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Modern Family S09E03

Part 4 Nov. 26, 2019, 11:01 a.m.

班克西Banksy与银行Bank谐音
才怪我才不信涂鸦大♥师♥班克西
Yeah, right. I'm sure Banksy
会亲自开车去蟋蟀镇到超♥市♥旁边去画...
drove to Cricketsville and painted on the s-
你指的是自动提款机
Oh, you mean the ATM.
不然我还能指什么
Well, what the hell else would I be talking about?
你好我叫卡梅隆·塔克
Hi, my name is Cameron Tucker,
我想与你们的一位犯人通话
and I would like to speak to one of your inmates.
他的名字是博·约翰逊
His name is Bo Johnson.
萨莉·梅·詹金斯
Sally Mae Jenkins?
我当然记得你其实呢...
Oh, of course I remember you! Oh, wait, but --
我一点也不惊讶你在监狱做接线员
I'm not surprised you're answering phones at a prison.
你的声音一直是中美洲第一好听的
You always had the prettiest voice in Central America.
你居然给博打电♥话♥吗
You called Bo,
你这个大山一样的白♥痴♥
you ginormous mountain of stupid?!
没错我打了
Yeah, that's right, I did.
我告诉他你在这和你的宝宝
And I told him you were getting your life together here
慢慢步上正轨不许他再来烦你
with your baby and he needed to back off.
他根本不知道我生了他的孩子
He didn't even know I had his baby.
-什么 -现在他知道我在哪了
- What? - ?Now he knows where I am.
他出狱后会来找我的
He's gonna come looking for me when he gets out!
你把一切都毁了你这个大马脸蠢材
You ruined everything, you giant, horse-faced dummy.
为什么损我的每一句话都要加"大"字
I'm not sure why every insult needs a size component.
我真的很抱歉
Look, I'm really sorry.
我不知道你不是在和博打电♥话♥
I had no idea that wasn't Bo on the phone.
那还有谁能让你用那么"亲密"的语气说话
Who else would you be so... intimate with?
任何愿意出三美元一分钟听我说荤话的人
Anybody who can pay three bucks a minute for nasty talk.
你是色情电♥话♥的接线员吗
Okay, you're a phone-sex operator?
我当素♥人♥模特根本不能糊口
My real-person modeling gigs haven't been paying the bills.
我需要一份能留在家陪孩子的工作
And I needed a job where I could stay at home with the baby.
我都不知道现在还有人打色情电♥话♥
I didn't even know that still existed.
现在不都有手♥机♥应用和网络了吗
Like, I thought it was all apps and the Internet now.
不是每个人
Not everyone leads
都过着你这种海滨小资生活小卡
your coastal-elite lifestyle, Cam.
这个国家里满是正直辛劳的美国人
There's a whole country full of decent, hardworking Americans
仍旧喜欢对着电♥话♥撸管
who still want to torque their doolies on the phone,
你个庞大的势利眼
you gargantuan snob!
你只骂"势利眼"不行吗
Just could've said "snob."
少自恋了我是在画树
Oh, get over yourself. I'm drawing the tree.
-杰 -我打电♥话♥你不接
- Jay? ?- I tried to call you.
你的手♥机♥呢
Where's your phone?
留房♥间里了
It's in my room.
我现在身在创作的空间里
I'm in a creative space right now.
她很可爱
She's cute.
我和你妈间有点事拎不清
I'm going through a little something with your mom.
我想听听你的看法
I need your take on it.
我等不及和你一起侵犯他人隐私了
Hm. I'm excited to see what boundaries we cross here.
她开车出了起小事故
She had a little fender bender.
我也提出了确凿的证据
I've got her dead to rights --
-但她就是不认错 -没错
- And she won't admit it. ?- Yes.
她从不承认错误
She never admits when she's wrong.
谢谢你我都开始觉得是我有问题了
Thank you. I was beginning to think I was the crazy one.
是啊她有这本事
Yeah, she'll do that to you.
就因为她不承认丢了我收藏的剧场节目单
I got IBS when she refused to admit that she threw out
我得了肠易激综合征
my collection of playbills.
我就当你说的是"流感"和《花♥花♥公♥子♥》吧
I'm gonna pretend you said "the flu" and Playboys and move on.
我想我蛮怀念你还在家时
I guess I... miss you being around
在她行为乖张时能陪我一起翻白眼
to share that eye roll when she gets kooky.
我一直以为你是冲我翻白眼
I always thought you were rolling your eyes at me.
也有那种时候
Well, that, too.
但能娶到她忍♥这些也值得吧
At least she's worth it, right?
绝对的
Definitely.
她后来承认扔节目单的事了吗
So, did she ever cop to the Playbills?
你猜怎么着
You know what?
最后真承认了但只因为她犯了更大的错
Yeah, eventually, but only because she did something worse.
其实这样挺好的
?It's actually a good thing.
只要她还不承认出了事故
As long as she's denying the accident,
你就知道她没犯其他更大的错
you know that's the worst thing she's done.
谢了孩子
Thanks, kiddo.
既然你来了我遇到了些问题
Hey, while you're here, I wouldn't mind picking your brain
想听听你的建议
about a little problem I'm having --
是我笔下的一个角色
Well, one of my characters.
他正站在人生的岔路口
He finds himself at a crossroads --
别破坏这美好的一刻了
Let's keep this special.
歌♥洛莉亚我一直在想
Gloria, I've been thinking.
关于那起小事故我不会再提了
That whole accident thing? I'm dropping it.
你说没那回事就没那回事
You say it didn't happen, it didn't happen.
有那回事
It happened.
什么你现在要承认吗
What, are you admitting it?
是的那起事故是我的错
Yes. The accident -- it was my fault.
求你原谅我亲爱的
Please forgive me, mi amor.
斯黛拉哪去了
Where's Stella?
-还有佛朗西斯科 -怎么老板
- And, Francisco... - Yeah, Boss?
我想我们该再考虑一下
...I guess we should take another look
米奇尔重新提起的这个橱柜颜色
at this cabinet color Mitchell revived from the dead.
为公平起见我们在厨房♥的光线下看看
To be fair, let's look at it in the kitchen light.
想象一下我在娱乐宾客
So, imagine I'm entertaining.
我在烹饪在客人面前妙语连珠
I'm cooking. I'm throwing out delightful quips to my guests.
老实说会不会显得我没精神
Be honest -- does it wash me out?
的确会显得我没精神
It washes me out.
我辛辛苦苦爬上爬下
These are the kind of conversations
就为了聊这种鬼话吗
I snuck under the fence for?
这个好笑吗是我的段子啦
Hm? ?Is that funny? Oh. ?It's in my act.
我... 我还有另一个段子
It's... I also do this bit, though,
是说我去木场然后遇到个辣妹...
where I go to a lumberyard and I meet this hot girl and --
好啦我得先请你打住
Okay. I'm gonna stop you right there.
如果最终笑点是跟"硬起来"的木头有关
If the punch line has anything to do with wood,
我觉得你没差到需要用三俗哏
you're better than that.
没错我宁愿被葬入墙中
Yes, I chose to be entombed in a wall
也不愿意跟小卡承认我偷听他
rather than admit to Cam that I was eavesdropping.
是的我也意识到婚姻咨♥询♥
And, yes, I realize couple's counseling
或许可以再考虑一下
should be back on the table.
米奇尔想要的这颜色...
This color Mitchell wants...
感觉你不喜欢
You don't seem to like it.
的确是不太喜欢但他喜欢那就这个吧
I don't love it. But he does, and let's just go with it,
因为... 我想要他开心
'cause it -- I want to make him happy.
我老婆估计问都不会问我
Wow. My wife wouldn't even ask me.
你人真好跟你在一起他很幸运
You're very nice. He's lucky to have you.
相信我我才是幸运的那个人
I'm the lucky one, trust me.
我俩每一天都是从这个厨房♥开始我...
You know, we start every morning off in this kitchen, and I --
我想要我俩步入这里时
I want us both to walk in here
都能看到自己所爱的东西
and see something we each love.
有啊我有看到我所爱的
I do! I-I do see something I love!
那就是你啊
It's you.
米奇尔
Mitchell! ?Oh.
什么鬼...
What in the he--
你刚才在偷听我
You were eavesdropping.
我错了但我还是坚持我那句话
I'm sorry. I-I stand by what I said.
偷听是不对的
Eavesdropping is wrong.
我我应该自己问佛朗西斯科
I-I should have just asked, uh, Francisco myself.
为什么你叫他"老板"却叫我"米奇"
W-Why is it you call him "boss" and me "Mitch"?
没事你直说吧我能承受
It's okay. You can tell me. I-I can take it.
因为我记不得他的名字
Well, uh, I can't remember his name.
-什么 -是吗
- What? ?- Really?
我一直想叫"小康"
You know, I keep wanting to say "Krang,"
但我知道他名字不是这样
but I know that's not right.
还是其实就是这个
Unless it is?
-是小卡 -是小卡
- It's Cam. ?- It's Cam.
我们天天见面了这么多天啊佛朗西斯科
Okay. We have spent every day together, Francisco.
我有点生气啊
I'm a little offended.
那这话听完你可能会消点气
Oh. Well, if it makes you feel any better,
我的名字其实是佛南多