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Modern Family S10E05

Part 2 Nov. 25, 2019, 7:19 p.m.

-人生真不公平 -说得对
- Life is so unfair. - Damn right.
我刚刚在街角排队
I just waited in a line around the block
买♥♥到网红特大号♥三明治
for a hoagie everybody's talking about.
就突然得知我前妻死了
Then my ex-wife drops dead,
现在我很难过吃不下了
and I'm too sad to eat it.
过一小时再吃好了
I'll give it another hour.
你还真"惨"啊杰
Oh, I'm so sorry for your loss, Jay.
我不知道为什么觉得拿这个出来会有帮助
I don't know why I thought getting this out would help.
那是什么
What is that?
外婆找人做了一些自己的小人偶
Nana had these little statues of herself made.
圣诞节时送给了我们当礼物
They were her Christmas gift to each of us.
我觉得她用我名义在非洲挖的井没那么傻了
Now I feel better about my stupid well in Africa.
你糖吃得很凶啊
Hey. Hitting that candy pretty hard.
上一根棒棒糖你连糖纸一起吞了
You didn't even take the wrapper off the last one.
我很难过闭嘴
I'm sad. Shut up.
我听说在万圣节那天死的人
I heard that if you die on Halloween,
会变成丧尸复活
you come back as a zombie.
我能想象得出来
I can see that.
外婆狰狞嘶吼
Nana would be all,
"我要吃脑
"Braaainnssss!
这个没脑我要吃脑"
Nope. Braaainnsss!"
我记得外婆
I just remember Nana --
我们小的时候她会...
when we were little, she would --
她会...
She would --
老天你们俩是什么奇葩啊
Oh, my God! What is wrong with you two?!
-干嘛 -我们外婆刚刚去世了
- What? - ‭Our grandmother just died.
卢克在开些没品的笑话
Luke's over here making tasteless jokes,
而你像猪一样猛吃
and you're stuffing your face.
能不能尊重一下她
Show some respect!
你们外婆去世了我很遗憾
I am so sorry, what happened to your grandmother.
她是个很棒的女人
She was a wonderful woman.
谢谢你歌♥洛莉亚
Thank you, Gloria.
终于有人有点正常反应了
Finally, someone with a normal reaction.
外婆不是曾经三次试图勒死你吗
Didn't Nana try to strangle you three times?
是但其中一次
Yeah, but one of those times,
我濒死时有一刹那再次看到了我
I was able to see again my favorite abuela
最爱的祖母
for one second.
所以我真该感谢迪迪
So I really should thank Dede.
总之我和你们外婆之间的矛盾
Anyways, any issues that your grandmother had with me,
都过去了
they're behind her.
她现在得到了安宁去了一个更好的地方
She's at peace. She's living in a better place.
那他妈是什么鬼
What the hell is that?!
很逼真吧外婆送的圣诞礼物
Mm. Pretty lifelike, right? Christmas gift from Nana.
是吗很可爱
Ah, it's very cute.
不过真不可思议我走到哪
But it's amazing how her eyes are --
她眼睛都盯着我
are following me wherever I go!
我知道这话听起来挺疯的
I know that this is going to sound crazy,
不过我一直担心迪迪死后
but I have always worried that when Dede died,
会化成厉鬼回来缠着我
she was going to come back and haunt me.
可能是因为我结婚时她在我耳边这么说过
Maybe it's because she whispered it to me at my wedding.
万圣节快乐
Happy Halloween.
真可爱
Cute.
你还好吗
You okay?
还好啦我就是在想
Yeah, I was just thinking about
跟妈妈度过的一次超赞万圣节
this great Halloween with Mom.
我在高中的时候融入不进大家
I wasn't really fitting in in high school,
所以妈妈带我去了
so Mom took me to go get ice cream
在西好莱坞区的一家冰激凌店
at this place in West Hollywood.
而当时那里有同性恋游♥行♥
And the parade was going on.
在那之前我从没去过任何同性恋活动
And before that, I had never been to a gay event.
不给糖就捣蛋
Trick or treat!
给你万圣节快乐
Here you go. Happy Halloween.
我的重点是
The thing is,
她并没有逼我谈同性恋的事
she didn't force me to talk about it.
她就顺其自然你懂吗
She just let it be. You know?
我想那大概就是她在告诉我
And I-I think that that was her way of saying
她可以接受我性向
that she was okay with me. ‭
我还记得妈妈曾对我说
I remember once Mom told me
我吃冰激凌的方式像个妓♥女♥
that I ate ice cream like a prostitute.
靠
Ugghh, come on. ‭
为什么等到现在
Wh-Why haven't we heard anything yet
都还不知道她到底怎么去世的
about what happened to her?
也太扯了吧
This is ridiculous!
对啊失去母亲已经够残酷了
I know. It's bad enough we lost our mom.
我们现在还得在这自己乱瞎猜
Now we just have to sit here expecting the worst.
好像听到有一些吼声
Uh, heard some raised voices,
-就来确定... -你们俩都去哪了
- just making... - Where have you guys been?
不知道你们俩有没注意到
Yeah, I don't know if you've noticed,
但我们今天正在为一些事情难过
but we're kind of going through something today.
是你们说想要一点私人空间
Well, you s-said you wanted some space,
-所以我们给你们... -开始跟我们摆道理了吗
- so we were giving you... - So now you're gonna logic us to death?
真棒啊我们现在就想听人说我们无理取闹
Yeah, yeah, 'cause that's what we need right now.
我完全迷糊了
I am totally confused
-不知道该怎么处理他俩 -我有个主意
- about what we're supposed to do. - No. I have an idea.
米奇尔刚刚才说到跟妈妈那段
Mitchell was just talking about a great memory he had
去西好莱坞吃冰激凌的美好回忆
of Dede taking him for ice cream in West Hollywood.
我们可以去帮他买♥♥ 这算是完美的致意了
We could go pick some up -- it would be a perfect tribute.
好棒啊
That's great.
而且我不知为何就...
Plus, I don't know why, but there's --
就觉得克莱尔吃冰激凌的方式
there's something about the way Claire eats ice cream
让我感到十分... 享受
that I just...enjoy.
真希望我还记得那家店叫什么名字
I just wish I could remember the name of it.
-我在查安德森·一勺珀 -不是
- I'm on it. Anderson Scooper? - No.
安德森·库珀深受同志群体喜爱的帅气新闻主播
沙漠妖"基"冰激凌
Priscilla Queen of the Desserts?
改自知名电影主题是3名异装皇后
"冰"特与恩尼
Mnh-mnh. Sherbert and Ernie?
毕特与恩尼是《芝麻街》的角色
有许多人认为他俩是同性♥伴♥侣♥
我记得名字是很具体的
Mnh-mnh. It was something very specific.
西好莱坞冰激凌店吗
West Hollywood Ice Cream Shop?
-就是这家走吧 -这不是真的吧
- That's it. Let's go. - This can't be happening.
杰我明白你很难接受
Ohh. ‭Aw, Jay, it's a hard day.
你们说说
Tell me.
我在冰箱里放了一个写我名字的三明治
I put a sandwich in there with my name on it
才放了10分钟现在就不见了
10 minutes ago, and now it's missing.
-谁他妈吃了 -不是吧今天这种日子
- Who the hell took it?! - Really? On a day like today,
你居然要为一个三明治火冒三丈吗
you can get this worked up over a sandwich?
-过来 -没事的
- Come here. - Hey. It's okay.
你在闻我们的味道
You're smelling us.
我闻到了愧疚与腌黄瓜味
I smell guilt and pickles.
抱歉消防员的习惯
Sorry, fireman habit.
你妈妈说你在楼上待着
Your mom said you were up here.
你真是最好的男朋友了
You're the best boyfriend.
这是你外婆吧
That's her, huh?
是的
Yep.
很多人说她很难相处
People said she was difficult,
但她真的是个很棒的女人
but she was an amazing woman
从来不让别人的话
who didn't conform to anyone's idea
影响自己追求本心
of who she should be.
有好多她被人赶出场的照片啊
There are a lot of photos of her being escorted out of places.
是啊
Yeah.
也算好事吧能知道她...
Well, it must feel good to know that --
我不是指真的好事这事情很糟糕
I mean not good. Everything must feel bad.
对不起我不太会面对死亡这件事
I'm sorry. I'm bad at this whole death thing.
尽管我在工作中会常常面对死亡
And I see a lot of it at work.
真的大家每次都不去喂队宠小金鱼
I mean, nobody ever feeds the station goldfish.
不只是你觉得难以面对
It's not just hard for you.
我弟弟一直疯狂在开冷笑话
My brother can't stop cracking jokes,
我姐姐像要冬眠前的熊一样在疯狂大吃
my sister's eating like a bear about to hibernate,
而与此同时我只能坐在这想着
and meanwhile, I'm just sitting here thinking,
"世事无常前一秒人还在一转眼就...
"Wow, you're here one second, and then poof...