神烦警探
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
第三季
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神烦警探
Brooklyn Nine-Nine S03E17
Part 2
Oct. 2, 2020, 9:41 a.m.
Rosa's dressed like a porcupine--
Rosa则打扮成豪猪
Oh, no, no. We're just gonna do a simple,
不不 我们一切从简
straightforward tour of the precinct
直接展示一下我们片区
featuring Detective Diaz and me.
我和Diaz警探主演
Are you sure?
你确定吗
You're not our most dynamic screen presences.
你们俩的荧幕形象都不是很有活力啊
I can be dynamic.
我可以很有活力
Exclamation point.
感叹号♥
Well, Diaz and I have that kind of easy chemistry
Diaz和我很有默契
where we finish each other's Sentences.
我们可以补充完对方的 话
Please, don't interrupt me.
请不要打断我
That kind of nonsense won't happen on camera.
这种无稽之谈是不会出现在镜头上的
Hey, hey, Pimento.
嘿 嘿 Pimento
Hey!
嘿
This is my desk, okay?
这是我的办工桌 懂了吗
Okay, well, now that that's out of the way,
好吧 这种打招呼的方式有点不同寻常
I was just coming to let you know
我只是来告诉你
we're gonna work a B&E together;
我们会一起跟进一桩破门侵入案
we're gonna be partners.
我们要成为搭档了
Nope. I work alone.
不 我都是单独行动的
Plus, The Butcher says he has spies in the NYPD,
而且"屠夫"说过他在纽约警局有间谍
so I trust none of these dildos.
所以我不会相信这里的娘炮
Listen, you can trust me.
听着 你可以信任我
I'm, like, obsessed with you. Fine.
哥迷恋你 好吧
Tell me something you've never told another living soul.
告诉我一件你从未告诉过别人的秘密
Um...
呃
Ooh, here's one.
噢 有一个
I'm actually not strong enough to lift a water cooler jug,
我举不起饮水机的水桶
so I always find a way to make Terry do it.
所以我总是想方设法地让Terry举
Here's mine.
我也有一个秘密
Jimmy "The Butcher" Made me drive a croquet wicket
"屠夫" Jimmy曾经让我把槌球的门
through a guy's eyes into his brain.
从一个人的眼睛那里穿进大脑里
Brain leaked out his eyes like he was crying his own mind.
他的脑浆从眼睛里流出来 就像在流眼泪一样
My goodness.
我的天哪
Now that I've heard yours,
听过你的秘密以后
I feel like my water cooler thing
我觉得我应该把我举不起饮水机水桶
could have been a little more juicy, but...
这件事编的更有料一点的 但是
No. That was embarrassing for you.
不 那样对你来说才是尴尬
A bond has been made.
你现在就是我兄弟了
Feels good to trust again, brother.
能够再次信任别人的感觉真好 兄弟
Wow, either you are a cyborg
哇哦 你要么是个半机械人
or you're carrying so many weapons in this jacket.
要么就是你这衣服里装的武器太多了
Hey. Kitchen, now.
嘿 去厨房♥ 现在
Okay.
好的
What's up?
怎么了
Something's not right about that guy.
那家伙不太对劲
Why, just because he keeps threatening to kill me
为啥 就因为他一直在片区里
in the middle of a police precinct? Uh, grow up.
威胁要弄死我 拜托 成熟一点好吗
Because I'm physically attracted to him.
因为我居然对他有性趣
And that's bad?
这难道是件坏事
I'm only attracted to creeps: the Vulture, the ShamWow guy,
我只对变♥态♥有性趣 比如 "秃鹫" ShamWow广♥告♥代言人
and when I was a kid,
我小的时候
I had a major crush on the evil Gremlin.
还特别喜欢小魔怪里的邪恶精灵
Stripe? Are you crazy?
你指Stripe 你疯了吗
Yeah, well I'm not gonna bone Gizmo.
对 反正我不会和善良小精灵Gizmo上♥床♥
I would. Careful with Pimento.
我就会 小心点Pimento
It's gonna be fine.
不会有事的
Hey, partner.
你好啊搭档
I've been waiting for you.
我一直在等你
Sorry if I surprised you.
如果吓到你了我很抱歉
It's just when I was undercover, the middle of the night
只是我做卧底时 只有在半夜的时候
was the only time I could do actual police work.
我才可以做警♥察♥的工作
Uh, how'd you get in the apartment?
你是怎么进来的
Oh, it was easy.
哦 很简单
I just seduced the old lady upstairs,
我勾引了楼上的老太太
came down the fire escape, jimmied the window open.
从防火梯那里下来 然后撬开了窗户
Bing-bang-boom, I'm inside your living quarters.
呯嗙嘭 我就进来了
Totally.
确实是
Course, next time you could just give me a call, you know.
当然 下次你可以给我打个电♥话♥ 你知道的
Two ways to pop in on a friend.
拜访朋友有两种方法
I didn't kill the old lady upstairs,
我没杀掉楼上的老太太
if that's what you're worried about.
如果你是担心这个的话
Well, I am now.
好吧 我现在担心了
Oh, wait a minute.
噢 等一下
You think I'm being weird.
你觉得我很奇怪
Oh, I shouldn't have come here. This is your apartment.
天啊 我不应该来的 这是你的公♥寓♥
I'm so sorry, Jake! Stupid, Paul!
我太抱歉了Jake Paul你真蠢
Stupid! You idiot, Paul!
笨蛋 你个白♥痴♥ Paul
Hey! Pimento! Huh?!
嘿 Pimento 啊
Who's Paul? Whoa.
Paul是谁 哇哦
Paul Sneed was my undercover name.
Paul Sneed是我卧底时的名字
'Kay? Damn it, Jake.
好吧 妈的 Jake
I don't know who I am anymore.
我再也不知道我是谁了
You could have chose any name to go undercover,
你卧底时候能随意选名字
and you picked Paul Sneed?
结果你选了Paul Sneed吗
Seems kind of crazy.
听起来挺疯狂的
I shouldn't have come here.
我不该来的
This was a mistake. I'm not ready.
这是一个错误 我还没准备好
I knew I wasn't ready to go back to being police.
我早就知道我还没准备好重新当一名警♥察♥
It's the only job I've ever had except for bagging groceries
除了在大西洋城和克♥林♥顿♥城角落里的超♥市♥装袋以外
at the supermarket at the corner of Atlantic and Clinton.
当警♥察♥是我唯一做过的工作了
I guess I could go back to that again.
我想我还是回去装袋去吧
"Paper or plastic?"
"纸袋还是塑料袋呢"
Yeah, still got it.
还掌握着这门技能呢
Listen to me, I was undercover.
听我说 我也当过卧底
63 days with the Mafia. I saw some messed-up stuff.
和黑♥手♥党♥待了63天 我看到过很糟糕的事
I know what your struggle is.
我知道你在挣扎什么
And I can bring you home, but you've got to trust me.
我能帮你从那段经历中恢复过来 但你必须要相信我
Okay. Yeah.
好 行
Great. Now, I've got to get some sleep.
很好 现在我必须要睡一会儿
You're welcome to stay here and work the case if you want.
如果你愿意的话 你可以留在这 办办案子
Thanks, partner.
谢谢 搭档
I promise I won't disturb you at all.
我保证一点都不会打扰到你
Whuuuhhhh.
哼
Whuuuhhhh.
哈
Hey, Pimento. Huh?
嘿 Pimento 啊
I thought you were just gonna be looking through the files or something, man.
我以为你就是看看文件什么的
Sorry, brother.
抱歉 兄弟
Tai chi helps keep the demons at bay.
太极能抑制心中的恶魔
Right.
好吧
And...
而且
Do you have to do it in your underwear?
你非要穿着内♥裤♥打太极吗
I can't take them off,
我不能脱下来
'cause then you'd be looking right at my penis and testicles.
因为那样的话你就会直直地看到我的丁丁和蛋蛋了
Can't argue with that logic. Mm-kay.
这个逻辑倒是无法反驳 好吧
Why is there so much garbage in here?
为什么这里有这么多垃圾
Mean Marge won't clean up the stew.
刻薄Marge不想清理炖菜
And also, she suspended our trash service.
而且还不给我们倒垃圾了
What happened?
发生啥了
You didn't grovel enough, did you?
你还不够卑躬屈膝是吧
Seriously, Amy, you're gonna ask Charles Boyle
真的吗 Amy 你质疑我Charles Boyle
if he groveled enough? Come on!
有没有足够卑躬屈膝 拜托
This is the grossest thing I've ever seen,
这是我见过的最恶心的地方
and I have three kids under the age of four.
而且我还有三个四岁以下的孩子呢
I live in a house of fluids.
我就住在鼻涕和口水里面
Look, I have a plan, okay?
听着 我有个计划
We're just gonna go over Mean Marge's head
我们就越过刻薄Marge
and we're gonna tell Holt.
直接告诉Holt
Tell me what?
告诉我什么
Oh, well, I don't know if you noticed,
噢 好吧 我不知道你有没有注意到
神烦警探
Brooklyn Nine-Nine
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