神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S04E02

Part 3 Oct. 1, 2020, 3:09 p.m.

by Taylor Swift's security team,
保安队给"扣押"了
but that was a misunderstanding.
但那是个误会
She's probably going to write a song about me.
她说不定要写首关于我的歌♥呢
We got to get out of here.
我们得离开这儿
Figgis could show up at any minute.
Figgis随时都会出现
Don't worry.
别担心
We can outsmart some small-town sheriff.
我们可比一些小镇治安官聪明多了
We're NYPD detectives.
我们可是纽约分局的警探
We caught the Son of Sam.
我们可是抓住了山姆之子的
Ice-T plays us on TV.
Ice-T还在电视上演我们了呢
We keep the Tony's safe.
我们保证Tony的安全
Hey, fellas.
嘿伙计们
Listen, I am sorry about the delay.
很抱歉让你们等这么久
We are overwhelmed here today.
我们这儿今天事儿有点太多了
We hired our first woman,
我们雇了有史以来第一位女性
so of course she needs her own bathroom
所以当然她会需要有独♥立♥的卫生间
and the shirt don't fit right--
还有衬衫也不是很合适
both things chaos.
都乱糟糟的
It's not a problem, Sheriff.
这不是个问题警长
You have nothing to worry about.
你没什么需要担心的
I think we all agree that C.J.
我想我们都同意C.J.
is, to put it mildly,
委婉点说
not very impressive.
不是很厉害
I watched him try to close the blinds
我看着他倒腾他办公室的百叶窗
in his office for 40 minutes.
折腾了40分钟都没关上
He finally just gave up and changed his pants
他最后放弃了把裤子换了
with the windows wide open.
但是窗户一直是大敞着的
Something has to be done,
我们得做点什么
and I have a plan.
我有一个计划
We use mankind's greatest weapon.
我们用人类最伟大的武器
A grenade. The written word.
手榴弹白纸黑字
Ugh, I'm out.
额别算上我
I drafted a letter to One Police Plaza saying
我起草了一个请♥愿♥书寄给总部告诉他们
that we think Captain Stentley is not a good fit for our precinct.
Stentley警监不是很适合来带领我们分局
If we all sign it, they'll have to act.
如果我们都签字他们肯定会有所动作
Hey, guys, I'm Emily, Gina's assistant.
嘿大家好我是Emily Gina的助手
Wait, she actually got that?
等等她真找了个助手
"Wait, she actually got that?"
“等等她真找了个助手”
Sorry, I'm under strict orders from Gina
抱歉 Gina要求我只要发现机会
to mock you whenever I see an opening.
就模仿你说话
Follow me, please.
请跟我来
Your two colleagues is here.
你的同事来了
Okay, thanks, Em,
好的谢谢 Em
and while I'm in this meeting,
当我在这开会的时候
will you just shred some documents for me?
你能帮我碎些文件么
Anything you see. It's all garbage.
所有你看得到的全都是垃圾
On it.
好的
What's going on? We were busy.
什么事我们忙着呢
Busy trying to ruin everything around here
忙着通过你那个傻B请♥愿♥信
with your dumb letter?
去破坏这里的一切
This is a gravy train, people.
这是个好事啊伙计们
Okay, C.J. Will say yes to anything we ask for.
好吧不管我们要求什么 C.J.都会答应的
Rosa, dare to dream. What do you want?
Rosa 幻想一下你想要什么
For him to be gone.
我想让他走
You want that more than you want walls around your desk
比给你的桌子四周都竖起隔板
so Hitchcock can't stare at you
Hitchcock就不会一直用他那又老又圆的眼睛
with his big old google eyes anymore?
盯着你看了还想啊
C.J. Stays. I love that guy.
C.J.得留下我喜欢他
Yes! What?
是的啥
That's not fair! Come on.
这不公平过来
And how about you, Charles?
你觉得呢 Charles
What do you want, baby boy?
你想要什么亲爱的
Well, I agree with Amy
我同意Amy说的
that C.J. Is totally unqualified
C.J.根本就不称职
and a disaster for the precinct,
而且对分局来说是简直是个灾难
and I would really love a treadmill desk
但我真的想要一个跑步办公桌
so I can hit my cardio targets.
这样我就能完成我的运动目标
Done. Yes!
就这样了太棒了
Boyle. I'm sorry.
Boyle 抱歉
I'm doing it for Nikolaj.
我这么做都是为了Nikolaj
You'll understand once you bear unto Jake a child.
一旦你怀了Jake的孩子就会懂了
Looks like you're all alone.
看起来你是一个人了
Em, can you go ahead and show her out?
Em 你能送她出去吗
Right this way, please,
这边请
and can I validate your parking?
我能检查一下你的停车卡么
I work here.
我在这儿上班
So, listen, do you mind
听着你们介不介意
if I ask you a few questions?
如果我问你们几个问题
It shouldn't take much time.
不会太长时间的
Great, because we actually have someplace important to be,
太好了因为我们还有个很重要的地方要去
so if it would speed things up,
所以如果很快的话
we're happy to waive our right to counsel.
我们很高兴放弃找律师的权利
Wow, counsel,
呜哇律师
the "C" Word.
竟然说到律师
Wait, wait, wait.
等等等等
You guys in law enforcement?
你们是执法部门的
No, no, no.
不是不是
I just have a buddy
只是我有个朋友
who's a detective in the NYPD.
是纽约警局的警探
Whoo, I bet he's better than me
哇我猜他肯定比我
at getting people to talk.
更善长让别人招供
Everything I know about interrogation
我所有的审讯技巧
I learned from "The Newlywed Game."
都是从"新婚游戏"中学来的
So, look, why don't you each
你们各自
write down your answer to these questions.
把答案写下来
Okay, question one,
听好第一题
what were you going to use the guns for?
持枪做什么
Okay, and then read 'em out when you're done.
写好就大声念出来
Hunting.
打猎
Okay, see, I knew you boys were on the level.
看吧我就说你俩绝配
Okay, question two:
那么第二题
What do you hunt?
打什么
Deer. Grouse and other small fowl.
鹿松鸡和其他小家禽
Oh. Yep, we hunt everything.
没错我们什么都打
You know, deer, grouse,
鹿也打过还有松鸡
a horse once.
有次还打了一匹马
Yes, we love killing any animal.
是的是动物我们都杀
I hear ya.
厉害了
Okay, question three:
那么第三题
You said you had somewhere important to go,
你们说要去一个重要的地方
so where exactly is that?
具体是哪儿
Dinner date. Dinner date.
约了人吃晚饭约了人吃晚饭
That's what mine says as well.
我写的也是这个意思
Sorry about the handwriting.
字丑了抱歉
The point is, neither of us are lying.
关键在于我俩都没说谎
Should we just pick up our keys on the way out,
能不能让我们拿钥匙走人了呢
or how do you want to do this?
还是说你还想再来两局
No one has ever beaten "The Newlywed Game."
没人能在"新婚游戏"中取胜
No one.
没人
Hey, Diaz.
嘿 Diaz
Right. The walls.
忘了墙挡着了
Can I help you?
要帮忙吗
I need the crime stats from last month.
我要上个月以来的犯罪数据
Fine. One sec.
哦马上好
Some people, huh?
真是个奇葩
Hey, I'm up to 20,000 steps.
我快走到20000步啦
Seriously, Boyle?
有必要吗 Boyle
Oh, you don't care about my health?
你都不关心人家的健康状况嘛
You don't care about if Nikolaj grows up without a papa?
就算Nikalaj从小没爹你也不在乎嘛
You want me to die?
你巴不得我死嘛