摩登家庭
Modern Family S10E10
Part 2
Nov. 25, 2019, 7:19 p.m.
- Although that rainstorm came out of nowhere. - Yeah.
圣诞快乐 小卡尔
Merry Christmas, little Cal!
莉莉 带你表弟过去玩一会儿
Lily, take your cousin over there. Relax a little.
去吧
Okay, go.
-你好 -你好
- Hi! - Hi!
圣诞老人 不知道你能不能帮我们一个小忙
Hey, Santa. So, just wondering if you could you do us a favor
告诉我们小侄子想要什么圣诞礼物
and tell us what our nephew just asked for for Christmas?
我认识你 你是那个律师
I know you. You're that lawyer.
完了 这么一开头就没好事
Oh, no. This is never good.
你是那个指控我公共场合酗酒的助理地检
You're the ADA who charged me with public intoxication.
给我判了五十个小时社区服务
Got me sentenced to fifty hours community service --
包括为商场扮圣诞老人
working as a mall Santa is part of it.
真的抱歉 我们能大人不记小人过吗
Okay. Well, I'm sorry. But can't we move past that?
我们真的需要知道小侄子想要什么
We really need to know what our nephew asked for.
他想要更宽松的司法体系
He asked for a more lenient justice system.
我不太相信 他立场挺保守派
Well, I doubt that. He's pretty conservative.
我们不能承认关系 只能假装室友
We have to pretend to be roommates.
我们能赶紧的吗
Can we move this along?
这周我只能和孩子待四个小时
I only have my kids for four hours this week.
圣诞快乐 司法万岁
Merry Christmas.
你知道 作为一个前任商场圣诞老人
You know what? As a former mall Santa,
我发过誓不评判一个在岗的圣诞老人
I vowed never to comment on a sitting Santa,
但是你真让这红白制♥服♥丢脸
but you're a disgrace to the red and white.
菲尔 我刚和我爸通完电♥话♥
Phil, I just got off the phone with my dad.
平安夜要挪到我们家过了
We're moving Christmas Eve to our house.
我得赶紧出去买♥♥点杂货
I got to run out and get some groceries.
一会见 拜
See you soon. Bye.
圣诞树呢
Where's the tree?
礼物都到哪去了
Where are the gifts?
我想你取消过圣诞节 因为你发现我...
I assumed you canceled Christmas because you found out that I --
不过我打断你说话了
But I interrupted you.
你♥爸♥是不是把东西拿去卖♥♥♥房♥♥那里了
Did your dad take them to his showing?
他总干这种事 把我的装饰偷拿走
He's always doing this -- he steals my decorations
去布置他卖♥♥的房♥子 增加家庭气息
to stage his houses to make them homier.
他保证过不会再犯的
He swore he would stop doing this!
至少他没拿走"发环"
At least he left the "Wreaf."
是花环
Wreath.
两种发音我都有听人说过啦
Eh, I've heard it both ways.
我也听过 但不代表是对的
No, I have, too. Doesn't make it right.
我们该如何是好
What are we supposed to do?
没有圣诞树 就没法办圣诞节晚宴了
We can't host a Christmas without a tree.
经过去年的事件后 他们不是不准你
I thought you weren't allowed to host Christmas anymore
再办圣诞节晚宴了吗
after last year.
我突发妙想 用创新方法烹饪了火鸡
I took a swing at a new way to prepare turkey.
火鸡都没解冻
Well, this is frozen.
不是的 爸爸 你只是切到了骨头
No, Dad, you just -- you hit a bone.
我从《顶级大厨》学到的
I saw this on "Top Chef."
他们只用一小时就煮好了一整只火鸡
They cooked an entire turkey in one hour.
卢克已经吃了 你还好好的 对吧
Luke had some, you're fine. Aren't you, buddy?
看乔有没有事
Check on Joe.
你♥爸♥不接电♥话♥
Oh, your father isn't answering.
这事你一定知情 对吧
You knew about this, didn't you?
我能看出来你心里藏了秘密
I could tell you were hiding something.
菲尔
Phil?
菲尔
Phil!
菲...
Ph-- Oh!
这间家庭影院完全隔音
This theater is totally soundproof,
所以不会有人听到你大声吼吉姆
so no one will hear you yelling at Jim
叫他把袜子捡起来 桑迪
to pick up his socks, Sandy.
她有时的确"很大声"
She does get loud.
这房♥子优点多多
So, all of this,
而且还在很好的学区里
plus it's in a great school dist...rict.
老天 这房♥子刚被抢劫了吗
Oh my God, was this house just robbed?
我就跟你说这一区很乱吧
I told you this was a sketchy area.
我不要再经历一次入室抢劫
I am not going through another home invasion
而我和孩子们在安全屋外狂锤门你都不开
with the kids and me banging on the panic room door.
你们慢慢聊 我看看
So, you guys chat, and I'll, uh, take a minute,
能不能找到替代的圣诞树
see if I can find a replacement tree
以及九份包装纸一模一样的礼物
and nine identically wrapped gifts.
这办法一定能让你妈心情变好
It's the perfect way to get your mom in a good mood.
你想想啊 杯子蛋糕就是小蛋糕
Think about it -- cupcakes are little cakes
就像婴儿就是小人儿
just like babies are little people.
应该吧
I guess.
我只是希望一切能顺利进行
I just want this to go well.
怀了这个孩子 我很开心
I'm in a really good place with this baby,
我希望妈妈也为此开心
and I want my mom to be, too.
她今早心情不是很好
She wasn't in the best mood this morning.
今天是平安夜
It's Christmas Eve.
她不可能一整天都像变相怪杰一样脸色发青
She can't stay a Grinch all day.
谢谢 我跟除虫人员联♥系♥过了
Thank you. That was the exterminator.
他马上赶过来
He is, uh, on his way,
但除虫那几天 他得用帐篷把房♥子围起来
but he's gonna have to tent the house for a couple of days.
我打算给我们订酒店
And I'm trying to book us a hotel,
但电♥话♥总断线
but the call keeps dropping.
乔 我们到后院去 那里信♥号♥♥比较好
Joe, let's go to the backyard. There's better reception.
听着 我有东西落屋里了
Hey, listen. I left something inside.
你得去帮我拿出来 这应该能保你平安
I need you to get it for me. This should keep you safe.
你疯了吗 我才不要回去那个蜘蛛巢穴
Are you crazy? I'm not going back into that spider's nest.
好吧 我也讨厌蜘蛛
Fine, I hate them, too.
问题是 我身上的雄性麝香会吸引它们
The problem is, they're attracted to my musk.
前不久我到动物园里的昆虫间
I went to the insect room at the zoo a while back,
它们马上像犯人一样开始狂拍玻璃
and they all started banging on the glass like inmates.
你落什么在屋里了 这么重要
What'd you leave in there that's so important?
是药
It's a medication.
我没事 但我没告诉你妈
I'm fine, but I didn't tell your mom
因为我不想她担心
'cause I didn't want her to worry.
我们不能顺路到酒水商店
Can we just stop by a liquor store
帮你加满"处方药"吗
and refill your "Prescription."
都说了是药 听着
It's a medicine! Look...
我们住的酒店一定有顶级水疗
I'm sure our hotel has a top notch spa.
也许还能加个热石按♥摩♥
One that might add a, uh, hot stone massage,
和花草浸浴
an herbal soak...
我像是会被物质收买♥♥的人吗
Do I look like someone who can be bought?
不像 但你看起来应该会喜欢
No, but you do look like someone who might enjoy
四手巴厘岛式海藻按♥摩♥
a four-handed Balinese seaweed swaddle.
你个奸诈的老混♥蛋♥
You son of a bitch.
卡尔 你跟圣诞老人聊什么啦
So, Cal, what did you and Santa talk about?
那是秘密
It's a secret.
我 现金就行
Me, I'd be fine with just cash.
你们要烦心的事够多了 给你们减轻负担
You guys have enough on your plate.
你也别想自己去买♥♥个电♥话♥ 好吧
Okay, you're not buying yourself a phone, all right?
圣诞老人休息了
Ooh, Santa's on break.
莉莉 去和卡尔坐在一起
Okay, Lily, go sit with Cal again.
你们要我帮忙 好歹加个请字吧
You guys need me -- maybe throw a please in there.
-好的 嗨 -嗨
- Yeah. Hi! - Hi!
真的是一年中最美好的时刻
Oh, it really is the most wonderful time of the year.
-真美好 -不是吗 你介不介意
- Beautiful. - Isn't it? So, listen, do you mind if --
你们觉得你们是第一个
Do you think you're the first parents
想偷看我名册的家长吗
wanting to take a peek at my scroll?
最好在我的靴子[屁♥股♥]里塞点东西
Better stick something in my bootie.
-哇 哇 -什么鬼
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. - I'm sorry. What?
塞钱在我鞋子里 变♥态♥
Cash in the slipper, perv.
-你 -嗯 我有
- Oh. Do you wanna... - Yeah, yeah, I got -- I got,
我有十块
uh -- I've got $10.
谢谢
Thank you.
不 这只是玩具列表
No, this is just a list of toys.
孩子的名字没在上面
None of the kids' names are next to them.
你知道吗
Oh, oh. You know what?
我们看下卡尔排队的照片
Uh, we'll look at pictures of Cal in line
把他之后的孩子
and then match the kids up behind him
和单子上的玩具连在一起
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