摩登家庭
Modern Family S10E19
Part 1
Nov. 25, 2019, 7:20 p.m.
小声点 你会吵到莉莉
Shh! You'll wake Lily.
你是有多醉啊
How drunk are you?
我跟你说三次她出去校外旅行了
I told you three times she's on that school trip.
你要是不这么小声说
I'd feel more confident
-你的话会更有说服力一点 -你说得合理
- if you weren't also whispering. - Fair point.
你... 你擦了口红吗
Are -- Are you wearing lipstick?
我是擦了指甲油吗
Am I wearing nail polish?
我们算是出去疯了一晚
So, we kind of had a crazy night out.
本来一开始只是
It started off at this little
去一家我听人说的隐秘地下酒吧
under-the-radar speakeasy I heard about.
他网上搜了"我家附近的酷酒吧"
Uh, he Googled "Cool bars near me."
反正呢 我们遇到了一帮20岁小年轻
Anyway, we met a group of 20-somethings
大家相谈甚欢
that took a shine to us.
他们带我们进入了地下派对
They introduced us to the world of underground parties
与一杯鸡尾酒要18块的世界
and $18 cocktails.
-真的是太烧了 -是燃
- It was so burnt. - Lit.
-太燃 -燃
- Lit. - Lit.
我们去的这些酒吧 有半数我都记不得了
I don't even remember half these bars.
我们昨晚还去了医院吗
Did we go to a hospital last night?
塔克奶奶的招牌解宿醉秘方
Okay, Grandma Tucker's hangover remedy --
在你的舌下放小块黄油 把脖子往后仰
put a pat of butter underneath your tongue, tip your head back,
我把辣酱往你鼻子灌
and I'll pour the hot sauce up your nose.
等等等等
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
-是宾克发来的群短♥信♥ -什么
- That's a group text from Binker. - What?
-是的 -天啊
- Mm-hmm. - Oh, my gosh.
大伙们今晚还想再一起去派对呢
The gang wants to get back together and party tonight.
你还说他们看到我们
And you said we'd never hear from them
在丹尼酒吧灯光下的丑样后 就会断绝联♥系♥
after they saw us in that horrible Denny's lighting.
我们的回应得百分百恰到好处
Okay, we have to play this exactly right --
不能显得自己死命想巴着人家
We don't want to come off too eager,
但又得让他们知道我们愿意一起嗨
but we also want to let 'em know we're down to mob.
-要亲命了 -小卡 你知道我们的规矩
- Oh, my God. - Cam, you know our rule,
绝对不连续两晚出去野
we never go out two nights in a row.
-我知道 但这是... -我们今晚还要去
- Yeah, I know, but this is... - We're already pushing it
听系列讲座呢 这已经算很勉强了
by going to that lecture series tonight.
什么系列讲座
What lecture series?
美储联主席首席助手的讲座
Alan Greenspan's top aide.
我们买♥♥了季票 因为我们想要最好的座位
We bought the season pass so we'd get premium seating
去听"幽默作家弗兰·拉伯维治的讽刺之夜"
to "A Night of Sarcasm with Fran Lebowitz."
大家都要去呢
Oh, everyone's in.
还用了不同肤色竖拇指 年轻人就是反歧视
Look at all those thumbs of colors. They're so woke.
"我们不去 下次见"
"We're out. Catch you next time"?
米奇尔
Mitchell.
你怎么可以这样
How could you?
小声点暴走 别吵醒莉莉了
Storm out softly. You'll wake Lily.
早啊 老婆 别在意我这一身加州理工装备
Morning, honey. Don't mind all the Caltech gear.
我只是想给艾丽克斯惊喜 带她去吃午饭
I figured I'd surprise Alex at school and take her to lunch.
学期末这时候你要去给她惊喜吗
Surprise her? At the end of the semester?
亲爱的 她应该在忙于各种期末考之中吧
Honey, she's probably in the middle of exams.
她绝对会...
She's gonna be...
欣喜若狂
thrilled.
你有看过自己的录像 是你在观看时
Have you ever seen a video of yourself
才发现自己当时没意识到穿着有多难看吗
wearing something you didn't realize was unflattering?
我最近有了这样的经验
Well, that happened to me recently, and...
而难看的是我的性格
it was my personality.
千百年来 人类一直渴望能像
For centuries, man has longed to rule the air
伟大的飞鼠般掌握腾空的能力
like the majestic squirrel.
一切将在今日终止
The wait ends today.
不行
Nope.
那如果我们...
Uh, but what if we --
-一样没卵用 -妈
- Doesn't matter. - Hey, Mom.
我戴这个是好看的对吧
I can pull this off, right?
让我来帮你调整
Let me. Oh.
我们不在家
Ah, we're not home.
我决定要不那么负面
I made a decision to be less negative.
这是崭新的我 对一切都说"好"的女人
It's the new me, the girl who says "Yes."
朋友周末去墨西哥玩 在帮忙看
Friend went to Mexico for the weekend.
我还在拿捏那个平衡点
I'm finding the level.
好帅啊 像《迈阿密风云》里似的
Crockett and Tubbs, you look snazzy.
谢谢... 你的话是称赞吧
Thanks... I think.
我在试着打扮自己
I'm trying to step up my game.
我最近开始跟工作认识的一个人交往
I started seeing someone from work.
亲爱的 我觉得呢
Oh, honey. I don't know
跟工作认识的人交往感觉不太...
if I think that's such a good idea that --
没事没事 我赞成
Never mind. I approve.
如果我妈知道事情的全部 我不信她会同意
I doubt my mom would approve if she knew the whole story.
泳池工
Pool boy.
我这里需要新毛巾
I need more towels.
女士 马上来
Right away, ma'am.
搞定 我刚同意了另一个设计
Done. I just approved another design.
世界上最豪华的狗窝
The most luxurious dog bed yet.
我称它为...
I call it...
狗窝之巅
The Top of the Bark.
真好啊 你现在可以在家营运新公♥司♥
Ah, that's nice that you can run your new company at home
就能穿着只能在家穿的衣服了
in clothes that you can only wear at home.
当男人到了某个年龄后
When men get to a certain age,
他们就不再在乎外表
they stop trying.
我看过这情况了
I've seen it before.
先从服装开始
First, it starts with the clothes,
然后是身材 最后是脑子
then the body, then the brain.
但我不能跟杰提任何一点意见
But I can't say anything to Jay,
因为每当提到他的外表问题
because when it comes to his appearance,
他总是格外敏感
he's very sensitive.
亲爱的 我回来啦
Mi amor, I'm back.
欢迎回来
Welcome home.
你不喜欢 对吧
You hate it, right?
我去剃了 就是个笑话
I'll shave it. It's a joke.
我个傻♥逼♥
Stupid!
日安 各位
Good dawning, all.
我眼前的这是什么
What am I looking at?
兽医担心你会咬自己吗
Is the vet worried you're gonna bite yourself?
这是传统的都铎式领子
It's a traditional Tudor collar.
我请求加入学校的伊丽莎白时代社团
I'm pledging my school's Elizabethan Society,
这是他们要求的入团羞辱仪式
and I have to wear this as a hazing ritual.
我觉得还行啊
I don't hate it.
我觉得这让你的脑袋看起来
I think it makes your head
像是那种高档饼干之类的
look like one of those fancy cookies.
我还得背诵几段莎士比亚的独白
I also have to recite several Shakespearean monologues
然后给学校食堂加一点下流装饰
and festoon our dining hall with some bawdy bunting.
这年代的羞辱仪式是怎么回事
What happened to hazing?
以前都是很爷们的玩法 你懂的
It used to be macho stuff, you know,
比如让人从你的肚脐眼喝烈酒
like making a guy drink a shot out of your belly button
大学兄弟会的入会仪式常伴有羞辱性质的挑战
但通常不会有杰说的那么基味十足
或者是大家屁♥股♥夹着橘子传来传去
or passing an orange around only using your butt cheeks.
这可是学校里最难进的社团之一
Look. It's one of the most selective groups on campus.
我不想话说太早触自己霉头
I don't want to jinx it,
但一周之后 我很有可能就在学习
but a week from now, I could be learning
秘密小步舞曲的舞步了呢
the steps of the secret minuet.
这就是学校消灭校园霸凌的后果
This is what happens when you eliminate campus bullying.
杰 你觉得如何
Jay, what do you think?
我们去好餐厅吃顿午饭
We'll go out for a nice lunch,
稍微打扮一下
dress up a little bit.
这感觉是在攻击我啊
This feels like an attack.
我最多也只能婉转到这个地步了
All right, that's as gentle as I can go,
我是哥伦比亚人 不是加拿大人
I am Colombian, not Canadian.
我刚收到俱乐部寄来的电邮
I got an e-mail from the club.
一些老人要在周间早晨占用我们的高球练习场
The older players have taken over the driving range
来练习室外地滚球
for bocce weekday mornings.
那又怎么样啦 你们可以晚点再打高尔夫啊
So what? You can play golf later.
不行 我们有一个群组
No, we got a whole group --
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