绝望的主妇

Desperate Housewives S01E02

Part 2 Oct. 22, 2019, 10:45 a.m.

"Dear diary, Mike doesn't even know I'm alive."
闭嘴
Shut up.
想跟他约会得主动约他
If you want to date him, you're going to have to ask him out.
我一直希望他能来约我
I keep hoping he'll ask me out.
结果呢
How's that going?
你该给你的小朋友们做
Shouldn't you be making brownies
巧克力蛋糕了吧
for your nerdy friends?
我找不到量杯你见到了吗
I can't find the measuring cup. Have you seen it?
量杯
The measuring cup?
是啊
Yeah.
肯定就在附近
I -- well, it's -- it's got to be here somewhere.
再找找看
Just keep looking.
我知道你醒着
I know you're awake.
我知道你是个混♥蛋♥
I know you're a jerk.
和塔纳卡的晚餐时间有点长我很抱歉
Dinner with Tanaka ran long. I'm sorry.
卡洛斯我跟你结婚并不是为了
You know, Carlos, I didn't marry you
一周有六天都是自己单独吃晚餐
so I could have dinner by myself six times a week.
你知道我今天有多无聊吗
You know how bored I was today?
我就差这么点就要自己打扫房♥子了
I came this close to actually cleaning the house.
别这样我给你买♥♥礼物了
Don't be that way. I got you a gift.
不行不不
Nope. No, no, no, no.
你这次可不能这么轻易打发我
You're not going to buy your way out of this one.
是个好礼物哦
It's a good gift.
是白金的吗
Is that white gold?
是把这戴上
Yeah. Put it on...
然后跟我做♥爱♥
and then make love to me.
没心情
I'm not in the mood.
不过我们可以聊聊天
But we could stay up and talk.
当男人送女人如此昂贵的珠宝
When a man buys a woman expensive jewelry,
想得到的回报
there are many things he may want in return, for future reference,
绝对不是聊天
conversation ain't one of them.
-我在开玩笑呢 -是啊
- Hey, that was a joke. - Yeah, right.
-你到底怎么回事 -放开我
- What the hell is wrong with you? - Let go of me.
你这个月一直很奇怪怎么了
Hey, you've been acting like a nightmare for a month. What's wrong?
你得告诉我才能解决
I can't fix it unless you tell me.
没有激♥情♥了卡洛斯
It's not exciting anymore, Carlos.
那我应该怎么做
So what am I supposed to do?
我不知道
I don't know.
像你以前那样
Be the way you used to be.
给我惊喜让我激动
Surprise me. Take my breath away.
好的
Okay.
好的
Okay.
-嘿苏珊 -麦克
-Hey, Susan. - Mike.
怎么了
What's wrong?
我没想到外面会有人
I didn't realize anybody was going to be out here.
我刚从床上爬起来
I just sort of rolled out of bed.
你看起来很好
I'm sure you look fine.
邦戈别叫
Oh, Bongo, stop.
抱歉他很容易受惊吓
Sorry, uh... he scares easy.
没关系我懂
No, it-- it's fine. I-I get it.
没想到会打扰你
I didn't mean to disturb you.
待会见
I'll see you later.
你想和我一起吃晚饭吗
Do you want to have dinner with me?
就我们俩
Just the two of us?
还有朱莉
Well... and Julie.
有新邻居搬进来的时候我们就会这样
It's a thing we do when somebody new moves into the neighborhood,
邀请他们来家里吃饭
we invite them over for a home-cooked meal.
算是种传统吧
Sort of a tradition.
我记得你说你厨艺很烂
I thought you were a lousy cook.
我可以叫外卖♥♥
Well, I order take-out.
用外卖♥♥招待请来的客人吗
You invite 'em for home-cooking and give 'em take-out?
这是一种新传统
Yeah, ah, it's sort of a new tradition.
我突发奇想的
I'm working out the kinks.
这样吧我来做饭
I'll tell you what. How about I cook?
你们来我家吃饭
You guys come over to my place.
太好了
Oh, great.
-周五晚上六点 -我一定准时到
- Friday night at six? - I'll be there.
好的走吧
Right. Come on.
拜拜邦戈
Bye, Bongo.
朱莉麦克·德尔非诺邀请
Julie! Mike Delfino just invited us
我们周五去吃晚饭
to dinner Friday night.
是吗太好了
He did? Cool.
但是只有我去
But only I'm going because you're
因为你生重病
gonna come down with something serious
需要卧床休息打吊瓶
that requires bed rest and fluids.
朱莉很高兴苏珊重新开始她的爱情生活
Julie was glad Susan was rekindling her love life.
当然她还不知道
Of course, she was unaware of her
她妈妈的纵火行为
mother's recent track record with fire.
都没了我前夫多年的辛苦
It's all gone. Everything my ex-husband
全都没了
worked for all those years, gone.
别担心衣服
Don't worry about clothing.
我已经去邻居那募集了一些
I already started a collection from the neighborhood.
什么我可不想穿别人的旧衣服
What? I don't want to wear other people's old crap.
伊迪你可以无家可归也可以衣着寒酸
Edie, you can be homeless or ungracious.
但是两者兼备可够你受的
You really can't afford to be both.
这倒提醒我了我保险的支票还没到呢
That reminds me. My insurance check still hasn't come yet.
我能跟你多住几周吗
Could I stay with you a few more weeks?
当然没问题如果我连个落难的朋友
Of course. What kind of christian would I be
都不帮助还算什么基♥督♥徒
if I denied shelter to a friend in need?
看还有些东西可以变废为宝
Oh, look. Here's something we can salvage.
你的量杯
Your measuring cup.
只需擦掉烧焦的部分
We can scrape of the burnt part and
它就会焕然一新
it'll look good as new.
那不是我的我的是塑料的
That's not my cup. Mine was plastic.
那它怎么在这里
Well, how did it get in here?
不知道管它呢
I don't know. Who cares?
能把那玩意放下然后帮我找找珠宝吗
Now, would you put that down and start looking for jewelry?
艾伯特·高德芬博士是城里
Dr. Albert Goldfine was the most accomplished
最有名的婚姻顾问
marriage counselor in the city.
他处理过无数起婚姻问题从吸毒
He had dealt with problems ranging from substance abuse...
到婚外情
...to infidelity...
还有家庭暴♥力♥
...to domestic violence.
高德芬博士以为他对婚姻了如指掌
Yes, Dr. Goldfine thought he had seen it all.
直到他遇见范德坎普夫妇
And then he met the Van de Kamps.
你好我是布里这是我丈夫雷克斯
Hi. I'm Bree. And this is my husband Rex.
我给你带了一些自♥制♥的香包
And I brought you some homemade potpourri.
你想得没错
The answer is yes.
你要从我们身上赚大钱了
You're about to make a fortune off us.
-走开 -孩子们
- Ah, get off! - Boys!
孩子们拜托
Guys, I'm begging you.
乖乖坐好
Sit in your seats.
我不想重复系上安全带
I'm not gonna tell you again. Buckle up.
我说真的
I mean it, so help me...
该死
Oh, shoot. Crap!
是我先玩的
I was playing with it first!
请出示驾驶证和车辆登记证
License and registration, please.
夫人知道我为什么拦你吗
Ma'am, you know why I pulled you over?
我知道
I have a theory.
这些小家伙应该坐好系上安全带
The kids should be sitting wearing seat belts.
我告诉他们不要他们不听没办法
I yelled at them. They never listen. It's very frustrating.
你应该好好管管他们
You have to find a way to control them.
毕竟这是你的分内事
After all, that's your job.
尽管他已经做了六年的警♥察♥
Though he'd been a policeman for six years,
海耶斯警官却不知道这次
officer Hayes had never found himself
他将身处险境
in a truly dangerous situation.
他以前从来没告诉过一个女人
Then again, he had never before told
该如何去管教孩子
a woman how to raise her children.
你说我是一个失败的母亲
Are you saying I'm a bad mother?
夫人请回到车里去
Get back in your car, please.
我没有办法我的丈夫总在外忙生意
I have no help. My husband's always away on business.
我必须警告你马上回到车里