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Modern Family S03E01

Part 1 Feb. 16, 2020, 9:30 a.m.

飞机马上降落在怀俄明州杰克逊城
We're beginning our initial descent to Jackson Hole, Wyoming.
感谢您搭乘美联航
Thank you for flying united.
估计我们很快就着陆了
Reckon we'll be landing soon.
菲尔你保证落地前不变口音的
Phil, honey, you promised not till we got there.
好
Okay.
我们今年要去度假牧场
This year we're going to a Dude Ranch.
全家一起
With the whole family.
"全是"家人呢
Mm-hmm the family.
带上迪兰吧他自己出票钱
What if Dylan buys his own ticket?
我们保证分房♥睡
We'll sleeping in seperate cabins.
迪兰和我骑一匹马怎么样
What if Dylan and I share a horse?
我讨厌降落
Mm, I hate landing.
会挺过去的
We'll get through this.
干嘛呢这是
What are you doing?
我想把耳鸣"轰"走
I want my ears to pop.
涂些胭脂就"红"了
Try putting a little rouge on 'em.
我的笑点永远无人能懂
Nobody gets me.
景色多美啊小牛仔女郎
Wow. Isn't this beautiful, little cowgirl?
你对她抢眼的打扮有意见是不是
You hate her sparkly outfit, don't you.
不我说过我没意见
No, I told you, it's fine,
我只是不喜欢你们穿父女装
I just didn't like you wearing a matching one.
我们还没有跟家人讲
So we haven't told the family yet,
但我们已经决定了要收养一个小男孩
but we've decided to adopt a baby boy.
这次要在美国收养
From America this time.
你也可以说我们在"支持国货"
You might say we're "Buying domestic."
私底下说这种话只能私下说
In private. You might say that in private.
收养律师建议做一个相册
Our adoption attorney told us it would be a good idea
展示给未来儿子的妈妈看
to make a photo book to show prospective moms.
没错但他认为小卡的版本太文艺装逼
Yes, but he thought that Cam's version was a little too "artsy,"
所以我们决定去农场拍些粗犷的照片
So, we decided to take a few rugged shots at the ranch to,
平衡一下
you know, balance it out.
我认为这相册不需要平衡
I don't think it needs balancing out.
不用吗
Really?
专业说法叫"产值"
It's called "Production value."
小马
Horse.
杰快看好骏啊
Look, Jay! So beautiful!
你仍处于耳鸣状态吗
Your ears haven't popped yet, huh?
我就像是"马语者"
I'm like the Horse Whisperer.
不过它不知怎么有点受惊了
But something is taking this one skittish.
放眼远山如黛
Look at the mountains.
真是巍峨秀丽
They're amazing.
我从来没有离家这么远过
I've never been this far from home before
现在又远了一步
now I've never been this far.
然后又远了一步
now I've never been this far.
崖到跳时方恨少
Where's a cliff when you need one?
孩子们看实打实的牛仔
Look, kids! A real life cowboy.
来看快来看
Oh. Come see. Come see.
他在干嘛
What's he doing?
老天啊
Oh, my.
我叫汉克
My name is Hank.
这里是失落河农场
Here at the Lost Creek Ranch,
在这里你们可以骑马抛绳和射击
you're gonna ride, you're gonna rope and you're gonna shoot.
夜晚可看到繁星满天
You gonna see a sky so full of stars,
都市的霓虹夜景也相形见绌
It'll put your city lights to shame.
远离喧嚣洗尽浮华或许你就会发现
And when it's all down, you maight just encounter
自己未曾发现过的真我
a piece of yourselves you never knew was there.
有什么问题吗
Are there any questions?
做水疗的话是向你预定还是...
Uh, do we book spa treatments through you or...
我喜欢你小子
I like you, kid.
我以后就叫你"好莱坞"
I'm gonna call you "Hollywood."
你没回答我的问题
That wasn't an answer.
这位仙人球是谁
And who's this Cactus Flower?
你说什么
What?
这是我妻子歌♥洛莉亚
That's my wife Gloria.
她以后就叫仙人球了老前辈
Well, She's "Cactus Flower" now, old-timer.
这些个...绰号♥ 都不能改吗
These, uh, these nicknames-- are they set in stone?
好了
Okey-dokey.
准备好了吗枪手
You ready, gunslinger?
我听说这玩意儿不好使唤
I hear word of trouble in these parts.
上膛
Pull!
还行吧杰
That oughta fix it, eh, Jay?
你有两下子
You got a piece of it.
我一直拼命训练
I been practicing like crazy.
所有的牛仔技能
All my cowboy skills--
射击抛绳吃煎饼
Shootin', ropin' pancake eatin'.
为何因为有时候
Why? Because sometimes
我觉得杰不把我当男人
I feel like Jay doesn't respect me as a man.
每当说"菲尔是我女婿"的时候
It just when you say, "Phil is my son-in-law,"
像是说"菲儿是我女婿"
It sound like you're saying, "Phyllis, come up, my son-in-law."
-别傻了 -那好你女婿是谁
- That's ridiculous. - Okay, who's your son-in-law?
菲儿嘛
Phyllis.
我又不是说要个拥抱
I'm not asking for a hug.
我只想要一个肯定的眼神
I just want to get that look a newfound respect.
这样
Like...
或这样
Or...
或者这样
Or... mm.
不错
Yeah.
看好了
Check it out.
一腿二鸟
Two birds, one leg.
上膛
Pull it!
不错吧老前辈
Not bad, eh, old-timer?
快看三指火枪手
Uh, see, Slappy only had three fingers.
什么
What?
三指火枪手
He only had three fingers.
下一个谁来
Who's next?
我我
Oh, me. Me.
这个好这造型酷
Oh, this is good. This is good.
真男人
Tres macho.
不要笑别笑很好
No smile. Don't smile. Good.
准备好了吗
You ready?
等等我是不是该喊"上膛"
Wait, do I say "pull"?
对不起对不起
Sorry, sorry.
米奇尔你还是去水疗馆找曼尼吧
Mitchell, why don't you go find Manny have the spa.
那可比这儿有趣多了
Wouldn't that be more fun?
好的
Yeah.
我终于明白要养一个儿子
I realized that if I was gonna raise a boy,
我首先要爷们儿起来
I needed to butch up my life.
我希望我儿子从我身上学到的东西
You know, I wanted to be able to teach my son
就跟克莱尔从我爸那儿学到的那样
all the things that my dad taught Claire.
你好呀好莱坞
Hey, Hollywood.
我不喜欢这称呼
I don't love that.
想不想看样东西
Wanna see something?
老天你拿的是爆竹吗
Oh, my gosh. Is that a firecracker?
嘘
Shh!
我现在要好好想想要炸什么
Now I just need to find the perfect thing to blow up.
这玩意儿合法吗
Is that thing even legal?
在美国不合法从德国偷渡过来的
Not here. It's from Germany.
如果二战的时候他们有这个
If they had this during the war,
现在咱们就要受德国面卷的祸害了
right now we'd all be knee-deep in strudel.
注意点
Watch it!
你在做什么读书吗
What you doing, eh? You readin'?
欲读不能
Trying to.
我读书也不怎么好
I'm not so good at it either.
-可以预见 -开玩笑的
- I'm not surprised. - That was a joke.
我叫吉米·斯克利瓦诺
I'm Jimmy Scrivano.
想看我跳个炸♥弹♥开花吗
You want to see me do a cannonball?
我倒挺希望你被炸得开花但...
I'd rather see you get hit by one, but...
妞你真幽默
Ha. Good one, gorgeous.
杰马和龙虾一样能吃吗
Jay! Is this like the lobster?!
晚餐能不能宰一头
Do I get to pick one for dinner?