摩登家庭

Modern Family S10E10

Part 3 Nov. 25, 2019, 7:19 p.m.

with the toys on the list.
好我猜这个亚洲小孩
Okay, so, well, I guess this Asian kid,
他可能想要个...
he maybe wants the, uh --
没时间在这里回避种族刻板印象了
There's no time to be politically correct.
-他想要个计算器 -计算器
- He wants the calculator. - Calculator.
他特别想要
And he wants it bad. Yeah.
等下那意味着
Wait, does that mean that
这个小男孩想要芭比造型头吗
this little boy wants the Barbie Styling Head?
没错看那精心打扮的脚
Yep, look at the turned-out foot.
他当然是想要芭比造型头
Oh, of course he wants the Barbie Styling Head.
这就意味着卡尔想要
Which means Cal wants...
风火轮小汽车
Hot Wheels!
好的
Okay, okay.
-我们走谢谢 -谢谢
- Let's go. Thank you! - Thank you.
别担心他们会回来的
Don't worry. They come back.
求你告诉我你们已经去说了
Please tell me you told Mom and Dad.
没但我们会用歌♥声告诉你们爸妈
No, but we're gonna tell them in song.
听听这部分
Listen to this part.
♪ 很快像我们一样可爱的宝宝 ♪
♪ Soon a baby as cute as us ♪
♪ 会从海莉的子♥宫♥里出来 ♪
♪ Will spring forth from Haley's uterus ♪
我好喜欢
I love it!
她在骗人她就想我们赶快说
She's lying. She just wants us
这样她的湿疹就会消失
to get it over with so her eczema will go away.
我才没有天啊
I don't have -- Oh, my God!
好你记着
Okay, you got this.
你比那些东西速度更快
You're quicker than those things.
-我很怀疑 -你更聪明
- I doubt that. - You're smarter.
巧妇难为无米之炊
I can't make a web out of nothing.
-你还有武器 -吹叶机吗
- Plus, you got a weapon. - A leaf blower?
这家伙能把博美犬吹过篱笆
Hey, that thing can blow a Pomeranian through a hedge.
这么说吧隔壁的小咪♥咪♥
Let's just say ‭little Mimi from next door
再不会来我们家草坪了
won't be visiting our lawn anymore.
趁你妈没回来快点
Now hurry up ‭before your mom gets back.
我们保持联♥系♥
We'll be in constant communication.
快快快
Go. Go, go, go.
保持警惕
Keep your head on a swivel.
去我的浴室记住
Head for my bathroom. Remember.
那蜘蛛能觉察最微弱的恐惧
That spider can sense the subtlest sign of fear.
有东西爬过了我的脚
Something just ran past my foot.
我去停电了
Damn it, the power's out!
我也要走了
Then so am I!
别啊你们现在势均力敌了
No! You just leveled the playing field.
他们有四双眼睛
They have eight eyes.
你只有一双
You only have two.
停电的话它们唯一的优势也没啦
You just took away their one advantage.
它们的毒液呢
What about their sac of poison?
好我到浴室了
Okay, I'm in the bathroom.
很好很好药在
Good, good. The medication...
底下的柜子里
is down below in the cabinet.
你让我把手伸进
You want me to reach my hand
黑暗又潮湿的产卵区吗
into a dark, damp breeding ground?
就在右后边
It's all the way in the back on the far right.
用手摸着找那个罐子
Just feel around for the jar.
所以还要来回移♥动♥我的手
So, skitter my hand back and forth?
这基本上就是蜘蛛求偶舞了
That's basically a spider mating dance!
拿到了
Got it.
回答我完毕
Talk to me, over.
曼尼
Manny!
还不走
Not leaving!
还要买♥♥
Still shopping!
被抢劫还不够惨似的
As if getting robbed wasn't bad enough,
现在让我们搞圣诞聚餐
now that we were hosting Christmas,
我得在克莱尔回家前把新的圣诞树
I had to get a new tree and gifts into the house
和礼物搬进家里来
before Claire got home.
幸好我还有一份她的礼物清单
Fortunately, I had a copy of her gift list.
心里有点毛骨悚然
It was eerie how many of these events
这么多的事情都跟我正在写的童书情节重叠
were lining up with the plot of my children's book in progress,
我的书名叫《拯救圣诞的房♥产中介》
"The Realtor Who Saved Christmas."
-你好 -哥们儿帮个忙
- Hello? - Buddy, I need a favor.
还记得上次因为你数学太烂
Remember that polar bear wrapping paper
害我们买♥♥了好多的北极熊包装纸吗
you made us buy so much of because you can't do math?
拿上几卷
Grab a couple rolls of it,
20分钟后到家门外等我
meet me out in front of the house in 20 minutes.
都用完了老妈用了最后一卷包今年的礼物
We're all out. Mom used the last of it on this year's gifts.
该死我需要很多我要去哪...
Damn it! I need a bunch of it. Where am I supposed to f--
♪ 哈利路亚 ♪
♪ Hallelujah ♪
♪ 哈利路亚哈利路亚 ♪
♪ Hallelujah, Hallelujah ♪
没事了卢克
All good, Luke.
我们买♥♥到了我们要的东西
Well, we got what we need.
我很高兴有人今年终于得到了他想要的
I'm glad someone's getting what they want this year.
这样吧我的手♥机♥给你
You know what? Here, take my phone.
如果你一天内没搞丢手♥机♥就归你了
If you can get through a day without losing it, it's yours.
你肯定是踩到什么发胶上了
You must've run through some hairspray.
你的靴子现在跟捕蝇纸一样
Your boots are like flypaper.
所以那款胶才被禁用啊
That's why that spray was banned.
小鸟们飞过发胶工厂
Birds were flying over the factory
然后就会黏到一起
and getting stuck together.
等等等一下等一下
Hey, wait, wait a second. Wait a second.
这就是你的药吗
This is your medication?
"怀旧派胳膊肘润滑霜"
"Good Old Fashioned Elbow Grease?"
我的手肘干得厉害
I suffer from dry elbow.
我冒着生命危险就为了这个吗
That's what I risked my life for?
光滑的手肘是所有叉腰姿势的必备
Supple elbows are heavily featured in every good power pose.
我就是这样登上《衣柜世界》的封面
That's how I got the cover to Closet World.
我真的是硬生生靠胳膊肘挤上去的
I literally elbowed my way to the top.
我订了个酒店
I booked us a hotel.
曼尼你跟乔同住一间
Manny, you're sharing a room with Joe.
这事你给我搞定
Fix that.
你在暖气片上烤什么东西呢
What are you roasting on the space heater?
我之前把卡片扔到垃圾桶里
Oh, I threw those cards in the trash.
结果都泡湿了
They got all soggy.
连小卡舅舅的都是吗
Even Uncle Cam's?
那些卡片你得留七年啊
You have to save those for seven years,
跟纳税申报单一样
like tax returns.
你好呀菲尔
Hello, Phil.
没错
Oh, that's right.
圣诞树回归原位了
The tree's back where it belongs.
是你偷的
You stole it?!
不是你偷的
Oh, no, you did.
跟你以前偷了我的塑料感恩节火鸡家族
Just like you stole my family of plastic Thanksgiving turkeys,
我的充气复活节兔子
my inflatable Easter bunny,
还有我的山姆大叔彩陶罐一样
and my Uncle Sam pinata,
都搬到你的房♥屋开放日去了
all for your open houses.
今天是洗清
Today was my chance
我冤情的机会
to shed a very unfair reputation.
克莱尔
Claire --
我只不过害两个人进了医院一次
I put two people in the hospital one time,
大家就把我当圣诞节杀手
and now I'm a Christmas ruiner.
着火了
Fire!
我的天哪去拿灭火器
Oh, my God! Get the extinguisher!
是小卡的闪粉贺卡我就知道
Aah! It's Cam's glitter card! I knew it!
后退
Stand back!
树
The tree!
礼物
The gift
这个那个
The -- The --
用完了
It's out!
我和卢克做喷气背包时用的肯定是这灭火器
This must be the one Luke and I used for our jet pack prototype.
是我们太傻了根本就没什么完美的时间点
You know, we're being crazy. There is no perfect moment.
我们就像大人一样上去知会一声就行了
We're just going to walk in there like adults and tell them.
亲爱的
Honey...
没救了