神烦警探

Brooklyn Nine-Nine S04E01

Part 3 Oct. 1, 2020, 3:08 p.m.

Larry, you want to say a few words?
当然谢谢
Absolutely. Thanks.
大家好
Hey, everybody.
几件关于我管理风格的事情
Uh, couple things about my management style.
第一条只要别问我杯子里装的什么
Number one: don't nobody ask me about what's in my cup,
我们就什么问题都没有
we ain't gonna have no problems.
第二条我相信绰号♥的力量
Uh, two, I believe in the power of nicknames.
笑脸魅力小姐
Smile Face, Señorita Swag,
大巫师
Kahuna!
好耶
Oh, yeah.
至于你我的朋友
And you, my friend,
我们叫你放屁先生
we will call Mr. Fart.
听起来不怎么专业
Seems rather unprofessional.
他喊的你放屁"先生" 放屁先生
He called you "Mr." Fart, Mr. Fart.
谢谢你大巫师
Thanks, Kahuna.
伙计们我能对你们说几句真心话吗
Guys, can I get real with you for one sec?
我曾经为一个顽固的家伙工作
I used to work for a real stickler...
就是那种特别喜欢
the type of guy that just got off
指使我做事的家伙
on telling me what to do.
有一次他闯进了我的私人空间还偷了我的东西
One time, he invaded my private space and stole my stuff.
他为什么要那么做啊
Why would he do that?
可能他有充分的理由呢
Perhaps he had a good reason.
错了放屁先生他是个非常差劲的混♥蛋♥
Wrong, Mr. Fart. He was a jerk and he sucked.
但也是他激励了我
But he was the one who motivated me
让我振作起来得到了这份工作
to get off my ass and get this job,
所以在某种程度上我们真的要向他
so in a way, we really have him to thank
为这一切表示感谢
for all this happening.
来点掌声
Give it up.
这家伙真棒啊对吧格雷格
How great is this guy, Greg?
等等他是格雷格吗
Wait, that's Greg?
- 没错 - 那个吸毒的家伙吗
- Yeah. - The stoner?
是的看看他他就是个塔法里教♥徒♥
Yeah, look at him. He's such a Rasta.
绝对的
Aw, total Rasta.
你是怎么得到这份工作的
How did you even get this job?
你毫无经验
You have zero experience.
你是伪造了简历吧
I guess you lied on your resume.
格雷格你药嗑多了吧
Greg, you stoney macaroni...
我当然要伪造简历了
Of course I lied on my resume.
我们的整个人生都是谎言
Our entire lives are a lie.
我就直接说我是那个
I straight up said I was that guy who
把飞机迫降在哈德森河上的人
landed the plane on the Hudson.
为了羞辱我而抢我的工作
Taking my job just to spite me...
即使是你这也够下流的
that's low, even for you.
但这可不是为了羞辱
Oh, but it's not spite.
这是敲诈
It's blackmail.
我要变成你的上司
I'm gonna be your boss,
我会让你的生活变得苦不堪言
and I'm gonna make your life miserable,
除非你把菲吉斯档案还回来
unless you give me back my Figgis file.
不可能
Oh, never gonna happen.
好吧随你的便
Okay. Suit yourself.
希望你喜欢过生日的小孩子
Hope you like kids' birthdays.
大家看这里有人刚刚自愿当生日宴会上的DJ
Hey, everyone, someone just volunteered to be DJ B-Day.
在这个欢乐区里我们只有一条规则
Here at the Fun Zone, we live by one rule:
当你生日时总是很炫酷
when it's your birthday, you're always cool.
父母和孩子们都一样
Parents and kids are all the same.
看我
Watch...
用你的名字
as I do a dance...
跳一支舞
to your name.
德德德德里克
D-d-d-d-d-d-Derek.
德德德德里克
D-d-d-d-d-d-Derek.
重来
Again.
查出里面住了什么吗
Figure out what's living in there yet?
从空掉的啤酒罐
Well, uh, judging by the empty beer cans,
毛发色情杂♥志♥ 以及爪痕来看
the fur, the pornography, and the claw marks,
我猜是一个流浪汉和一只浣熊
I'd say a homeless man and a raccoon.
它们的关系究竟是什么
The exact nature of their relationship
还有待发掘
is still revealing itself.
我猜和性有关
I'm gonna assume sexual.
你准备把文件给我了吗
You ready to give me those files yet?
没有
No.
好吧是时候给你下一个任务了
Well, then, I guess it's time for your next task.
你需要变装一下
You're gonna need to change.
变成什么
Into what?
放屁先生
Oh, Mr. Fart.
你看起来好极了
You look perfect.
你的手段就只是一套愚蠢的服装吗
So a silly costume... is that all you got?
难说
Hardly.
我要你在每一辆卡丁车经过时
Every time a go-kart drives by,
都要大声喊
I want you to scream...
千万记住了
and this is very important...
"我太老土了"
"Me so corny!"
你可以毁了我的工作拉里
You can ruin my job, Larry,
但我在佛罗里达州不止有工作
but that's not all I've got here in Florida.
我还有生活
I've got a life.
我还有朋友
I've got friends.
真的吗
You sure about that?
老实说埃斯黛尔听起来你应该
Honestly, Estelle, it almost sounds like you should
停止食用牛肉
stop eating beef altogether.
我知道我一直在说这件事
I know. That's what I keep saying.
去死吧拉里
Oh, go to hell, Larry!
那可是我的竞走团
That's my walking group!
回去拿我的文件吗
Off to get my file?
不你永远不会得到文...
No, you will never get the f...
格雷格
Greg!
你还好吗
Are you okay?
是的但我们有更大的麻烦了
Yes, but we got bigger problems.
这会红遍网络的
This is gonna break the Internet.
不不女士求你了你不能把它放到网上去...
No, no, ma'am, please, you can not put that on the Inter...
我就想看到这样的
I was hoping that would happen.
好的太好了
Yes! Yes!
你的手腕扭成那样不太正常
I don't think your wrist is supposed to move like that.
没错但自从我在高中踢足球时
No, it's been like this since
把手腕摔断后就变成这样了
I broke it playing football in high school.
好吧我是被马踢的
Fine, I petted a horse too hard.
如果那个女人把她用手♥机♥
If that woman posts her camera phone video
拍的那段视频传到网上去
that she took with a camera phone camera
菲吉斯就会发现我们在哪里了
to the Internet, Figgis could figure out where we are.
都怪你
This is your fault.
或许应该怪你因为你偷了我的文件
Or maybe it's your fault for stealing my files.
这不重要
You know what? It doesn't matter.
我们必须要拿到那段视频
We have to get that video.
我们能不能给这场斗争按个"暂停"
Can we please just press "Pause" on this fight
然后一起合作呢
and work together?
可以但是有个条件
Yes, on one condition:
你离我的竞走团远点
you stay the hell away from my walking group.
竞走团对我来毫无意义
The walking group meant nothing to me.
那你就更过分了
That's even worse.
行了好的我会住手的
Okay, fine, I'll stop.
那个女的长什么样啊
What did this lady look like?
白人女性一米六
White, female, 5'3",
T恤上写着"性高♥潮♥捐助者"
T-shirt that read, "Orgasm Donor."
我们还需要更多信息
We need more.
我们需要拿到监控录像
We need access to the security tapes.
好了这里有偷大猩猩玩偶的小屁孩
Okay, we got teenagers stealing a stuffed gorilla,
偷卡丁车里汽油的老太太
old lady siphoning gas out of a go-kart,
把埋在墙里的电线扯出来的瘾君子
junkie ripping copper wires out of the wall...
天啊这地方真是太乱了
God, this place is messed up.
找到你了
There you are.
有什么发现
What did you find?
不多
Not much.
她背对着摄像头