神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S04E21

Part 2 Oct. 1, 2020, 3:28 p.m.

Couldn't afford the rent.
租不起了
I'll be honest with you guys,
老实跟你们说
this PI thing is not going great.
被降到见习督警真的不好受
Got a couple of bad reviews online,
因为在网上得了几个差评
and that pretty much tanked me.
就把我毁了
I mean, what does "Weird energy" even mean?
我说 "奇怪的气场"到底是什么意思
Am I right? Well, my guess is that
我说得对吧好吧我猜
people find you somewhat threatening and erratic.
大家觉得你有点吓人有点古怪
Okay, yeah. That tracks.
好吧是有点道理
But jokes on them 'cause I'm having tons of fun
但他们是自讨没趣因为我有了大把自♥由♥时间
with all this free time. Catching up on reading,
过得很开心开始阅读
going for walks. It's great.
出去散步真的很棒
The other day, I walked all the way to Maryland.
有一天我直接走到马里兰去了
Gorgeous. Well, listen,
棒极了好啦听着
we need your help. Great, who are we killing?
我们需要你的帮忙太好了我们要杀谁
I won't do kids. That's a rule.
我不杀孩子这是我的底线
But that rule is negotiable if the kids a dick.
但是如果那孩子是个混♥蛋♥就另当别论了
No, babe, we don't want you to kill anyone.
不亲爱的我们不想你去杀任何人
What? Really? No.
什么真的不
We need to make Lieutenant Hawkins think
我们需要让Hawkins警官认为
that Diaz and Peralta are dirty.
Diaz和Peralta不干净
When you went undercover in the mob,
你去匪帮当卧底的时候
how did you convince them you could be trusted?
你是怎么让他们相信你的
Easy. You just take one of their guys
很简单你只需要抓一个他们的人
and beat him to a pulp in front of them.
当着他们的面把他打成肉酱
Well, that's all well and good,
好吧你说的是挺好
but we're not actually dirty.
但是我们不是真黑警
We can't just beat somebody up.
不能随便打人
What if that someone gave you permission?
那要是有人允许你们打他呢
Babe, do you want us to beat you up?
宝贝你希望我们把你痛打一顿吗
Ugh, yes, please. Anything to feel alive.
啊对啊求你们了让我感受到我还活着吧
I was lying before about enjoying walking.
之前我撒谎说喜欢散步来着
It sucks,
散步太烂了
and Maryland is a giant pile of garbage.
而且马里兰就是一个大垃圾堆
Okay, so we beat the crap out of my fiancé.
好的那我们就把我未婚夫痛扁一顿吧
And you're okay with this? Yeah.
你能接受得了我能
I just want him to be happy. Aww.
他开心就好哦呦
You guys are a weird couple, but it appears we have a plan.
你们这对真奇怪但我们有计划了
Okay, here are the ground rules:
好的以下是基本规则
You can punch me, kick me, pull my hair,
你们可以拳打脚踢扯头发
I am a-ok being stabbed,
我也能接受拿刀捅
biting and scratching are on the table,
咬和挠也可以考虑
you can use fire. These are the ground rules?
用火也行这也叫"基本"规则
Is there anything off limits?
还有不能用的招吗
Damn, man.
靠兄弟
You got something really sick you wanna do, huh?
你想来点重口的是吧
Oh, you little pervert.
哦你个小变♥态♥
All right, I like it. Don't tell me.
可以我喜欢别告诉我就行
Surprise me. Ooh, this is gonna be fun.
到时候给我个惊喜啊肯定特别好玩
Now remember,
记着
if she's expecting,
如果她怀孕了
she'll tell us when she's ready.
她准备好了就会告诉我们的
I don't know how she could keep this from me.
真不理解她怎么不告诉我
I'm her brother.
我是她哥哥啊
I mean, when Genevieve and I knew we were going to adopt,
Genevieve和我准备领养的时候
I told her immediately.
我第一时间就告诉她了
You told everyone. Put your hands up,
你告诉所有人了举起手来
and start clapping for me
为我鼓掌
'cause I'm gonna be a daddy.
因为我要当爹了
Aww, thank you.
啊谢谢你
You're gonna need to hold your horses
你别猴急猴急的
and respect Gina's privacy.
尊重Gina的隐私
Fine, I will.
好吧我会的
What the hell? Is she drinking coffee?
卧♥槽♥ 她在喝咖啡吗
Boyle, no.
Boyle 别去
What're you doing, you psycho? What're you doing?
你干什么神经病你干什么呢
You shouldn't be drinking caffeine.
你不能摄入咖♥啡♥因♥
That can stunt the growth of your ba...
会影响你孩
No, no, no, no. ...by, your baby.
别说别别别子孩子的发育
Excuse me? What are you trying to say?
什么你想说什么
Nothing. We don't think your pregnant.
没啥我们没有以为你怀孕了
Sharon's pregnant. Uh, that's not true.
Sharon怀孕了啊这不是真的
God, I hope it's not true.
天哪可别成真
What if Sharon's pregnant?
要是Sharon真怀孕了可怎么办
Well, it would appear you've figured out my little secret.
哦看来你们已经发现我的小秘密了
We don't know no secret. You be crazy.
我们可不知道啥秘密你疯了厚
I always talk like this. Down in Kokomo.
我说话就这样在科克摩的时候
Mm-kay. It's fine.
好吧没关系
You might as well know. I am with child.
你们知道也无妨我有孩子了
Congratulations. Yes, I'm gonna be an uncle.
恭喜你太棒了我要当舅舅了
I'm gonna be an uncle.
我要当舅舅啦
All right, someone take a picture of me kissing her belly.
你们谁来给我拍一张亲吻她肚子的照片
Negative, get out. Okay, fine,
不行滚开好吧
but you have to tell us everything.
但是你得把一切都告诉我们
How do you feel? When are you due?
你感觉怎么样预产期是什么时候
Oh, my God, I don't even know who the father is.
哦天哪我连孩儿他爸都不知道是谁呢
Who's the father? Who's the father?
孩儿他爸是谁孩儿他爸是谁
Well, let's just say he's a destroyer of worlds,
这么说吧他是世界的毁灭者
and I am his moon and stars. Amazing.
而我是他的月亮与星辰太棒了
I still need his name, phone number, and shirt size.
我还是得知道他的名字电♥话♥号♥码还有衣服尺寸
I have a fun group Halloween costume idea.
我有个超棒的万圣节集体变装的点子
I won't tell you what it is.
我不会告诉你的
It's "Three Men and a Baby." You're Guttenberg.
变装成<三个汉子一个娃> 你扮Guttenberg
Right, well, I would love to give you that info,
好吧我也想告诉你这些
but there's one little problem.
但是有个小问题
I signed a non-disclosure agreement,
我签了保密协议
which bars me from revealing his identity.
我不能泄露他的身份
Wait, is he famous.
怎么他是个名人吗
Is it Batali? Charles, she can't say.
是Batali吗 Charles 她不能说
Is it Batali? Legally, I cannot say.
是Batali吗从法律上讲我不能说
I'm so sorry, guys, but I can give you a hint,
十分抱歉各位但是我可以给你们一个提示
and that hint is: He real famous.
提示就是他很有名
Ooh, y'all are agog.
哦看你们这群八卦群众
Textbook agog. Come on, fetus, let's bounce.
教科书式的八卦群众走吧宝宝咱们撤
This way, Dbag. Get your pig hands off me.
这边来渣滓把你的臭手拿开
You pigs! Hey, who's this?
你们这群混♥蛋♥ 嘿这是谁
Now who's asking a lot of questions.
现在换成是谁在问东问西了
Ooh, schnoops.
呼傻屌♥
You said that to her before and then she flipped it on you.
这就叫以彼之道还施彼身
You got flipped on, son.
还回你身上了小子
What did I do? I didn't do anything wrong.
我♥干♥啥了我啥也没做错啊
Really? 'Cause you haven't paid us in a week.
是吗因为你一个星期没给我们好处
Oh, God, I swear. I'll get you the money.
哦天哪我发誓我会给你们钱的
I just need a little more--
我只是需要点
Oh, my God, you really punched me.
啊我的天你真打啊
Oh, my God, that hurt.
哦天啊好疼
Are you okay? What?
你没事吧啥
Yeah, this is my character. I'm a coward.
没事啊这就是我的人设我是个怂货
Come on. Give me everything you got.
没事放马过来吧
Where's our money?
我们的钱呢
Oh, my kidneys.
啊我的肾啊
Oh, I'm pretty sure I'm bleeding internally.
啊我敢肯定我现在内出血了
Oh, God. Get up.
哦天啊起来
I am so sorry.
真的对不起
Why? It's going great.
对不起啥渐入佳境啊
Punch me really hard in the stomach.
朝我肚子上狠锤
Oh, okay.
哦那好
I think you broke my ribs.
你把我肋骨打断了
Ah, you're really hurting me. Please, stop hurting me.
啊你真的把我打伤了求你了别再打了
What are you doing? I said stop hurting me.
你在干什么我说了别再打了