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Modern Family S10E02
Part 2
Nov. 25, 2019, 7:18 p.m.
Canada is good for a lot of things,
但他们最大的出口品就是虚构女友
but their number-one export is fake girlfriends.
没错 基本已经形成共识了
Yeah, it's kind of a thing.
小卡和我出柜前 也各自有过加拿大女友
Uh, before Cam and I came out, we each had Canadian girlfriends.
你们想说什么 曼尼是同性恋吗
So, what are you saying now? That Manny's gay?
我们可没这么说 但他确实符合一些特征
We weren't, but he does check a few of the boxes.
拜托 看看他
Come on. Look at him.
他和从卡塔赫纳游到休斯顿的偷渡线路一样直
He's as straight as the swim from Cartagena to Houston.
旅途棒极了 我做了最调皮的事
The trip was amazing, and I did the cheekiest thing.
均为音乐剧
一般被视作同性恋符号♥之一
我在俄克拉荷马州看了《俄克拉荷马》
I saw "Oklahoma!" In Oklahoma,
在芝加哥看了《芝加哥》 然后
"Chicago" In Chicago, and then,
音乐剧《音乐人》中的虚构城市
我在河畔城遇上了些小麻烦
I got in a little trouble in River City.
够了 那是我听过的最基的事了
Okay, that's the gayest thing I've ever heard,
我可是在西好莱坞做过狗狗美容师
and I shampooed dogs in West Hollywood.
他交过很多女朋友
He's had so many girlfriends.
上一个是20多岁的成熟♥女♥性
The last one was a woman in her 20s.
但你不是说过 当她来留宿时
Yeah, but didn't you say he was so sweet when she stayed over
他总是很贴心地主动睡沙发
he offered to sleep on the couch?
那又怎样
So what?
我的第一个男友就和他同龄
My first boyfriend at his age,
他也没准备好和我上♥床♥
he wasn't ready to sleep with me.
那他现在怎么样了
And what does he do now?
他开了一家很温馨的民宿旅馆
He runs a very nice bed and breakfast.
-和... -和...
- With...? - With...?
和他的好朋友斯蒂文一起
His good friend Steven!
闭嘴
Shut up!
如果曼尼背着这样的秘密 那我真的很同情他
I-I really feel for Manny if he's wrestling with this secret.
但你却不介意16年来对我隐瞒你不忠的秘密
Yet you had no problem keeping an indiscretion from me for 16 years.
-又开始了 -没错
- And off we go. - Yeah.
就像那天给你送了两个包裹的
Just like the shorts of that beefy UPS driver
健壮快递员的短裤
that delivered you two packages that day.
事情不是那样的
Wow, that is not what happened!
所以你承认有事发生过
So, you admit something happened!
好吧 我会全部告诉你
Okay, I'm gonna tell you everything
因为事情比你脑补的要无害多了
'cause it is so much tamer than what's in your head.
-好啊 -我们开始交往后六周
- Okay. - Six weeks into our relationship,
在我们确定专一关系前
before we decided we were exclusive,
我在酒吧亲了一个人
I kissed someone in a bar.
-根本不严重 -很严重好吗
- See, it's not a big deal. - Okay, yes, it is a big deal,
正因此 同一时期 我才会拒绝了
which is why I rejected a very similar advance at the same time
一个名人的追求
from a celebrity,
但我不会告诉你对方是谁
but I'm not gonna tell you who that is,
因为我不想令你感到不安
because I don't want you to feel insecure.
小卡 我们都知道你马上
Cam, we both know you're seconds away
著名时尚设计师 电视主持人
-就要告诉我了 -是艾萨克·米兹拉
- from telling me -- - It was Isaac Mizrahi!
是的 没错
Yeah, that's right.
辛迪·克劳馥的朋友啊
Cindy Crawford's friend!
你在这儿呢
There you are.
你回来后我们还没好好聊聊
We haven't had a chance to talk about anything since you got back.
和我说说你的新加拿大女友
So, tell me about this new Canadian girlfriend.
她既聪明又谦虚 既漂亮又随和
Well, she's brilliant, but humble, beautiful, but accessible,
是我见过最有趣的人之一
one of the funniest people I've ever met,
同时也很深沉
but, also, deeply serious.
多么优美 笼统的描述
Ah, such lovely, general terms.
她听起来好得有些不真实了
She sounds a little bit too good to be true.
她叫什么名字
What is her name?
雪莉·桃久奇
It's Sherry Shaker.
雪莉酒 调酒器
Sherry Shaker?
你面前吧台上就摆着这两样东西
Those are the two things that are in front of you at this bar.
太巧了
Delightful!
曼尼 你心底有没有什么事想告诉我
Manny... is there anything that you need to tell me?
或许是与 性相关的
Maybe some kind of... sexual thing?
我真的不想谈这个
I really don't want to talk about this.
好吧 宝贝 但是你知道我爱你
Okay, papi, but you know I love you
任何事你都可以实话告诉我 对吧
and that you can be honest with me about anything, right?
既然这样 那我直说了 这太暴露了
In that case... This is a lot.
我倒是麻木无感了
I'm pretty desensitized to it,
但我看到卢克走路都撞到墙上了
but I saw Luke walk into a wall.
你们在笑什么
What are you guys laughing at?
不用在意
Oh, I wouldn't worry about it.
你讲了个笑话 对吧
You said something funny, didn't you?
这家伙是个笑话机器
The guy's a joke machine!
-这个位子有人坐了 -谁
- Oh, someone's sitting there. - Who?
不会问那么多问题的人
Someone who doesn't ask a million questions.
外公 你可以和我们一起坐
Grandpa, you can sit with us.
棒极了
Great.
那办法奏效了 但我内心也深受折磨
It was working, but it was killing me.
我曾经真的做过很多梦 梦中唯一发生的事就是
I've actually had dreams where the only thing happening
我和杰坐在一起
was me sitting with Jay while he, you know,
他揉着我的头发叫我"好小子"
tousles my hair, calling me "sport."
亲爱的 恭喜你
Congrats, honey.
庆祝你获奖 总是令我很骄傲
Always proud to celebrate one of your awards.
我没有获奖
I didn't win an award.
那我们都是来干什么的
Well, then, what are we all doing here?
我很忙的
I'm a busy man!
-你现在不是只打高尔夫吗 -我在下雨天才工作
- Don't you just golf now? - I work when it's raining.
为什么我要在你面前替自己辩解
Why am I defending myself to you?
为什么你♥爸♥看我不爽
And why is your father mad at me?
-我做错了什么吗 -很有可能
- Did I do something? - Probably.
但你们的关系不就是这样吗
Isn't that your relationship?
他总是渴望你的认可 而你总是打击他
He's always desperate for your approval and you shoot him down?
本该如此才对啊 但是突然他就
It's supposed to be, but all of a sudden, he's, like...
变冷漠了
all cold.
都不让我和他坐在一起
Wouldn't let me sit with him.
跟戏多的高中生一样
Ugh, so high school.
那天晚上我爸和我一起看了《贱女孩》
Dad and I watched "Mean Girls" the other night,
重温可怕的高中 让我咬断了一撮头发
and I chewed off a piece of my hair reliving how awful it was.
等一下
Wait.
电影里 女主角打败贱女孩大姐大的办法
In the movie, the heroine takes down the head mean girl
就是对她更贱
by being mean to her.
也许我爸也在对你用这招
Maybe that's what Dad is doing to you?
混♥蛋♥
Son of a bitch.
菲尔以为他能用《贱女孩》的套路对付我
Phil thinks he can "Mean Girls" Me?
这也太弱鸡了 让我告诉你些事
How lame is that? Let me tell you something --
我或许天生丽质难自弃 但我不达胜利不罢休
I might be a pretty face, but I fight to win.
就像《律政俏佳人》里一样
Just like "Legally Blonde"!
你没有在盯着手♥机♥看
Oh, you're not looking at your phone.
-你没事吧 -当然 我没事
- Is everything okay? - Yeah, everything's fine.
如果你有心事
You know, if something was on your mind,
我是个很好的倾诉对象
I'm an excellent person to confide in.
从不评判
No judgment.
我也做过一些不光彩的事
God knows I've done some stuff I'm not proud of.
比如说呢
Like what?
比如说...
J-Just like...
在商店行窃
shoplifting.
天呐 真的吗
Wow. Really?
我不会评判你 我也有这习惯
I mean, no judgment here -- I do it, too.
什么 你也这样做
What? You do?
是啊 但我有道德底线
Yeah, but I'm very ethical about it.
我只从雇用童工的公♥司♥拿东西
I only take things from companies that use child labor.
我们这代人就是这样拯救世界的
That is how my generation is saving the world.
海莉 我养你不是让你去偷东西的
Haley, I did not raise you to steal.
你刚刚才说你也这样做
You just said you do it, too!
那是我编出来的 好让你告诉我
I made that up so you would tell me
-你到底遇到了什么事 -为什么我要告诉你
- what's going on in your life! - Why would I?
塞几支巴基斯坦的口红进包里
Stuff a couple Pakistani lipsticks in my purse,
你就这样大惊小怪
and you freak out at me!
披头士乐队成员
瞧瞧啊 这不是约翰 保罗和乔治嘛
Well, well, well, if it isn't John, Paul, and George.
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