摩登家庭
Modern Family S10E17
Part 2
Nov. 25, 2019, 7:20 p.m.
趁着大家在聊天 我们应该往回走了
Since we're talking again, uh, we should start heading back.
天很快就会黑了
It'll be dark soon.
或者 你们愿意的话 这条小路前面有个小木屋
Or, if you'd like, there's a cabin just up this trail.
有点陈旧 不过...
It's pretty run-down, but, uh,
你们可以在那里过夜
you're welcome to spend the night.
我要去
I'll do it.
这不太像个好主意啊
Uh... Are -- Are we sure that's a good idea?
不是说有熊吗
Um...wasn't there -- wasn't there mention of bears?
不用 你回家吧 我自己留在这里
No, you go home. I'll stay by myself.
我们不能让他一个人过夜
We -- We can't let him stay by himself.
我们跟歌♥洛莉亚保证过他的安全
We told Gloria we'd keep him safe.
是啊 要是他要留下来 我们也要留下来
Yeah, if he's staying, we're staying.
好吧 好吧 最坏能坏到哪去呢
Yeah. Yeah. What -- What's the worst that could happen?
想想电影里城里人在废弃的小木屋过夜
I mean, in the movies, when city folk stay overnight
通常都是平平安安 绝对没有杀人魔
in abandoned cabins, things usually pan out okay.
不管了 我要到前面去看看
Anyway, I'm gonna run ahead, see if they have any postcards
这个安保糟糕的精神病院有没有明信片
up at this poorly guarded mental institution.
靠 我要饿死了
Damn it, I'm starving.
这里除了一瓶旧威士忌什么都没有
Nothing in here but an old bottle of whiskey.
不要一直想着你有多饿或者想着
Well, just try not to think about how hungry you are
米奇尔把吃的都放在防熊箱里了
or that Mitchell left the food in the bear box.
我们都把食物放在...
We all left the food in the --
你又换衣服了吗
Did you change again?
是啊 我又混搭了几件
Yeah, I just threw a few things together
来了一套"乡间小屋"装
to create a "Rustic Cabin" look.
至少不用担心熊的问题
Well, at least the bears won't be a concern.
信我这个房♥产经纪人的话
Take it from a realtor.
这把史密斯威利锁可是上好品质
This Smith & Wiley lock is the gold standard.
好了 我觉得我们现在可以拼起
All right, I think we are now ready to put together
我们漂亮的L形婴儿床了
our beautiful, L-shaped crib.
这不对啊 一边比另一边大太多了
I-I-- This can't be right. One's way bigger.
而且 我的宝宝要像在中继之家一样
And what, my babies are supposed to come and go as they please,
想来就来想走就走吗
like they're in a halfway house?
好吧 稍微有点看错了图纸
Um, so, a minor misreading of the diagram.
我觉得我们把长边和短边
I think we're just gonna need to swap
换一下位置
a short side for a long side.
同时再把支架折弯就可以了
And in the meantime, we bent that bracket.
艾丽克斯 你能去趟五金店吗
Alex, would you mind running down to the hardware store?
不可能
No way.
我不相信自己的开车技术了
I don't trust myself to drive anymore.
我报名当了一个学校访问学者的
I signed up to be the student liaison
学生联络员
for a visiting scholar on campus --
肯尼斯·彭罗斯先生
Sir Kenneth Penrose.
是的 大名鼎鼎的肯尼斯·彭罗斯先生
Yes, that Sir Kenneth Penrose.
微生物学界的摇滚明星啊
Rock star of the microbiology world.
我知道你可能都要听腻了
I know you must hear this a lot,
但你是我开始打台球的原因
but you're the reason I took up snooker.
你还有打吗
Do you still play?
最近我不得不放下台球
I've had to lay down my cue lately.
这几个月我一直在研究埃博拉疫苗
I've been working for months on an Ebola vaccine.
就在刚刚 我有了重大突破
Just moments ago, I had a breakthrough.
我简直等不及去实验室记下
I can't wait to get to the lab and jot --
那是我的化学老师
Whoa! That was my chemistry advisor.
我可不希望自己出名是因为
I would not want to be known as the girl who --
肯尼斯先生
Sir Kenneth?
我在哪
W-Where am I?
你不知道有多羞愧
You don't know the shame.
现在除了像社会学教授那样的笨蛋
Now they won't let me drive around
他们谁都不让我载了
anyone smarter than a sociology professor.
你知道今天还有谁摔地上了吗 我
You know what else hit the ground today? Me.
就在我弯腰捡地板上的甜甜圈的时候
While I was bending over to pick up a doughnut off the floor!
上面沾了好多灰 不过我不在乎
It was covered in dust balls, but I didn't care,
因为我是个恶心的大猪怪
'cause I'm a disgusting pig monster.
宝贝 别这么说
Oh, honey, please.
你还是像
You're as --
以前一样漂亮
as beautiful as ever.
跟"脸部解锁"说去吧
Tell that to MugScan.
那是我上班的地方用的一个人脸识别软件
MugScan is a face-recognition program we use at work.
那软件对我很不友好
It was really mean to me.
早上好 韦恩
Good morning, Wayne.
韦恩
Wayne?
我才不是韦恩 你个大混♥蛋♥
I'm not Wayne, you jerk!
你没事吧 海莉
You all right, Haley?
我没事 韦恩
I'm fine, Wayne.
我摔倒的时候一只鞋掉了
One of my shoes flew off in the fall,
而我都穿不回去 因为我的脚太肿了
and I couldn't put it back on because my feet were so swollen.
你知道谁做鞋做得好吗 新百伦
You know who makes a great shoe? New Balance.
我快走去看尼尔·戴蒙德[歌♥手]的时候就穿这鞋
I wear them when I power-walk to Neil Diamond.
妈 这个隔板是不是有点高
Hey, Mom, is this divider a little too high?
没有啊 就应该是那样的
No. No, it's supposed to be that way.
那样的话 要是一个宝宝想去看他的兄弟
That way, if one twin wants to visit the other,
他就可以哒哒哒走过来"你好呀"
he can just go, "Ah, doot, doot, doot. Hi!"
我有点小想法
Couple thoughts.
对七 对A
Pair of 7s. Ace high.
大家好 让你们见见多恩·莱蒙和鲁保罗
Everyone, I'd like you to meet Don Lemon and RuPaul,
一对黑皇后[黑人骚基]
a pair of black queens.
米奇尔 这都是你第三次晃荡到那儿了
Mitchell, that's the third time you've wandered over there.
你在那干什么呢
What are you doing?
-没什么 -他嘴里有东西
- Nothing. - He's got something in his mouth.
-抓住他 过来 -没 我没吃
- Get him! come here! - No. No, I don't.
-别 别 -别反抗
- No, no, no! - Don't -- Don't fight. Don't --
他有牛肉干
He has beef jerky!
这是最后一块了 我发誓
That's the last of it. I swear.
-他撒谎 检查口袋 -没有 我
- He's lying. Check his pockets. - No, I --
住手 住手
Stop it, stop it, stop it!
是家庭装的
It's a family pack!
我希望牛肉干[混♥蛋♥]的滋味和这讽刺一样足
I hope the jerky was as delicious as the irony.
-交出来 -不 停手 停手
- Give it! - No, stop it! Stop it --
不
No!
太好了 我们给满森林的熊
Great. We're sending beef smoke signals
发了牛肉味信♥号♥♥
to a forest full of bears.
对不起 我本该分享的
I'm sorry! I should've shared!
与此同时 有满满一背包的远足零食
Meanwhile, there is a sack full of hiking snacks
就在路那头
just up the road!
干酪 熏火腿
Brie, prosciutto,
更别提还有歌♥洛莉亚在品趣志上推荐的
not to mention a wonderful maple-walnut butter
美味的枫糖核桃味黄油
that Gloria recommended on her Pinterest board.
我受够了 我要出去
That's it. I'm going out there.
杰 等等
Jay, wait!
假如你看到了熊 记住
If you see a bear, remember --
用手♥机♥上的手电筒晃他
blind it with the flash on your phone,
然后用顺从的姿势躺到地上
then lie on your back in a submissive pose.
我不会那么做的 假如我和熊迎头碰上
I'm not doing that. If I come face-to-face with a bear,
它最好逃命去
he better run!
外面好黑
It's darker out there --
你确定这主意好吗
Are you sure it was the best idea
不该先搬到楼上再组装吗
to attach these before moving them upstairs?
我肉眼量过 应该能轻松通过
Yeah, I eyeballed the space. It really should fit easily.
只不过艾丽克斯把我们"开进死胡同"了
Except Alex apparently has steered us into a jam.
肯定是送披萨的 我来了 卡尔
Oh, that must be the pizza guy. Coming, Carl!
你知道送披萨的叫什么吗
You know the pizza guy's name?
才不知道
No!
海莉
Hey, Haley.
真惊讶 你居然在午夜前点披萨
Surprised to get an order from you before midnight.
对了 上次那个
By the way, how'd you like
特别定制的虾薯披萨好吃吗
that custom shrimp and potato pizza?
我根本不知道你在胡说什么
I don't even know what you're talking about.
爱死了 也爱死你了
Loved it. Love you.
我去拿钱包
Gonna go get my wallet!
妈
Mom?
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