绝望的主妇

Desperate Housewives S01E03

Part 5 Oct. 22, 2019, 10:45 a.m.

你呢
So how are you?
我刚刚回来
I just got back.
我出去了一整天
I've been gone all day,
收到你的邀请留言
and I got your messages about dinner,
我很高兴参加只要你还愿意的话
and, um, I would love to come if that invite still stands.
就这么定了
It's a date.
好的
All right. I, um...
穿休闲装行吗
assume the dress is casual.
好的就休闲装
Yeah. It's -- it's casual.
谢谢你帮我破门而入
Thanks for helping me break in.
你觉得把还能把那个纱窗还能还原吗
Do you think it'll be hard to replace that screen?
看情况
It depends.
如果你要自己钉你需要一副手套
If you nail it in yourself, you might want to wear gloves...
还有裤子穿裤子不会受伤
Or pants. Pants wouldn't hurt.
事实上我知道刚才的事很可笑
Okay, I know what just happened is funny in theory,
但是我还没有准备好把这当笑话来说
but I'm nowhere near ready to laugh about it,
所以拜托不要开玩笑
so please, no jokes.
你们两个去哪里了
Hey, where have you two been?
苏珊找不到衣服穿
Uh, Susan had a problem finding something to wear.
你说的是这意思吧
Oh, is that the kind of thing you meant?
差不多
Pretty much.
孩子们不停地在墙上弹来弹去吗
The kids are bouncing off the walls? Huh.
汤姆我想你有办法让他们去睡觉的
Well, I'm sure you can figure a way to put them to bed, Tom.
拜托汤姆他们只是些孩子
I mean, for god sakes, Tom, they're just kids.
你还好吗
Hey. Are you okay?
是的今天我去慢跑了
Yes, I-I went jogging today,
我觉得我太急于求成了
and I think I just pushed myself too hard.
你也许是没有穿对鞋
Oh, you're probably not wearing the right shoes.
是的我也是这么想的
Yea, that thought did cross my mind.
加布丽尔说你和布里
So Gabrielle says that you and Bree are
一周上三次课
taking lessons three times a week.
我也想有空重新开始练习
I'm actually thinking about playing again.
网球真的有益身体健康
I mean, it's such great exercise.
是的
Mm. That it is.
我的扣球技术需要好好调整一下
And my drop shot could use a serious tune-up.
你可以把你教练的电♥话♥给我吗
Think you can give me the number of your pro?
可以我一会给你
Yeah. I'll, uh, I'll give it to you later.
他在哪个俱乐部工作
Well, what club does he work out of?
我们并不是真的上网球课卡洛斯
W-We're not really taking tennis lessons, Carlos.
不是吗
You're not?
那只是编的故事
That's a story
布里编造出来掩盖事实
Bree concocted to cover the fact that
我们在看婚姻咨♥询♥
we're seeing a marriage counselor.
布里
Bree -- Bree...
他不停地打听网球教练
He wouldn't stop asking about the tennis pro.
布里和我在做婚姻咨♥询♥
Bree and I are in marriage counseling.
所有人都知道这个秘密了
Everyone knows our secret now.
天塌下来了吗
Did the sky fall?
你的生活被毁了吗
Has your life come crashing down?
请大家入座
If everybody would please take your seats,
晚餐马上就好
dinner is served.
伴随着每小时四英里的风速
With the winds from the northwest at 4 miles per hour,
现在的气温是摄氏五十五度
it's currently 55 degrees.
我们正在维斯布鲁克进行现场报道
Now we go to rich... live on the scene in Westbrook.
今天此地有个可怕的发现
A grisly discovery was made today in Westbrook
有人在岩水湖找到一个木箱
when a chest was found in Rockwater Lake,
是当地的一个商人
discovered by a local area businessman and
和他孙子钓鱼的时候发现的
his grandson while they were fishing.
调查员打开了这个木箱
Investigators recovered a wooden chest
里面似乎是人的遗骸
containing what appears to be human remains.
现在警方发言人说尸体是
Now, a police spokesman says the body was --
好啦我来说几句
Okay, I got to break the ice here.
你们在做婚姻咨♥询♥ 有什么大不了的
So you're in counseling. Big deal.
想知道什么才叫丢人吗
You want humiliation?
我来告诉你吧
I'll give you humiliation.
我把自己锁在了屋子外面
I locked myself out of my house
一♥丝♥不♥挂♥ 还被麦克堵了个正着
stark naked and got caught by Mike.
天啊什么时候的事
Oh, my god. When did this happen?
今天就在聚会之前
Today, right before the party.
我还能说什么来得早不如来得巧
What can I say? Right place, right time.
你们谁都没法和我比我曾经因为
I think I can top that. Try getting thrown
行为下流被人家从迪士尼乐园赶出去
out of Disneyland for lewd behavior.
你说什么什么时候的事
What? When was this?
那还是我和汤姆刚结婚的时候
When Tom and I were first married,
我们在疯狂大冒险那里有些把持不住
things got a little out of hand on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.
你开玩笑吧
You're kidding.
没有我们像罪犯一样走过美国小镇大街
No. We got perp walked down main street, USA.
好吧既然大家都在自爆糗事
Well, since we're doing true confessions,
我和卡洛斯曾经在坎昆弄坏了一张水床
Carlos and I once broke a waterbed in Cancoon.
你们是怎么做到的
How'd you manage that?
有段时间他超喜欢细跟高跟鞋
Well, he used to have a thing for spiked heels.
我要声明一下鞋穿在她的脚上
I'd just like to make it clear -- she was wearing them.
雷克斯每次射♥精♥之后都会嚎啕大哭
Rex cries after he ejaculates.
我们是不是走得太早了
You think we left too early?
我倒是觉得走得太晚了
I was thinking we left too late.
雷克斯就这样一走了之吗
So is, uh, Rex gone for good?
我也不知道
I don't know.
希望他还能回来
God, I hope not.
他们两个总是有些磕磕绊绊
I mean, they've always been wound a little tight,
可这样的场面我还是第一次见到
but I've never seen them like that.
不过话说回来我哪有资格评论人家
Then again, who am I to judge?
你是说你们同病相怜
You mean people who live in glass
因此不该相互嘲笑讥讽
houses shouldn't throw soda cans?
你要知道我只有在
Okay, you have got to know that I
面对卡尔的时候才会仪态尽失
only get that angry around Karl.
最后那段时间他对我简直差劲透了
He just treated me so badly at the end.
直到现在我都无法释怀
I haven't been able to get past it.
也许他也帮了你个大忙
Well, maybe he did you a big favor.
什么意思
What do you mean?
你可以把卡尔看作是起步婚姻
Let's look at Karl as a starter marriage
就像是新兵训练营那样
you know, boot camp.
为接下来更美满的婚姻做准备
Preparing you for something better next time.
听我说麦克
Listen, Mike...
有关我赤身裸体地被你撞见的事情我
About the whole seeing me naked thing, I...
我我只是想谢谢你
I don't -- I just want to thank you for
能够表现得如此绅士
being such a... perfect gentleman.
其实也没有那么绅士
Oh, I wasn't a perfect gentleman.
我好像偷偷瞄了一眼
I might have snuck a peek.
晚安
Good night.
我想做出的评价是
And, um, for what it's worth...
哇欧
Wow.
今晚过得怎么样啊
How was your night?
我们养的简直是小恐♥怖♥分♥子♥
We are raising little terrorists.
你知道的没错吧
You know that, don't you?
这么说你过得不好喽
Oh. You didn't have a good time?
一边去你别装蒜了
Okay, you know what? Drop the act.
我知道你给他们饼干了
I know you gave them cookies.
是谁告的密
Oh. Who cracked, anyway?
波特
Porter.
你的晚宴怎么样
So how was your, uh, dinner party?
吃得倒是还好不过不怎么开心
Well, there was dinner, but it wasn't much of a party.
怎么了
Uh-oh. What happened?
我也搞不懂
I don't know.
雷克斯宣布他和布里在进行婚姻咨♥询♥
Rex announced that he and Bree are in counseling.
她对他进行了报复
She retaliated with this whole revelation
至于细节我就不想说了
which I won't even go into now,
总之最后他气得要死离开了家
and the bottom line is he stormed out.
很明显即使是完美之家也会遇到麻烦
Clearly, there's trouble in paradise.
老实说我并不怎么惊讶
Honestly, I'm not that surprised.
为什么
Why not?