摩登家庭
Modern Family S10E22
Part 3
Nov. 25, 2019, 7:20 p.m.
Happy birthday, Joe!
原本挺快乐的
It was!
不用说大家也知道
It goes without saying
我是这个家里最优秀的表演者
I'm the best performer in the family.
我今年过生日时 决定办一场才艺演出
This year, for my birthday, I decided to have a talent show
好让大家都开始称赞这事实
so they all start saying it.
等等
Wait.
今天是才艺演出吗 我都不知道
It's a talent show? I-I didn't know that.
邀请函上写了啊
It said so on the invitation.
米奇尔
Mitchell?
我就随便扫了一下
I only skimmed it.
这下糟了
This is a disaster.
我们可什么都没有准备
We didn't prepare anything!
♪ 没有什么能比卡罗莱纳的早晨 ♪
♪ Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina ♪
Carolina in the Morning - Gus Kahn
♪ 更加美妙 ♪
♪ In the morning ♪
♪ 没人能比我的挚爱更加甜美 ♪
♪ No one could be sweeter than my sweetie... ♪
真不敢相信他们车里有成对的马甲
I can't believe they had matching vests in their car.
暴脾气叔叔 你为什么这么生气
Uncle Grumpy, why are you so angry?
因为总统想建隔离墙
Because the President wants to build a wall!
是啊 是挺悲哀的
Ay, yeah, that is very sad.
只是对我来说
Sad for me,
因为我又没钱又丑
because I have no money and I am ugly.
你不一样 他会让你进来的 因为你有钱
For you, he would let you in because you have money
还是大胸美女
and you have the boobs.
我都不知道暴脾气叔叔可以讲政♥治♥哏
I never thought Uncle Grumpy would go political.
我就知道我还不行
I knew I wasn't ready!
♪ 蝴蝶翩翩起舞 ♪
♪ Butterflies all flutter up ♪
♪ 亲吻美丽花朵 ♪
♪ And kiss each little buttercup... ♪
斯黛拉 转圈圈
Stella, walk in a circle.
斯黛拉 坐下
Stella, sit.
砰
Bang!
可惜差一点哦 爸
Ohh. Ah. Close, Dad.
没有 我就是教她抱住枪口
No, I taught her to go for the gun.
自从我看了那部恐怖片
The banjo scares me ever since
班卓琴就给我留下了阴影
I saw that creepy film.
等等 那个电影叫什么来着
Wait. What was it called, again?
《激流四勇士》
"Deliverance"?
不是 是《布偶大电影》
No. The Muppet Movie.
2011年上映的布偶喜剧电影
他是三趾树蛙 她是两趾树蛙
He was a three-toed tree toad, but a two-toed toad was she.
三趾树蛙
The three-toed tree toad
想得到两趾树蛙的心
tried to win the two-toed shetoad's heart,
因为三趾树蛙喜欢
for the three-toed tree toad loved the ground
两趾树蛙脚下的土地
that the two-toed tree toad trod.
"树蛙脚下的土地" 发送
"...tree toad trod." And sent.
太厉害了
Stop it!
西部最快拇指
Fastest thumbs in the West!
♪ 如果我能有一天拥有阿♥拉♥丁神灯 ♪
♪ If I had Aladdin's lamp for only a day ♪
♪ 我会许个愿 这是我要许的愿望 ♪
♪ I would make a wish, and here's what I'd say ♪
♪ 没有什么能比卡罗莱纳的早晨 ♪
♪ Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina ♪
♪ 更加美妙 ♪
♪ In the mooorniiing ♪
大家都知道 雪莉和我是因为我们
As you all know, Sherry and I met
对即兴表演共同的爱而相遇相爱
and fell for each other over our love of improv.
那么现在 我们是在一个浪漫的餐厅
So, we're at a romantic restaurant.
好的
Okay.
晚餐很好吃
That dinner was delicious.
我真不敢相信你选了这个地方
I can't believe you chose this place.
这里的主厨是我前男友
The chef is my ex-boyfriend.
那个疯子
The crazy one?
是的
Yes.
他嫉妒心很强
He's very jealous,
我担心他对你的食物动了手脚
and I'm scared he did something to your food.
我感觉有点不太好[搞笑]
I am feeling a little funny.
我倒希望这能稍微搞笑点
I wish this were a little funny.
这个房♥间在转吗 我
I-Is this room spinning? I --
没有
No.
我怕是中毒了
I was afraid of that.
那我最好趁还来得及赶紧做了
Well, then I better do this before it's too late.
这一部分是真的
And this part is real.
雪莉·夏克尔
Sherry Shaker,
我以前都是独角戏
I used to be a one-man show,
直到你从舞台左侧进场
and then you entered from stage left,
我坠入爱河
and I fell in love.
我希望
I want you
你能永远做我的屏幕伴侣
to be my scene partner forever.
亲爱的 让我们一起让朋友们见证
Darling, let's force our friends to sit through
我们的余生
the rest of our lives together.
你愿意嫁给我吗
Will you marry me?
我的天
Oh, my God.
曼尼
Manny!
不要
No!
你为什么要这么做
Why would you do this?!
至少现在你的钢琴表演不是最糟心的了
You gotta be feeling better about that piano.
我都不想聊我今年的生日
I'd rather not talk about my birthday this year.
♪ 祝你生日快乐 亲爱的莉莉 ♪
♪ Happy birthday, dear Lily ♪
♪ 祝你生日快乐 ♪
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
我还是不敢相信雪莉拒绝了我
I still can't believe Sherry said no
还跟我分手
and broke up with me.
那他想怎么样 他现在才二十岁
What does he expect? He's 20 years old.
在全家人面前搞了个想象的餐厅求婚
He proposed in front of his family at a pretend restaurant.
说好的"我愿意"情节呢
Whatever happened to "Yes and"?
杰 我什么都试过了
Jay, I've tried everything.
你快说点什么能让他好受点的话吧
Please say something to him that will make him feel better.
行吧
Fine.
孩子 别想了
Kid, let it go.
四天了
It was four days ago.
好了 来许个愿
Alright, let's make a wish!
我希望我死了
I wish I were dead.
好啦
Alright.
许完了 挺好
There we go.
海莉和我计划了好多年
Haley and I have had this plan for years
等我21岁的时候 我们要一起去酒吧
that when I turn 21, we'd hit the bars together.
但是因为她怀孕了 我算是在喝两人份
But since she's pregnant, I was drinking for two.
准确地说 四人份
Technically, four.
我告诉你 海莉·邓菲
Let me tell you something, Haley Dunphy.
你知道我有多佩服你吗
Do you know how much I admire you?
知道吗
Do you?
五体投地
So much!
我忙上忙下累得像狗一样
While I was working my butt off,
你却能在外面逍遥自在
you were out there having fun!
无忧无虑
Not worrying about anything --
不想学校 不想工作
not school, not work...
不想避孕
not condoms.
看看你 挺着大肚子
Look at you -- all preg-a-nant.
或许我应该让比尔也把我肚子搞大
Maybe I should have Bill come get me pregnant.
这样我们就可以一起怀孕了 那多有意思
Then we can be pregnant together! That would be fun!
我的手♥机♥呢
Where's my phone?
我要给他发短♥信♥让他过来搞大我肚子
I'm gonna text him to come get me pregnant.
你知道吗
You know what?
都什么时代了
It's 2000-something.
是我要搞大他的肚子
I'm gonna get him pregnant!
我真想念喝傻的日子
I miss drinking.
不像其他人 我喜欢我的生日
Unlike some people, I love my birthday.
这是一年中可以以我为中心的一天
It's the one day a year that can be all about me.
好了 我觉得我们每个人轮流
So, um, I thought it would be fun
讲讲自己爱小卡哪一点
if we all went around the room
肯定很有意思
and say what we love about Cam.
这可真是意外 不过你要坚持的话就来吧
Well, that's out of nowhere, but if you insist.
海莉 不如你先开始
Haley, why don't you go first?
我吗 好的
Oh, me? Okay.
这个嘛 我爱小卡舅舅
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