摩登家庭
Modern Family S10E12
Part 2
Nov. 25, 2019, 7:19 p.m.
but not much was written about him.
-格雷琴 -曼尼尔
- Gretchen. - Manuel.
再一次 我非常抱歉
Again, I'm so sorry abou--
这些书你必须两周内还回来
You'll have to return these within two weeks.
不像我的电♥话♥ 你过了两周都不回
Unlike my phone calls!
臭小子
Senor.
我们必须深入挖掘 既然历史
We had to dig deeper, and since history
是由胜利者书写的
is written by the victors...
非常感谢
Muchas gracias.
我带了自己的
I brought my own.
墨西哥的资料对他在阿♥拉♥莫战役中
Mexican sources had a bit more to say
真实的表现描写得更多一点
about his actual involvement in the Alamo.
-好了 -真的吗
- Okay. - Oh, really?
你要把我给女儿买♥♥的第一件古驰卫衣
You want to give away the very first Gucci hoodie
-送人吗 -行了 就是因为买♥♥了那么多贵衣服
- I ever bought our daughter? - Okay, "First Gucci"
退休规划师才不给我们当顾问了
is why our retirement planner fired us as clients.
而且 海莉和迪伦的孩子是双胞胎
Also, Haley and Dylan are having twins, okay?
-他们真的需要这些东西 -我知道
- They really need this stuff. - I know.
我还是不能相信她怀孕了
I-I-I still can't believe she's pregnant.
-不过 -我知道你要说什么贱话了
- Although... - I know you're about to say something catty.
你都要射出贱气了
You're practically purring.
克莱尔二十几岁的时候不是也"挺会玩"吗
Wasn't Claire a bit "fun" on her 20s?
你知道 我们老家有句俗话
You know, we have a saying back home --
"有其母必有其女"
"The crawdad don't skitter far from its crick."
你手里拿着名牌衣服
Okay, you're clutching a Dolce & Gabbana onesie.
你到底想当都市人还是乡下人
Decide who you are.
再说了 你们家也有
And, by the way, it's not like your family
一个惹事生非的家伙 好吗
doesn't have a wayward streak, okay?
小帕可没多可靠
Pam's not exactly responsible.
不好意思 一个不可靠的女人
Oh, I'm sorry. Could an irresponsible woman
能在监狱获得"最有进步摔跤手"的奖吗
win her prison's "Most Improved Wrestler" Award?
行了 我们就承认
Okay, let's just admit
两家都有狂野不羁的女人吧
we have wild women on both sides of the family.
天啊 可能莉莉身上
Oh, God. Maybe it's good
没有那些基因是件好事
Lily wasn't saddled with those genes.
她肯定没有 就算有什么
She sure wasn't. If anything,
我担心的也是她这么大了还有点幼稚
I'm worried she acts a little young for her age.
我是说 她都十一岁了 长大到不适合
I mean, isn't 11 a little too old
玩这些独角兽和泰迪熊玩具了...
for these unicorns and teddy bears and --
天 《花花女郎》
My... Playgirl?
天啊
Oh! Oh, God.
她从哪搞到这东西的
Where -- Where did she get that?
我都不知道这杂♥志♥还在出版
I didn't even know they still made these.
现在知道印刷媒体没有消亡还挺欣慰的
Although it's heartening print media isn't completely dead.
你跑题了
Okay, you're getting off track.
我们的女儿在看裸男
Our daughter is looking at naked men.
我知道 我们得跟她聊聊这件事
I know. We're gonna have to talk to her about it.
你知道吗 我的父母从来不跟我
You know, my parents never talked to me
谈及性的话题
about anything sexual.
他们只是在马交♥配♥的时候
They just sent me to the stables
让我去马厩看着
when the horses were breeding,
这可让我有了些不切实际的"期待"
and wow, did that create some unreasonable expectations.
不会吧 谁告诉她的
No way! Who told her that?
她...
She -- Uh-oh.
老爹们表情怪怪的 过夜的时候见
The dads have their faces on. See you at the sleepover.
好呀
Hey!
是这样的 我们想跟你谈个事
So, listen, we need to talk to you about something.
我们...
We, uh -- We found a --
在你房♥间里找到一本杂♥志♥
a magazine in your room.
这没什么好尴尬的
There's nothing to be embarrassed about.
老天 一点都不丢脸 你...
Oh, God, no, not at all. You're -- You're going through
你正经历激动人心的转变时期
a very exciting period of -- of change
-荷尔蒙也在释放 -也开始有冲动
- and -- and hormones. - And -- And -- And, um, urges.
知道了 你们真会教孩子
Got it. Solid parenting.
-明天见 -不不不不不
- See you tomorrow. - No, no, no, no, no, no.
-别走 -亲爱的 坐下
- No, no, no. - Sweetheart. Come on.
我知道聊这个让你很不自在 但是
I-I-I know this is uncomfortable, but...
你不应该为对性好奇
You shouldn't be ashamed about wondering
而感到羞愧
or being curious about sex.
肢体交缠
You know, the mingling of bodies
也可以是表达爱的美好方式
can be a beautiful expression of love.
别说了 学校里也有关于这个话题的课
Stop! They have classes about this in school,
如果你们不希望我看那种杂♥志♥
and if you don't want me looking at magazines like that,
就不要放在沙发上
don't leave them on the sofa!
沙发 怎么...
The sofa? How did --
-怎么会跑到沙发上 -我不知道
- How did it get on the sofa? - I don't know.
我不... 是保姆
I don't -- Ah, the babysitter.
又或是海莉 或者小帕 也可能是克莱尔
Or, you know, Haley, or -- or Pam, or Claire.
我们刚刚还在聊她们几个有多变♥态♥
We were just talking about how perverted they are.
等一下 这是1997年的杂♥志♥
Wait a minute. This is from 1997.
封面是大卫·杜楚尼
And David Duchovny's on the cover.
你以前不是喜欢大卫·杜楚尼吗
Didn't you have a thing for David Duchovny?
什么 我都不知道那是谁
Why -- Wha-- I don't even know who that is.
他就是演那个俗套的科幻剧的
He was on the -- you know, the cheesy sci-fi show,
叫什么来着 《X档案》之类的
the, uh -- What was it? "The X-Files" or something?
就是弱智版的《黑衣人》
You know, kind of a dumbed-down "Men in Black"?
剧里面有个经典句子
They had that saying, you know?
好像是 "真♥相♥...就在上面"
Saying was, "The truth is... up there"?
你明知道是"真♥相♥就在外面"
You know damn well it's "The truth is out there"!
你别弄皱了
Don't -- Don't you crinkle it.
你为什么有一本20年前的裸男杂♥志♥
Why do you have a 20-year-old nudie mag?
穆德探员对我意义重大 好吗
Agent Mulder meant a lot to me, okay?
《X档案》男主角
他那么帅 总是眉头深锁
He was brooding and handsome
还迷恋一个虽然焦躁但性感的红毛
and obsessed with an uptight yet sexy redhead.
你猜怎么着 你根本没机会
Yeah, well, guess what. You wouldn't have had a chance
泡到大卫·杜楚尼 因为你看
with David Duchovny because, look.
他最不喜欢的就是"不诚实的人"
One of his turn-offs is "Dishonest people."
而且你为什么把杂♥志♥随便乱丢
And why is it just lying around the house?
我前几天把垃圾桶
I was bringing the trash bins
拉回车♥库♥时
into the garage the other day,
注意到我的一箱旧物
and I noticed an old box of my stuff.
我觉得很怀念 于是决定翻看一下
I got nostalgic, and I decided to flip through it.
-等等 垃圾日 就是上周三吗 -对
- Wait, garbage day? L-Last Wednesday? - Yeah.
就是我们开了那瓶梅洛干红
The day we opened the bottle of Merlot,
拿进卧室喝
took it back to the bedroom,
然后有了"超乎寻常的体验"的那晚吗
and had a rather spectacular... session?
-是那晚吗 -你少来
- Uh, was it that night? - Oh, please,
那是多年来你第一次不是因为鄙视
it was the first time in years I'd seen your eyes
而[爽到]翻白眼
roll back in your head without irony.
我深受你吸引 真是不好意思啊
Well, excuse me if I am attracted to you.
但不只是因为我 对吗
Except it wasn't just me, was it?
那晚床上有三个人
There were three of us in that bed.
我第二天还送了你一打红玫瑰
I sent you a dozen roses the next day.
原来我应该送其中六朵给大卫·杜楚尼啊
Apparently, I should've sent six to David Duchovny.
要不要这样
Oh, come on!
我看完性感美男图
So what? I got a little extra worked up
比平时更性奋点 有什么大不了
after looking at a sexy picture.
这是很普遍的事
People do it all the time.
胡娇说这是他买♥♥"猛♥男♥"牌纸巾的唯一理由
Pepper said it's the only reason he buys Brawny paper towels.
那我想在情感层面上只与你一人产生共鸣
So, I guess I'm weird for wanting to purely connect
是我奇葩
with you on an emotional level.
算了 我去健身房♥了
Know what? I'm going to the gym.
好消息 大卫·杜楚尼
And good news, David Duchovny.
你今晚不会孤单一人在沙发上了
You're not gonna be alone on the sofa tonight.
请你把iPod递给我好吗
Can you please hand me my iPod?
你已经剥夺了我的尊严
You've robbed me of my dignity.
不能把我霸气的离场也夺走
You will not also rob me of my glorious exit.
谢谢
Thank you!
好了 哥们
There you go, buddy.
现在你看起来像个真正的英雄了
Now you look like a real hero.
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