摩登家庭
Modern Family S09E15
Part 1
Nov. 26, 2019, 11:02 a.m.
-爸爸 -你怎么起来了
- Daddy. - What are you doing up?
我睡不着
I can't sleep.
等等 你在我睡觉时吃东西吗
Wait. You eat while I'm in bed?
你们都背着我加餐吗
Is there a meal I don't know about?
加一两餐吧
A couple.
但你该就寝了 小家伙
But you need to hit the hay, buddy.
我要你鼾声如雷到辰时
I need you sawin' logs until 0700.
整段话我都不知道是什么意思
I don't know what any of that means.
最近 我和歌♥洛莉亚之间的"热情"有点冷却
Gloria and I are going through a romantic dry spell.
幸好 她今晚跟她朋友丽贝卡出去
Luckily, she's out tonight with her friend, Rebecca,
那女的嫁了个渣男
who is married to a jackass.
歌♥洛莉亚每次跟她见完面 都看我很顺眼
Gloria always comes home ready to show her appreciation.
忽然之间 我穿着袜子上♥床♥睡觉
Suddenly, me going to bed with socks on
也没那么十恶不赦了
is not such a deal-breaker.
我靠
Aw, geez.
我回来了 杰
I'm home! Hey, Jay.
丽贝卡怎么样了
How's Rebecca?
她现在登上人生巅峰
She's never been better.
她一个月前离开了她老公
So, she left her husband like a month ago,
简直就像从肩膀上卸下了一个重担
and it's like a weight has been lifted off her shoulders.
说到肩膀
Speaking of shoulders,
你准备好享受我拿手的"按♥摩♥"了吗
are you ready for one of my famous massages?
不用了
No, I'm good.
是她打来
It's her.
喂
Hello?
那个服务生吗
The waiter?
我就知道他是在撩你
I knew he was flirting with you!
别忘了她嫁的那个草包
Don't forget about that clod she married!
你算是觅得良缘了
You got one of the good guys!
而且他不用写下来都能记住我们点的菜
And he didn't have to write down our order,
他以后肯定也不会忘了你的生日
so you know that he won't forget your birthday.
乔把所有玩具都丢在地上了
Joe leaves all his toys on the floor.
我叫他捡起来 但他都不听话
I tell him to pick them up, but he doesn't listen.
我跟你说 卧室里就是一场灾难
I'm telling you, it's a disaster in the bedroom.
我不知道如何是好
I don't know what to do.
就像是他不记得"东西"该往哪儿塞
It's like he can't remember where things go.
最终 我沮丧失望
Eventually, I get so frustrated
只好自己"搞定"了
that I take care of it myself.
打屁♥股♥
Spanking?
行吧 或许可以试试这招
Well, yeah, I guess we could try that.
其实你说起这事
Actually, now that you mention it,
哈维尔和我很久以前也试过
Javier and I tried it a long time ago.
确实改变局面了
It was a game-changer.
丽贝卡现在过得很好
Ay. Rebecca is doing so well.
听起来她在纵享人生
Sounds like she's having fun.
海军过去强迫我们看关于她那种女人的电影
Navy used to make us watch films about girls like that.
她老公从来都没真正满足过她的需求
Well, her husband never really gave her what she needed.
她有告诉他吗
Did she tell him?
没有 但有时跟一个不用你说
No. But sometimes it's more exciting to be with someone
就知道你想要什么的人在一起 比较刺♥激♥
that already knows what you want without you telling them.
懂了
Got it.
喂
Ay! Hey!
搞什么啊
Wh-What the hell was that?!
没什么 你知道吗
Nothing! You know what?
我好像忘记锁大门了
I think I forgot to lock the front door.
-他回来啦 -别生气
- There he is. - Oh, now, don't get mad.
我知道我之前说只会为派对买♥♥郁金香
I know I said I was only getting tulips for the party,
但我豪气了一把 买♥♥了兰花
but I splurged and I got orchids.
-我也希望这个派对与众不同啊 -好吧
- I -- I wanted the party to be special, too. ?- Okay.
我解释一下 我之前不知道你会买♥♥兰花
And in my defense, I didn't know about the orchids.
我买♥♥了台钢琴
I got a piano.
真的吗 在哪里
Really, where?
我最近得到了一份很体面的工作
I recently got a pretty fancy job
给亿万富翁迈克尔·奎因利打工
working for billionaire Michael Quinly.
-有点厉害 -就是很厉害
- It's kind of a big deal. - It is a big deal.
我承认 举办派对
Now, admittedly, throwing a party
庆祝自己走好运了 可能有点炫耀的意味
to celebrate your own reversal of fortune could be seen as braggy.
有点算是灰姑娘卖♥♥瓜了
Sort of a rags-to-bitches story, if you will.
但话说回头 之前好一阵
Then again, for a while now,
每当我告诉朋友我为工作烦恼时
when I've been telling my friends that I was struggling,
他们都会露出"那个眼神"
they'd give me "That look" --
大部分是同情
the one that's mostly sympathetic
但又掺杂了一丝看好戏的感觉
with just a touch of enjoying my pain.
所以今天 我会得到另一种眼神
So, today, I get the other look --
大部分是"我真为你高兴"
the one that's mostly "I'm so happy for you"
但又掺杂了一丝"妒忌使我丑陋"的感觉
with just a hint of "I am wracked with jealousy."
见到以前那群朋友会很开心的
It'll be good to see the old gang again.
-是啊 没错 -嗯
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah. - Yeah.
你好呀
Hey, you.
你在干嘛 跟男生发短♥信♥吗
What's going on? You, uh -- you texting a boy?
只是在考虑我夏天的计划
Just figuring out my summer plans.
我还记得我大一那年的夏天
I remember the summer of my junior year.
我跟着NWA乐队的巡演
I followed N.W.A. on tour --
NWA就是"弹手风琴的内村人"
Nebraskans With Accordions.
正常会认为是知名黑人嘻哈乐团Niggaz Wit Attitudes(N.W.A)
当然了 这是团员惨遭谋杀之前的事了
This was before Polka Pete was brutally murdered, of course.
我的有点不同
Yeah, this is a little different.
事实上我想去麻省理工实习
I'm actually up for an internship
研究最小超对称标准模型
researching the minimal supersymmetric standard model at M.I.T.
酷哦 去波士顿
Cool. Beantown.
我不知道我为什么像小女生一样紧张期待
I don't know why I'm getting all girly and excited about it.
反正我也不可能得到这个机会
It's not like I'm gonna get it anyways.
怎么说丧气话呢 如果你想听我的建议...
What's with the quitter talk? If you want my advice --
并不想 不过谢了
No, I don't, but thanks.
怎么一堆垃圾食品
What is all this junk?
水果卷 薯片 巧克力牛奶
Fruit Roll-ups, chips, chocolate milk? Ugh.
冰箱里啥吃的都没有
Th-There's nothing in the fridge.
我给你准备一盒午餐带走
I'm packing you a lunch.
我总是听说人生到了某个阶段
I've always heard there comes a time in life
就会变成由孩子反过来照顾父母
when the kid starts parenting the parents.
我本来以为那是我40岁之后才会发生的事
I thought it would be when I was in my 40s.
但我有超越年龄的成熟
But I'm pretty mature for my age,
而我爸拿到薯格都会开心地拍手
and my dad claps when he gets waffle fries.
你为什么还在家里
What are you even still doing home?
平时这会儿你不是已经去魔术店了吗
Don't you usually open your magic shop by now?
对 我只是晚去一点
Yeah. I'm just going in a little late.
听起来对生意可不好
Doesn't sound good for business.
而且我看到你偷偷把胡萝卜从午餐里取出来了
And I saw you sneak those carrots out of your lunch.
我是想避开另一位店主
I'm trying to avoid one of the other shop owners.
那家伙有点吓人
Kind of an intimidating character.
一切始于一个停车位引发的争执
It started with a dispute over a parking space
之后矛盾就升级了
and escalated from there.
我们家的人从来不躲避恶霸
Hey...we don't avoid bullies in this family.
我们勇敢面对他们
We stand up to them.
去吧
Off you go.
我想你没意识到我面对的是什么狠角色
I don't think you realize what kind of person I'm up against.
昨天 他把我全部恶作剧漏洞杯
Yesterday, all my dribble glasses
全换成了真杯子
were replaced with real ones.
丢死人了
It was humiliating.
朗吉 我们得好好聊聊最近的事
So, Long', we have a lot to catch up on.
-最近怎么样[什么升了] -我的体重没升
- What's up? - Not my weight.
汤姆·布拉迪节食法改变了我看待世界的方式
The Tom Brady diet changed the way I see the world.
食物 非食物 超级食物 毒药
Food, not food, super-food, poison.
你的新鲜事就聊完了
Oh, well, okay, that covers you.
我想问你近况
I was going to ask about you,
但你知道 我总是为你的答案紧张
but, you know, I'm always nervous about the answer.
我们来碰碰运气吧
Well, you know what? Let's roll the dice.
-原来我... -米奇
- So, it turns out that I -- - Hey, Mitch.
小卡在哪
Where's Cam?
克莱尔 真是惊喜
Claire, what a surprise.
你说什么呢
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