女子监狱

Orange Is the New Black S03E02

Part 4 Oct. 20, 2019, 9:01 p.m.

最好不包括这个培养出
Except for the part where the woman
一个叫黄胡的贩毒强♥奸♥犯的
who raised a drug-dealing
女人要收养我们的孩子的那部分
rapist named Pornstache adopts our child.
你曾经亲自抱过婴儿吗
Have you ever even held a baby?
换过尿布吗
Changed a diaper?
你想要让那个孩子
You wanna make that kid
和另外五个人一起住在猪圈里吗
live in a shithole with five other people?
他可以有自己的卧室
He can have his own bedroom.
你有过曾经独自一个人在房♥间里过一晚吗
Did you ever spend the night in a room by yourself?
那孩子能过上真正的生活...
That baby could have a real life...
有钱花
with money...
有干净的毛巾和各种东西
and clean towels and shit.
听着达娅和我过得很高兴
Look, Daya and I are happy, okay?
用不着毛巾就能做到
You don't need towels for that.
对吗
Right?
天杀的法尔扎德
God damn it, Farzad!
听着小伙子们跳舞才有趣
Look, it's only funny because the dudes are dancing.
而不是因为她懂吗
Not her. Understand?
不
No.
天啊
Jesus.
能不能请哪位帮我找个好点的穆♥斯♥林♥来
Can somebody please get me a better Muslim over here?
五分钟后再来一次姐♥妹♥们♥
Let's try this again in five, ladies.
别担心哥们
Don't sweat it, man.
这只是美国人消磨时间的方法罢了
This is just how Americans like to waste time.
我做的不好吗
Bad work?
你冒傻气冒得不好
You were bad at being stupid.
不过是件好事
That is a good thing.
你干得不错干得不错
You did good. You did good.
他们怎么了
What's wrong with them?
他们
Them, uh...
你们... 男生亲男生
You all, uh... boy-kiss-boy.
操这个小杂种
Fuck! This motherfucker...
我明白了
Yeah, I see that.
它就好像讽刺意味十足的神的惩罚
Ugh, it's like ironic divine retribution.
我们的洗衣机被自己的衣服卡住了
We're stuck in our own spin cycle.
这种纸衣服一直粘在我流汗的地方
This paper suit keeps sticking to my sweaty parts.
有一次我妈妈忘了给我买♥♥万圣节服装
Once, when my mother forgot to buy me a Halloween costume,
她把一叠旧报纸粘在我身上
she taped a bunch of old newspapers to me
说我应该告诉大家我是个杂♥志♥摊
and said I should tell people I was a newsstand.
你知道我们需要什么吗
You know what we need?
豆叶
Bean leaves.
我在为波特兰流浪者之家举♥行♥的
I got bedbugs at a sit-in
静♥坐♥抗♥议♥中染上臭虫
for a Portland homeless shelter.
情况很糟糕
The conditions were appalling.
我们用豆叶来诱捕臭虫再把它们扔掉
So we used bean leaves to trap the bedbugs and get rid of them.
我不知道豆子还长叶子
I didn't know beans grew on leaves.
当然了脱下来
Oh, yeah, take it off.
打扰一下卢斯奇克先生
Ooh! Excuse me, Mr. Luschek.
我们想提出正式申请要一些豆叶
We would like to make a formal petition for some bean leaves.
也许再要些其他的洗衣工具
And maybe some extra washers.
人或者机器哪个都行
People or machines, either one.
但一定要有豆叶
But really, bean leaves.
如果你再说一次豆叶
If you say "bean leaves" one more time,
我就狠狠朝你的洞来一拳
I'm going to punch you in the fuck hole.
指不定哪个洞
One of the fuck holes.
给你们弄些电扇怎么样
How 'bout some fans instead?
至少有两个还是好用的
At least two of them work.
全归你们了
All yours.
好吧队长
Aye, aye, Captain.
我不想看你的屁♥股♥受苦
Yeah, I wouldn't want to see you strain your ass,
就是坐在那桌子上
you know, sitting on that table.
如果这儿没那么热的话
I could probably think of a
我也许能想出一句机智的话回应你...
witty comeback if it wasn't so hot in here...
我不在乎你说啥
or I cared.
我希望你不是
Hey, I hope you're not
为女同的破事而来的
down here for any of that girl faggot shit.
你这样跟我说脏字的时候
Well, when you talk dirty to me like that...
我知道你一直像狗闻树一样盯着安琪
Yeah, I know you've been sniffing around Angie's tree.
你应该知道
And you should know
唯一能引起我性趣的蜜♥穴♥就是我自己的
the only soggy box that interests me is mine,
进出其中的东西只有鸡♥巴♥和棉条
and all that goes in it are dicks and tampons...
有时也有其他东西但只有男人能往里面塞
and sometimes other things, but only guys can put those in.
知道了
Noted.
话虽如此当你自称蜜♥穴♥的时候
Although, when you call it your soggy box,
还是弄得我很难抗拒
you know, it makes it really hard to resist.
为什么警卫们都开始穿真的制♥服♥了
Hey, how come all the guards get to wear real clothes?
我们不用穿纸衣服
We're exempt.
臭虫能区分开吗
Do the bedbugs know that?
我们的制♥服♥每天都是你们洗的
You wash our uniforms every day.
不是吧
Shit!
卢斯奇克
Luschek!
别在我的狗面前脱衣服啊
It's like undressing in front of my dog.
你们现在就给我把这些洗了
I need you to wash these right now.
等下等下等下
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
防困茶
Sleepy-time tea.
这喷喷那喷喷
Little spray here, little spray there
小内内里也要喷一喷
Little spray in my underwear
让臭虫们落荒而逃
Makes the buggies back off
让臭虫们怒火中烧
Makes the buggies piss off
让臭虫们远远滚开
Makes the buggies back way the fuck
远远滚开
Way the fuck off
这简直是坏主意中的泰坦尼克号♥
This is, like, the Titanic of bad ideas.
我们绕开了满是臭虫的航线
Like, we're steerin' out the way of bedbugs
又一头撞上化学灼伤的冰山
and crashin' into an iceberg of chemical burns and shit.
拜托我奶奶还用过消毒剂冲澡呢
Please. My grammy used to douche with disinfectant.
-诀窍在于想象臭虫 -用这种杀虫剂
- The trick is to imagine the bugs... - Lybol?
被你终结
...being bugged by you.
你不能泄露你的力量
You can't give away your power.
那你午餐时候还那么火爆
Like you almost did at lunch?
不能每次有人谈到维的时候
Look, you can't be getting' all
你都生气
crazy every time that somebody talks about Vee.
但你听见那荡♥妇♥说什么了吗
But did you hear that slattern?
三头阴♥茎♥ 简直不可接受
Look, that business about a tri-penis, unacceptable.
我的警告
That warrants...
是对她严酷的回应
a severe response.
你用叉子搞过白人了该解气了吧
Man, you fuck up an ofay with a spork, you angry enough.
才不换做是维就会支持我
No, Vee would have defended me
反之亦然
if vice were versa.
就算是真的然而显然并不是
Okay, even if that was true, which it definitely is not,
你离被人罚去精神病区
you're one shot away from
就差一个处分了
being a puddle of black drool in the psych.
你应该好好检讨下自己
You need to check yourself.
-滚吧 -你是打算
-Back off. -Did you mean...
把那个喷在身上吗
...to spray that on your skin?
是啊
Yes.
可是通常来说
Because in general,
当瓶子上写着"小心"和"警告"的时候
when a bottle reads "Caution" and "Warning,"
用在身上可能不是个好主意
it might not be the best idea.
你看看
Man, see?
我就说这是个馊主意吧
I knew this was a bad idea,
都怪你让我用什么祖传清洗法
you telling me to clean with your grandma's douche.
谁家祖传用消毒剂洗澡
Someone's grandma douches with disinfectant?
在药出现之前它就是药
Man, this was the pill before there was a pill.
它比避孕套便宜
It's cheaper than condoms
还能让你的蜜♥穴♥闻起来有柠檬香
and make your coochie crack smell like lemon fresh.
我是认真的这可是好东西
I'm for real. Look that shit up.
那它可能不太管用因为
It couldn't have worked too well because,
你是这么喷的
you know, well, you're here.
各位
Man, uh...
厕所什么时候变这么干净了
When did our bathroom become gentrified?