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Modern Family S10E21

Part 3 Nov. 25, 2019, 7:20 p.m.

我得有个好理由才能不经意地过去
I'd need a pretty good reason to just go waltzing over there --
-她的流程单掉了 -太好了
- She dropped her program! - Yes! ‭
克莱尔你知道我有事会第一个找你商量
Hey, Claire, you know how you're my go-to gal --
-我很忙 -菲尔
- Busy. ‭- Hey, Phil.
你知道我有事会第一个找你商量
You know how you're my go-to guy on stuff?
看来我们战胜所有不可能成为了挚友
I suppose against all odds, we've become best friends.
是啊
Sure.
很明显由我来做毕业演讲
So, apparently, some of the students are angry
让一些学生很生气
that I'm giving the commencement address.
为什么
Why?
谁知道他们扭曲的脑子是怎么想的
‭Who knows why their sick minds do anything?
不过我得说能再次憎恨嬉皮士感觉很好
Gotta say though, it feels good to be hating hippies again.
总之你能不能帮我巡视一下这地方
Anyway, would you mind giving this place a sweep?
看看有没有什么可疑的
See if you notice something suspicious.
这就办好
Consider it done.
你们把什么藏起来了
Hey. What do you got there?
让我看看你们的袍子下藏着什么
You kids got something under those robes you want to show me?
曼尼你没被裁掉
Manny, you passed the cuts,
为什么心情还这么不好
so why aren't you in a better mood?
你贿赂了我的院长让我通过的是不是
You bribed my dean to get me past the cut, didn't you?
我永远不会做那种事
I would never do something like that.
真厉害
Oh, bravo!
假如丽莎·瓦格纳有你演技这么好
If Lisa Wagner pulled out that performance,
也许她就不会带着装满手工木偶的卡车
maybe she wouldn't be driving back to her parents' house
和突然迷茫的未来
with a trunk full of handmade puppets
开车回到父母家了
and a suddenly very uncertain future.
我才没有贿赂谁
I didn't bribe anyone.
我也不知道你怎么会问这种问题
I don't know why you're talking such crazy things.
因为我看见你贿赂罗恩老师了
Because I saw you bribe Sensei Ron.
等等
Wait.
你贿赂罗恩老师了
You bribed Sensei Ron?!
所以这一切都是个谎言
So this is just a lie?!
还有别的什么吗
Are there others?
我甚至都不知道自己是谁了
Who the hell even am I?!
我的天
Oh, my God!
想跑可没门小朋友
Nice try, kemosabes.
艾希你节目单掉了
Ash. I think you left your program.
谢谢
Thank you.
想想这些孩子最后
Wow, it's wild to think
光明的前途真是感慨万千啊是吧
where all these kids are gonna end up, right?
我说有那么多好学校
I mean, there's so many great schools.
其实我们的
In fact, our --
你还好吗
Is something wrong?
我们女儿加入恐怖组织了
Our daughter joined ISIS.
美国政♥府♥不承认她的公民身份了
The government said she's not an American anymore.
现在我们家门前总是停着一辆货车
There's a van always parked in front of our house.
天啊我很难过
Oh, God. I'm so sorry --
克莱尔有没有说我们的女儿是个天才呀
Did Claire tell you our daughter's a genius?
那么接下来毕业生们看看你们的左边
...and so, graduates, look to your left
再看看右边
and to your right.
我丢了个小牛仔帽装饰的简洁大方的钥匙链
It's a simple key chain with a tiny cowboy hat charm on it.
谁捡到了请传上来
If you see it, please pass it forward.
好了现在有请我们的毕业演讲嘉宾
All right, and now on to our commencement speaker.
他是社会的栋梁
He is a pillar of the community,
企业家行业巨头杰·普里契特先生
an entrepreneur and closeteer -- Mr. Jay Pritchett.
毕业典礼
Commencement.
"C"代表着"勇气"
"C" for "Courage,"
"O"代表着"机遇"
"O" for "Opportunity,"
第一个"M"
the first "M" --
灾难来临了
Disaster had struck.
但是我慌了吗
But did I panic?
没有
No.
没人主动选择成为战时的校长
No one chooses to be a wartime principal.
但我们终将被历史所铭记
But we're the ones history remembers.
二选其一他们都说
Pick one, they all said --
壁橱还是百叶窗
closets or blinds.
米奇尔这要毁了毕业典礼的
Mitchell, he's tanking my graduation.
我打算跳过他直接进入怀念校友环节
I'm cutting him off and moving right to the in-memoriam section.
那听起来真是令人愉快啊
Well, that would be less depressing.
是是问题是乐队的人刚刚走得一个不剩了
Yeah, the problem is, the band just walked out in solidarity.
-给你 -干什么
- Here. - ‭W-What?
米奇尔纪念仪式不能没有音乐
Mitchell, you can't have an in memoriam without music.
那太扫兴了
That's just a bummer.
拿着
Take it!
你们爱怎么咕咕叫怎么叫反正我最后成功了
Hoot all you want, but that Brylcreem kid was me!
是的谢谢你
Yes, hi, thank you.
谢谢你杰·普里契特大家鼓掌
Thank you, Jay Pritchett, everyone!
我不知道你们什么感觉不过我觉得
Wow, I don't know about you, but I feel like
自己视野大开要走向世界了啊
getting out there and taking on the world, huh?
现在让我们铭记
And now, let's remember
今年我们失去的那些友人
those Dolphins we lost this year.
米奇尔快吹起来什么都行
Mitchell, play something. Play anything.
吹点特别庄重特别深沉的
Something with the most gravitas.
你知道吗我这么一个两年没碰过小号♥的人
You know, for a person who last touched a trumpet two years ago,
吹得还挺好的
I think I sounded pretty good.
吹完了吹完了
I'm done. I'm done.
好了
All right!
这一年逝去的人真是多啊
That is a lot of deceased for one year.
我们可能要报给警♥察♥调查一下了
We should probably have the police check into that.
现在在授予学位证书之前
And now, before, uh, passing out diplomas,
我想为毕业班的同学
I would like to make sort of a --
致以一些个人的表示
a personal gesture to this graduating class.
当气球飞向天空你们会发现每一个
As these balloons fill the sky, know that each one of them
都代表着一个亲身鼓舞了我
represents a student who has personally inspired me
让我对未来充满美好希望的学生
and filled me with hope for a better tomorrow.
什么情况
What?
代理校长
Acting Principal!
抗♥议♥者们黑进了我们的洒水系统
Protesters hacked into our sprinkler system.
五分钟之后就要启动了
It's set to go off in five minutes.
我们得推迟毕业典礼
We have to postpone the graduation.
然后错过我成为校长的机会吗
And miss my chance of becoming principal?
没门
Not a chance!
但是没人能在五分钟之内念完四百个名字
Well, no one can read 400 names in five minutes.
是吗
Oh, really?
所有训练所有错过的派对
All that training, all those parties missed,
所有那些参加过的拍卖♥♥会
all those auctions attended
都是为了此时此刻
were for this moment right here, right now.
同学们你们好当你们听到你们名字的时候
Students, hi! When you hear your name,
请走上台来拿走你们的学位证书
please proceed to the stage and grab your diploma.
奈莉·阿布瑞莎米艾莉森·阿科斯塔
Nelly Abrishami, Allison Acosta,
弗里达·阿♥拉♥法利斯科特·"讨厌鬼"·阿尔巴内塞
Frieda Alafary, Scott "The Skunk" Albanese,
杰西卡·埃伦尼克理查德·汤普森·艾伦
Jessica Alenick, Richard Thompson Allen,
拉瓦利亚·阿米努拉里·阿纳科恩
Lavaria Aminu, Larry Annecone,
达拉·阿尔勒特丹尼尔·戴伊·阿伦森
Darla Arleto, Daniel Dey Aronson...
我本来可以念完的
I was gonna make it!
然后
And then...
我遇到了波兰名字
I hit the Polish names.
切斯沃夫·沃拉德瑞扎克科沃斯基
Czeslaw Wlodaryzack-ck-kowsky.
沃洛迪斯劳·沃劳德
Wladyslaw Wlod...
尼斯基对
nisky? Yeah.
迈拉·扎林斯基
Myra Zarinsky --
好了快撤快撤
OK, all right, all right
如果我们离爸爸和小卡远一点可能还有机会
Okay, if we steer clear of Dad and Cam, we've got a chance
在这堆暴民动武的时候混进他们人里不被打
of blending into the mob when they turn violent.
这是什么情况
What the hell is this?
是这样的显然为猫头鹰抗♥议♥的人
Okay, well, apparently, when those owls
黑进洒水系统是影响全校区的
hacked into the sprinkler system, it was school-wide.
他们不让任何人进停车场
They're not letting anyone into the parking structure.
不是吧
Oh, no!
我希望这不会让我们错过
I hope this doesn't mean we're gonna have to miss