绝望的主妇

Desperate Housewives S01E20

Part 4 Oct. 22, 2019, 10:47 a.m.

Ok, you wanna talk about this?
那我们就谈谈好了
Let's talk.
没错汤姆和我是曾热恋过
Yes, Tom and I were in love.
但他和你结婚了
But he married you.
我也没打算去拆散一对恩爱夫妻
I'm not looking to break up a happy couple.
况且这事你做得比我顺手多了不是吗
Anyway, that's rather more your speed, isn't it?
女士们早上好
Morning, ladies.
我进来充充电
Just coming in for a little more fuel.
别人当作垃圾的东西却是我的灵丹妙药
Yup. One man's sludge is another man's liquid gold.
好了回去继续奋斗
Well, back to the trenches.
给我注意点汤姆和我密不可分
Watch your step. Tom and I are a team.
我们的婚姻坚不可摧
Our marriage is rock solid.
无论你做什么都是白费心机
Nothing you do could ever break that up.
那你何必站在这里警告我
Then why are you down here right now, warning me?
加布丽尔你怎么来了
Gabrielle! What brings you down here?
老天爷你这次又造了什么孽
Oh, sweet mother of god, what have you done this time?
-你怀孕了 -是的
- You're pregnant? - Yes.
这根本不可能我一直在吃避孕药
And it's impossible, I'm on the pill.
也许你会认为这是一种犯罪
Which you probably think is a sin,
但这药的确有效
but it works.
这可是99.9%的有效犯罪啊
It's a 99.9% effective sin.
也许在那0.1%中有上帝的旨意呢
Maybe it's in that one tenth of a percent that god resides.
你就是忍♥不住要这么说是吧
Couldn't wait to throw that in, could you?
老天在耍着我玩呢
God is screwing with me.
他不喜欢我现在的生活方式
He doesn't like the way I live my life
所以他要惩罚我
so he's punishing me.
那你有没有做什么会遭报应的事呢
Have you done something that would warrant being punished?
那个园丁
The gardener?
我以为那已经结束了
I thought that was over.
是结束了然后...
No, it was, and then...
你意会吧我说不清
You just had to be there.
我想说的是
That's my point is,
我肯定会是个糟糕的母亲
I'd be an awful mother.
我既自私又自我为中心
I'm selfish and self-centered...
唯一比我还自我中心的人就是卡洛斯
The only person more self-centered than me is Carlos.
他太自我中心了
He's so self-centered,
以至于都未曾意识我也这么自我中心
he doesn't know how self-centered I am.
我们将是一对糟糕的父母
We'd be terrible parents.
加布丽尔我想帮你
Gabrielle, I'd like to help,
但我不知道你到底想怎么样
but I'm not sure what it is you want.
我只是不知道该生谁的气
It's just, I wanna know who to be angry at.
不如这么想吧别生气
Here's thought, don't be angry.
感恩吧孩子是上帝的礼物不是吗
Be thankful. Children are a gift, are they not?
我才没时间听你的废话
I don't have time for this crap.
我还要策划一个派对
I have a party to plan.
谢了
Thanks.
伊迪
Edie
一切都进行得不错啊
Wow. Things are really coming along.
是啊缓慢而昂贵
Yeah. Slowly and expensively.
这一切都是值得的
It'll be worth it.
你做得很棒
You're doing an amazing job.
所以看来你天生就是个掠夺者
So look, you're basically... a predator
我需要些建议
and I need some advice.
我知道汤姆爱我
And I know Tom loves me,
只是我不信任这个女人
but I don't trust this woman.
我觉得这背后一定暗藏诡计
I think there's an agenda there.
我也不知道也许是我多想了
I don't know. Maybe I'm being paranoid.
不你来找我是对的
No, no. You did the right thing coming to me.
解决这种问题一般有两种方法
There are two ways to approach this.
首先我必须得问
First, I have to ask,
这女人长得如何
what kind of shape is this woman in?
非常完美她是个尤物
Fantastic shape, she's gorgeous.
好吧那就只剩一种办法了
Ok. Now there's really only one way to approach this.
-你得尽快行动 -继续说
- You're gonna have to act fast. - I'm listening.
其实很简单
It's pretty simple.
当我察觉被威胁到时我会拉拢她
When I feel threatened by a woman, I pull her in.
把她当作最好的朋友
I make her my best friend.
我记得你曾说过你没任何女性朋友
I thought you said you didn't have any female friends.
我是没有
I don't.
可我也从未受到别的女人的威胁
And I've never felt threatened by another woman either.
但是重点是
But the point is...
-知己知彼 -百战不殆
- Keep your friends close... - Keep your enemies closer.
汤姆我们要办个晚宴
Tom. We're having a dinner party.
我打算邀请安娜贝尔
I'm thinking of inviting Annabel.
我不要搬家
We're not moving.
苏珊已经看出点端倪了伊迪说
Susan knows something. Edie said...
我不在乎伊迪说了什么
I don't care what Edie said!
我不会离开朱莉的
I'm not leaving Julie!
你要把我们的生命和未来置于危险之中
You wanna risk our lives, our future,
就为了这种短暂的校园爱情
over some... schoolyard crush?
不止这样朱莉她爱我
It's more than that. Julie loves me.
那她为什么不见你
Then why does she refuse to see you?
梅尔夫人骗了她
Mrs. Mayer lies to her.
不然的话她一定会和我在一起的
If it wasn't for that, she would be with me.
你确定吗
Are you sure?
-朱莉是个非常特别的女孩 -我知道
- Julie's a very special girl. - I know.
任何男孩都可能是她的囊中之物
She could have just about any boy she wanted.
你是个很优秀的孩子真的
I think you're a wonderful kid. I do,
只是扎克你并没有那么特别
but... you're not that special, Zach.
并没有
Not really.
-她吻了我 -最近吗
- She kissed me. - Lately?
我们去整理行装离开这里吧
Let's pack our bags and get out of here.
远离一切纷乱重新开始
Leave this whole mess behind and start over.
我保证还会有其他的女孩的
And there will be other girls, I promise.
不
No!
如果苏珊去报♥警♥ 我们就完了
If Susan goes to the police, it's over.
他们会把我带走
They'll take me away.
也会把你带走
They will take you away.
你还不明白吗
Don't you get that?
如果朱莉不再爱我了
If Julie doesn't love me anymore,
那其他根本不重要
then it doesn't matter.
一切都没有意义了
None of it matters.
麦格鲁德根本不知道发生了什么事
Oh, Mcgruder had absolutely no idea what was going on.
在整个拍摄过程中
During the entire shoot facial campaign,
他几乎一直握着本森的手
he was practically holding Benson's hand!
在伯纳姆如此嘲弄他一番后
After the way Burnham screwed him over,
我都替感到他害羞了
I'd be nervous too!
我的天这太糟了
My god, it was awful!
打扰一下我得清理一下桌子
Excuse me, I need to get in here so I can clear the plates.
-亲爱的需要帮忙吗 -不用
- Honey, you want some help? - I'm good.
看来我们有伴儿了
Oh... Looks like we got company.
伙计们现在不是该睡觉了吗
Hey, guys. Isn't it time for bed?
他们都没怎么见你
Oh, they never get to see you.
让他们在这儿呆一会吧
Let 'em stay up for a while.
好吧过来我想让你们见一个人
Ok, come here. I want you to meet someone.
这是福斯特小姐
This is Miss Foster.
她是你们爸爸很久很久以前的朋友
She's an old, old friend of your daddy's.
-你手上拿的是什么 -我们的画
- What you got there? - A picture we painted.
让我看看
Let me have a look at that.
这是我们和爸爸妈妈
It's all of us with mommy and daddy.
我们全家都非常幸福
We're really happy.
画得太好了
Oh, that is so adorable.
你们什么时候画的
When did you do this?
今天妈妈让我们画的
Today. Mom told us to.
我让他们画点好看的东西
I told them to paint something nice.
画什么是他们自己决定的
The sentiment's theirs.
是你让我们这么画的
But you told us to.
等等大人在说话
Hold on, grown-ups are talking.
画得真好
Well, this is really neat.
改天你们也帮我画张好吗
Hey, how would you boys like to paint my portrait one day?
好啊你这么漂亮