绝望的主妇

Desperate Housewives S01E01

Part 4 Oct. 22, 2019, 10:45 a.m.

难道我们就不能简单地吃顿饭
Can't we ever just have food?
-你嗑药了么 -什么
- Are you doing drugs? - What?
行为异常就是嗑药的表现
Change in behavior is one of the warning signs,
在此之前的
and you have been as fresh as
半年里你都很正常
paint for the last six months.
我想这就是
That certainly would explain
你经常躲在卫生间的原因
why you're always locked in the bathroom.
相信我他在卫生间可不是干这事
Trust me, that is not what he is doing.
闭嘴
Shut up.
妈妈有问题的不是我
Mom, I'm not the one with the problem here, all right?
你才是那个表现得
You're the one always acting like
像要竞选市长的
she's running for mayor of Stepford.
雷克斯作为一家之主
Rex... Seeing that you're the head of this household,
你得说些什么吧
I would really appreciate you saying something.
把盐给我
Pass thee salt?
葬礼过去三天后
Three days after my funeral,
勒奈特不再悲伤了
Lynette replaced her grief with a much more useful emotion.
而是愤怒
Indignation.
汤姆这是我第五次给你留言了
Tom, this is my fifth message,
可你还不回电♥话♥给我
and you still haven't called me back.
好吧看来你这次出差其乐无穷
Well, you must be having a lot of fun
我只能这样想了
on your business trip. I can only imagine.
我想我和孩子们也要出去玩玩了
Well, guess what -- The kids and I want to have some fun, too,
除非你在中午之前给我回电♥话♥
so unless you call me back by noon,
否则我们会坐飞机过来找你
we are getting on a plane and joining you.
妈妈
Mom.
现在不行我正威胁爸爸呢
Not now. Mommy's threatening daddy.
-妈妈 -不行
- Mom. - No, I...
-哥哥们呢 -面条我的最爱
- Where are your brothers? - Noodles, my favorite.
-勒奈特·斯加沃 -该死的
- Lyneettee Scavo? - Crap.
娜塔丽·柯莱恩真不敢相信
Natalie Klein. I don't believe it.
勒奈特我们多久没见了
Lynette. How long has it been?
有些年头了过的怎么样
Years. Uh, how are you?
公♥司♥还好吗
How's the firm?
很好大家都很想你
Good. Everyone misses you.
大家都说如果你不走的话
We all say if you hadn't quit,
现在肯定是老板了
you'd be running the place by now.
是啊
Yeah, well.
家庭生活怎么样
So... How's domestic life?
做全职妈妈感觉怎样
Don't you just love being a mom?
麻烦来了勒奈特最怕别人问这个问题
And there it was. The question that Lynette always dreaded.
说实话
Well, to be honest...
对于这个问题答案只有一个
For those who asked it, only one answer was acceptable,
所以勒奈特和往常一样说了谎
So Lynette responded as she always did. She lied.
这是有史以来最棒的工作
It's the best job I've ever had.
-知道我好奇什么吗 -什么
- You know what I don't get? - What?
你为什么要和索利斯先生结婚
Why you married Mr. Solis.
因为他能给我
Well... He promised to give me
任何我想要的东西
everything I've ever wanted.
-他做到了吗 -是的
- And did he? - Yes.
那你为什么不开心
Then why aren't you happy?
看来我得到的都不是真正想要的
Turns out I wanted all the wrong things.
那你爱他吗
So do you love him?
是的
I do.
那我们为什么还在这偷♥情♥
Well, then, why are we here? Why are we doing this?
因为我可不想某天醒来
Because I don't want to wake up one morning
想把自己的脑袋打爆
with a sudden urge to blow my brains out.
-我能抽根吗 -当然不行
- Hey, can I have a drag? - Absolutely not.
对你来说抽烟还太早
You are much too young to smoke.
如果我用你的抚养费去做整形手术
How would you feel about me using your
你觉得怎样
child-support payments for plastic surgery?
别那么紧张
Stop being so nervous. You're just
你只是约他吃饭没什么大不了的
asking him to dinner. No big deal.
你说的对
You're right.
那是你的作业吗
So is that your project for school?
五年级的时候
You know, when I was in fifth grade,
我用糖块做出了白宫
I made the White House out of sugar cubes.
别磨蹭了赶紧去
Stop stalling and go.
在麦克有更好的选择之前
Before Mike figures out he can do better.
我为什么要争夺你的抚养权
Tell me again why I fought for custody of you.
-你想气气爸爸 -说得好
- You were using me to hurt dad. - Oh, that's right.
天哪
Oh, god.
-嗨 -嗨苏珊
- Hi. - Hey, Susan.
你在忙吗
Are you busy?
不忙怎么了
No, not at all. What's up?
我只是在想
Well, I... I just, uh, was wondering if...
你是否有时间
...if there was any chance that you, uh...
我想问你
...I just wanted to ask if...
-伊迪 -嗨苏珊
- Edie. - Hey, there, Susan.
-你怎么 -我刚做了些食物
- What are you...? - I was making ambrosia.
不过我一个人吃不了
And I made too much so I thought
所以就拿过来和麦克一起分享
I'd bring some over to Mike.
怎么了
What's going on?
苏珊正打算问我什么
Susan was just going to ask me something.
-我家水管堵住了 -什么
- I have a clog. - Excuse me?
-你是个水管工不是吗 -是的
- And you're a plumber, right? - Yeah.
-水管里有东西堵住了 -是啊
- The clog's in the pipe. - Yeah,
通常问题都在那
That's usually where they are.
是啊就是这种情况
Well, I've got one.
好吧我去拿下工具
Ok. Let me get my tools.
现在就过去修理吗你这还有伴呢
Now? You want to come over now? You have company.
我不介意
I don't mind.
等我2分钟马上就过来
Just give me two minutes. I'll be right over.
就这样
That's it.
-赶紧用头发把它塞满 -我塞了
- Just stuff the hair down there. - I stuffed it.
-但还是不能堵住 -好吧
- It's not enough to clog it. - Here. Okay, look.
把花生酱也倒进去
Put in this peanut butter
还有烹饪油
and this cooking oil.
-妈妈 -还有这些橄榄
- Mom - And these olives.
妈妈我说了这些都没用
Mom, I'm telling you, it's not working.
我的天哪他来了
Oh, god. That's him.
我该怎么办
How am I going to stop up the sink?
好了问题在这里
Well, here's your problem.
看来有人把一堆冰棒棍子
Looks like somebody stuffed
扔了进来
a bunch of popsicle sticks down here.
我告诉朱莉无数次
I've told Julie a million times
不要在厨房♥打闹但是小孩都这样
not to play in the kitchen. Kids, you know.
好的我这就去做准备
All right, I'll go put in your orders,
马上把你们的饮料
And I'll be right back with your drinks
和装沙拉用的盘子拿来
and your plates for the salad bar.
谢谢
Thank you.
安德鲁丹妮尔摆好餐巾
Andrew, Danielle, napkins?
这儿有电视游戏
They have video games.
我们能过去玩玩吗菜上了就回来
Could we go play until our food gets here?
安德鲁这是家庭聚餐我想我们
Andrew, this is family time. I think that we should all
去玩吧
Go ahead and play.
也许你认为我不喜欢这种地方
I know that you think I'm angry about coming here,
其实不是
but I'm not.
你和孩子们想换个有趣点的环境
You and the kids wanted a change of pace,
我明白
something fun I get it.
说不定你们明天晚上
Probably we'll want
就想吃些健康点的食物了
something healthier tomorrow night, though.
我打算做些煎鸡肉卷
I'm thinking about chicken Saltimbocca.
我们离婚吧
I want a divorcee.
我实在不能忍♥受
I just can't live in this...
这种毫无瑕疵的生活
...this detergent commercial anymore
沙拉台就在那边请随便享用
The salad bar's right over there. Help yourself.
谢谢
Thank you.
我去帮你拿些沙拉
Um, I think I'll go get your salad for you.
-布里·范德坎普 -你好胡博太太
- Bree Van De Kamp. - Oh. Hello, Mrs. Huber.