无耻家庭

Shameless S05E06

Part 2 Jan. 8, 2020, 2:27 p.m.

It must be good to be a baby, I'm telling you.
绝逼好
Fuck yeah.
没有烦恼
No problems.
没有烦恼
No-- no problems.
没有烦恼没有
No problems. No.
操他不接电♥话♥
Fuck. He's not picking up.
我要报♥警♥
I call police.
报你个头
The hell you will.
红发小子带走了我的孩子我要报♥警♥
No, I call police because crazy carrot boy took my baby.
你报了警
You call the cops,
我会跟他们说是我
I'm gonna tell them I said
让伊恩带孩子出去玩的
Ian Could take the baby on a trip.
你觉得警♥察♥会相信谁
Who do you think they're gonna believe, huh?
俄♥罗♥斯♥非法撸管妓♥女♥
Illegal Russian fucking hand-whore
还是有身份证明吃苹果派
or card-carrying, apple pie-eating,
土生土长的美国公民
"Born on the fourth of July" American fucking citizen?
他们会相信怀着孕的妓♥女♥母亲
Pregnant hand-whore who is also mother they will believe.
你♥他♥妈♥冷静点行吗
You need to chill the fuck out, okay?
我之前吓到他了
I scared him with the nut ward talk.
等他冷静下来
He'll get his shit straight.
就带着孩子回来了
He'll bring the kid back.
一定会的
He will.
好了
Uh, okay.
谁是K开头的那个卡尔森
So which one of you is Karlson with a "K"?
好你留在这儿
Okay, you can stay.
C开头的那个卡尔森
And then Carlson with a "C,"
你的宿舍在万·豪顿楼西边208
You are actually In the Van Houten towers, west 208,
加德纳大厅过去一点就是
Just past Gardner hall.
-不会走错的 -好
- You can't miss it. - Okay.
你们都没问题吧
You guys good?
好
Okay.
打扰一下
Excuse me.
你是这层的舍监对吧
You're the resident assistant on this floor, right?
我是417房♥间凯伦·珀洛的母亲
I'm Karen Perlow's mom--417?
她每天早上得吃一粒利他林
She gets a ritalin every morning,
绝不能空腹吃
never on an empty stomach,
午餐时要吃一粒安定
and then an ativan at lunch--
如果是考试期间她很紧张那就吃两粒
two if she's feeling anxious at test times.
抱歉女士
Okay, listen, I'm sorry, ma'am,
他们不是来参加夏令营的
but this isn't a summer camp, okay?
我也不是他们的保姆
And I'm not the camp nurse,
所以吃药的事要凯伦自己负责好吗
So Karen, she has to handle her own reds and bennies, all right?
混♥蛋♥们请你们
Yo, douche bags, you think you could lay off
等外面的家长都走了
on the water pipe and the porn
再抽大♥麻♥和看A片
until mom and dad Iowas are back on the interstate, please?
谢谢
Thank you.
刚有个新生的老爸教我
I just had some freshman dad show me how to keep his son
怎么在他儿子癫痫发作时防止他咬到舌头
from swallowing his own tongue when he has seizures.
是你自己要当舍监的
You're the one who wanted to be an R.A.
不是我要当是不当不行
No, not wanted to. Had to.
不然哪来的免费食宿还有薪水
Free room and board, plus stipend.
你可以搬来跟我住
You could have moved in with me.
那就没薪水了
Yeah, no stipend.
老天她是有多重这么胖
Jesus, what's she weigh in at, buck 90, 200?
文艺复兴时代的女人不会被逼着绝食减肥
Renaissance women weren't forced to starve themselves
变成一个个时尚工业里
Into an anorexic fashion industry marketing version
女性情欲的化身
of female sexuality.
我猜她们是纯粹的传教士精神
I bet it was purely missionary.
被这样的女人压在身下
You know, getting caught under that
就像一颗葡萄被踩扁了
would be like stepping on a grape.
我在网上找的室友今早刚搬过来
My new roommate from craigslist moved in this morning.
她管自己叫“男人婆”
Calls herself "Muff bulldagger"
还骑着一辆重机
and drives a Kawasaki.
什么他干嘛了
Wait, he did what?
好好好
Okay, okay, okay.
我得借一下你的车
Uh, hey, listen, I need to borrow your car.
伊恩刚偷了个婴儿
Ian just stole a baby.
早上好美女
Top of the morning, beautiful.
我最爱的公务员最近怎么样
How is my favorite public servant?
去买♥♥点除臭剂喷喷弗兰克
Buy some deodorant, Frank.
你的这个小车里
Any governmental gift envelopes
有没有政♥府♥
addressed to a Gallagher
寄给加拉格的礼物
in this little wheeled chariot of yours?
差不多也该到日子了
It's getting to be that time of month.
你碰我的车一下我就报♥警♥
Touch my cart, I'll call the cops.
我只是折服于你的收纳技巧
I was just admiring your organizational skill.
-你真棒 -去找个工作弗兰克
- You're a wonder. - Get a job, Frank.
我♥干♥嘛要去找工作盖尔
Well, now, why would I do that, Gail?
那我岂不是剥夺了你和你的纳税人
I'd just be depriving you and your taxpaying,
公务员同伴和教会同胞们
civil-service working, church-going buddies
一起服务我的特权
the great privilege of supporting me and mine.
我有一个梦想盖尔有天我醒来时
I have a dream, Gail, that one day I will awaken
会有一个像你一样的宝贝在我身下
with a baby just like you underneath me.
天啊
Oh, my god.
老天
Jesus criminy.
快点
Come on.
你跑哪儿去了
Where the hell have you been?
滚
Fuck off.
卧室都锁上了
Bedrooms are all locked.
什么为什么
What? Why?
免得你进去
To keep you out of them.
我把你的东西都打包好了
I boxed your stuff up
还帮你放了防跳蚤的药
and put a flea bomb in for good measure.
都给你放在后院了
Box is in the backyard airing out.
那我睡哪儿
Where am I supposed to sleep?
关我什么事
What do I care?
你把承诺了要给我买♥♥新房♥车的钱
You blew the money you promised
全部都造光了
You'd use to buy me a new trailer,
所以你要么回你昨晚睡觉的地方
so it's back to the gutter you slept in last night,
要么就睡沙发
or you're on the couch.
现在还有些新规据不付钱就没饭吃
And there are new rules around here: No money, no food.
想吃饭就付钱
You want something to eat, you pay.
晚上还有宵禁
And there's a curfew.
不许再有人凌晨3点回家
No more coming in at 3:00
把一屋子的人都吵醒
and waking the whole house up anymore.
大门10点就上锁
Doors will be locked at 10:00.
10点
10:00?
你♥他♥妈♥开玩笑呢吧
You got to be fucking kidding me.
有小孩子在呢
Young ears.
大门10点上锁没有例外
Doors will be locked at 10:00, no exceptions.
这里的规矩变了
Things are changing around here.
几年前就该这样了
Should have changed years ago.
10点利亚姆都睡得比这晚
10:00? Liam stays up later than that.
不要想试探我的底线
Don't try me on this.
晚上街上可冷了
It gets cold out there on the street late at night.
相信我我体验过
Believe me, I know.
随便吧
Whatever.
我得去商店买♥♥上学用的东西
I got to shop, get ready for school.
学校两天后才开学
School doesn't start for two more days.
那是初中
Yeah, middle school starts in two days.
高中明天就开学了
High school starts tomorrow.
明天是你高中第一天
Tomorrow's your first day of high school?
亲爱的你害怕吗
Oh, sweetie, are you scared?
不怕
No.
我讨厌高中
I hated ninth grade.
开学第一天差点被摔跤队轮♥奸♥了
Almost got raped by the entire wrestling team my first day.
真不该真空穿背心的
Never should have worn a tank top without a bra.
你明天应该也穿成这邋遢样
You should dress dowdy like that again tomorrow--
安全一些
Be safer that way.
还有出门前别忘了上厕所
And don't forget to pee before you leave home.
学校的厕所很恐怖