神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S04E01

Part 4 Oct. 1, 2020, 3:08 p.m.

Camera was behind her.
不过看她小腿
But look at her calf.
上面有个
It's a tattoo of Jesus
耶稣痛扁本拉♥登♥的纹身
punching bin Laden in the nuts.
或许当地的纹身师
Maybe a local tattoo artist
能认出来
will recognize it.
这肯定不是常见的图案
It can't be that common.
这是我们这里最常见的图案
That's the most common tattoo we give.
那这张照片毫无用处
So these photos tell us nothing?
不过你知道吗
Actually, you know what?
这是高中的毕业纪念戒指
That's a high school graduation ring.
马里诺高中 2003级
Dan Marino High, class of 2003.
马里诺高中我猜是因海豚队得名的吧
Marino High, home of the Dolphins, I suspect.
不是是因为"宠物侦探"
Nope, Pet Detectives.
马里诺的那个角色在我们这里相当受欢迎
Town was really into Marino's cameo in "Ace Ventura."
可以理解
Ah, it stands to reason.
很经典的电影我童年的最爱之一
Classic film, one of my childhood favorites.
只有在结尾的时候才展现出对跨性别人群的恐惧
And it only gets overtly transphobic at the very end,
所以这电影拍得挺成功
so a win.
总之非常感谢
Anyway, thank you very much.
你帮了我们大忙
You've been very helpful.
你们不是来做纹身的吗
But... you guys getting ink, or what?
不了我已经有纹身了
No, I already have a tattoo.
什么在哪为什么怎么会什么时候的事
What? Where? Why? How? When?
我不会再谈这件事了
I will never talk about it again.
好了现在我们要去马里诺中学
Okay, now all we have to do is go to Dan Marino High
找出所有零三♥级♥学生的档案
and get all the personal info on the class of 2003
然后给对方看自己的纹身
and then show each other our tattoos.
你先来
You go first.
不可能
It's never gonna happen.
我们已经不是警♥察♥了
We're not cops anymore.
怎么才能拿到那些文件
How are we gonna get access to those files?
简单我假扮成来自"虫立消"灭虫公♥司♥的
Easy. I walk in there dressed as an exterminator
害虫消灭专家
saying I'm from 1-2-3 Pest Removal.
秘书肯定说 "没听说过"
Secretary's like, "Never heard of you."
我就说 "听着小妞
Then I'm like, "Listen, lassie,
最好让我去跟你们校长说"
it's best you let me speak with your principal."
我知道了不会带口音的
I hear it. I'm gonna drop the accent.
然后她带我去见校长
She takes me to see the principal...
你在后面悄悄进去
you walk in behind me
把资料下载下来
and download the file.
唯一的问题是我们上哪去找
The only question is, where are we gonna find
灭虫员的工作服
an exterminator's outfit?
我们需要一条卡其裤和一件卡其色上衣
We're gonna need khaki pants and a khaki shirt.
去我的休闲装专用衣柜里拿
To my casual wear closet.
嗨我是灭虫专家
Hey, there, I'm the exterminator
我是来...
here for the...
对了你是来抓蛇的
Yes, you're here for the snakes.
没错
Oh, right.
抓蛇没错
The snakes, yes.
我就是来抓蛇的
That is why I'm here.
- 这边请 - 好的
- This way. - Okay.
我找到了嫌疑人
I found our suspect.
她叫乔丹·卡夫顿
Her name is Jordan Karfton,
住在舒勒路
and she lives on Shula Lane.
蛇抓的怎么样
How did the snake removal go?
挺好的挺好的
It was good. It was good.
卡夫顿女士我知道你不认识我们
Ms. Karfton, you don't know us, but...
不我认识
Uh, yeah, I do.
我拍了你们俩蠢货的视频
I got you on video looking like a couple of dumbasses.
我觉得我当时
I like to think I handled it
还是没那么蠢的
with some amount of grace.
并不是你的样子比我儿子杰登还蠢
Nope, you looked dumber than my kid Jaden,
他可是斗鸡眼
and his eyes are perma-crossed.
想看看吗喂杰登
You want to see? Hey, Jaden!
不不用了
No, that's not necessary.
你把视频发到网上了吗
Have you posted that video to the Internet?
还没
Not yet.
我手♥机♥没流量了
Ran out of data on my phone
看的小黄♥片♥太多
because of all the porn I watched.
我们又不认识
We don't know each other.
你直接说没流量了就行了
You could've just said you were out of data.
明天去参加亲戚婚礼的时候
I'm uploading the video tomorrow
我再上传视频
at my cousin's wedding.
会场里有无线网
Dog track has free Wi-Fi.
能不能请你不要上传
Would you ever consider not uploading it
直接删掉呢
and deleting it instead?
如果被我们老板看到的话
If our boss sees that video,
我们会丢工作的
we could be fired.
我才不管你们
I don't care about you.
这视频肯定会走红
A great viral video like that
我没准能挣个一万块呢
could fetch me ten grand.
你知道这么多钱能买♥♥到什么样的
And do you know what type of tanning bed I could get
日光浴床吗
for that kind of money?
中档的
A mid-range one.
没必要你的肤色已经很健康了
Not necessary. Your tan is great as-is.
你看起来就像
You look like...
一块颜色均匀的木板
an evenly-stained deck.
行了哥们把持住
All right, dude. Keep it in your pants.
我知道你为什么会动这种心思
Like, I get why you're into this,
我也知道我们可能会发展出点什么
and I could see something going on with us later,
但是眼下我只想要钱
but right now, I need the cash.
等等那如果我们给你一万块呢
Wait, what if we gave you the $10,000?
一万五就成交
Make it 15, you got a deal.
好
Fine.
今晚八点在游乐园见面
Meet us tonight at the Fun Zone... 8:00.
说定了
I will.
好好打扮打扮
Wear something cute.
我们没有这么多钱
We don't have that kind of money.
别担心
Don't worry.
我有的是办法
I still have a few tricks up my sleeve.
我只需要你做一件事...
The only thing I need you to do is...
我不会给你看我的纹身的
I'm not gonna show you my tattoo.
拜托提示一下嘛
Come on, just give me a hint.
是一艘老式的船吗
Is it an antique boat?
还是一把步♥枪♥ 难道是我在骑着龙
Is it a musket? Is it me on a dragon?
是不是我骑龙的图案啊长官
Sir, is it me on a dragon?
看一万五千美元
Boom. $15,000 cash.
哇怎么弄到的
Wow. How'd you get it?
原来不是
Oh, you didn't.
你只是把二十美元
You just stuck a few 20s
和一些玉米热狗优♥惠♥券捆在一起了
around a bunch of corn dog coupons.
很聪明吧
Smart, right?
那如果她要数呢
What if she decides to count it?
我可不担心这个
Oh, I'm not too worried about that.
她看起来可不像爱数数的人
She doesn't strike me as a big counter.
你想的很好嘛
Oh, well, that's quite an assumption.
这就是你的伟大计划
So... so this is your big plan.
不行我们必须取消会面
Oh, we need to call this off.
不行这是我们最好的机会
No, this is our best shot.
而且是现在的唯一机会
And right now, it's our only shot.
贱♥人♥ 我的钱在哪
Where's my money, bitch?
真不错我看你还带了朋友
Charming. I see you brought friends.
是啊以防万一
Oh, yeah, for backup.
这是你的钱
Well, here is your money.
都在那了你可以数数
It's all there if you want to count it.
我高中毕业了
Hey, I graduated high school.
用不着向你证明我会数数
I don't have to prove to you I can count.
当然不用
Of course not.
当然不用
Of course not.
电♥话♥在这你能删视频了