摩登家庭
Modern Family S10E06
Part 3
Nov. 25, 2019, 7:19 p.m.
当然 我大概能在我外公的俱乐部
Yeah, I can probably get us in
弄到打烊前用餐的座位名额
to the late seating at my grandpa's country club.
你能等到六点半吗
Can you hold off 'ti:30?
其实 我在想
Actually, I thought
也许我可以去你家给你做饭吃
maybe I could come over and cook for you.
太棒了
Awesome.
这不是我最喜欢的班级爸爸吗
Hey, there's my favorite class dad!
你好啊
Oh, hey. Hey.
帮我系下围裙 好吗
Tie my apron, will you?
我的荣幸
My pleasure.
不 不是我的荣幸[舒服] 当然不是
Uh, not my -- not my pleasure, of course.
这听起来太奇怪了
That sounds weird,
而我不是奇怪的人
and I'm not a weird man.
米奇和小卡搅乱了我的心
Mitch and Cam got in my head.
我本来和那个有趣妈妈有一段完全无害的关系
I'd had a perfectly innocent relationship with the fun mom,
结果被他们弄得我老有负罪感
but then they got me feeling all guilty.
突然间我在学校提到的每件事
Suddenly I couldn't mention one thing in that school
听起来都像是双关语
without it sounding like a double entendre.
"睡觉"时间
Nap time?
乐趣"地带"
Fun zone?
盒装[阴♥部♥]果汁
Juice box...
我有鲜嫩多汁的番茄呢
I got some nice tomatoes.
好
Oh, yep.
-你是不是弄洒了什么 -没有
- Did you spill something? - Huh? No.
我只是在很用心地做披萨
I'm just working hard on this pizza.
我想我得把这个取下来
Guess I ought to take this off.
天啊 没了戒指感觉像裸体了一样
Boy, feels naked without it.
你有过这种感觉吗 像裸体了一样
You ever feel that way? Naked?
我真心想相信乔有戴着他的眼罩
I really wanted to trust that Joe was wearing his eye patch,
但是自从在垃圾箱里发现眼罩之后
but after finding it in the garbage,
我必须得来确认
I had to make sure.
我不想让他把视力给毁了
I didn't want him to mess up his vision.
我认为在这个国家 视力是一个很重要的问题
I think it's a big problem in this country.
我所到之处 总有眯着眼看的男人
Everywhere I look, there are men with googily eyes.
我们来自♥拍♥吧
Let's take a selfie
是给学校期刊拍的
for the school newsletter, so...
所以显出那对蓝眼睛来
Flash those baby blues.
你给我的烤箱[子♥宫♥]预热了吗
Did you preheat my oven?
我不是故意的
Not on purpose.
你刚才反应可真不小啊
Well, that was quite a little snitfit back there.
你是想要让我出丑 还是怎么了
Were you trying to embarrass me, or...?
还能有让你更出丑的事吗
Mm, is that even possible?
要赢过在餐厅唱歌♥
The singing in the restaurants,
或者按♥摩♥时为广♥告♥的"试音"可不容易啊
your Herbal Essence audition during the massage?
你知道吗 你才是应该羞愧的那个人
You know, you're the one who should be embarrassed.
我的确感到了羞愧 这不正是吵架的原因吗
I am. Isn't that what we're fighting about?
看看你自己 你甚至不敢
Look at you. You can't even put on
在男士换衣间里
your boxer-briefs in a men's locker room
不用遮羞毛巾小短裙就穿上四角裤
without your little terrycloth shame skirt.
这叫做有涵养 小卡
It's called modesty, Cam.
你能把声音放小点儿吗
Can you please just keep your voice down?
好吧 你知道吗 这都是
Yeah, yeah. You know what? Well, it's all
同样的事
part of the same thing.
你知道吗 我一点都不尴尬
You know, I'm not embarrassing.
你就是个无论做什么都会尴尬的人
You're the one that's just embarrassed by everything.
简直是神经病啊
That is crazy --
-感觉这一撞很值得呢 -我很好
- This seems worth it. - I'm fine.
不 你不好 而这影响了我们所有人
No, you're not, and it's affecting all of us.
你总是让我和莉莉闭嘴
You're constantly shushing Lily and me,
责骂我们就因为我们活得大声
scolding us just for living out loud.
我们就不能晚点再说这件事吗
Can we please have this conversation later?
不 不能 因为我会忙着
No, we can't, because I'll be busy
在父亲节目中演出
performing in Fathers' Follies --
另一件因为你太扭捏而不敢做的事
something else you're too self-conscious to do.
你错过了生活 米奇尔
You're missing out on life, Mitchell.
你得不再那么拘束自己
You need to take off your shackles.
让人们看见
Let people see
你是谁
who you are.
我受够了 闪躲的眼神 那些谎言
I've had enough -- the wandering eye, the lies.
我为什么这么紧张 我什么都没做错
Why was I so nervous? I had done nothing wrong.
好吧 我确实有开一些无害的邮件玩笑
Sure, I engaged in some friendly e-mail banter.
我想我意识到了蓝色衣服能衬托我的蓝眼珠
I guess I realized blue shirts make my eyes sparkle.
披萨派对开始前 也许还在停车场
Might have done a few push-ups in the parking lot
做了几个俯卧撑 但那是给所有人看的
before the pizza party, but that's for everybody.
他就是把我当傻瓜
He's trying to make a fool of me.
索尼娅 我得挂了
Sonia, I have to go.
你一整天都到哪里去了
Where have you been all day?
我明白你在暗示什么了 好吧
I see what you're implying. Fine.
她的名字是劳拉 她对我来说什么都不是
Her name is Laura, she means nothing to me,
我把婚戒取掉的唯一原因
and the only reason my wedding ring is off
是我怕戒指丢在她的"面团"里
is 'cause I was afraid I would lose it in her dough.
对不起
I'm sorry.
你到底在说什么
What the hell are you talking about?
几封邮件 完全无害的小玩笑罢了
Couple of e-mails. Harmless stuff.
"把车停在秋千那 好帮你把东西拿进来"
"Park by the swings so I can help you carry stuff in."
你就在担心这些啊
These are what you're worrying about?
这些什么都不是啊
There's nothing there.
是吗 米奇和小卡在暗示
Yeah, Mitch and Cam were implying
我跟她之间有不寻常的事情
there was something weird going on.
怎么可能嘛
That's crazy.
她才35岁 还貌美如花
She's, like, 35 and gorgeous.
就是啊
Exactly.
不过 我想你念邮件时
Although, I don't think you read that e-mail
没念出它本身的语气
the only way it could have been read.
其实是这种语气
I mean, it could've gone,
"把车停在秋千那
"Park by the swings
好帮你把东西拿"进"来"
so I can help you carry stuff in."
听上去她知道你背不好
Sounds like she knows about your bad back.
杰 小撩一下无伤大雅
Jay, there's no harm in a little flirting,
-特别是你 -此话怎讲
- especially you. - What is that supposed to mean?
你是个好人 你体内自带警报系统
You're a good man. You have, like, a built-in alarm system.
不会让你行差踏错
It keeps you in the right path.
那你在学校为什么那样瞪我
Then why did you shoot me that look at school?
我那是在瞪乔
It was meant for Joe.
我担心他没有你那种强烈的道德心
I worry that he doesn't have your strong conscience.
我害怕他遗传了我家的基因
I worry that he has my family genes
我们说谎都不打草稿
where we can lie and lie and lie and lie
而且不会有丝毫愧疚
without feeling one ounce of guilt.
但你平时没对我说谎吧
Y-You don't lie to me, though, do you?
从没有过
Never.
他来了 我猜他一定会进来
Here he is now. I'll bet he comes in here
为自己说谎道歉
and apologizes for lying.
前提是他遗传了你们家的正直基因
Yeah, if he's like one from your family.
但如果他进来 像个没事人一样
But if he walks in here all easy-breezy
假装自己没做错过任何事
pretending that he didn't do anything wrong,
那他就是百分百拉米雷兹家的人
he's 100% Ramirez,
或者这也不是我们真正的姓
or whatever our real name is.
儿子
Hey, buddy.
对不起 行了吗
I'm sorry, okay?!
戴眼罩的事我说谎了
I lied about wearing my eye patch,
那还只是一系列谎言的开始
and that's only the beginning!
我自行车怎么坏的 我说谎了
I lied about how my bike broke.
我从没遛过斯黛拉
I never walk Stella.
我把她拴在跑步机上
I tie her to the treadmill.
我之前放在枕头底下的三颗掉牙
The last three teeth I put under my pillow
其实都是薄荷糖
were Tic-Tacs.
我是个无可救药的男孩
I'm a terrible boy.
太好了
Oh, good.
他跟你一样软弱
He's weak like you.
疯狂爸爸世界
谢谢你 蒂凡尼的爸爸
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