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Modern Family S10E04

Part 4 Nov. 25, 2019, 7:19 p.m.

我还要建议你下次去做有逃生门那排呢
Well, I suggest, next time, you ask about an exit row.
虽然还是可能得做到中间排但好歹够伸腿
It could still be a middle seat, but you'd have more leg room.
你给我走
You have to go!
够了停止打架或者随便怎样
Enough! Stop fighting or whatever this is.
阿尔文你在这里啊
Arvin! There you are!
你也好啊迪兰
Oh. Hi, Dylan.
如往常一般容光焕发啊邓菲太太
Radiant as ever, Mrs. D.
海莉赶紧让他滚啊
Haley, tell him to leave.
我来试试缓解这场面吧
Let me see if I can defuse the situation.
妈老爸别再插手我的人生
Mom, Dad, stop meddling in my life.
现在都出去
Outside now!
-行吧 -立刻
- All right. - Now!
好好好
Okay. Okay.
快帮忙我不知道该怎么办了
Help me. I don't know what to do.
我的面具
My mask!
我们真的超级对不起
We are so, so sorry.
我试过要挡住他了
I tried to block him.
他假动作骗我去救玻璃青蛙了
He faked going for the glass frog.
我真不敢相信
I can't believe it.
深呼吸宝贝深呼吸
Breathe, honey. Breathe.
我们能修好吗
Can we fix it?
不一定啊你有没有非洲第一高峰上
Oh, I don't know. Do you happen to have any clay
因融雪而成的黏土呢
from the melted runoff of Kilimanjaro?
因为它就是用这材料做的
Because that's what it's made of!
这是我们第一次去坦桑尼亚时得到的
We got it on our first trip to Tanzania.
被治好他牛皮癣的萨满所加持过
It was blessed by the shaman that healed his psoriasis.
我们很乐意去找替代品补偿你的损失
Of course we'll be happy to pay to replace it.
这东西无可替代
It's irreplaceable!
天啊
Oh, my God.
又开始发作了
It's back. Oh.
我们真觉得道再多歉也不够
We cannot apologize enough.
这话可能还真说对了
That's probably true.
我去弄午饭
I'll go get lunch.
惨了这真的很糟糕
Okay, this is a disaster.
但你可还有留意到他有提起
I know, but is any part of you still hearing
"第一次去坦桑尼亚时"
"first trip to Tanzania"?
他就差一点就要把那个案子给我了
He was just about to offer me the case I want.
没事以后还会有别的案子
Well, there'll be other cases.
不行这案子牵扯到一个音乐制♥作♥人
No. This one involves a music producer,
一个高级伴♥游♥ 还有非法武器销♥售♥
an escort, and illegal arms sales, okay?
我想要将他们绳之以法
I want to bring them to justice.
而且他们已经卖♥♥出了电影翻拍版权
Plus, they've already sold the movie rights.
有可能会是帅哥男星瑞恩·高斯林演我呢
I could be played by Ryan Gosling.
是是是亲爱的要胸怀大志
That's it, honey. Aim high.
天啊这下怎么办
Oh, my God. What can we do?
我们该怎么解释
What can we do?
-快点快咬我脚踝 -你说什么
- Quick. Bite my ankle. ‭- Excuse me?
快点趁他们回来之前咬这样我就能说
Hurry, before they come back. I'm gonna tell them
是狗咬了我这样面具的事就能抵消了
the dog did it. It'll cancel out the mask.
快咬
Just do it.
大力点得留下伤痕
Harder. It needs to scar me.
这绝对给我心灵留下了伤痕
It's definitely scarring me.
得让他们相信是狗咬的
They need to believe a dog did it.
这个嘛... 如果你们...
Oh. Well, if you're --
如果你们午饭要让我们等这么久
you're gonna make us wait so long to eat,
看到这一幕也不算什么奇怪的事吧
this shouldn't come as a surprise.
歌♥洛莉亚快来看
Gloria, come here!
你一定得来看她太出色了
You got to see this. She's on fire.
你快瞧瞧
Now, check this out.
我能给她出任何题
I can throw anything at her,
她都能瞬间演得超爆笑
and she can make comedy gold out of it.
来
Here. Um...
约翰·特拉沃尔塔在潜水艇里
John Travolta in a submarine.
懂了吧因为潜艇里很狭窄
Yeah, because a submarine is small.
该男星在著名电影《周末夜狂热》中的经典舞步
歌♥洛莉亚你说得真对她超搞笑
You were right, Gloria. She's hilarious.
再来一题吧
Do another one. Um...
霸王龙打排球
T. Rex in a volleyball game.
你看看
Look at that.
霸王龙的小短手很难杀球
It's hard to spike with little arms.
杰能借一步说话吗
Jay, can I talk to you in there for a second?
行行行没问题
Yeah, yeah. All right.
我马上回来
I'll be right back.
太好笑了
What a hoot!
你耍什么阴招呢老鬼
What is your game, old man?
没招啊我超喜欢
Nothing. I'm loving this.
我现在只怕她哪天火了会想搬走
My only fear is that she might hit it big and leave us.
你当我傻啊
You think I'm an idiot?
没人会觉得刚才的表演好笑
Nobody thinks that that is funny.
你说实话你明明比我更想要她滚蛋
Be honest -- you want her out of here more than I do.
行但我不想当那种
Okay, fine, but I don't want to be the mother
讨厌自己儿子女朋友的妈妈
that hates her son's girlfriends.
我也不想再当家里那个坏人了
I don't want to be the villain anymore.
但这是你的职责啊
But that's your job.
我是负责安静有趣的母亲
I am the quiet and fun one.
你是没看到她模仿你的样子吗
Have you not heard her impression of you?
像到爆♥炸♥
It's dead-on.
你想把她赶走你就自己动手
You want to get rid of her, you do it.
不需要因为我假装喜欢她的持续力
I won't have to, because I can pretend
将会比你长很多
that I like Sherry longer than you can.
你会先受不了的
You will crack first.
你会先受不了的
You will crack first!
雪莉你不能住这里了
Sherry, you cannot stay here.
什么为什么啊
What? Why?
因为你快把我逼疯了
Because you're driving me crazy.
我还以为你挺喜欢我呢
But I thought you liked me.
孩子我也不知道说什么她很难相处
What can I say, kid? She's rough.
我去帮你拿行李
Let me get your bag.
我回来啦你们猜怎么着
‭Hey, I'm back! Guess what.
我以前帮主任写的那些书法有回报了
All that calligraphy I've done for the dean paid off.
他说我可以跟你住一起了
He said you can stay with me.
你妈妈刚说她讨厌我
Your mom just told me she hates me.
妈你为什么会说这种话
Mom, why would you say that?
落幕
And scene!
为什么我不能叫迪兰走
Why can't I tell Dylan to leave?
因为你对你人生首次真心成熟
Because you are scared of the first real, adult relationship
对象还完美的恋情感到惶恐所以想躲回旧爱
with the perfect man, and you're clinging to the past.
也可能你跟迪兰有着十分特别的缘分
Or you and Dylan have a special connection
而且你还爱着他
and you still love him.
完全没帮到我
Not helping.
天啊他们俩都是很好的男人
God, they're both such great guys,
但型真的好不一样
but they're so different.
我到底该怎么选啊
How am I supposed to choose?
你们当时怎么选中彼此的
How did you guys do it?
乖女儿我...
Well, sweetheart, I --
这题我真是帮不上你了
I'm not gonna be any help here.
从我见到你妈妈的那一秒我就抛弃了选择
From the minute I met your mom, there was no choice.
她聪明又坚强
She was smart. She was strong.
她对父亲的怨恨恰好够爱上我这样的人
She resented her father just enough to go for a guy like me.
她... 她让我的人生得到了平衡
She -- She gave my life balance,
我现在早已无法想象失去她会如何
and now I can't imagine it without her.
而且她...
Also, she's --
真的长得超正
she's crazy hot.
老妈
Mom?
首先呢
Well, first of all, um,
我对能说出刚才那种话的男人没抵抗力
I'm a sucker for guys who say things like that.
你♥爸♥爸是我见过人最好最积极正面的人
Your dad is the nicest, most positive person I know,
他总能帮我找到生命中的那些欢乐
and he always helps me find the fun in life.
而且他... 现在看起来还是超顺眼的呢
And, uh, he is still real easy on the peepers.
我们真的很幸运呢
Aww. We really are lucky.
对啊