女子监狱

Orange Is the New Black S03E01

Part 7 Oct. 20, 2019, 9:01 p.m.

你是电工真是太走运了
You are so lucky you are in electrical.
想让我陪你不
Listen, you want my company or not?
我想啊快坐下
Yes, I do. Sit her down.
看看这一团糟
Look at this shit, right?
我是说看看这些该死的小孩
I mean, look at this, with these fuckin' kids.
到处都是
Oh, they're everywhere.
我讨厌小孩
I hate kids.
他们不喝酒不到处旅游
You know, they don't drink, they haven't traveled.
里面很脏你最好憋着别喘气
It's nasty in there. You might wanna hold your breath.
能和你聊两句吗
Hey, can I talk to you?
我是说我可以等你上完厕所
Um, I mean, I can wait till you're finished.
你和歌♥洛丽娅搞的那个符咒
This mad juju that you and Gloria do...
管用了吗
how does it work?
我真的很想念一个人
I'm really missing someone.
孩子会和我们一起住吗
Is the baby gonna live with us?
再说吧
We'll see.
"再说吧"
"We'll see"?
这算什么屁话
What the fuck is that?
我可是要当姨妈了
I'm gonna be a tía.
你们好
Hi, there.
玩得开心吗
Everyone having fun?
我有个关于母亲节的笑话
Um, I have a Mother's Day joke.
为什么电脑这么聪明
How come computers are so smart?
因为它们都听母板的
It's 'cause they listen to their motherboards.
听懂了吗他们这么称呼...
Do you get it? That's what they call the--
电脑里那个平板似的东西
It's the board thingy in the computer.
所有的电路都连接到那里
I think it's, like, what all the circuits are... attached to.
它的名字是母板因为
It's motherboard, 'cause-- -
好了不管怎么说...
All right, well, anyway, have a...
祝你们下午过得愉快
have a great afternoon, so...
本尼特狱警咱们得谈谈
CO Bennett, let's chat.
你什么时候才能学会离人家远点
When are you gonna learn to leave well enough alone?
我们只是在聊天
We were just talking.
我帮了你一个大忙把这档子破事掩盖起来
I do you a solid and sweep everything under the carpet,
你却非得再翻出来
and you go around lifting up the corners.
快来人啊看我藏了什么东西
"Hey, everybody, look, look. Look what I got under here."
长官恭敬地说一句
Okay, respectfully, sir,
我确定你是在帮你自己一个忙
I'm pretty sure you did yourself a solid.
你以为你是这里唯一一个被犯人诱惑的人吗
You think you're the only one ever to be tempted by an inmate?
你以为我从来没看过
You think I never saw a
坐在我的办公室哭得梨花带雨的女人
tight piece sitting in my office chair crying,
泪水打在她卡其色的奶♥子♥上
tears covering her khaki-covered tits,
心想"真想跟她来一发"
and thought, "I could bend that over my inbox"?
一个不检点的人会把这地方
A lesser man would be using this place
当作他私人专属的打炮圣地
as his own personal pussy smorgasbord,
各种肤色体型尺寸应有尽有
every fucking color, shape, size.
不出州北就能享受全世界级的性体验
Around the world without ever leaving upstate.
但我不是个不检点的人
But I am not a lesser man.
当精虫上脑的时候你知道我怎么做吗
When those feelings come on me, you know what I do?
请别告诉我
Please don't tell me.
我他妈自己解决
I take care of my fucking self.
-明白我的意思么 -是的我明白
- Do you know what I'm saying? - I'm pretty sure I do.
我自己打飞机本尼特
I spank it out, Bennett.
看在上帝的份上我建议你也这么做
And for the love of Pete, I suggest you do the same...
像自古以来那些正直的男人们那样
like decent men have been doing since time immemorial.
我和迪亚茨之间不只是性的关系长官
Me and Diaz, it's about more than sex... sir.
离她远点好吗
Just stay away from her, okay?
骗炮真可怜
Poor, deluded fuck.
你说什么
What'd you say?
我觉得不太舒服今天是母亲的节日
I mean, I just feel bad because it's her day, you know?
她只能坐在车里我却在这儿
And she's just sitting in the car while I'm here.
我不是故意让你妈妈不开心的
I didn't mean to steal your mom's day.
我不需要另一个妈妈
Yeah, well, I don't need another mother.
我明白
I get that.
你和那位牧师相处得怎么样
So, how are things with the good pastor?
他让妈妈感到幸福吗
He makin' your mom happy?
我想是的
Yeah, I guess.
你呢你还他合得来吗
How about you? Gettin' along?
他教我怎么刮胡子
Well, he taught me how to shave.
他怎么说的
What'd he say about that?
他教你从上往下按毛发生长方向刮吗
He tell you to go down, shave with the grain?
不他说往上逆着刮
No, up and against the grain.
这样不对
That ain't how you do it.
他是这么告诉我的
Well, that's what he told me.
我更清楚
Well, I know better.
你是想听一个
Now, who you gonna listen to,
只刮脸的人的意见
someone who just shaves
还是一个刮遍全身的人呢
his face or someone who shaves everywhere?
那好恶心
Ew.
你觉得那个小孩有我的宝贝女儿可爱吗
You think that baby over there is cuter than my girl?
拜托
Ay, please.
你家的小公主最漂亮了仅次于我的
You have the prettiest bebecita here, after mine.
可不是么
I know.
看看她
Ay, look at her.
她看起来吓坏了
She looks terrified.
她会慢慢接受的
Oh, she'll come around.
有什么事会比有个孩子更美妙的呢
I mean, what's more beautiful than having a baby?
孕育新的生命
Making a life?
他们小脑袋的气味
The smell of their heads,
还有睡着的时候把所有重量依托在你身上
the way they put their whole weight on you when they fall asleep.
她会爱上这种感觉的然后就没事了
She's gonna fall in love, and then she'll be fine.
姐们你衣服上沾了点东西
Ay, chica, you got a little something on your shirt there.
-这是啥尿还是屎 -闻起来像屎
- What is that? Piss or shit? - Oh, it smells like shit.
我的天太恶心了
Oh, my God! This is so disgusting!
来给你抱好了
Here, take it! Take it!
太恶心了
So gross!
我拿这个小孩怎么办
Hey, what am I supposed to do with this baby?
把她交给我姐
Give it to my sister!
好了真是够了
Okay, this is gettin' ridiculous.
兔崽子们往后站
Kids, stand back.
-这里面没糖 -糖呢
- There's no candy. - Where's the candy?
-里面是空的 -我的天
- It's empty. - Oh, my God.
这简直是他们生命的象征
This is such a metaphor for their lives.
你没把糖放进去吗
Didn't you put it in?
不是我的活儿
I wasn't supposed to put it in.
难道是我的吗天呐可能还在车里呢
And I was. Oh, jeez. It's probably still in the van.
现在拿也没用了没办法塞进去
Well, no point getting it now. There's nothing to put it in.
我去拿吧
I'll take it.
除了他不清楚怎么剃须这件事以外
So, aside from the fact that he don't know how to shave,
我很高兴能有个男人陪你
I am kind of happy you have a man around.
他会给你关于女生的建议吗
Does he give you advice about girls and stuff?
关于女生他的建议是...
His advice about girls was...
"等结婚再学不迟"
"Wait until marriage."
上天啊可不是么
Good Lord, one of those.
你想要些实际点的建议吗
Now, you want some real advice?
从我的第二任母亲还是前任父亲的角度
From my second mom or my used-to-be dad?
以前的男人给现在男人的建议
From former man to current man.
我像你那么大时我爸爸说
Now, when I was your age, my dad told me,
"找个没有安全感的女孩练练手
"Find a real insecure girl and practice on her.
那样等遇到自己真正喜欢的姑娘
That way, when you meet a girl you really like,
就会很在行了"
you'll be good at it."
你真想在男人都是那样的世界当女人吗
And you really wanna be a lady in a world where men do that?
上帝保佑我想
God help me, I do.
你那里也不会紧了
And you're never tight again.
是能练回去一点但是...
I mean, you could work it back a little, but...
撑大以后再也不会和之前一样了
it's never the same after you've torn that shit up.
打喷嚏的时候还会蹦出点尿来
And you'll always pee yourself a little when you sneeze,
而且再也睡不着了
and you never really sleep again.
你能说点好处吗
You got anything good to say about it?
我就是想让你做好准备
I just want you to be prepared.