女子监狱

Orange Is the New Black S07E01

Part 1 Feb. 16, 2020, 9:30 a.m.

内莉为我绘制了占星图作为出狱礼物
As a get-out-of-prison gift, Neri had my astrological chart done.
或者她是从网上下载的
Or she downloaded it from the Internet.
不管怎样她认为
Either way, she thought
这能让我加深对自己的了解
it might give me some insight into myself.
我是双子座的
I'm a Gemini.
双子座在拉丁语里的意思是"双胞胎"
In Latin, Gemini means "twins."
所以我天生就具有双面性对吗
So there's this inherent duality to me, right?
如果你相信这一套的话
If you believe this shit.
抱歉
Sorry.
双子座是风象星座
Gemini is an air sign.
我们的幸运金属是水银
Our metal is quicksilver.
-不好意思 -这边是下行的蠢蛋
- Sorry. - This side is going down, dummy.
我知道我是个大蠢蛋
I know. I'm a big dummy.
双子座的幸运色是黄色
A Gemini's lucky color is yellow.
和我一天出生的人的其中一个负面特征
One of the negative traits of people with my birthday
就是我们往往在个人自♥由♥和爱情束缚间
is that we're often stressed and torn
倍感压力犹豫不决
between personal freedom and ties of love that hold us back.
但从积极的一面来看
But on the positive side,
我和连姆·尼森的生日是同一天
I have the same birthday as Liam Neeson.
你们好
Hi, guys.
我带了炒空心菜回来
I brought home pak boong.
和牵牛花差不多很快我就能熟练掌握泰语了
That's morning glory. I'm gonna be really fluent in Thai soon.
至少是泰餐菜单上的泰语
At least Thai menu Thai.
我不能肯定这是纯素食...
I'm not completely sure it's vegan...
因为他们所有菜里都加鱼露
because they do put fish sauce in everything,
但绝对是蔬菜为主的
but it's definitely vegetable-forward.
你们想现在就尝尝还是我先放到冰箱里
Do you want some now or should I put it in the fridge?
来吧古道尔快便便你能行的
Come on, Goodall. Make a poo-poo. You can do it.
我先放到冰箱里好了
I'll put it in the fridge.
帕波我们拜托过你
Piper, we've asked you to please
不要把不能生物降解的外卖♥♥盒带回家
not bring home non-biodegradable takeout containers.
我们是零废弃物家庭几乎是
We are a zero-waste house. Almost.
我听进去了请看
And I heard you. Ta-da.
没事的
It's okay.
我的生日塔罗牌是战车
My birthday tarot card is the Chariot.
如果战车牌是正位的
If the Chariot card is presented upright...
代表着你可以享受努力的成果
it's a signal to enjoy the fruits of your efforts.
"你做到了孩子现在该庆祝了"
"You've done it, kid. Time to celebrate."
也许我们该试试用温水冲脚那招
Maybe we should try that running-warm-water-on-the-feet thing?
不不那是尿尿用的
No, no, that's for pee-pee.
我们是想让她便便她露出了便便表情
We're trying to get her to poop. She gave us poop face.
-我是说... -我先去睡了
- I mean... - I'm gonna head to bed.
是大是小我们都没意见吧
wouldn't we be happy with either one?
祝你们的婴儿厕所顺利...
Good luck with the infant potty...
-晚安帕比 -开张
- Good night, P. - situation.
可能迷惑她
It might be confusing.
我们应该让她选定一种的不是吗
I think we're supposed to get her to pick one, aren't we?
也许我们应该再看一遍那个油管视频
Maybe we should watch the YouTube again?
关键字是什么来着
What were the key words?
对排泄沟通法
Yeah, elimination communication.
或是那个带口音的女士《无尿布技巧》
Or the, um, the lady with the accent. The Nappyless Technique.
大家好我是桑迪
Hi, I'm Sandy.
这是《无尿布生活》第三集
This is episode 3 of Nappy-Free Life.
今天我们要聊一聊...
Today, we're going to talk about...
二位你们能记得周三前备好
You guys, could you remember to pick up vegetable oil
车用植物油吗
for the car before Wednesday?
我非常感激你们都非常非常有魅力
I'm very grateful and you are all very, very attractive.
-周三吗 -是的
- Wednesday? - Yes.
我的假释官终于批准了记得吗
My probation officer finally gave me permission, remember?
我要去探望我老婆
I'm gonna visit my wife?
天呐我喜欢这么说
God, I love saying that.
不行周三不行
No. Wednesday's no good.
周三古德尔要看医生我们要用车
Goodall has the doctor on Wednesday. We need the car.
没错健康检查
That's right! Wellness visit.
谁在遵循西医的方案是你
Who's following the protocols of Western medicine? You are.
现在快尿尿吧
Now make a pee-pee.
等等不是说是便便吗
Wait, I thought we agreed on poop.
我们不是刚说好要便便吗
Did we not just agree on poop?
天啊你说得对便便对不起我太累了
My gosh. You're right. Poop. I'm sorry. I'm so tired.
但你说过我可以用车
But you said that I could use it.
叫优步怎么样优步还是很差吗
How about taking an Uber? Is Uber still bad?
-我记不清了 -还是很差
- I can't remember. - Still bad.
我不能叫优步我连房♥租都付不起
I can't take an Uber. I can't afford to pay you rent.
你觉得我有叫优步去奇菲尔德监狱的钱吗
You think I can afford to take an Uber to Litchfield?
要知道其实
You know, uh, actually,
我想跟你谈谈关于房♥租的事
I wanted to talk to you about the rent thing,
因为我们本可以用那间卧室开民宿的
because, you know, we could be Airbnb-ing that room.
谁会来杰克逊高地度假
Who's vacationing in Jackson Heights?
这你就想不到了
You'd be surprised.
这周围的民宿每晚最高能收62美元呢
I mean, they can go for up to $62 a night around here.
我不明白你为什么不去求助老爸
I don't know why you won't just ask Dad to help you out.
因为我打给他的电♥话♥都直接转入语♥音♥信箱了
Because my calls go straight to voicemail?
我真的很需要用车
I was really counting on the car.
便便了便便出来了
Shit! We have shit!
干得好
Good job!
太棒了
Yay!
干得好
Good job!
该死
Shit.
我也爱你大高个
Love you, too, Stretch.
娱乐时间列队开始娱乐时间
Rec time. Line up for rec time.
我没有你要的东西墨菲给我让开
I got nothing for you, Murphy. Get out of my way.
但是你有你自己都不知道
But you do. And you don't even know it.
你看这周末
See, there's this
科尼岛要举办一个吃热狗大赛
hot dog-eating contest in Coney Island this weekend.
我哥哥周三要过来是凯尔不是肖尼
My brother is comin' through on Wednesday. Kyle, not Shawnie.
我不会把我的探视时间给你
I'm not giving you my visitation time.
这可是我哥哥
It's my brother.
这可是我老婆
It's my wife.
你老婆
Your wife.
我一点都不想念她
Not missin' that one.
我的新室友也许是个暴脾气恶棍
I mean, my new bunkie might be an angry thug,
但她很安静而且放的屁还没帕波一半多
but she's quiet and she ain't half as gassy.
也许你们这么恩爱
Maybe that marriage of yours is working out so well
就是因为你们不用住在一起
'cause you don't got to share a room.
你为什么不去抢你的狗腿子的探视时间
Why don't you steal a time slot from one of your lackeys?
我现在不就在抢吗
Isn't that what I'm doin' here?
如果我现在揍她的脸
If I punched her in the face right now,
把她的鼻子揍瘪
just sucker-punched her nose into her brain,
我要承担怎样的后果
how much would that cost me?
操我跟帕波保证了我会守规矩我要守规矩
Shit. I promised Piper I'd be good. I'm being good.
不排队就不能去院子里
If you're not in line, you're not going to the yard.
也许你应该揍我一顿沃斯
Maybe you should take a poke at me, Vause.
这样你就会被记过看哪
Then you'd get a shot and, lo and behold,
探视时间就有空档了
a spot would open up in visitation.
或者你会因为做别的事而被记过
Or maybe you'll get a shot doin' somethin' else.
上帝之意总是神秘莫测
The Lord works in mysterious ways.
你还是投降吧上帝特别眷顾我
Might as well give in now. God friggin' loves me.
我要毒品
I want drugs.
给你讲个故事怎么样
How about I tell you a story instead?
我有很多精彩的故事
You see, I got these great stories.
你会回来的人类都是故事迷
You'll be back. Humans are narrative junkies.
你们有毒品吗
You all got drugs?
我要毒品
I want drugs.
你有毒品吗
Do you have any drugs?
谢谢你靓女
Thank you, mamacita.
把眼珠塞回眼眶里
Put your eyes back in your head.
宝贝我只是在物色顾客
Baby, I'm only scopin' out customers.
放松在我眼中她只是点钞机中的钞票
Relax. That's just a ding for the cash register.
你知道你是老爹的女人
You know you're Daddy's girl.
你好朋友今天是你的幸运日
Hello, my friend. Today is your lucky day.