神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S03E14

Part 4 Oct. 2, 2020, 9:40 a.m.

I'm a little plugged up.
我有点便秘
Oh, well, say no more.
哦不用再说了
I have an entire cabinet devoted just to that.
我有一柜子治便秘的药
Wow. TMI, you guys.
哇信息量太大了
Thank you.
谢谢
Oh, man, this is so much fun.
哦真好玩
Thanks for giving me a second chance, buddy.
谢谢你给我第二次机会兄弟
Second chance?
第二次机会
Are you seriously not getting
你是真的没看明白
what I'm charades-ing down at you?
我在跟你比划什么嘛
That was you and Sheila Bodden
我比划的是你和Sheila Bodden
humping it up in the back of our car.
在车里做的那些羞羞的事
What? I--
什么我
Yeah, that's right. I saw you.
是的没错我都看到了
I saw your weird dad butt,
我看到了你那诡异的老爹屁♥股♥
and I saw her aquamarine leotard bunched up around her ankles!
我还看到了她宝石蓝的紧身衣都脱到脚踝了
It scarred me for life.
给我留下了人生阴影
I'm sorry. I--I didn't know you saw that.
我很抱歉我我不知道你看见了
Yeah, well, I did, and I never told Mom about it,
是的我看见了而且我从来没有告诉妈这件事
but I swear to you, I will unless you leave right now.
但是我发誓如果你现在不走我会告诉她的
Should be easy for you since it's your favorite thing to do
对你应该不难吧毕竟除了与女人们约炮之外
aside from humping it up with ladies.
离开是你最喜欢做的事
You think I'm way more sexually active than I am.
你把我想得太花"性"了
I mean, I've only had sex with, like, 400 women.
我只上了大概 400个女人
What? 400? Oh, my God.
什么 400个我的天哪
Is that a lot? I mean, all my friends are pilots.
那很多吗我的朋友都是飞行员
I'm on the low end of average.
我已经算是平均偏下的水平了
Listen. I don't want to hurt your mother.
听着我不想伤害你妈妈
Please...don't tell her about Sheila.
请不要告诉她Sheila的事情
Fine, I won't,
好啊我不说
provided you leave right now.
只要你现在就走
Your move, white devil.
该你了白色恶魔
So if I'm correct, this should contain...
如果我是对的这里应该有
key number one!
一号♥钥匙
Yay. Open the door.
太棒了快开门
Oh, we need to find four keys.
我们需要找到四把钥匙
And it took half our time just to find this one
我们花了一半时间才找到这把
because I had to do it completely alone.
因为只有我一个人在干活儿
You're all useless.
你们根本毫无用处
Sorry. I've been a little busy trying to solve the puzzle of
抱歉我正忙着思考一个问题
how does one man chew so loud
为什么一个人只有一张嘴
with just one mouth?
还可以嚼得这么响
Sorry.
抱歉
Could you stop kicking that thing for one minute, Hitchcock?
你能别踢那个东西了吗 Hitchcock
The TV's being a dick.
这台电视太混♥蛋♥了
You got to turn it, like, four times just to change the damn channel.
你得调大概四次才能该死的换个台
Four times?
四次
Try turning it to...
试试把它调到
22, 18, 81, 17.
22 18 81 17
The coordinates for the Bay of Pigs.
猪湾的坐标
And the military...
这次军事行动
Nice job.
真棒
You broke the TV.
你把电视弄坏了
No, I found another key, you dolt.
不我找到了另一把钥匙你个白♥痴♥
So one was in a knight,
所以一把钥匙在骑士棋子里
the basketball teams were the Mustangs and Stallions.
篮球队是野马队和公马队
We only need two more keys.
我们只需要另外两把钥匙了
This just might work out after all.
说不定最后真能成功
You're damn right it will,
我们当然会赢
'cause we're a ragtag, scrappity,
因为我们是一帮由可悲的臭皮匠
fart-dumb, moron parade, smart-ass team!
放屁的蠢货招摇的白♥痴♥ 组成的超厉害队伍
Okay, we're all good.
好了我们都挺好的
Raw garlic. Cures everything.
生大蒜治愈一切
It sure does, and it's so delicious.
当然而且超级美味
Uh...
嗯
Where's your father?
你♥爸♥去哪儿了
Oh, Roger, you mean?
哦你是说Roger
He left very suddenly.
他突然就走了
Said something about "Being the worst."
说着什么"简直太糟了"
What did you say to him, Jake? What?
你对他说了什么 Jake 什么
Why do you assume that I said something?
为什么你觉得我说了什么
He's a leaving jerk, so he left like a jerk.
他就是一个不告而别的混♥蛋♥ 所以他像混♥蛋♥一样不告而别了
This is what he does.
就是他的行事风格
He's not a monster. Yeah, well,
他不是个大恶人呵呵
you wouldn't say that if you knew everything that he's done.
如果你知道他干过的所有事你就不会这么说了
What did he do, Jake?
他做了什么 Jake
Nothing. You know, just, like
没什么你知道的就是一些
super-awful life-changing things.
非常糟糕的改变人生的事情
No follow-up questions.
别问下去了
Is it worse than the time he cheated on me with Sheila Bodden?
比他与Sheila Bodden出轨还糟糕吗
Ah.
啊
You knew about that?
你知道这件事
Yeah.
对
I knew about that.
我知道这件事
The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout
一只小蜘蛛爬上了水龙头
I can't believe you knew about Sheila.
我不敢相信你知道Sheila那件事
I also knew about Wendy.
我还知道Wendy
And Bonnie.
还有Bonnie
Bonnie who wears a wig?
戴假发的那个Bonnie
She left it in our bathroom.
她把假发掉在我们卫生间了
That's how I found out.
我就是这么发现的
And also, remember your turtle, Graham Crackers?
你还记得你的乌龟Graham Crackers吗
Dad had sex with my turtle?
爸和我的乌龟做♥爱♥了
No, no, no, no, but he--
不不不不不但是他
he stepped on it getting out of bed.
他下床的时候踩到了它
But you said Graham Crackers got married and moved in with his wife.
但是你说Graham Crackers结婚了然后与他的妻子搬走了
How did I not know any of this stuff?
我怎么一点儿也不知道这些事儿
Well, because you were a kid,
因为你还是个孩子
and kids don't actually know a lot about their parents.
孩子通常不会很了解他们的父母
Jake, I've dated a lot of men in the last 20 years.
Jake 在过去20年里我找了很多男人
You have? A lot.
真的很多
Okay, you don't have to put so much mustard on it.
好吧你不用这么刺♥激♥我
And I haven't met anyone I like.
我还没有遇到一个喜欢的人
But I like your father.
但我喜欢你♥爸♥
And I know he has been a selfish jerk,
我知道他是一个自私的混♥蛋♥
but he really has changed.
但他真的已经变了
Last month when I had bronchitis,
上个月我得了支气管炎的时候
he flew in on his day off just to bring me soup.
他在休息日飞过来只是为了给我带汤
It was this weird Canadian soup.
虽然是超诡异的加拿大汤
I-I think it was just all cheese.
我觉得基本上全是奶酪
But it was really nice.
但是真的很暖心
Man, I feel stupid.
哦我觉得自己好蠢
I was just trying to protect you,
我只是想保护你
but I clearly made everything worse.
但是显然我把事情都搅黄了
You have been protecting me since you were a kid.
从你还是个孩子的时候你就在保护我
Sometimes I think you got so good at it,
有时候我觉得你太擅长这个了
you decided to become a cop and protect everyone.
所以你决定成为一名警♥察♥来保护所有人
Oh, that's a cool thought,
这个想法不错
but I became a cop because of "Die Hard."
但是我是因为<虎胆龙威>才当警♥察♥的
I love you.
我爱你
I love you, too, Mom.
我也爱你妈
Come here.
来抱抱
You know, I'm probably remembering
你知道吗事实上我裸得
a lot more nakedness than there actually was.
大概没有我记得的那么多
No, you're not.
不是的
Also, no one's gonna see it on that little TV.
还有大概没人能从那么小的电视上看得到
Great news.
好消息
We were able to snag the new flat screen.
我们成功搞来了新的平板电视
4K, baby!
高清哦宝贝
Your honor, Mr. Tran claims that he had no narcotics on him.
法官大人 Tran先生声称他并没有携带毒品