摩登家庭

Modern Family S04E01

Part 1 Feb. 16, 2020, 9:30 a.m.

早安
Good morning!
寿星驾到
There's the birthday boy!
蛋糕上插满了65根蜡烛
65 candles on one cake.
今天可是你的大日子
This is a big day for you...
以及那些从太空都能看到蜡烛的宇航员们
and for the astronauts who can see it from space.
生日快乐
Happy birthday to you.
谢了你们知道我就想安静地过一天
Thank you. And just so everyone knows, I want a quiet day.
别给我惊喜
No surprises.
不要惊喜
No surprises.
昨晚我发现我怀孕了
Last night, I found out that I am pregnant,
所以有个大惊喜正等着杰呢
so Jay's gonna get one big surprise.
好吧两个惊喜
Okay, two if you count
如果印着比基尼的烧烤围裙也算上的话
the barbecue apron with the bikini body on it.
也不能怪你杰
I don't blame you, Jay.
你这辈子体验过够多的惊喜了
You'd had enough excitement in one lifetime--
飞机的诞生印刷术的发明农业的出现
The dawn of flight, printed books, agriculture.
这些玩笑是什么意思
All right, what's with all the jokes?
这叫做吐槽
It's insult comedy.
我上网看了迪安·马丁吐槽大会
I've been watching old Dean Martin roasts online.
忘了这老兄不懂什么是网
Like this guy knows from the internet.
有天早上
The other morning,
我看到他在找汽车的手摇启动把呢
I saw him looking for the crank on the front of his car.
[早期汽车需以人力带动发动机]
-够了别说了 -我只想逗大家一乐而已
- Okay, you're done. - I make fun, and we laugh.
不过说真的
But in all seriousness,
要是你今天见到一道亮光千万别走过去
if you see a light today, don't walk towards it.
[传说人死后会见到光重新进入轮回]
抱歉昨晚你回家时我已经睡着了
I'm sorry I was asleep when you got home.
小卡和米奇一定很失望
Cam and Mitch must be disappointed.
他们为了领养那孩子下了不少工夫
They were really geared up to get that kid.
但凡事也都有积极的一面嘛
But there's a silver lining.
你说得对养婴儿麻烦可多了
You might be right. Babies are a lot of work.
不我不是那个意思
No, that's not what I mean.
-我是 -再说他们也不年轻了
- I'm-- - Ah, you know, and these two aren't getting any younger.
那种年纪可不要再重新开始
The last thing they need is to start over.
真有那么糟糕吗
Would that be so bad?
你好啊杰
Hey, Jay.
你们来干嘛
What are you doing?
-那是什么玩意 -什么
- What the heck is that? - What?
得手了
Get him!
关于他的65岁寿辰
Jay has been very explicit
杰清楚明白地表达过他的愿望
about what he wants to do for his 65th birthday,
但菲尔·邓菲善于读懂他暗含的意思
but Phil Dunphy reads between the lines.
你们干什么搞什么飞机
What the hell is going on?! What are you doing?!
你的生日愿望就要成真了
Making your birthday dreams comes true.
今天是你的好日子哦老弟
It's your special day, buddy.
该把他关在后备箱里吗
Should we put him in the trunk？
把他关在后备箱干什么
Why would we put him in the trunk?
你不是说怎么玩都不为过吗
You said there were no bad ideas.
把这些蠢玩意取下来
Get this stupid thing off me!
你说头套能让他平静下来的
I thought you said the hood would calm him down.
这招对我的猎鹰就管用
It works with my falcon.
别担心歌♥洛莉亚晚餐时间就送他回来
Don't worry, Gloria. We'll have him back in time for dinner.
对他来说那就是下午4点了
Which for him is at 4:00 in the afternoon.
因为他是老人家真好笑
'Cause he's old! I love it!
这咖啡真不错
This is really good coffee.
的确如此
It really is.
这是中度烘焙还是
Ahh. Is it a medium roast or...
深度烘培
Uh, dark.
我想说深度话到嘴边怎么成了中度
Oh. I was gonna say dark. I don't know why I said medium.
你肯定是对的
Well, you would've been right.
加的是全脂牛奶还是
Is it whole milk or...
-含脂2% -含脂2%
- 2%. - 2%.
够了这太荒唐了
Okay. This is ridiculous.
[比喻明显存在的但大家都刻意忽视的问题]
我们得谈谈客厅里的那只大象了
We need to talk about the elephant in the room.
这只巨型填充大象
The giant stuffed elephant
是我们的好基友胡娇送的礼物
was a gift from our good friend Pepper.
同志家庭养小孩算是新鲜事
Gay guys having kids is-- it's relatively new,
所以基友们不太懂得
so our community has not yet learned
该送婴儿什么礼物
how to modulate baby gifts.
当斯蒂芬和斯特凡的罗可出生时
When Steven and Stefan had little Rocco,
基友朗吉娜请来了
our friend Longinus sent over
嘎巴宝宝节目的全体演员
the whole cast of "Yo gabba gabba".
如今罗可一见鲜亮的颜色就哭
Now Rocco cries whenever he sees bright colors.
我都不能去他家了
I'm not allowed over there.
我看我们还是把它捐给谁吧
I guess we should donate it somewhere,
顺便把那千斤重的大猩猩也捐了
along with the 800-pound gorilla.
既然我们不准备领养宝宝了
I mean, you know, now that we're not getting a baby.
顺便一提这个决定
A decision, by the way,
天亮以后更显得无比英明
which seems even better in the light of day.
我也这么觉得
Mm. No, I totally agree.
-我们没事了 -根本是好极了
- So we're good? - No, we're great.
-这事解决得太完美了 -没错
- We couldn't have handled this any better. - No.
我的新弟弟呢
Where's my new baby brother?
好吧还忘了这个小家伙
Okay. Uh, slight oversight.
我想看看他能给他取名拉里吗
Can I see him? Can we name him Larry?
宝贝过来坐在爸爸们中间
Okay, sweetie. Here, have a seat with us.
听我说
Um, listen.
有件事我们必须告诉你
There's something we need to tell you.
是关于拉里的吗
Is it about Larry?
那个算是吧
Well, uh, yes. Uh, sort of.
事实上我们无法领养一个新宝宝
Um, it--it turns out that... We're not getting a baby.
我知道你因此而难过
Yeah, and I know this-- this makes you very sad,
但我保证我们家还是
but I promise you we're still a family--
我能养只猫吗
Can I have a kitten?
猫
A kitten?
如果没有新弟弟
If I can't have a brother,
那我就要养只叫拉里的猫
then I want a kitten named Larry.
怎么回事拉里是哪个动画片中的人物吗
Okay, w-what's this about? Is Larry on a show?
没有所以才特别诡异
He's not, which is what's weird.
-舞会玩得开心吗 -特别开心
- Ooh! How was prom? - So fun.
迈克和我跳了一整晚
Michael and I danced all night...
然后我们留下帮忙打扫会场
And then we stayed after and helped clean up,
那也是件大好事
which was awesome
因为我见到了下学期教三角学的老师
because I got to meet next year's trig teacher.
我记忆中的舞会可不是这样的
That is not the prom I remember.
我头痛死了
I have such a bad headache!
这才是我记忆中的舞会
That's the prom I remember.
你喝酒了吗
Were you drinking?
妈你非得问这事吗
Mom, do we really have to do this?
你问我喝酒了吗我坚决否认
You ask if I was drinking, I say "No,"
可你我都知道那不是真的
and we both know that that's not true.
我们不是早就玩腻这一套了吗
I mean, aren't we past this point in our relationship?
才怪小姑娘我们才没有
No, young lady, we are not.
那我就没喝酒
Then I wasn't drinking.
我也没喝邓夫人
Me neither, mrs. D.
我的天别告诉我他在家里过夜了
Dear God. Tell me he did not spend the night here.
妈你非要又跟我来这一套吗
Mom, do we really have to do this?
妈我需要做出一个重大决定
Mom, I have a big decision to make
是关于今年的诗歌♥夏令营的
about poetry camp this summer.
又是关于那些竹节虫的吗
Is this about the walking sticks again?
全部打包等你到了那儿再决定吧
Pack them all and decide when you're there.
我可以主攻十四行诗和自♥由♥诗体
I can either focus on sonnets or free verse.
我一直自诩为十四行诗大♥师♥
I've always fancied myself a sonneteer,
但我在想那些推崇自♥由♥诗体的女孩
But I'm thinking the free verse girls
在那方面应该也很"自♥由♥"
will be freer with everything,
你懂我的意思吧
If you catch my meaning.
对不起曼尼
Hmm? Ay. I'm sorry, Manny.
我相信你一定能做出正确的决定
I'm sure you will make the right decision.
你没事吧你似乎心不在焉的
Are you okay? You seem distracted.
曼尼快坐下我得告诉你一些事