摩登家庭
Modern Family S10E06
Part 1
Nov. 25, 2019, 7:19 p.m.
我不记得家里有买♥♥新鲜的蜜桃小翘臀啊
I don't remember buying these fresh peaches.
抱歉 瑟奇
Apologies, Serge.
我妻子克莱尔似乎忘记了
My wife, Claire, seems to have forgotten
我在家里办公
that I'm holding office hours
让房♥地♥产♥入门课的学生来学习
for my Intro to Real Estate class here at home.
所以我十分钟前
So, when I walked to the laundry room
只穿着文胸进洗衣房♥时...
10 minutes ago in my bra...
时机倒是再合适不过了
That was kind of perfect, actually.
我刚给他讲完 七十年代早期的"建筑"
I had just made a point about how buildings from the early '70s
至今仍出人意料地"坚挺"
were holding up surprisingly well.
或许我该...
So maybe I'll...
-是啊 -是啊
- Yeah. - Yeah.
上课时见 伙计
All right, see you in class, buddy.
多好的孩子
What a great kid.
这就是我献身学术界的原因 克莱尔
That's why I chucked it all for a life in academia, Claire.
这感觉太特别了
It's a special feeling
知道这世界某处有个年轻人
knowing that there's a young man walking around out there
是你帮忙打造他的品格 能让你骄傲
who you helped mold, who you can be proud of.
-爸 -你懂吗
- Hey, Dad. - Hey. You know?
你起得真早
You're up early.
你这话什么意思
What are you talking about?
刚才我还从背后抱你来着
I hugged you from behind earlier.
我说"我不记得家里有买♥♥六块腹肌[啤酒]啊"
You know, I said, "I don't remember buying this six pack."
然后你用很搞笑的东欧口音说
Then you did that funny Eastern European accent --
"我不想惹麻烦
"I don't want trouble.
我只想学习"
I just want to learn."
我们是否该担忧一下集体性骚扰瑟奇的事
Should we be concerned about group-molesting Serge?
而且你不是再少一个学生
And aren't you at the minimum number of students
-课程就会被取消吗 -不必担心
- before they cancel your class? - Not to worry.
瑟奇很崇拜我 班上其余同学也很靠谱
Serge worships me, and the rest of the class is super solid.
再说 过了今天就不准弃课了
Plus, it's the last day to drop classes anyway.
说到弃课
Oh, speaking of that,
我在考虑放弃历史课
I'm thinking about dropping history.
-为什么 -我觉得很无趣
- How come? - It's not really exciting me.
再说 有份大论文今天该交
Plus, we've got this huge paper due today
我的开始动工计划还没结束
that I haven't quite finished starting.
要写门罗主义
It's on the Monroe Doctrine.
门罗主义
The Monroe Doctrine?
糟糕
Oh, no.
大三历史课
Junior year history class,
我写了一份完美的论文
I wrote the perfect paper.
强力的论点 无可挑剔的辅助论证
Strong thesis, impeccable supporting arguments.
我引用了一位白宫侍从的信件
I quoted from the letters of a White House footman
他回忆道 门罗在浴缸中叫他
who recalled Monroe calling to him from the bath,
"博勒加德 把我的马裤给我
"Beauregard, fetch me my breeches.
我想到了一个主义"
We have a doctrine!"
我只得了C
I got a "C."
你认为这成绩合理是吗
Oh, so you agree with that grade, huh?
别把我当小孩哄
Don't patronize me.
俱乐部的饮食变得清淡健康多了
The food at the club has gotten so much lighter and healthier.
好几个人心绞痛连续发作
We had a run of angina attacks,
所以我们不得不重视心脏健康
so we had to go heart-healthy.
我们在同一个周末先后失去了
We said goodbye to our social chairman, Herb,
社交主席贺布和黄油喷泉
and our butter fountain in the same weekend.
我很遗憾
Oh, I'm sorry.
普里契特先生
Hey, Mr. Pritchett.
您随时可以结账了
I'll take this when you're ready.
-谢谢你 玛利亚 -玛利亚
- Thank you, Maria. - Oh, Maria,
很美的名字 所以常被歌♥唱
that's a beautiful name. That's why it's often sung.
但你不会唱的
But you're not going to --
♪万福玛利亚♪
♪ Ave Maria ♪
谢幕 行了 他们刚允许同性恋进门
And curtain. Okay, they just started letting gays in here.
别让他们后悔
Don't make them regret it.
你或许也该告诉夏罗娜[歌♥名]
You might also wanna tell Sharona
-不要靠近这张桌子 -没错
- to steer clear of the table. - Yes.
反正我或许也该留着精力
Yeah, well, I should probably save my energy
为今晚的演出做准备
for my performance tonight anyway.
见鬼 歌♥洛莉亚和我买♥♥了票要去看...
Oh, darn. Gloria and I have tickets to, um...
别担心 杰 不用你去看
Don't worry, Jay. It's-it's not for you.
太好了 我还真编不下去了
Oh, good. I didn't know where I was going with that.
今晚是莉莉学校的募捐演出
Tonight is a fundraiser at Lily's school.
我们在为孩子们募捐
We're, you know, raising money for the kids.
歌♥唱与小品之夜
A night of song and sketch.
所有孩子爸爸都要演出 或者说
All the dads are performing. Well...
大多数爸爸
most of the dads.
为你骄傲 儿子
Proud of you, son.
我也不是彻底的胜利
Ah, it's not a complete victory.
我还是得去看的
I still have to watch it, so...
多谢你请客吃早饭 爸
Thanks for breakfast, Dad.
我喜欢和你们俩共度时光
I love spending time with you two!
我每个月在俱乐部有最低消费
Every month I've gotta burn off a minimum at the club,
而我认识的每个人居然都没空
and literally, everybody else I knew was busy.
这也是为什么我送出的好多生日礼物
That's also why I give a lot of birthday presents
都是俱乐部专卖♥♥店买♥♥的 马克杯
from the pro-shop. You know, mugs
遮阳帽 上面印着"跟我的推杆说去"
and visors that say "Kiss My Putter,"
"挑逗我 小鸟球"
"Talk Birdie To Me."
都是好产品 双赢
Quality items. Everybody wins.
假如你们不着急的话
So, if you're not rushed,
该去我们的水疗享受一下
you should treat yourself to our spa.
去试试看...
You know, get a couple of, uh...
标准按♥摩♥套餐
a couple of standard treatments.
你真慷慨
Oh, well, you're so generous.
我想说 我们圣诞时送你的这件衬衫
Might I say you look very handsome
你穿着十分精神
in that shirt we gave you for Christmas.
这款还有"皇后珊瑚粉" 糟糕
They also make it in "Queen's coral" -- oh, no.
我是不是剧透了你的生日礼物
Did I spoil your birthday?
听起来是的
Sounds like you might.
-什么事这么好笑 -不过是
- What's so funny? - Oh, it's just that
我和学校的一个孩子妈互通电邮
I've been e-mailing this mom at school.
我和她一起做志愿者
We both volunteer together.
-你发电邮 -没什么的 听着
- You-you e-mail? - It's harmless. Listen.
"杰 在天文馆和你说笑很开心
"Hey, Jay, enjoyed laughing around the planetarium with you.
你的笑话能把人笑到天外"
Your jokes were out of this world."
好吧 假如没有什么
Hm, okay. So, if it's so harmless,
歌♥洛莉亚肯定也知道这位妙语撩骚的女士
I'm sure Gloria knows about this flirty quipstress.
别添油加醋
Don't make something out of this.
我的天
Oh, my God.
所以他才穿了这件衬衫
That's why he's wearing the shirt.
因为它能衬托出你的蓝眼睛
Because it makes your blue eyes pop.
我不会让你们俩八婆把这潭水弄浑
I'm not letting you magpies dirty this up.
"把车停在秋千那
"Park by the swings
好帮你把东西拿进来"
so I can help you carry stuff in."
"把车停在秋千那
"Park by the swings
好帮你把东西拿"进"来"
so I can help you carry stuff in."
你们这是抹黑 我走了
You're sullying this, and I'm leaving!
-向你女朋友带好 -她不是我女朋友
- Okay, well, say "Hi" to your girlfriend. - She's not my girlfriend.
我们俩会配成一组的唯一理由
The only reason we're paired together
就是因为我们的孩子在同一个阅读小组
is because our kids are in the same reading group.
去你们的
Damn it!
我太喜欢我们的"哦哟哟"了
I love when we "Ooh."
以前我们经常这样 后来不了
We used to do that all the time, and then we stopped.
-为什么 -我不知道
- Why? - I don't know.
乔
Joe!
为什么我在垃圾桶里
Why did I find your eye patch
-发现了你的眼罩 -我不知道
- in the garbage? - I don't know.
因为你又去扔了一张停车罚单吗
Were you throwing away another parking ticket?
你必须戴上
Okay, you have to put it on.
为什么 我的弱视已经好了
Why? My lazy eye is fixed.
好啦 有我在呢
Okay, I'm over here,
再坚持一周
and it's only one more week.
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