摩登家庭
Modern Family S10E17
Part 4
Nov. 25, 2019, 7:20 p.m.
我来搞定
I'll handle this.
卡尔 我要借用你的漆弹枪
Carl, I'm taking your paintball guns!
让开 否则我打爆你们
Move! Or I move you!
我的哥伦比亚魂果然还在
I do still have my edge!
好棒
Yes!
你能加入我的漆弹队伍吗
Will you join my paintball team?
那是什么玩意
What is that?!
小黄人雷区 典型的西格玛招数
Field of Minions. Classic Sigmas.
别被他们的可爱分心
Don't get distracted by the cuteness.
我们只剩下五分钟
We only have five minutes.
直接绕过它们
Just go around them.
天啊 我做到了
Oh, my God, I did it!
你们都还在车上 没人被甩出去
And you're all still in the car!
好了 我们不能让他们找到借口
Okay, now, we can't give them any reason to say
说披萨没按订单制♥作♥
that we didn't fill the order perfectly,
赶快检查披萨 确保配料没移位
so check the pizzas, make sure they didn't shift.
海莉 我觉得你多虑了
Oh, Haley, I'm sure you're worrying about nothing --
卡尔 你有披萨切片器吗
Carl, do you have a pizza slicer?
只有一个我为公♥司♥服务十年得到的纪念切片器
Only the commemorative one I got for 10 years of service.
给我 我脑中有画面了
Give it to me. I have a vision.
奥尼尔和亨德里克斯从没能突破自身弱点
Shaq and Hendrix never got past their blind spots.
也许是因为他们不够渴望
Maybe they didn't want it enough.
想把九个披萨变成十个 很简单
Turning 9 pizzas into 10 was a simple matter
只需从每个披萨切走一片
of removing one slice from each pie,
然后将剩下的披萨
then trimming off a V-shaped portion of pizza
每片都切走一小块V型
from each of the remaining slices,
把切片从36°角变为40°角
turning them from 36-degree angles to 40-degree angles,
再把所有40°角的切片
then putting together the 40-degree angles
拼成九个小了一圈的披萨
into nine slightly smaller pies.
之后 再用一开始切出的九片披萨
After that, one had only to repurpose
拼出第十个披萨
the nine previously removed slices into a 10th pie.
十个
And...10!
成功了
It worked!
真的成功了
It really did.
我果然有图像式脑子
I do have a visual brain.
这就是你纠结的事吗
That was your thing?
我真不怀念有白人烦恼
I do not miss having white-people problems.
到了 我成功了
We're here! I did it!
得在一分钟之内把披萨送进屋 走吧
We only have a minute to get the pizzas inside. Let's go!
等一下 等一下 兄弟会有可视门铃
Oh, wait, wait, wait! Uh, the frat has a video doorbell.
他们如果看到是外卖♥♥ 就会拖延到超时
If they see it's a delivery, they try to run out the clock.
我来搞定
I'll handle this.
靠那边站
Stay on that side.
什么事
Yeah?
你好
Hi. Um...
我是A大的 人家醉得不行了
I go to U of A, and I'm super drunk.
你们有地方借我醒酒过夜吗
Is there a place where I can sober up for the night?
至少老娘的脸还足够美艳 能进入兄弟会的房♥子
At least my looks can still get me into a frat house.
好了 各位 上啊
Okay, guys, go, go!
十个披萨准时送达
10 pizzas on time.
付钱
Pay up!
你们跟卡尔是一伙的吗
You guys with Carl?
我们就是卡尔
We are Carl.
来吧 快点 愿赌服输
Come on, hurry up! A bet's a bet!
我就说我能比你们金鸡独♥立♥更久
I told you I could stand on one leg longer than you!
你是唯一一个喝完一大杯威士忌后
You're the only one whose balance gets better
平衡感反而比喝之前更好的人
after drinking a jug of whiskey.
好啦 我的粉丝一定会喜欢这画面
All right. My follower is gonna love this!
大家说"茄子"
Everybody say "Cheese!"
-茄子 -很好
- Cheese. - Yes.
好啦 这就是建立起自我品牌的方法
Okay, now, that is how you build a brand.
看来我们应该继续把剩下的威士忌喝完
Well, I guess we should kill the rest of this whiskey.
那杀人魔来的时候我们请人家喝什么啊
But then we'll have nothing to serve the murderers when they arrive.
虽然你漫不经心开玩笑
You know, you joke,
但你语气里暗藏着某种偏执妄想
but you have a certain paranoia about you.
这... 背后到底是什么原因呢
What -- What's behind that?
这个嘛...
Well...
我们要听到米奇尔心中的"熊"了吗
Ooh! Are we about to hear about Mitchell's bear?
好吧 其实是...
Uh, okay. It -- It's, um...
我没有跟任何人说过 但是...
I've never told anyone this, but, uh,
有个算命师曾经预言
a fortune teller once predicted
我活不到46岁的冬天
that I would not live to see my 46th winter.
是以前我们家隔壁的那个疯子吗
Was that that kook that used to live next door to us?
她是神经病啊
She's nuts.
她还说过你妈有一天会赢托尼奖呢
She told your mother she was gonna win a Tony one day.
美国剧场界最高荣誉
但她也预言对了其他很多事情啊
But she was right about a lot of other things.
她说我会变成律师
She said that I'd become a lawyer.
她还说我有一天会跟一个小丑结婚
She said that I would marry a clown one day.
当时听到我可是笑了好久
Laughed a long time about that one.
为什么要笑
Why?
总而言之 我内心的"熊"
Anyway, I-I guess my "Bear"
大概就是害怕英年早逝吧
is the fear of dying young.
如果那个算命师算得准
Uh, I mean, if that fortune teller's right,
那我只剩三年能活了
I only have three more years to live.
你知道吗 按我来看
Well, y-you know what? The way I see it,
这个小小的诅咒是上天的礼物
this little curse is actually a gift --
让你有理由充分享受人生
a reason to live life to the fullest.
也不给自己留下遗憾
And have no regrets.
行 大家都相信并接受我活不过46岁了
Okay, so we're all just accepting this 46-year thing as true?
我们能理性看待它
We've made our peace with it.
你也应该这样
And so should you.
为什么不在你有限的日子里
Why not just live your limited days
做到心中不藏着任何话
with leaving nothing unsaid?
对你最在乎的人说出你的感受
Tell the people who matter the most how you feel.
我每天都跟你与莉莉说我爱你
I tell you and Lily I love you every single day.
的确 那对菲尔呢
True. What about Phil?
他今天早上也有发短♥信♥给我说"爱尼"
He did text me with a "Love ya" this morning.
也能算数
Close enough.
那你♥爸♥爸呢
And your dad?
你不是吧
Seriously?!
对他开口说这个词很难嘛
I just have a hard time saying that word to him.
我个人对此也没有意见
Which is fine for the both of us.
好吧 感觉起来
Okay, well, it sounds like
你也羞于说出这个词
you might be uncomfortable with that word, too.
才没有 我对这词没任何问题 我整天说
No! I don't have a problem with it. I use it all the time.
我整天都有在说我爱什么东西
I'm always saying I love things. I --
我爱穿上用微波炉热过的温暖袜子
I love the feel of toasty socks out of the microwave.
我爱听远方火车汽笛的声音
I love the far-off sound of a train whistle.
会感觉"他们又去哪里冒险啦"
You know, "Ooh! What adventure have they gotten off to?"
我还爱看婴儿伸懒腰
I -- I love watching a baby stretch.
杰 这些都是你生活中的美好事物 但...
Those are all good things in your life, Jay, but...
你的"熊"是什么
what's your "bear"?
我没有啊
I don't have one.
别这样 我们都说出自己的了
Oh, come on! We all told you ours.
等你们活到我这个岁数
Now, when you get to my age,
人生中能让你害怕的事物就越来越少了
there are less things that you're afraid of.
除了或许...
Except maybe...
自己变成家人的累赘
being a burden to your family.
而这已经开始发生
Which is starting already,
因为歌♥洛莉亚逼你们来照顾我
because Gloria forced you guys to babysit me,
这也是为何我执意要在此过夜
which is why I wanted to spend the night here
好证明自己不是... 脆弱的糟老头
so I could prove I'm not some...frail old man.
但如果要我实话实说
But, if I'm being honest,
每年爬上来都感觉比前一年更累了
that hike gets tougher for me every year.
我今年也庆幸我不是自己一个人爬
And I was relieved that I didn't have to do it alone.
老爸
Oh, Dad.
你永远不会是累赘
You could never be a burden.
对啊 你才是总是照顾着我们大家的人
Yeah, you're the one who's always taking care of all of us.
我们很乐意有机会照顾你
We'd love the chance to return the favor.
好啦 时间晚了
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