摩登家庭
Modern Family S10E13
Part 4
Nov. 25, 2019, 7:19 p.m.
这才是你该教给孩子们的
I mean, that's what you should be telling these kids.
是啊 我本来是想这么跟孩子们说的
Yeah, that's what I was going to tell these kids --
去你的 塔克
Damn it, Tucker!
我的霸气姿势维持不了这么久
I can't hold my alpha power stance this long.
我的小腿要抽筋了
My calves are starting to cramp.
好吧 首先
Okay, well, first of all --
不 省省吧 明白吗
No, can it! Okay?
你以为能用低大学申请率埋葬我
You thought you could bury me by killing college applications,
是不是
didn't you?
我这就去收拾和别人共用的那半张桌子
I will clean out my half of the desk that I share.
不 我很抱歉 这都是我的错
Oh, no, it's -- I'm so sorry. T-this is-this is my fault.
我在工作上试着乖乖合作
I tried to play ball at work.
还没必要地烤了很多蛋糕
There was a lot of unnecessary baking.
重点是 是我给了他这些想法 所以...
The point is, I-I put these ideas into his head, so...
所以你如此软弱 没有信念
So you're so weak and without conviction
某人向你提议一些蠢主意
that somebody suggests some stupid idea to you
你甚至不想想看 就抛弃所有价值观
and without even thinking, you just abandon all your values
像廉价的扇子一样任凭人折来折去
and fold like a cheap Chinese fan, huh?
是的 先生 我是只应声虫
Yes, sir. I am a worm.
这正是我要找的特质
That is exactly what I'm looking for.
完全不会威胁到我
No threat to me at all.
恭喜你 正式副校长塔克
Well, congratulations, permanent Vice Principal Tucker.
-真的吗 -真的
- Really? - Yes.
谢谢您 我爱您
Thank you! I love you!
我也爱你
I love you, too.
当务之急 去弥补你刚才的过失
Now, first order of business -- fix what you did here.
你要为我摘下金苹果
You are gonna give me a Golden Apple.
我们俩可是稳定伴侣
We are in a committed relationship!
不不不 这不是一回事
No, no, no. It's not the same thing we saw at
不是胡娇单身汉派对上那种
Pepper's bachelor party.
一种同性恋间的特殊玩法
用淋湿一个苹果后再塞入伴侣后♥庭♥
-不是吗 -不是
- It's not? - No.
和所有人吵了一整天后
After fighting with everybody all day,
我开始思考 或许 是我犯浑了
I was starting to think maybe... I was the jerk.
所以最后我回到老办公室
So I ended up back at the old office, you know,
试图搞清楚我究竟是为什么
trying to figure out what it was about going to work there
热爱去那里工作
that I loved so much.
恭喜
Congratulations.
你被普里契特衣柜 百叶窗及水床雇用了
You've been hired at Pritchett's Closets, Blinds, and Waterbeds.
我是杰·普里契特
I'm Jay Pritchett.
欢迎成为团队一员
Welcome to the team.
听到了吗
You hear that?
他们已经在为你欢呼了
They're cheering for you already.
我们这里很珍视一个品质 那就是团队合作
That's something we value here -- teamwork.
无论你是销♥售♥部还是运输部
And whether you're in sales or shipping
或是可爱的文职人员之一
or one of those cute tomatoes in the steno pool,
你都很重要
you're important,
因为在这我们是一家人
'cause we're family here.
等一下 这个新雇员是谁
Wait a minute! Who's this new employee?
是我 克莱尔 爸爸
It's me -- Claire, Daddy.
没错 是克莱尔
Oh, right! It's Claire!
手真灵巧
Nice hands.
难怪我们公♥司♥的垒球队永远赢不了球
Reminds me why our softball team never won a game.
看看是谁从高级总部办公室跑出来了
Look who they let out of the fancy corporate office.
你老婆有没有突然醒悟离你而去
Hey, that wife of yours get smart and leave you yet?
她真的离我而去了 这段日子很艰难
Eh, actually, she did. It's been rough.
我们不知道 我太抱歉了
Oh. I -- We didn't know. I'm so sorry.
你们这些傻瓜 我逗你们玩的
Ah, you mutts, I'm screwing with you!
她能去哪
Where's she going?
我知道我爸心里有疙瘩
I knew my dad was going through something,
当我在旧办公室看到他的车时
and when I saw his car at the old office,
就过来确认他状态如何
I-I stopped by to check on him.
你羞吗 克莱尔
Are you feeling shy, Claire?
是啊 我想是有点
Yeah, I guess I am a little.
你几岁了
How old are you?
你说得对 我就直说了
You're right. Just come out and say it.
我担心我们把公♥司♥卖♥♥了让你不开心
I'm worried that you're unhappy we sold the company
并且你觉得这是我的错
and you're blaming it on me.
你又有你要去拉粑粑的那个表情了
You're making that face like you have to go potty.
我很焦虑
I'm anxious and --
你怎么能看到我的表情啊
How can you even see my face?
她是我女儿
She's my daughter.
她认为这里她说了算
She thinks she runs the place.
你还说他不会干呢
You said he wouldn't do it.
没错 老子干了
You're damn right, I did it.
老大永远都是老大啊
Boss is still the best, huh?
老爸想"家"了
My dad was homesick.
杰 你的屁♥股♥可真上相啊
That is one photogenic butt, Jay.
你带回家吧 让你在家还能继续拍马屁
Take it with you. You can kiss it at home, too.
-大家好啊 -你来啦
- Hey, guys. - Hey.
-老爸 -你怎么来这里啦
- Hi, Dad. - Hey, what are you doing here?
我看到你的车嘛
I, uh, saw your car.
听我说
Look...
我知道你最近在工作上有点不顺心
I know you've been frustrated at work lately.
不用担心这个啦
Don't worry about that.
但你新工作上挺顺利的吧
You're doing great, though, huh?
是啊 我还挺喜欢的
Yeah, I kind of love it.
但我不能只顾自己不顾你啊
But it doesn't feel right if you hate it.
老爸 这合作我们是可以甩头就走的
Dad, we can bail on the whole thing.
你知道我真正该甩开的是什么吗
You know what I need to bail on?
是甩开像桃子般的自己
Being such a little peach.
-什么 -一磕碰就坏嘛
- What? - They bruise easily.
我记得有这种说法 但无所谓啦
It could be an expression. I don't know.
重点是当我在这里时 我更能与人接触
The point is, when I was here, I reached out more.
我录了与别人问候的视频
I made videos greeting people.
建立起了真正的感情
I built real relationships.
刚才那三个人 我能记住其中两人的名字呢
Those three guys -- I knew two of their names.
我想或许我该试着多向你学习
I think maybe I need to try to be a little bit more like you
给这个新合作一个机会
and give this new thing a chance.
其实他们也没那么糟啦 只要你习惯了...
You know, they're not so bad when you get past the --
他们的嬉皮士胡子还有都是手汗的握手
the hipster beards and the sweaty handshakes.
跟我说说那个打印男 爱德华多
Tell me about that printer guy, Eduardo.
3D打印到底是什么鬼
What the hell is 3-D printing anyway?
你在试着学习呢
Look at you trying.
老爸
Oh, Dad!
3D打印就是用三种激光
Okay, 3-D printing is when you take three lasers
你可以扫描任何你想要的事物
and you can scan any object you want.
然后...
You --
你想3D打印你的屁♥股♥对吧
You want to 3-D print your butt, don't you?
你想要他们喜欢我不是吗
We want them to like me, don't we?
好了 宝贝跟小伙伴玩得开心
Okay, baby, have fun at your play date.
我两小时后来接你
I'll pick you up in two hours.
你能相信我现在是个模特了吗
Can you believe I'm a model now?
疯狂世界啊
Crazy world.
再见啦 小伙子
See you, buddy.
-宝贝再见 -妈妈再见
- Bye, baby. - Bye, Mom!
天啊 我真为这孩子高兴
Gosh, I'm so happy for that kid.
是啊 我们一直这么说
Yeah, we keep saying that.
我觉得自己好傻啊
I feel, uh, silly I got so invested
为永远不会有人看到的商场海报投入灵魂
in modeling for some mall poster no one's ever gonna see.
你想感觉好一些吗
You want to feel better?
我带你去看个东西 看完之后
I'll show you something that is gonna make me
我保证会比你更显可悲
look more pathetic than you do.
我说的只是"傻"吧 但...
I think I said "silly," But, um...
行啊
yeah, okay.
那是我20年前拍的
That was me 20 years ago.
很棒啊
That's amazing.
所以你不开心的原因是什么啊
But what are you so upset about?
你现在还是跟当年一样美啊
You're just as beautiful now as you were then.
我知道啦
Aww. I know.
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