support,
我就给相应孩子买♥♥更好的衣服
the better clothes I get for the kid.
真的假的
Huh. No shit?
对 所以摩伊莎能穿拉尔夫·劳伦
Yeah, that's why Moesha is wearing Ralph Lauren,
奇普只能穿二手店的垃圾
and is Chip is wearing shit from Goodwill.
奇普 你♥爸♥付的那点钱就够这些
Chip, you get what Daddy pays for.
这是弗兰妮吗
Is this Franny?
对
Yeah.
她穿的这身衣服是怎么回事
What's going on here with these clothes?
德里克赖着不给钱吗
Is Derek, like, a deadbeat dad?
不是
No.
他是说过要付抚养费
I mean, he offered to pay child support,
但他想要共有监护权
but he wanted partial custody.
所以我拒绝了
So I said "No."
共有监护权简直是天赐良机 就是免费保姆
Shared custody is a godsend. It's a free babysitter.
让他每周带一天孩子
Let him have the kid one night a week.
你就能出门了 秀出你的双峰
That's when you go out. You bust out your humps.
去间酒吧 享受"奶油派"
You go to a bar, and you get that pie cream.
我想我知道你指的是什么
Yeah, I think I know what you mean.
你得努力赢得精♥子♥
You gotta earn that sperm.
精♥子♥存货就是银行存款
A sperm deposit is a bank deposit.
也许吧
Yeah, maybe.
也许吧 无论如何
Maybe. Either way,
强烈建议你再考虑下德里克的提议
I would definitely revisit the Derek situation.
榨干♥他♥的一切
Milk him for everything you can get.
谢了
Thanks.
我的天
Oh, my God.
瞧瞧那个帅气的犹太人
Look at that fine looking Jew.
一看就知道他有份好工作
You know that man has a good job.
我得走了
I gotta go.
很高兴见到你 梅根
Okay, good seeing you, Megan.
走了 走了
Come on. Come on.
好的 好的
Okay, okay.
祝你平安[希伯来语]Shalom.
那个一直在哭的女人 她没事吧
That woman that was crying, all the time, is she okay?
那是米娜尔 患有产后抑郁症
Oh, Minal, suffering from postpartum depression.
真惨
Sucks.
我们也叫她"爱哭鬼麦基" "恐惧之泪"
Also known as "Weeps McGee", "Tears for Fears",
"艾米丽·产后抑郁"和"哭泣游戏"
"Emily Post-partum," and "The Crying Game."
愿老天保佑她
God bless her.
好吧
Okay.
那个不停地给你汇报自己阴♥部♥近况的人
The one who never stops giving you medical updates on her vagina.
对 很多 很多不必要的细节
Yes, deep, deep details. Yeah.
那是莎伦
That's Sharon.
不用说
Needless to say
我们都叫她"过度分享莎伦"
we call her "Over Sharon",
但不当着她的面
but not to her face.
你的外号♥叫什么
What's your nickname?
我没有外号♥
I don't have a nickname.
至少我不知道 我太普通了
At least that I know of. I'm too normal.
怎么了
What?
只有疯子才说自己普通
Only crazy people say that.
还有 那个抱着假娃娃的女人
Oh, that, that lady with the fake baby,
她是怎么回事
what's, what's going on there?
那是吉娜
Oh, Gina.
她分娩时孩子死了
She lost her baby during childbirth.
本来 她的心理医生说娃娃能帮助她度过难关
Supposedly, her therapist said the doll would help her overcome the loss.
这也太惨了
Wow, that'd suck.
真可怕
That's terrible.
她的外号♥呢
What's her nickname?
疯姑娘吉娜
Batshit Gina.
你们是个互相支持的小组 对吧
You guys are a sympathetic group, huh?
重申一下 我们只在背后这么叫
Again, we only call her that behind her back.
你孩子妈妈的事 我很遗憾
Sorry about your baby mama.
我第一次剖腹产时也有并发症
I had complications with my first C-section too.
她会没事的
She's gonna be fine.
希望如此
Yeah, I hope so.
那你平时都干什么
So, what do you do when you're not
不参加互助会这些的时候
in AA or...whatever?
我教婴儿游泳
I teach babies how to swim.
什么 骗人的吧
What? Bullshit.
是真的 我是个婴儿游泳教练
I do! I'm an infant swim instructor.
还有这玩意儿
That's a thing?
是啊 对婴儿有好处
Yeah, it's good for them.
锻炼肌肉
Builds muscle,
增强协调性和平衡性 有助睡眠
improves coordination and balance, sleep...
然后他们就淹死了
Right before they drown.
他们之前已经在羊水里游了九个月呢
They've been swimming for nine months in amniotic fluid.
游泳池没什么区别的
A swimming pool's no different.
但就是不一样
Yeah, but it is.
等弗莱德六个月大 我就能带他进泳池
I can get Fred in the water when he's six months.
不 不用了 谢谢 别了
No. No, no, no thank you. No.
相信我 如果你想有自己的生活
Trust me, if you ever want a life,
他越快学会就越好
the sooner he learns the better.
今天来青年会一趟
Come by the Y today,
我带你看看是怎么回事
and I'll show you how it's done.
你感觉怎么样 兄弟
How you feeling, buddy?
好多了
Much better.
我刚才就是需要吃点东西
I just think I needed to eat something.
-工作图表 -最后一季度
- Work charts. - Last quarter.
-流程图 -趋势分♥析♥
- Flowcharts. - Trending.
-没错 -红利
- Yeah. - Dividends.
-绝对的 -再投资
- Absolutely. - Reinvest.
-必须这样 -点数
- Well, you got to. - Points.
离岸
Offshore.
我想我们是时候出击了
I think it's probably time for us to make our move.
出什么击
What move?
看到坐在你后面那两个人了吗
See the two guys sitting behind ya?
等他们再去拿食物 你就跟着我做
When they go back to the buffet, do what I do.
好的
Okay, okay.
我们继续拿吃的吧
We should probably keep going.
-好戏登场 -好戏登场
- Show time. - Show time.
-走 -好
- Go. - Yeah.
我叫什么名字
What's my name?
贝瑟妮
Uh, Bethany.
就是我们啦
That's us.
那家伙是嫌犯
The dude is suspect.
谁 马瓦尔吗
What dude, Mavar?
是的
Yeah.
你一定会看得很开心的 兰森太太
I really think you're gonna enjoy these, Mrs. Ranson.
请把我们推荐给你的朋友
Please, tell all your friends about us.
好
Yeah.
喂
Hey. Yo!
毒虫
Yo, crackhead!
你想干什么
What are you gonna do,
把东西偷走 然后再卖♥♥回给我吗
steal it and try to sell it back to me?
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