摩登家庭

Modern Family S10E16

Part 3 Nov. 25, 2019, 7:20 p.m.

15683.
-停 -下一个镜头
- Cut. - ‭Moving on?
不
N-no.
不你全没记住
No, that wasn't right at all.
我很肯定我没记错
Um... pretty sure it was.
菲尔
Phil.
你得把词全说了
You've got to do the whole thing.
是的当然
Oh, yes. Yeah, of course.
是啊
Yeah.
从头开始
Back to one.
准备
Ready, and...
开拍
action.
谢谢
Thank you.
克莱尔多谢你过来
Claire! Thanks for coming in.
我是本这是我兄弟埃文
I'm Ben. This is my brother, Evan.
我们老爸就是内德叔叔
Our dad's Uncle Ned.
不过我们只叫他爸
But we just call him Dad.
你能来我们很高兴
We are so happy you're here.
多谢你们邀请我
Well, thank you so much for having me.
不得不说这里真好闻
And can I say -- it smells amazing in here!
是饼干的香味
It's the cookies.
是啊
Yeah.
从财政上讲
We are so very impressed
我们对贵衣柜公♥司♥的业绩十分钦佩
with what your closet company has done, fiscally speaking.
说句公道话公♥司♥是我爸创立的
Well, to be fair, my dad is the one who built the business.
这点我们很有共鸣
We can relate to that.
但我们是指在你加入后
But we mean since you joined.
人们都说公♥司♥是从那以后真正发展起来的
Many people are saying that's when it really took off.
能得到认可真好
It is so nice to be recognized.
我认为这家公♥司♥有巨大的发展潜力
I-I see tremendous growth potential in this company.
我们也这么认为
We think so.
但得靠优秀的船长驶舵才行
That is, with the right captain steering the ship,
从财政上讲
fiscally speaking.
所以我们预备为你提供丰厚薪水
Which is why we're prepared to offer you a big salary,
股票什么的
stock stuff...
你想吃多少饼干就吃多少
And all the cookies you can eat.
我没想到进展会这么快
I didn't expect this to be going so fast.
其实我们时间不多
Well, we're kind of on a clock.
你瞧国税局说我们的一些账目
You see, the IRS has called some of our bookkeeping...
"赤♥裸♥裸地违法"
"Flagrantly illegal."
怎么会发生这种事
How could that happen?
我们正指望你来告诉我们原因
We were hoping you could tell us.
我们对生意一无所知
We don't know anything about business.
-从财政上讲 -是的
- Fiscally speaking? - Yeah.
没错
‭Exactly.
那些都是我们老爸在管
That was kind of our dad's thing.
还有生产啊销♥售♥啊那些玩意
Also, making them, selling them, all that other stuff.
为明确起见二位的职务是...
Just to be clear, what are your roles here?
我们过去负责尝饼干
We used to taste the cookies,
但现在我们是董事局主席了
but now we're chairmen of the board.
我懂了
I see.
作为董事长我们有法律义务告诉你
As such, we are legally bound to mention
我们和食药管理局有点情况
a little situation we have with the FDA.
都怪埃文
Thanks to Evan,
有个"毛发百万分比"总检测不合格
we keep failing something called the "Hairs-per-million test."
由于我们父亲被录下影像证据
And due to the videotaped evidence against our father,
我们需要一位你这样的高素质女性
we need a highly qualified woman such as yourself
在国会面前作证
to testify in front of Congress.
二位这一时让人很难接受
Uh...guys, this is a lot to take in.
我想我们知道你这话什么意思
Well, I think we know what that means.
是啊
Yeah.
欢迎成为内德叔叔的一员
Welcome to Uncle Ned's.
无论你是单身汉夫妻或一夹人
Whether you're a bachelor, a couple, or a flamily --
"一夹人" 我刚才说的是"一夹人"
"flamily" -- I just said "flamily."
等等是"一夹人"吗
Wait, is it "flamily"?
好吧
All right.
我们从这句开始
Let's just take it from,
"这是现代加州生活的最高水准"
"This is modern California living at its finest."
开拍
And action.
这是现代加州生活的最高水准
This is modern California living at its finest.
停你又变成英国口音了
Stop! You're doing the British accent again.
我没听出来
I'm not hearing it!
开拍
And action.
您将享有最先进的
You'll have state-of-the-art...
电气用具
appliances --
抱歉我能行
I'm sorry. I got this.
想象一下从这个视角看到的生活
Imagine life from this perspective.
那玩意要撞上我了
That thing is gonna hit me!
最棒的是整栋房♥子都是自动化的
And best of all, the entire house is fully automated.
你用手♥机♥就能启动美丽的喷泉
You can turn on the gorgeous fountains right from your phone.
靠怎么不灵了
Shoot. They're not working.
我又能感觉到那根脚趾了
Hey, I can feel my toe!
这本则是关于能引起
And this one is about hormonal fluctuations
激烈情绪波动的荷尔蒙波动
that can cause radical mood swings.
前一秒你还好好的下一秒
One minute, you're totally fine, and then the next,
-你就... -滚回家吧死书呆
- you're just -- - Go home, nerd!
...冲想帮你的人发火
...lashing out when someone is trying to help you.
谢谢你帮忙
Okay, well, thank you for helping,
你别放在心上
and don't take it personally.
至少现在我们知道她为什么说我的招牌反折袖口
At least now we know why she called my signature cuffs
比《雨中曲》女主角黛比·雷诺兹的博物馆还俗气
tackier than the Debbie Reynolds museum.
对绝对是因为荷尔蒙波动才攻击你的袖口
Y-Yes, that was definitely the hormones talking.
你们把这事看得太严重了
Look, everyone's taking this whole thing way too seriously.
等我女儿的第一次"鲨鱼嗜血周"到来时
When my daughter has her first Shark Week,
我们只会一笑置之
we're just gonna laugh about it.
女孩们就希望这样
That's what girls want.
毕竟下面
I mean, it is bananas
每个月发生的场面都惊心动魄
what happens down there every month.
唯一的好处是月经提醒我该付账单了
Only good thing is, it reminds me to pay my bills.
难怪怀孕后我的信♥用♥卡♥一直刷不了
Oh, that's why my credit card keeps getting denied.
如果你有别的地方要去...
Hey, if there's somewhere you need to be --
看老娘的
Just watch this.
婊♥子♥
Hey, bitch.
海莉也来了吗
Haley's here?!
没错而且你高兴点
That's right. And cheer up.
你要错过这件惨事带来的唯一好处了
You're missing the whole silver lining in all of this.
无论你做错什么月经都是你的免死金牌
A period is a Get Out Of Jail Free card for everything.
考试前没复习
Didn't study for a test?
"人家经痛嘛"
"Oh, wah. I have cramps."
不想上体育课
Don't want to go to gym class?
"抱歉来例假啦"
"Sorry -- lady problems."
想吃掉整个大蛋糕中途叫停不愉快的约会
Wanna eat a whole sheet cake? Shut down a bad date?
把大♥麻♥装进棉条盒子里偷带进演唱会
Smuggle some weed into a concert in your tampon box?
不会有人检查棉条盒的
Ain't nobody looking in there.
你有什么毛病啊
What is wrong with you?!
你就想给你女儿这种建议吗
That's the advice you want to give your daughter?!
我知道我真是糟透了
I know! I'm a disaster!
我要怎么当人妈妈我连襁褓都不会包
How am I going to be a mother? I can't even make a swaddle!
我会养出两个废物就像我一样
I'm gonna raise a couple losers, just like me!
不是你们的错可爱的小笨蛋们
It's not your fault, you sweet dummies!
莉莉
Lily!
老天你也来了
Oh, my God. You too?
我给你熬了哥伦比亚药糊
I made you a Colombian poultice.
就是那玩意发出臭味吗我闻到想吐
Is that what stinks? It's making me sick!
我们会把药糊涂满你肚皮
We're gonna rub it all over your belly,
然后你就会好受多了
and it's gonna make you feel better.
这药膏涂到吐司上再配个煎蛋味道也不错哦
It's also not terrible on toast with a fried egg.
外面到底有多少人
‭How many people are out there?!
就几个来支持你的女性
Just a few supportive women.
姐♥妹♥们♥好啊
Hello, sisters.
我一定是发错群聊了