摩登家庭

Modern Family S10E18

Part 3 Nov. 25, 2019, 7:20 p.m.

我觉得你在评判我
and I feel like you're judging.
我在你身边很紧张因为你很酷
I get nervous around you 'cause you're so cool.
这话真贴心
That's really sweet.
等等你是在损我吗
Wait, are you being mean?
不是为什么人们总这样问我
No. Why does everyone always ask me that?
好多年没人说过我酷了
No one has called me cool in years.
从没说过
Ever...
我很喜欢你不在乎的样子
I love the way you don't give a damn.
我确实是个我行我素的人
Well, I do play by my own rules.
你想做什么就做什么
You do what you want.
你不在乎会惹怒谁或是别人对你的看法
You don't care who you piss off or what anyone thinks of you.
你的称赞渐渐听起来像在损我了
This compliment is starting to sound a little bit like an insult.
都怪我那两个毒舌基老爸的影响
Well, look who I live with.
亲爱的
Honey.
这样吧我们一起做点什么
Tell you what. Let's hang out,
了解一下彼此找点乐子
get to know each other, do something fun.
我们用性感女生的照片在约炮软件上建个账号♥
Ooh, let's create a Tinder profile of a really hot girl
看看男生都给我们发什么照片
and see what pictures guys send us.
我得拿出成年人的样子
I need to be the grown-up here,
但我真的很想那样做
but I really do want to do that.
这是做什么
What's this?
曼尼和我在想
Manny and I were thinking
你该在上电视前排练一下
that you should rehearse a little bit before going on TV
到时我们的熟人都会看到你的
where people we know are gonna see you.
我不需要排练
I don't need to rehearse.
你知道我为普里契特衣柜拍过多少广♥告♥吗
Do you know how many commercials I did for Pritchett's Closets?
这是直播电视可不是一回事
This is live TV. It's a whole different beast.
好吧但差不多就行了明白吗
Okay, but don't overdo it, all right?
我想保留新鲜感
I want to keep it fresh.
妈你来做主持 3 2...
Mom, you're the host in 3...2...
大家好欢迎收看快购频道
Hello. Welcome to CalShopTV.
我是个趾高气扬的金发妞动不动就被震惊了
I am a perky blonde who is easily amazed.
我是杰·普里契特我敢说你一定以为
I'm Jay Pritchett. I'll bet you were expecting
-你将听到关于衣柜的... -好了暂停
- to hear about closets -- - O-Okay, stop.
你为什么要提到衣柜
Why are you mentioning closets?
杰人人都知道你是衣柜之王
Jay, everybody knows that you're the king of closets.
如果衣柜界也有名人堂
If there was a closet hall of fame,
你一定榜上有名
you would be in it.
什么叫如果你以为我们那周末
If? What do you think we were doing
去纽约科宁是干什么
that weekend in Corning, New York?
我们别跑题行吗
Let's just stay on topic.
并且尝试用多彩的语言来形容你的产品
And try using colorful language to describe your product
比如"惊天好用"或"美味爆棚"
like "Stunning" or "Delicious."
"美味爆棚" 如果我爸听到我说这种娘炮用语
"Delicious"? If my dad heard me say that,
他一定会揍我而我也会感激他揍了我
he'd have punched me, and I'd have been grateful.
直接给我提示就行了
Just cue me. ‭
大家好欢迎收看快购频道
Hello. Welcome. This is CalShopTV.
你们好吗朋友们如果你家有狗
How you doin', folks? If you have a dog --
不那样太严肃了
No, no, that's too big.
不如你试试轻佻一点的
Why don't you do it like you're goofing on it?
像这样
Like, uh,
"我才不在乎什么狗床老子可是真爷们儿"
"I don't really care about dog beds. I am a man!"
你不如先制♥造♥个笑话暖场吧
Why don't you start off with something funny?
我一个同学喜欢用手臂假装放屁
A kid in my class does arm farts.
笑死个人
It's hilarious.
我们的身体真奇妙不是吗
Our bodies, huh?
够了我都快被你们搞晕了
Come on, guys. You're starting to get in my head.
我说如果你觉得自己还没准备好
Well, listen, if you don't feel like you're ready for it,
不如取消上节目吧
why don't you just cancel?
总好过让自己丢脸嘛
It's better than embarrassing yourself.
你是指让你丢脸吧
You mean embarrass you.
你以为我没听见你那些刻薄评价吗
You don't think I hear your snarky comments?
你觉得狗床很蠢我明白
You think dog beds are silly. I get it.
此刻我需要真心看好我的人
Right now, I need people who believe in me,
所以不如你就待在家吧
so why don't you just stay home.
他真以为我会跟他一起去吗
Did he really think I was going with him?
抱歉多娜你的膝盖怎么样了
I'm so sorry, Donna. H-How is your knee feeling?
我的膝盖没事
Oh, my knee's fine.
你那小个子舞伴的马刺踢到的是我的小腿
It's my shin where your little buddy's spurs got me.
是啊米奇尔你为什么要买♥♥马刺靴
Yeah, Mitchell, why did you get spurs?
我也是一时冲动当时靴子就摆在收银台
It was an impulse buy. They were at the register.
好啦各位啤酒接力赛即将开始
All right, folks, we're about to kick off the beer relay!
-啤酒接力赛来吧队友们 -抱歉各位
- Beer relay! Come on, team! - I'm sorry, guys.
我刚吃了一颗止痛药我今晚不能喝酒了
I just took a painkiller. I am out for the night.
该死我都为此练习一星期了
Damn it. I've been practicing for this all week.
我们知道内特你可能有酗酒问题
Yeah, we know, Nate. You might have a problem.
我可以代她参赛
Um, I-I could sit in for her.
-说真的吗我想你不... -我也能一口闷啊
- Oh, seriously? I don't think... - ‭I can chug.
还记得那次我们过安检时
Remember that time we went through security
我忘记包里还有一瓶水吗
and I forgot I had a bottle of water in my bag?
上啊牛仔们准备开始[装上马鞍]Come on! Come on, cowboys. Saddle up!
是这样的米奇多娜每次都排第一个
All right, Mitch. Donna always goes first,
所以你顶替她的位置
so you take her spot.
好的带个好节奏我喜欢
All right, set the pace. I love it.
好了废物们准备开喝
Okay, you dirtbags, let's do this.
各就位预备
Ready...set...
-开始 -好开战
- chug! ‭- All right, let's go!
快喝米奇尔加油
Chug, Mitchell, chug!
-你得一口闷 -我啤酒里的气泡是不是比别人的多
- You gotta chug. - Is it possible there's more bubbles in mine?
-不是一样的 -没有吗
- No. It's the same, yeah. - No?
加油米奇
Come on, Mitch!
别像婴儿一样小口嘬
Stop nursing it like a little baby!
你知道吗内特
You know what, Nate?
我不擅长应对负面情绪
I don't respond well to negativity,
所以你们都给我收敛一点
so you can all just take that down a-a notch.
给他呐喊鼓劲吧喝喝喝
Here we go. Drink, drink, drink!
-米奇尔你得喝啊 -一口闷快啊
- Mitchell, you have to drink! - Chug it. Come on.
赢家诞生
We got a winner!
他简直像在给自己行水刑一样
It's like he's waterboarding himself.
我们把桶放在门上面刚好放稳了
We balance this bucket on the top of the door, just so,
等你大爸小爸一进门
and when your dads come home,
水就兜头盖脸淋下去
spills water on them.
沸腾的热水吗
Hot boiling water?
-什么不是 -好吧
- What? No. ‭- Okay.
用冷水应该也挺好玩的
I guess it's still funny.
你是说这是酷的人
And you're saying this is a cool thing
会做的酷事吗
that cool people would do?
莉莉我没法对你说谎
Lily, I can't lie to you.
这一点都不酷我也不酷
It's not cool, and neither am I.
流动餐车让我紧张
Food trucks make me nervous.
我会留语♥音♥留言
I leave voicemails.
比起音乐电视台我更喜欢天气台
I prefer The Weather Channel to MTV.
音乐电视台现在还酷吗
Is MTV still cool?
我从来没听过
I've never heard of it.
我根本不酷
I am not cool.
我觉得我也不酷
I don't think I'm cool, either.
或许那就是我们的共同之处
Maybe that's our thing.
也许我们可以一起做不酷的人
Maybe we can be uncool together.
听起来不错
That sounds nice. ‭
只是当我和朋友们一起时我会假装不认识你
Except when I'm with my friends, then I don't know you.
我尊重这个决定
I respect that.
你知道什么才好玩吗
You know what would be fun?
往桶里装满蜘蛛
Filling the bucket with spiders.
你可能需要去看心理医生
You might need help.
爸你是不是又吃了一个辣椒
Dad? Did you eat another pepper?
-没有 -不是因为辣椒
- No. - It's not about the pepper.
你是气我们取笑那部电影对吧
You're upset we made fun of the movie, aren't you?
我们这代人就这样
Hey, that's just what our generation does.
我们拿让我们害怕的事物开玩笑
We goof on things that scare us
恰恰因为我们很喜欢它们
because of how much we love them.
没错我们真希望那部电影有续集