无耻家庭

Shameless S02E04

Part 2 Jan. 9, 2020, 10:37 a.m.

Likes how these make him feel normal.
房♥屋看管公♥司♥
House sitters, incorporated.
妈我告诉过你这个号♥码是工作专用
Mom, I told you, I need to keep this line open for clients.
是的我很好
Yes, I'm fine.
明天
Tomorrow.
我也是
Yeah, me, too.
他明天回来
Bummer the guy comes back tomorrow.
放心这家之后还有活儿
Relax, I got more gigs lined up.
什么动静
What was that?
这是怎么回事
What the hell is going on?!
靠你不是说星期四回来么
Shit! You said Thursday.
今天不就星期四么除了拿邮件和水进来
It is Thursday! You were just supposed to bring in
我没让你干别的你这小混♥蛋♥
the mail and water, you little turd!
你竟然喝我的酒
You're drinking my booze?!
你说他是矮子我还以为是开玩笑的呢
I thought you were kidding about the midget thing!
艾瑟儿来你怎么不去楼上
Ethel, come on. Why don't you go upstairs
找黛比借件泳衣来泳池里玩玩水
and borrow a swimming suit from Bebbie? Come in the pool?
谢谢您关心我可能会感到不适
No, thank you, sir. I wouldn't feel comfortable
除非我穿上自己的泳衣
unless I was in my own swimming costume.
那好吧随你意煞风景的孩子
All right, suit yourself, party pooper.
警报解除了么
Coast clear?
嗯你今天又惹着谁了
Yeah. Who we dodging today?
讨债的还是递传票的
Bill collectors? Process servers?
-克雷格·海斯纳的夫人 -你干啥
- Mrs. Craig Heisner. - What are you doing?
这个夏天你怎么到处勾搭
You've been acting like a dude all summer.
就行男人玩女人我就不能玩玩男人么
Oh, it's okay for guys to play the field, but not me?
如果你想让上过你的爷们都用洗碗机洗屌♥
It's okay if you want guys to start running their dicks
那就随你乐呵着来
through the dishwasher after they bone you.
闭嘴这防晒措施可真到位啊
Shut up. That's some serious UV protection.
我知道她太严肃了
I know. She won't loosen up.
我开始担心
I'm really starting to worry that
她不和同龄人来往这件事
she doesn't interact with anybody her own age.
我应该强制她吗
Should I force her or what?
不知道我带孩子都他妈胡编乱造
I don't know. I'm making this shit up as I go along.
这个露西·乔怎么知道的
How'd she find out? Lucy Joe?
我的天啊这是什么疹子么
Jesus, what is that, a rash?
什么我想是吧
What? Yeah, I think it's from that laundry soap
大概是家庭美元店卖♥♥的洗衣皂弄的
I got at the Family Dollar Store.
中国制♥造♥ 大概是被三聚氰胺污染了
Made in China. Probably tainted with melamine.
不行你都这样了不能再进泳池了
No way. You're not going in the pool with that.
走让小维给你看看
Come on. We gotta show that to V.
小鬼们怎么办
What about my kids?
我晚点儿才会教篮球
I don't have basketball practice until later.
我和艾瑟儿可以照顾他们
Me and Ethel can watch 'em.
是艾瑟儿和我
Ethel and I.
你和我得去把这给维罗妮卡瞧瞧
You and I are gonna go show this to Veronica.
走吧
Let's go. Go on.
-小心点呀 -好嘞
- Be careful! - Yeah!
朱迪听电♥话♥ 你好
You got Jody. Hello?
你认为一个男人名叫朱迪
Do you think it's possible for a guy to be named Jody
能不是个混♥蛋♥吗
and not be a douche bag?
有没有想过叫他'短笛"
Ever thought about calling him "Choady"?
那该死的家伙把我的炮♥友♥拐跑了
Tool hijacked my sex buddy.
修正主义者的历史
Revisionist's history.
-什么 -可不只是炮♥友♥
- What? - More than a sex buddy.
不那只是在我的屁屁辛辛苦苦干活时
Nah, that was just my little brain doing all
我那小脑袋勤勤恳恳的胡思乱想
the thinking while my ass was doing all the talking.
你们待会想来冰激凌雪糕车吗
You guys wanna come on the ice cream truck later?
没空要去退伍军人协会做义工
Can't. Volunteering at the VA.
那可真是浪费光阴
That's a waste of time.
这会让我的西点申请书好看一点
It's gonna look good on my West Point application.
你该想想怎么玩转系统
You know, you should be figuring out
而不是被系统牵着走
how to work the system instead of playing into it.
美国实行精英领导制度
America is a meritocracy.
他们都不生产靴子皮带了
They don't even make boot straps anymore,
你到底要怎么"挺起"来
then how the hell you supposed to pull yourself up by 'em?
-笨驴 -笨驴
- Dumbass. - Dumbass.
顺便说一下我要盗用"短笛"这名字
Hey, I'm totally stealing "Choady," by the way.
维罗妮卡不是真正的护士
Veronica's not a real nurse.
她怎么能诊断出这是什么疹子呢
How's she supposed to diagnose this rash?
至少她能告诉我们这值不值得上诊所花钱
She can at least tell us if it's worth ponying up for the clinic.
-躲到我家床下来了吗 -我知道
- You came to hide under the bed? - I know.
我以为你跟克雷格只是去喝杯咖啡小聊一会
I thought Craig was just gonna be about coffee and catching up.
然后就那么发生了你能看看这疹子吗
Just sorta happened. Would you check out this rash?
我靠挺严重呀
Damn, that's nasty.
看起来像是带状疱疹
Almost looks like shingles.
疥癣呢是不是
Scabies, maybe?
我来看看
Let's see here.
最近有去林子里登山吗
Been hiking in the woods lately?
什么林子
What woods?
我给史蒂夫打电♥话♥了
I called Steve.
-什么 -什么为什么
- What? - What? Why?
改变饮食习惯
Change in your diet?
不知道我想我只是希望能听听他的声音
I don't know. I just wanted to hear his voice, I think.
你的嗓子疼吗
Does your throat hurt?
不疼他在哪儿
No. Where is he?
我没问
I didn't ask.
-可能性最大的是荨麻疹 -我就知道
- Best guess, stress rash. - I knew it.
日托对你来说负担太重了
Daycare is too much for you to handle.
这是我的错
This is my fault.
为什么所有事都跟你有关
Why does everything always have to become about you?
那么不用看医生是吗
So, no need for a doctor?
先涂类固醇药膏试试
Steroid cream first.
对发出来的疹子应该有效
Should do away with the breakout,
但如果是因为压力你就得放松放松了
but if it's stress, you're gonna have to start relaxing.
看完了吗我有一屋子孩子要回去照顾
We done here? I got a house full of kids I need to get back to.
打算再给史蒂夫打电♥话♥吗
Gonna call Steve again?
不知道
I don't know.
打之前你最好先想清楚你想跟他说什么
Might wanna figure out why you wanna talk to him first.
这棵是约翰森太太的最爱
This one here is Mrs. Johnson's favorite.
需要天天浇水
It likes to drink every day,
但这边这棵比较机车
but this one over here is a bit finicky,
只要在周末浇一点水就行了
and only wants a little sip on the weekend.
周末记下来
Weekends. Got it.
让我带你去看看楼上的植物
Let me show you the upstairs plants.
你拿那个恶心的老古董
What the hell you want with them
巨型奶罩干什么
nasty old boulder holders?
我在练习打开它们
I practice opening 'em.
永远不能预知黑暗里
Never know what kinda clasps
你会遇上什么样的扣子
you're gonna encounter in the dark.
我的座右铭 "有备无患"
My motto, "be prepared."
周末提前啦
Weekend came early.
也许我该少上几轮班
Maybe I should give up some shifts
多帮帮你管理日托
and help you more with the daycare.
你的服务生小费是我们能
Your waitress tips are the only thing
撑过冬天唯一的希望
that's gonna get us through the winter.
你不应该背负这么重的担子
You should not be carrying this much responsibility.
-就这两周而已 -两周
- It's only for two more weeks. - Two weeks?
在新学期开始之前
Till school starts.
小黛你才十一岁
Deb, you're 11.
你得开始表现的像个十一岁的孩子
You need to start acting like it.
你想我开始收集贴纸和口红吗
You want me to start collecting puffy stickers and lip gloss?
对或许有空去公园玩玩
Yeah! Maybe hang out at the park sometime.
闲逛
Loitering.
邀请几个朋友一起在水池里
How about you invite some friends over
放松放松怎么样
and relax in the pool?
没有救生员出事谁负责
No lifeguard. Liability.
他们过来在水池里玩一会
They can come over, hang out in the pool
然后在我们家过夜
and then sleep over.
就像... 就像一个生日睡衣派对一样
It'll be like a... like a birthday party sleepover party.
我的生日十月才到