摩登家庭
Modern Family S09E20
Part 3
Nov. 26, 2019, 11:03 a.m.
怎么会发生这种事
How could this happen?!
我们用几周时间想完善怪物的标志性叫声
We spent weeks perfecting the monster's trademark scream
把各种让人不舒服的声音叠在一起
by combining a bunch of unsettling noises.
恐怖电影重点全在音效
Horror movies are all about the sound.
特别是当你的特效预算
Particularly when your special effects budget
被用来买♥♥了片场按♥摩♥椅时
has been repurposed for an on-set massage chair.
你用得和我一样频繁
Hey, you used it just as much as I did.
我们的怪物听起来像你♥妈♥的♥叫声
So, our monster sounds like your mother screaming?
但我们用之前没意识到这点 对吗
But we didn't know that before we put it in, right?
-当然没有 我们爱她 -爱出天际
- No, of course not, we love her. - To the moon.
-或许她不会发觉 -最好不会
- Maybe she won't notice. - We better hope not.
-是你的片子 -是你的片子
- It's your movie. - It's your movie.
-她睡着了 真走运 -算是吧
- She's asleep? How lucky. - Kind of lucky.
她说她累了 海莉给她倒了杯茶
She said she was tired and Haley gave her some...tea.
茶里放了什么
What was in the tea?
你想让她接着睡还是想问问题
You want her asleep, or you want to ask questions?
老妈回来了
Mom just pulled up!
快 抽到最长吸管的人先去和她说
Quick, longest straw goes first with her,
然后是中间的 然后是最短的
then medium, then shortest.
-万岁 -万岁
- Yes! - Yes!
那是最短的吸管 你最后
That's the short straw. You're last.
该死 我太习惯于
Oh, damn it! I'm so used to a world
尺码最小的人占便宜的世界了
where the smallest size wins.
烦死了 你们会把老妈的好心情都用光的
This sucks, you guys are gonna use up all of Mom's happy buzz.
-她来了 她进来了 -快
- Oh, there she is! She's here! - Hurry!
把她盖起来别让老妈看到
Cover her up so mom can't see.
-她回来了 -我美好的家人
- There she is! - There's my beautiful family!
-妈 -妈
- Hi, Mom. - Hi, Mom.
等等 那些衣服怎么放在那
Wait, why are those shirts over there?
抱歉 我们没洗完衣服
Oh, sorry. We didn't finish the laundry.
别担心 帅哥
Oh, well, don't sweat it, handsome.
读份报纸 今日天下太平
Read a paper, we ain't got problems.
妈 我们给你做了午餐
So, Mom, we made you lunch,
但外面天气这么好 我们去野餐吧
but it's so pretty outside. Let's have a little picnic.
我喜欢这个主意 阳光下的欢乐时光
Yeah, I love that idea. Fun in the sun.
-户外欢乐时光 -人生就是一次野餐
- Have some fun outdoors. - Life is a picnic.
-我在这就很开心 -那好
- I'm happy right here. - Okay.
怎么了
What?
我们只是担心沙拉酱放多了
Oh, we're just so nervous that we overdressed the salad.
我甚至不敢看你品尝
I can't even watch you taste it.
拜托
Oh, please.
亲爱的 真好吃 里面都有...
Honey, this is so good. What --
妈 我真不忍♥心开口问你
Mom, I-I hate to have to ask you this,
但如果母亲节旅行我不去你会介意吗
but would you mind if I missed out on our Mother's Day trip?
不 为什么
Oh, no, why?
比尔每月只休一个周末
Well, Bill only gets one weekend off a month,
他想带我去看大峡谷
and he wants to take me to the Grand Canyon.
-骑摩托去 -什么
- On a motorcycle. - What?!
菲尔 放松点
Phil, chill.
宝贝 我知道作为你妈我该说不行
Sweetie, as your mom, I know I should say no,
但我们面对现实吧
but let's face it,
那些书本又不能在晚上给你暖床
those books aren't keeping you warm at night.
去迎风驰骋 让虫子飞到嘴上吧
Let's get some bugs in those teeth, huh?
妈 你最棒了 太谢谢你了
Mom, you are the best. Thank you so much.
你人真好
That is so sweet.
你刚才穿的不是牛仔裤吗
Weren't you just wearing jeans?
不是
No, I was not,
另外 邓菲女士 别盯着人家下面看
and, Miss Dunphy, my eyes are up here.
什么声音
What is that sound?
-房♥子的响声 -我肚子叫
- The house is settling. - My stomach.
话说回来 我工作一切顺利 妈
Anyways, things are really good at work, Mom.
海莉想插队
Haley's trying to cut.
我终于意识到想拥有事业
I finally realized how much sacrifice
需要作出多少牺牲
it takes to have a career.
我老板想让我和她
You know, my boss, like, she wants me
一起出差
to go with her on this business trip.
但时间实在太不巧了
But it couldn't come at a worse weekend.
欢迎体验事业女性的纠结 姐妹
Welcome to the struggle, sister.
-窗口要关闭了 -窗口 什么窗口
- The window's gonna close. - Window? What-what window?
好消息 我们把车♥库♥的箱子挪走了
Great news. We moved the box in the garage.
-发生了特别疯狂的事 -说到疯狂的事
- The craziest thing happened -- - Talk about crazy things.
你知道大都会博物馆慈善舞会在纽约
You know how the Met Ball is in New York
而我和一头中型犬体重一样吗
and how I weigh the same as a medium-sized dog?
海莉 大人正在谈事情
Haley, the grownups are talking!
大伙 大伙 我脖子上的结节又出现了
Guys, guys, guys, the knots are coming back.
妈 我不和你一起旅行了
Mom, I'm bailing on our trip!
我让老爸陪我玩无人机 撞破了你的脸
I made Dad play and we flew our drone into your face!
一个叫奈杰尔·皮克尔斯的人
A man named Nigel Pickles
可能掌握了咱家银行账户
may have our bank account numbers!
-我先走了 -不许动
- I'm gonna go. - Stop!
坐下
Sit down!
很显然 你们都有坏消息要告诉我
Clearly, you all have bad news to tell me.
但你们非得在我心情好的时候一起说吗
But do you have to dump it on me when I'm in a good mood?
我的天 就是这样
Oh, my God, you did!
这就是你们说的窗口
That's what the window is!
我每个月就这一小时对你们有人情味
The one hour a month when I am a human to you people.
有时能多♥维♥持一会
Sometimes it's longer.
让我告诉你们
Let me tell you something.
你们这些娇生惯养的过得太轻松了
You debutantes have it easy.
要是在我长大时住的那个家
You wouldn't have survived one day
你们一天都活不下去
in the house where I grew up,
我家里有个真正的疯婆子作威作福
where an actual crazy person was running the show.
-克莱尔 -内疚绑♥架♥ 羞辱
- Um, Claire -- - The guilting, the shaming,
我数不清听过多少次
the number of times I heard
"我是哪里没教好你"
"Where did I go wrong with you?"
妈
Mom.
-妈 外婆来了 -是啊 对不起
- Mom, Nana's here. - Yeah. I'm sorry.
省省吧 我能感到你不欢迎我
Save it. I know where I'm not wanted.
不 我这不是用内疚绑♥架♥你
And no, I'm not trying to guilt you.
我浪费不起那个精力
I can't waste the energy on that,
因为我婚姻破裂
as I am basically homeless
现在基本上无家可归了
now that my marriage has unraveled.
-克莱尔 -不
- Claire -- - No!
不 我们就一言不发坐在这
No! We are going to sit here in silence
直到轮到我摔门而出
until it is my turn to storm out.
不准喝酒
No drinking!
你不准喝
For you.
如果老妈开始觉得怪物的叫声耳熟
If Mom starts to think the monster sounds familiar,
不如我们告诉她那是斯黛拉的叫声
I say we tell her it's Stella barking.
然后伤害斯黛拉的感情吗 用用脑子
And hurt Stella's feelings? Think! ?
迪迪 你怎么来了
Dede? What are you doing here?
我们的孩子们好可恶
Our children are horrible.
我很抱歉来得这么突然
I'm sorry to barge in.
歌♥洛莉亚在举办晚会
Oh. Gloria's holding a soiree.
我该走了
I should go.
不准你这么做
You will do no such thing.
你跟我来 小姑娘
You come with me, young lady.
她就是完美的秘密武器
She was the perfect secret weapon.
我们送她上楼去整理仪容
We send her upstairs to freshen up,
然后在电影开始前 我们放出迪迪
just before the movie starts, we drop the Dede bomb.
歌♥洛莉亚就会手足无措 心慌意乱
Gloria's flustered, off her game,
根本没有精力注意影片的内容
she doesn't even pay attention to the film.
你果然宝刀未老
You still got it.
现在想想 昨晚我还在瞎担心
And to think I was worried last night
你想打开手♥机♥的闪光灯手电筒功能
when you kept trying to turn on your phone flashlight
结果拍了30张自己的暴怒脸呢
and ended up taking 30 pictures of your angry face.
他们来啦 我帅气的导演们
There they are, my handsome movie makers.
你穿的什么呢
What are you wearing?
你穿的什么呢
What are you wearing?
你穿的什么鬼呢
What are you wearing?
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