摩登家庭

Modern Family S10E09

Part 1 Nov. 25, 2019, 7:19 p.m.

搞什么鬼
What the hell?
我的天他把妈的旧车也拖来了
Oh, my God. He brought Mom's old car?
要知道那玩意再适合迪迪不过了
You know, that thing was perfect for Dede --
又吵又偏左
loud, pulled way to the left,
还总在公共场合抽风
and constantly broke down in public.
我前妻迪迪两个月前去世了
My ex-wife, Dede, died two months ago,
她丈夫杰瑞把她想留给我们的破烂
and her husband, Jerry, drove down with a bunch of junk
都拉了过来
she wanted us to have.
我一直很喜欢杰瑞
I always liked Jerry.
那你为什么总用奇怪的眼神看他
Then why did you always look at him funny?
因为我知道他所面临的悲惨命运
Because I knew what he was in for.
我看人们登上泰坦尼克号♥的录像时
Same way I look at the footage of those people
也是那种眼神
boarding the Titanic.
杰这是给你的
Jay, this is for you.
老天爷那是她的灰吗
Oh, God. Is that her?
不不不这是你们度蜜月时
No, no, no. Apparently this is a jar of sand
从迈阿密海滩带回的沙子
from your honeymoon in Miami Beach.
是啊当时我们住在枫丹白露酒店
Oh, yeah. We stayed at the Fontainebleau.
猜猜我们在电梯里遇到了谁
‭Guess who we took an elevator with?
杰基·格利森[演员]
Jackie Gleason.
我告诉他我们才在《蜜月期》
I told him we were the honeymooners,
他开玩笑威胁道要把迪迪揍到月亮上去
and, as a joke, he threatened to punch Dede to the moon.
笑点在哪
Why is that funny?
我就是这个意思哪里好笑
Well, that's my point. It wasn't right.
克莱尔你妈想把她的旧跑车留给你
Claire, your mom wanted you to have her old sports car.
太好了
Oh, great.
米奇尔她的珠宝给你
And Mitchell, you get to keep her jewelry.
这么说克莱尔得到了跑车
Oh, so Claire gets a car,
而我得到了一盒子绿松石
and I get a, uh, box of turquoise.
你想交换吗
Want to trade?
不这样挺好的
No. No, it's fine.
我家有个"不到十三岁的少女"
I have a preteen girl at home,
"她"喜欢玩扮装游戏
and she likes to play dress-up.
再说莉莉或许也会喜欢
And, you know, Lily might like it, too.
米奇尔克莱尔迪迪想让你俩决定
Mitchell and Claire, Dede wanted you two to decide
谁把她带回家
who gets to keep her.
抱歉杰她没把你包括在内
Sorry, Jay. She left you out of this one.
别担心杰瑞我有沙子就够了
No worries, Jerr. I'm good with the sand.
等等你说"把她带回家"是什么意思
Hang on. Uh, what do you mean, "Gets to keep her"?
那就是迪迪
That's Dede.
我们把她的骨灰和根垛有机融合在一起了
We had her ashes organically fused with the root ball.
太像老妈的风格了
That is so Mom.
是啊最后还要留样东西让我们争
I know. Setting up one last thing for us to fight over,
因为我们谁都不想要那棵树
because neither of us want that tree.
因为我们都想要那棵树
Because both of us want the tree.
什么
What?
轻松解决
That was easy.
酷
Oh, cool.
看外婆把她家的旧玩具箱留给我们了
Look. Nana left us her old toy box from her house.
保佑她那颗有囤积症的心
Aww, bless her hoarding heart.
还记得我过去总躲在这里
Remember how I used to hide in here
像吓人的怪物一样跳出来吗
and pop out like a scary monster?
那时我还有那么多潜能
I had so much promise back then.
能震动的棍马
A stick horse that vibrates?
我一直搞不懂用意
I never got the point.
我说不好
I don't know,
但我记得过去一"骑"就是好久
but I remember spending hours riding on it.
我也是
Same.
快看这个艾丽克斯
Oh. Lookie here, Alex.
你最大屈辱的根源
The source of your greatest shame --
我能解开但你解不开的积木拼图
the puzzle that I solved but you never did.
谁在乎
Who cares?
当时我们都是蠢小孩
We were just dumb kids.
不
Uh, no.
我们才是蠢小孩
We were dumb kids,
而你是小天才
and you were the genius.
那肯定让你寝食难安吧
That must eat away at you.
拜托
Please.
我是名牌大学的尖子生
I'm top of my class at a prestigious university,
我和别人共同发明了一种
and I co-invented a technology
应用于天体物理学和医学的技术
that has applications to astrophysics and medicine.
把那该死的积木拼图给我
And give me that damn puzzle!
我的天是露露
Oh, my God, it's Lulu!
她曾是我最喜欢的玩具
She was my favorite toy.
我猜我只是很想念外婆
I guess I-I just really miss Nana.
我还怀孕了
Also I'm pregnant.
迪兰和我还没告诉任何人
Dylan and I haven't told anyone
因为我还在努力接受这个事实
because I'm still trying to get my head around it,
可抱着露露让一切变得那么真实
but holding Lulu made it so real.
我就要有一个活生生的宝宝了
I'm gonna have an actual baby.
我压力好大
Aah, I'm so stressed!
我真希望现在还是五十年代
I wish it was the '50s
那时人们还认为怀孕时喝酒抽烟
when it was still healthy to drink and smoke
不会不健康
when you're pregnant.
我等不及翻新这台宝贝了
I cannot wait to restore this baby.
高中时欺负我的恶霸就有一台
My high school bully had one.
你肯定想不到这车能跑多快
You'd be surprised how fast this thing can go.
能轻松追上骑着单车
No problem catching up with a kid on a bike
提前十分钟离校的孩子
who left school 10 minutes early.
我不确定我希望车♥库♥里
I don't know if I want another
又多一件慢慢生锈的半成品
half-finished project rusting away in the garage.
我放弃机器割草机的唯一原因
The only reason I stopped working on robot lawnmower
是因为它开始变得太聪明了
was 'cause he started getting too smart.
别这样亲爱的我们留着吧
Come on, honey. Let's keep it.
它让我想起我妈能有多疯狂
It reminds me of how crazy my mom could be.
什么样的老妈会有这样的车
I mean, what mother has a car like this?
这样如何我们开出去兜一圈
How's this? We take it for one drive.
假如回来时你脸上没有笑容
If you're not smiling by the time we come back,
我们就不要了
we get rid of it.
-只兜一圈 -只兜一圈
- One drive? - ‭One drive.
-只兜一圈 -只兜一圈
- One drive. - ‭One drive.
她过去总把我和米奇尔
Ugh, she used to double-buckle me and Mitchell
一起绑在副驾
into the front seat.
再加上她自♥制♥的电热毯
Between that and the homemade electric blankets,
我俩还活着简直是奇迹
it's a wonder we're still alive.
怎么请了水管工
What's with the plumber?
乔又把海王玩具冲下马桶了吗
Did Joe flush his Aquaman down the toilet again?
不我那些亲戚离开时
No. When my cousins left,
告诉我客房♥没有热水
they said that the hot water in the guest bedroom was not working.
水管工刚才说一切正常
The plumber just said that there's nothing wrong.
是有人把热水关了
Someone turned it off.
八成是乔
Probably Joe.
我们要怎么罚他
So, what are we thinking?
一周不准约小朋友来家玩
No play dates for a week?
我知道是你关的
I know it was you.
你想让他们走就把他们冻走了
You wanted them gone, and you froze them out.
我不承认有做过
I'm admitting nothing,
但你说你的一个亲戚会来这里住一天
but you said one cousin would be here for one day,
结果三个人在这里住了一周
and there were three here for a week.
我才没说过
I never said that.
为什么杰瑞还在这
Why is Jerry still here?
是啊肯定出什么事了
I know. Something must be wrong.
他像个受伤的小老头一样坐在车里
He's sitting in the car like a sad little man.
我们得让他进来坐坐
We have to go and invite him in.
别别别他总会走的
No, no, no, no. He'll move off eventually.
歌♥洛... 周四的街道清扫会扫走他的
Glor-- Street sweeping is Thursday.
杰瑞你还好吗
Jerry, is everything okay?
你的车需要人帮忙推一把吗
Yeah, does your truck need a push?
这就是最该死的地方
It's the darnedest thing.
我好像开不走了
I can't seem to drive away.