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Modern Family S10E20

Part 2 Nov. 25, 2019, 7:20 p.m.

Present! Present.
谁是可爱的女士呀
Who's a lovely lady?
谁是可爱的女士呀
Who's a lovely lady?
谁是优雅的男孩儿呀谁是影响人物呀
Who's an elegant boy? Who's an influencer?
你是你是
Ooh, you are! You are!
谁是影响人物啊你是
Who's an influencer? You are!
想去看看狗床吗
You want to see the dog beds?
-想 -跟我来
- Yes. - ‭Follow me.
他是个好爸爸
He's a good father.
他是个好爸爸
He's a good father.
先生...
Sir...
狗放在菠萝里
a dog in a pineapple?
爱了
Love!
我叫它"犬凤呈祥"
I call that one "Puppy Colada."
得了
Stop!
是啊得了
Yes, stop.
那你怎么看咱们能做这笔生意吗
So, what do you say? Are we in business?
等一下别着急
Oh, down boy.
在帮你做推荐之前
I like to make sure that Arthur Goodboy
我得确保亚瑟乖仔真的喜欢这件产品
really loves the product before we do any endorsements.
如果我们什么都答应
If we said yes to everything,
那跟网红暴躁猫那啥都代言的婊♥子♥有何分别
then we're no better than that whore Grumpy Cat.
来试试这个
Here, try this one.
好了亚瑟乖仔先生
Okay, Mr. Arthur Goodboy.
你何不自己去里面
Why don't you just trot yourself right in there
打个盹儿呢
and take a load off?
他才刚睡过一阵子所以...
You know, he just woke up from a nap, so...
他可能过几小时才会想休息
he will probably tucker out in a couple of hours.
但没关系反正我也没有别的事
It's cool, 'cause I have nowhere I need to be.
真"意外"啊
You don't say.
里面真宽敞
Oh, it's spacious.
海莉
Haley?
我在这
Over here!
妈没跟你一起出来吧
Mom's not with you, right?
没有
No.
出什么事了
What's going on?
你已经怀孕了
What could you have possibly done
还能有什么更严重的
that's worse than getting pregnant?
迪兰和我要私奔结婚
Well, Dylan and I are eloping,
我们想让你去作见证
and we want you to be the witness.
我的天我愿意
Oh, my God! Yes!
我都无法形容这让我觉得自己多特别了
Oh, I can't even tell you how special this makes me feel.
我不会告诉任何人我
I will not tell anyone. I --
等等为什么私奔为什么不办婚礼
Wait. Why eloping? Why not a wedding?
我们只想简单快速地结婚
We just want it to be simple and quick.
不想有各种大戏
And no drama.
-那老妈是肯定不能带上了 -是啊
- Guess that eliminates Mom. - Yeah.
什么不能带上老妈
What eliminates Mom?
是这样的是这样的说来有趣
You know, uh -- You know, it-it's so funny when --
当人们做出这种有趣的事
when people do such, um, funny --
其实三言两语就能说清
You know, the story is so short,
-但又说来话长 -够了够了
- but it-it-it would be so long -- - Enough, enough.
我看不下去了
I cannot watch this.
我觉得她要铺垫出个故事了呢
I felt like she was building to something.
迪兰和我要去法♥院♥结婚
Dylan and I are going to the courthouse to get married.
我们不是不想带你
It's nothing personal, you know?
只不过我们现在最不想要的
It's just...right now, the last thing we want
就是最后搞成了大型婚礼
is it to turn into a big production.
亲爱的假如这是你想要的
Well, honey, if that's what you want,
作为你母亲虽然这显然让我十分痛苦
as your mother, obviously, it's incredibly painful,
但你完全不必担心
but that-that's none of your concern.
我只希望你的婚礼
I just hope you have a wedding that's every bit
能和我一直以来想象得一样美好感人
as wonderful and beautiful as I always imagined.
尽管我不能像想象中那样出席
You know -- when I was gonna be part of it.
我就知道她不会介意
I knew she'd be cool.
-是啊 -我们走
- Yeah! - ‭Let's roll.
老妈看起来挺受打击的
Mom seemed pretty bummed about it,
可这是我们想要的
but, you know, this is what we want.
没错
Totally!
妈蛋
Damn it! ‭
你怎能这样对你母亲
How could you do this to your mother?
他们怎么这么慢
What's taking them so long?
就是说啊婚礼的主角又不是他们
I know. It's, like, this wedding isn't about them.
是你和迪兰还有我
It's about you and Dylan and me!
来了
Coming!
真抱歉
So sorry.
别担心海莉
And don't worry, Haley.
我保证你几乎不会注意到我们在场
I promise you will hardly know we are there at all.
搞什么你们穿得比我还正式
What? You're dressed nicer than me.
我原本不想说什么但你确定
Well, I wasn't gonna say anything, but are you sure
你在这个特别的日子就穿这身衣服吗
that's the outfit you want for your special day?
这是海莉的婚礼她想穿得多难看都随她
It's Haley's wedding. She can dress as bad as she wants.
没错
Right.
谁死了
Who died?
海莉和迪兰要结婚了
Haley and Dylan are getting married.
穿成这样结婚吗
Dressed like that?
现在我还得带上卢克
Now I have to invite Luke?
你不想带就不带
Not if you don't want to.
你真会说话
This feels great.
好吧就带上卢克不能再加人了
Okay, that is it. Luke, but no one else.
我妈发现你父母会出席
Hey, so, my mom found out your parents are coming,
因为我告诉她了现在她也正赶来
'cause I told her, and now she's on her way.
我外公也来
And Grandpa's coming.
你们会很喜欢他的
You guys are gonna love him.
但假如他叫你们杀了他别下手
Oh, but if he asks you to kill him, don't.
我知道你在想什么
I know what you're thinking.
人太多了
That is a lot of people
法♥院♥那没有人情味的小房♥间挤不下
for a small, impersonal room at the courthouse,
我们也是这么想的
and we are on the same page.
所以为什么不在这结婚
So...why don't we just do it here?
我有证婚人资格我可以主持婚礼
I'm ordained. I can perform the ceremony.
这个主意太好了
That is such a great idea!
那样的话又简单又私人化
That way, it's easy and intimate.
这正是你想要的不是吗
I mean, that's what you wanted, right?
你们先去法♥院♥
So, go down to the courthouse,
领结婚证然后回来
get your marriage license, come back here,
我们都在这等着
and we'll all be waiting.
好吧我们立刻就得去
Fine. But let's go now.
我饿死了法♥院♥的小卖♥♥部
I'm starving, and they make a great soft pretzel
有特别好吃的软椒盐饼
at the courthouse snack shop.
你是怎么知道的
How do you know that?
我还是可以私奔的
I can still elope.
别坏了我的好事
Don't you ruin this for me.
无所谓无所谓
It's fine. It's fine.
等等
Wait.
假如迪兰的外公要来
If Dylan's bringing his grandfather,
我们也必须邀请我爸和歌♥洛莉亚不是吗
that means we have to invite Dad and Gloria, right?
我想是的
I think so, yeah.
但他八成不会来杰讨厌临时邀约
But he probably won't show. Jay hates last-minute plans.
他会说"老天他们怎么不私奔"
He'll be like, "Oh, geez, why don't they just elope?"
外公你来啦
Grandpa?
谁是乖乖仔
Who's a goody-woody boy?
谁是犯困的乖仔
Who's a sleepy boy?
没想到我会说这种话
I never thought I'd say this,
但我想念杰伤人的大男子主义
but I miss Jay's toxic masculinity.
至少他不是你亲爹
At least he's not your real father.
-我来接我接 -我来接
- I'll get it! I got it! - I'll get it!
-你好 -歌♥洛莉亚
- Hello? - Hey, Gloria.
海莉和迪兰决定今天下午结婚
Haley and Dylan decided to get married this afternoon,
我知道老爸要谈狗床生意
and I know Dad's got that dog-bed thing,
所以不必有压力