神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S04E20

Part 4 Oct. 1, 2020, 3:27 p.m.

that is some advanced level parenting right there.
你教育孩子的方法真是太高明了
I learned from the best... Thank you.
我师从最佳老爸谢夸
Lorelai from "Gilmore Girls." Okay.
师从的是<吉尔莫女孩>里的Lorelai 好吧
I guess being a daddy just comes naturally to me.
我想可能我天生就适合做老爸
Die!
去死吧
Hitchcock, no! Die!
Hitchcock 住手去死吧
How's it going?
怎么样了
Ah, I noticed your pupils have stopped pulsating.
啊我看你的瞳孔已经恢复正常了
Yeah, because I found the perfect antidote
是啊因为我找到了完美的解药
to your little prank.
专治你的小恶作剧
Sure, caffeine speeds you up,
当然咖♥啡♥因♥会让你神经敏感
but half-and-half slows you down.
但是半奶半奶油会让你神经迟钝
Ah, dairy.
啊乳制品
You made one fatal mistake.
你犯了一个致命错误
You forgot how gross I am.
你忘了我有多恶心
Yep. Oh, now feels like a good time to tell you
是现在是时候告诉你了
I dosed that half-and-half with caffeine.
我在那瓶半奶半奶油里也加了点咖♥啡♥因♥
Come on! What are you two up to?
太过分了你们两个在干什么呢
Being normal. Why? Not misbehaving. What?
做个正常人怎么了不是在干坏事干嘛
Huh, Skeezy J just called. Oh, did he pass his final?
哈 Skeezy J刚打来电♥话♥ 噢他最终考察过了吗
No, but he said, "Ocampo's in a warehouse
没不过他说"Ocampo现在在一间仓库里
on the corner of Richards and Lefferts."
就在Richards街和Lefferts街那片区域"
What's wrong, Rosa? Out of gas?
怎么了 Rosa 没汽油了吗
Yeah, it got all in my mouth. It was horrible.
对啊弄得我满嘴都是感觉糟透了
But still not as bad as water. See ya never!
不过那也比喝水感觉好再也不见了
What's wrong, Jake? Out of steering wheels?
怎么了 Jake 方向盘不见了吗
You know that I am! That's okay. I can run too.
明知故问算了我也能跑
Oh, the half-and-half just met the gasoline.
噢半奶半奶油已经开始和汽油混合了
They're not mixing well.
这两样混起来可没啥好结果
Sir, are you all right?
长官你还好吗
I failed you, Santiago.
我对不起你 Santiago
I want my officers to respect the chain of command,
我希望我的下属可以尊重指挥链
but I never want anyone to be so terrified of me
但我从来没想过让他们害怕我
that they repress basic emotions.
以至于让他们压抑最基本的情绪
I'm a terrible captain. Stop that.
我是个糟糕的警监不要这么说
You are not a terrible captain.
你是个优秀的警监
Santiago, face facts. I'm garbage.
Santiago 面对现实吧我就是个垃圾
No, this is about me and my issues with authority.
不是这是我的问题是我对上级过于敬重了
You've been great. Wrong, I've been a disaster.
你做的很棒不是我简直是个灾难
I can't believe you would blame yourself for this.
难以置信你居然会因为这件事而责怪自己
How stupid are you? So stupid.
你太傻了非常傻
I'm such a stupid head.
我就是一个榆木脑袋
The fact that you think this has anything to do with you is insane.
你把这件事都归咎在自己身上这太愚蠢了
Do you even-- Oh, my God, I'm yelling at you.
难道你就噢我的天啊我居然吼你
Yes, you are. You're in the zone.
对是的你找到感觉了
Keep going. Oh, okay.
继续说噢好的
I can't believe you lost my pen. That was careless and rude!
你居然弄丢了我的钢笔真是太粗心太没礼貌了
And? And it was a real jerk move!
还有呢只有混♥蛋♥才会这么做
Santiago! You did it! And I am so sick of you
Santiago 你做到我真是受够你了
playing your damn classical music in your office all day.
一天到晚在你的办公室里放古典音乐
It's too loud! We can all hear it!
声音放那么大我们都能听得见
Okay, well, this has been--
行了这有点
You shut your mouth when I'm talking to you.
我在跟你说话时闭上你的嘴
Santiago... Right, too far.
Santiago 对过头了
I'm sorry. This is all very new for me.
很抱歉对我来说这是全新的体验
Son of a bitch.
妈了个鸡的
Where'd you find a steering wheel?
你从哪找的方向盘
I didn't.
我没找
I had a Frisbee in the trunk, and I taped it on.
我后备箱有个飞盘我就用胶带把它缠上去了
That's right.
就是这样
I MacGyvered the donk out of this thing,
我用<百战天龙>的方式化腐朽为神奇
and it worked flawlessly.
用起来简直完美
Actually, I hit a ton of stuff on the way over here.
其实开过来的路上撞了不少东西
It was awful. Of course you did.
感觉糟透了你也就这点能耐
Yeah. Whatever.
对无所谓了
This is the warehouse.
这就是那个仓库
Listen, I know we're competing, but--
听着我知道我们正在比赛但是
We can't let him get away. We should work this together.
我们不能让他跑了我们应该齐心协力
Okay, but the second that we find him--
好但是一旦我们发现他
We go back to being arch rivals.
我们立刻重返宿敌状态
No two ways about it.
这事不容商量
Yep, I'll boil your flesh and drink from your skull.
对我要煮了你的肉用你的脑袋当瓢使
Yeah, totally. I'll do that to you too,if I win.
对必须的如果我赢了我也会这么对你的
We're both lunatics.
我们就是两个神经病
NYPD! Down on the ground!
纽约警局趴下不许动
Ocampo, freeze!
Ocampo 站住
What are you doing?
你在干嘛
He went outside. Feels like a setup.
他肯定跑出去了感觉像个圈套
I mean, he could have opened the door
我是说他可能先打开门
but stayed inside to trick us.
然后躲在里面躲过我们
No way. This guy is not that smart.
不可能这家伙没那么聪明
We could split up, follow our hunches.
我们分头行动跟随自己的直觉
Winner takes all.
胜者为王
Dummy.
傻♥逼♥
NYPD! Put your hands where I can see them!
纽约警局把手举到我能看到的地方
Oh, my God.
噢天啊
Damn it.
该死
You're under arrest.
你被捕了
Also, I'm gonna have to pee while I hold you at gunpoint.
而且用枪指着你的同时我得撒泡尿
I've been drinking so much water.
水喝的太多了
Before we take Ocampo over to the Slaughterhouse,
在我们把Ocampo移交给"屠宰场"之前
I just wanted to make sure you were okay,
我想先确保你还好
'cause you are sharpening that knife very intensely.
因为你在用力地磨那把匕♥首♥
Makes me feel better.
这能让我感觉好点
I'm the same way with "MAD" Magazine and "Cracked" Magazine
<幽默杂♥志♥>和<爆笑杂♥志♥>也能让我感觉好点
Ah, they're both so good.
这两本都很不错
Tough to pick. I mean, "MAD" Is the original,
很难决定哪本更好 <幽默杂♥志♥>是原创的
but "Cracked"-- They've always got a take.
但是<爆笑杂♥志♥> 他们的笑话太好笑了
Okay, I'm done. Let's go.
好了我磨完了我们走
Wait.
等下
Look, I know it sucks there's only one spot,
听着我知道只有一个空位很不爽
but working for Hawkins is my dream.
但是为Hawkins效力是我的梦想
I mean, she takes down the biggest criminals in the city.
她扳倒了全市最大的犯罪团伙
I get it. Dude, it's just,
我懂老兄可是
our captain's a man, our sergeant's a man.
我们的警监是男人我们的警长也是男人
Every superior officer I've ever had has been a man.
我遇到过的每一个上司都是男人
It just seemed cool to work for a badass woman
要是能为一个牛逼女人效力该有多酷啊
like Hawkins for once, but whatever, I'm good.
就比如Hawkins这种算了我挺好的
Also, I spiked your gum with caffeine.
还有我在你的口香糖里加了咖♥啡♥因♥
How?
怎么弄得
Face it, Charles,
面对现实吧 Charles
we couldn't make 'em get along.
我们不可能让他俩重归于好的
We failed as parents.
我们是失败的父亲
Why did I think I knew what I was doing?
我为什么会这么的自不量力
Poor Nikolaj. His life is ruined.
可怜的Nikolaj 他的人生就这么毁了
My God, you two are fools.
我的天你们两个笨蛋
Your folly was in treating them as children.
你们笨就笨在把他俩当做孩子对待
Of course, we should've been treating 'em like adults.
当然我们应该把他俩当做成年人
No, wrong again.
不又错了
They're not children. They're not adults.
他们既不是孩子也不是成年人
They're animals-- filthy, wild animals--
他们是动物肮脏野蛮的动物
and they need to be treated accordingly.
所以要按照对待动物的方式对他们
Stop it! Stop it! Stop it right now!
住手住手立刻住手
But he won't let me-- -
可是他不让我
You two gonna be friends now? No? Okay, fine, yeah.
你们俩现在要做朋友吗不做吗行吧好
Who wants a cookie? Ah, let me hear you apologize.
谁想吃曲奇先让我听到你们的道歉
I'm sorry. Uh, better apology, please.
对不起请真诚一点
I'm sorry for neglecting our friendship.
对不起我不该忽视我们的友谊
You're my best friend. Your turn.
你是我最好的朋友到你了
Well, I'm sorry too. You're my best friend.
我也对不起你你也是我最好的朋友