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Modern Family S09E03

Part 3 Nov. 26, 2019, 11:01 a.m.

Of course, today.
不是吧你
Seriously?
这也是内♥裤♥预言的一部分吗
Is this part of the underwear prophecy?
你会不会戏太多了
Aren't you being a little dramatic?
菲尔
Phil?
这件事就有点难解释了
Little bit harder to connect the dots on that one.
但巧合时有发生嘛
But coincidences do happen.
老公没事的
Honey, it's fine.
哪天你接住内♥裤♥了我们再把事办完
We'll just finish our errands on a day when you catch your underwear.
演唱会票在你那儿吗
Oh, do you have the tickets?
在车里但我还是别开车了
They're in the car, but I don't think I should drive.
行吧但回家你来开
Fine, but you are driving home,
因为今天我要买♥♥醉
because today, I'm reelin' in the wine.
钥匙在你那儿抛给我吧
Oh, you've got the keys. Can you toss them to me?
好的给不
Yeah, here. No!
不那是我们的钥匙快停车
No! Those are our keys! Stop!
有人想去看斯迪利·丹乐队上帝冷笑
Man plans to go to Steely Dan. God laughs.
靠备份钥匙在海莉那里
Damn it. Haley has our other set of keys.
对克莱尔我真觉得被松鼠咬了
Yes, Claire, I do think it bit me a little!
歌♥洛莉亚抱歉
Gloria, I'm sorry.
你是我的妻子
You're my wife.
我爱你信任你
I love you, and I trust you.
跟反♥社♥会♥分子讲道理是行不通的
You can't reason with a sociopath.
你得通过示好来诱骗他们
You lure them with kindness.
让他们以为你们在同一阵线
You lull them into thinking you're on the same side,
然后用确凿的证据逮住他们
and then nail them with incontrovertible evidence,
而我已经掌握了证据
which I had.
我还发现我在她的通讯录里仍然叫
I also found out I'm still listed in her phone
"穿红色运动服的那个杰"
as "Jay, Red Tracksuit."
你说你没撞车我就相信你
If you say you weren't in an accident, I believe you.
谢谢老公
Thank you, baby.
不过还有一件事
There is just... one more thing.
那是我的手♥机♥吗
Is that my phone?
是的你手♥机♥里有很多有趣的照片
Yeah. You've got a lot of interesting pictures here,
但这张尤其有趣
but especially this one.
看起来像是你的车头
It looks like the front end of your car
撞上了这辆车的车尾
is rammed into the back end of this car.
我不是什么保险理算员
Now, I'm not an insurance adjuster,
但我觉得这可以算是证明
but I would say that that's pretty solid proof
你撞了车的铁证啊
you were in an accident.
那不是我的车
That's not my car.
那你为什么会拍别人车祸的照片呢
But why would you take a picture of some random accident?
用来提醒自己生命有多宝贵
To remind me of how precious life is.
那是你的车牌号♥
That's your license plate.
你知道车牌都是什么人做的吗杰
Do you even know who makes license plates, Jay?
囚犯
Prisoners!
你宁愿信一个重刑犯的话
Are you gonna take the word of a convicted felon
也不信你老婆吗
over your wife's?
-毫无道理 -正是
- Makes no sense. - ?Exactly.
你到底有什么毛病
What is your problem?!
你看不出这对我有多闹心吗
Don't you see what this is doing to me?!
我得知道你犯错时能承认错误
I need to know that you can admit when you made a mistake.
我知道你心中还有一点善歌♥洛莉亚
I know there's good in you, Gloria!
给
Here you go.
我... 真是对不起
I -- I am so sorry.
好好珍惜它
Cherish this.
这是有手♥机♥以来我首次那么久没碰手♥机♥
It was the longest I've been without a phone since phones.
一开始很难适应大拇指抽搐
It was hard at first -- the twitching thumbs,
总觉得有震动没被发到朋友圈的沙拉
the phantom vibrations, salads left un-Instagrammed.
但之后发生了很奇妙的事
But then the strangest thing happened.
你们有停下脚步闻过这些花吗
Have you ever stopped to smell these things?
我好多年都没在现实生活中大笑过了
It's been years since I LOL'd IRL.
网络语LOL = 滚地笑
IRL = 现实生活中
我还在车上找到一本旧书开始读了起来
I even found an old book in the truck and started reading it.
唯一的问题是总被人打断
The only problem was, people kept interrupting.
我不再需要手♥机♥了
I didn't need a phone anymore.
我只需要找到安静的地方
I just needed a quiet place to find out
来看他们是如何杀死那只知更鸟的
how they kill that mockingbird.
知名长篇小说《杀死一只知更鸟》
不好意思
Hey, excuse me.
不好意思
Excuse me!
抱歉打断你抛光佛朗西斯科[音似旧金山]
S-Sorry to bother you while you sand, Francisco, um --
真有意思
Oh, that's cute.
我想再看一下给橱柜选好的油漆颜色
I just want to revisit the paint color we chose for the cabinets.
旧色板你还有吗
Do you still have the old sample?
-也许吧我去看看 -好的
- Uh, maybe. I'll go look. - ?Okay.
你和老板商量过了吗
Did you discuss this with, uh -- with the boss?
-我不必问... -二爸大爸在哪儿
- I don't have to discuss it with -- - Daddy, where's Daddy?
你需要什么
Oh. Yeah, what do you need?
-我的行李箱 -为什么
- My suitcase. ?- Why?
我要和特里西娅一家去迪士尼
I'm going to Disneyland with Tricia's family.
宝贝女儿我已经帮你收拾好行李箱了
Sweetie, I already packed your suitcase.
他肯定给我打包了太多鞋
Ugh, there's gonna be too many shoes.
我们几时决定了莉莉可以去迪士尼玩
When did we decide that Lily could go to Disneyland?
我们不是说好要商量这事吗
I thought we were gonna talk about this.
她只会缺课一天而已
She's missing one day of school.
我五年级时缺了一半的课因为被猪咬了
I missed half of the fifth grade because of a pig bite,
而我的教育程度还是和其他人一样啊
and I'm just as educated as anyone else.
是吗我们刚认识时你以为你在中美洲长大
Really? When we met, you thought you grew up in Central America.
密苏里就是在美国[美洲]中部啊
Missouri is in the center of America.
好吧你还认为是穴居人把恐龙杀光了
Okay. You also thought that the cavemen killed the dinosaurs.
-你亲眼看过不是这样吗 -重点是
- Were you there? - Okay, t-the point is,
我们应该一起做这些决定
we should be making these decisions together.
你要的是这个颜色吗
Is this the one you wanted?
-是的 -为什么又拿那个来
- Yes. - ?What's that doing back in here?
我想重新看一下本来的油漆颜色
I just wanted to revisit the original paint color.
好的
Oh, okay.
-有主张 -很好
- Asserting. - ?Good.
有主张
Asserting.
好吧
Okay.
我能和你聊两句吗
Can I talk to you for a second?
你们两个为什么说悄悄话还笑了
Uh, what's up with the whispering and the laughing?
他刚刚讲了个笑话
He just made a joke.
笑话我吗
At my expense?
不是笑话他老婆厨艺不好
No, it was about his wife's cooking,
但肯定比他讲笑话的水准强
which can't be as stale as his material.
你这是怎么了
What's this about?
莉莉的事你就跟我先斩后奏现在我担心
You undermined me with Lily, and now I'm worried that
你又和佛朗西斯科搞起了这一套
you're doing the same thing with Francisco.
米奇尔我们是同一战线的
Mitchell, we are on the same team here. ?
我们都想要一间漂亮的厨房♥
We both want a beautiful kitchen,
-我们也都想尽快完工 -是的
- and we both want it done as soon as possible. - ?Yes.
活都停下
Stop working!
-别钻了别钻了 -我真想和你在一起
- Drills down! Drills down! - I want you so bad.
如果我伸出手就能摸到你该多好
If only I could reach out and touch you.
别再偷听了
Enough with the eavesdropping.
-够了 -没错你知道吗
- Come on. - ?Yeah. You know what?
如果这没救的家伙又要跟博复合
If that little train wreck's getting back together with Bo,
那我就要直接出手
I need to deal with this directly.
不你不许去
No, you have to stay here -- Ugh.
帕梅隆·杰西卡·塔克你给我听好
Pameron Jessica Tucker, listen to me.
从这一刻起
You need to stop those dirty
不许你再往监狱里给博打情♥色♥电♥话♥
jailbird phone calls right this second with Bo,
-否则我... -我的天啊
- or I am -- ?- Oh, my God!
你一直在偷听我的私人通话吗
You've been listening in on my private conversation?
你真该为自己感到羞耻
You should be ashamed of yourself.
打电♥话♥时像蟋蟀镇的姑娘那么恬不知耻
Talking like a girl from Cricketsville --
咱家不是这么教育你的
you were raised better than that.
你少管我的事
You stay the hell out of my business.
也少瞧不起蟋蟀镇
And stop looking down your nose at Cricketsville.
人家现在也有连锁百货了门外还有搬钱机
They got a Target now with a Banksy on the side of it.