神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S04E02

Part 2 Oct. 1, 2020, 3:09 p.m.

I'm the bribe, aren't I?
我是诱惑品对吧
You're not the bribe.
你不是
Why, what's wrong with my body?
为什么我身体有什么毛病吗
Actually I borrowed $3,000
事实上我从竞走小组朋友Ruth那里
from my walking group friend Ruth.
那借了3000美金
Ruth, I'm going to be straight with you.
Ruth 我就跟你直说吧
I accidentally knocked up a woman.
我不小心搞大了女人的肚子
Greg! You know me.
Greg 你知道我的
I see a pair of thick weighty breasts
我看见波涛胸涌
and all logic flies out the window.
就会失去所有理智
Heterosexual you is such a dog.
异性恋的你真是个贱♥人♥
Can I help you?
需要什么帮助吗
Ah, no thanks, just browsing.
啊不用了谢谢就看看
Although, you know what,
但是你知道吗
since I'm here, why don't I grab, like,
既然我来了我为什么不拿点比如说
eight handguns, couple of shotguns, and, I don't know,
八把手♥枪♥ 两把猎枪还有额
three more handguns.
再来三把手♥枪♥
Can I see some ID?
我能看一下你们的证件吗
Yes, of course, of course.
好的当然当然
Oh. Would you look at that?
噢你知道吗
I forgot my license,
我忘带我的驾照了
but I do happen to have this big old wad--
但我这正好有一大卷旧钞
No problem. Hmm?
没问题嗯
I don't need your ID.
我不用你的证件了
Federal database is down anyway.
反正联邦数据库也瘫了
Wink wink. Ah.
你懂的
So how do you like your ammo?
所以子弹想要多少
By the box or by the bucket?
用盒子装还是用桶装
Cool, cool, cool, cool.
好好好好
Our country is broken.
我们国家完了
What? Bucket!
你说什么用桶装
I'll just take your biggest bucket of bullets.
我就要你们家最大桶的子弹
Okay, everyone.
同志们
We've been assigned a new commander.
我们这分配了一个新长官
Please give him a warm welcome.
请给他最温暖的欢迎
Hey, guys.
大家好
I'm Captain Stentley.
我是Stentley警监
Ah, yuck, that sounds so formal.
妈呀太正经了
Um...
额
Captain Jason?
叫我Jason警监吧
No.
还是别了吧
Call me C.J.
叫我C.J.吧
Okay, so that's all I got,
好了我就说这么多
unless you guys have any questions.
你们有问题要问我吗
Yeah, you wearing sweat pants?
嗯你穿的是运动裤吗
No. Oh, yes.
不哦是的
Yes, I am.
是的
I, um, had some hot cocoa this morning,
我额今早喝热可可
and I totally biffed it.
然后打翻了
I like this guy.
我喜欢他
Uh, if I may ask,
冒昧地问一下
how did you become captain?
你是怎么当上警监的
You just seem a little, uh...
你看起来有点呃呃呃
Unqualified? No.
不称职不是
No, no, no, no.
不是不是
It's because I am, actually.
因为我确实不称职
Here's how it happened.
我来告诉你们我怎么当上的
I had an appointment at my dermatologist
我本来约了我的皮肤科医生
at 402 7th Avenue.
他在第7大街402号♥
But I went to 204 7th Avenue by mistake.
但我走错了去了第7大街的204号♥
It's like numbers are so crazy, am I right?
这俩数字太像了对吧
Amen. Not really.
天哪不怎么像
Anyway,
不管怎样
there was this big drug bust going down.
当时那边正好在进行大型的毒品交易
I showed up, spooked the kingpin.
我突然出现把毒贩老大吓个半死
He darts for the front door, trips,
他冲出前门绊了一下
shoots himself in the stomach accidentally,
不小心把自己的胃给射穿了
and then after that everybody pretty much surrendered very quickly
接着很快所有人就差不多都投降了
and they made me a captain about a week later.
一个星期后我就被升为警监了
Didn't you have to pass the exams?
你难道都不用通过考试么
Like, wasn't there, like, an interview
难道没有面试之类的
where they met you and...
他们约见你然后
heard you speak?
听你讲讲
Presumably.
可能有吧
Look, I'm going to be honest.
说实在的
Between you and me,
我就只告诉你们
I don't fully know what I'm doing,
我其实都不太清楚我在做什么
but it seems like you guys do,
但是看起来你们很清楚
so I'm just gonna stay out of the way
所以我就准备不插手
and give you guys whatever you need.
只给你们提供你们需要的
Ceej? Hi, Gina Linetti here.
Ceej 嗨我是Gina Linetti
What I need is an assistant of my own,
我需要一个我自己的助手
just to do my paperwork and all my other work.
做些文书工作和我其他所有的工作
Work is the worst. I get it.
工作最讨厌了我懂的
Uh. Hire whoever you want.
就雇个你想要的人吧
I just want you guys to be happy.
我只是希望你们开心
And I will help you with that. Great!
我会帮你实现这点的赞
Hey, we should do a hang sesh like this every morning.
嘿我们应该每天早上都像今天这样来个动员会
This is amazing. Where do ya...
这太棒了我的
where's my office?
我的办公室在哪呢
I love him.
我爱他
He's the best captain we've ever had,
他是我们有史以来最棒的警监
hands down.
就他了
I don't know what you're so excited about.
我都不知道你干嘛这么兴奋
We have dangerous task ahead of us.
这可是个危险的任务
Wait, I thought you said we didn't need backup.
等等你不是说我们不需要支援吗
Are you worried? Do we need to call the Nine-Nine?
你担心么需不需要呼叫分局
No, no, no, no.
不用不用
We have the drop on Figgis,
我们已经锁定了Figgis
we're fully armed up,
带了足够的火力
and we have plenty of time to lay a trap.
我们有的是时间来设个圈套
Well, okay, then.
好吧
See you around, Coral Palms.
再见了度假酒店
Adios, constant pool of sweat in my taint!
再见了让我会阴汗流不止的天气
You do one, Greg.
你也来说一个 Greg
All right.
好吧
See you never,
再也不见
drive-through vape station.
驾车购电子烟站
Adios, weird Juggalo encampment!
再见奇怪的神经质歌♥手粉丝营地
Bye-bye, slightly askew stop sign.
拜拜轻轻绕过停止标识
Whoa-oh.
哇呜
Oh, come on, for running a stop sign?
拜托就因为在停止标示前没停
We just passed someone driving
我们刚才旁边还有个人
with both feet out the window.
两只脚都翘到了车窗外面
Just be cool, Larry.
放轻松 Larry
Gentlemen.
先生们
I am going to need to see your license and registration.
我需要看下你的驾照和行驶证
Yeah.
好的
Whoa, hold on.
等下
What do we got going on back there?
你们这后面放的是什么
Oh, uh, yesterday's newspaper.
噢昨天的报纸
No, I'm talking about the pile of guns
不是我说的是那堆枪
and the bucket of bullets.
和一盒子弹
Right, right, right. Right, right, yeah.
好吧好吧好吧
Bucket of bullets, sure, sure.
一盒子弹是啊是啊
I need you both to step out of the vehicle.
请你们两个从车上下来
Yep, it'd be weird if you didn't.
当然如果不下车就太奇怪了
This is a little bit weird.
这有点奇怪
Never been arrested before.
我以前从来没被抓过
I mean, I was "Detained" Once
只是有一次被Taylor Swift的