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Modern Family S09E11

Part 1 Nov. 26, 2019, 11:02 a.m.

乔拿着这根球杆把那颗球打出去
Okay, Joey, you take this club, and you hit that ball.
有问题吗
Any questions?
为什么这上面写着"曼尼"
Why does this say "Manny"?
别在意他只用过一次
Don't worry about it. They were only used once.
算是我与他的一次"挥杆落空"经历
It was a swing and a miss for both of us.
我得想个新方式和乔共度美好时光
I needed to find a way to spend more quality time with Joe.
周六捉迷藏我实在玩不下去了
I couldn't take another Saturday of hide-and-seek.
玩到现在我藏在"柜子"里的时间
At this point, I've spent more time
已经比米奇尔还久了
in the closet than Mitchell.
高尔夫是非常复杂的运动
Golf is a very complicated sport.
你打不到也别泄...
I don't want you to get frustrated if you don't --
天啊
Holy cow!
你觉得你能再来一次吗
Do you think you can do that again?
能很简单
Yeah. It's easy.
行了自大狂先生
Okay, Mr. Cocky.
这世上有种情况叫新手的好...
You know, there is a thing called beginner's --
什么鬼
What the hell?
布雷迪
Hey, Brady.
杰你好吗这是你孙子吗
Hey, Jay, what's up? Oh, is this your grandson?
这话我听够了这是我儿子
I can't do this again. This is my son.
看看他挥杆告诉我你怎么想
Just take a look at his swing and tell me what you think.
你妈妈肯定是名优秀运动员
Your mom must be some athlete.
提醒你一下我这人特别不喜欢
Just so you know, I'm not a guy who's charmed
服务员跟我自来熟
when the help gets familiar.
大家今早都过得好吗
How's everybody this fine morning?
我的新年决意已经坚持了三天
Welp, I'm on my third day of my New Year's Resolution
我不说别人不在乎的话
to not say things nobody cares about.
失误了
Damn it.
业主协会的回复
Oh, yay, Homeowners Association.
我需要他们批准我在后院盖女人窝
I need their approval to put a She Shed in the backyard
就是过去放跷跷板那块地
where the teeter-totter used to be.
我没听懂
I don't understand.
她说女人窝"做"在跷跷板上
She said, "She Shed down by the seesaw."
您的才华怎么会埋没至今
How are you not famous?
是啊真有才但女人窝是什么
Yes, bravo, but what's a She Shed?
就是个简单的小棚子
Well, it's just a simple little structure
让我可以自己静静
where I can go to be alone
做做瑜伽或冥想不受旁人打扰
and do yoga or meditate and nobody can bother me.
这么说在浴缸里喝红酒抽雪茄
Oh, so a glass of wine and a cigarette in the tub
已经不管用了
isn't cutting it anymore?
我不抽烟宝贝那是烟草味的香烛
I don't smoke, honey. I have a tobacco-scented candle.
哪有烟草味的...
They don't make tobacco-scented --
你说的这些就是没人在乎的话
This is more of that stuff no one cares about.
恭喜你亲爱的
Congratulations, honey.
别假装替我高兴了
Don't pretend you're happy for me.
卢克和我想用那块地盖击球场
Luke and I wanted to use that space to put in a batting cage.
克莱尔想要她的女人窝
Claire wanted her She Shed.
我们陷入了僵局
We were in a stalemate,
于是我们像成年人一样解决矛盾
so we settled the dispute like adults.
加油老爸想想击球场
Come on, Dad. Batting cage.
我真的很需要眨眼伙计
I really need to blink, buddy.
你去世以后可以眨个够
You can blink when you're dead.
太棒了
Ah, yes! Yes!
当年那些三维立体画海报没白看
All those Magic Eye posters paid off.
我要给自己买♥♥块毛绒绒的小地毯
I'm gonna get myself one of those fuzzy little rugs.
-他们没批准 -什么
- They turned me down. - ?What?
他们到底为什么...
Why on Earth would they do th-
我要想办法联♥系♥上
I-I'm gonna find out how to get in touch with somebody
那个业主协会里的某个人
from down at that Homeowners Association
弄清楚到底怎么回事
and find out what the hell is going on.
克莱尔我知道你很生气
Claire, I know you're upset,
但我不认为你该那么做
but I don't think you should do that.
瞧瞧啊
Well, look at that.
他们今天下午正好要开会
They have a meeting this afternoon.
我亲自去一趟
I'll just go down there in person.
亲爱的我有好多客户是业主协会推荐的
Honey, I get a lot of my referrals from the HOA.
和他们疏远了得不偿失
We can't afford to alienate them.
是他们要疏远别人
They are the ones who are alienating people.
他们都住在那个死胡同里
They all live on that stupid cul-de-sac.
只为自己人行方便
They only do things for each other.
如果他们不是都丑得要命没准会搞大群♥交♥
Probably swing if they weren't so aggressively unattractive.
我觉得"女人窝"这个叫法很冒犯人
You know, I find the term "She Shed" offensive.
为什么不管女人的窝叫窝
Shouldn't ours just be called a shed
而男人的叫"男人窝"
and theirs a "He Shed"?
你的新年决意是白决的吗
Why do you bother making resolutions?
真让人泄气
This is so frustrating.
如果这话能安慰到你
If it's any comfort...
你不是唯一因为他们不如意的人
...you're not the only one to be stung by these people.
他们离谱的停车规定让我放弃了
Their ridiculous parking regulation made me give up my dream
买♥♥车顶有大热狗的车的梦想
of owning the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile.
好吧我放手
Fine. I will move on.
这意味着我们能搭击球场了吗
So does this mean we can get our batting cage?
卢克让人家缓缓
Luke, too soon.
没错快走
Yes. Go.
我真为你骄傲老妈
I'm really proud of you, Mom.
放手体现了你的成熟
Letting go shows real growth.
我要去业主协会的会议
I'm going to that Homeowners Association meeting,
我的女人窝肯定要盖
and I'm getting my She Shed.
但你刚刚告诉老爸...
But you just told Dad --
我默允他表演魔术
I let him do magic.
他默允我打破承诺
He lets me break promises.
我们都知道彼此是什么样的人
We both know what we married.
你们又去球场了
You were at the course again?
这周每天上午都去
That's every morning this week.
冠军就是这么练出来的
That's how you make a champion.
你该看看乔的本事
You should see Joe play.
就像看名主持梅夫·格里芬采访一样
It's like watching Merv Griffin interview.
独有一套技巧
There's a certain finesse to it.
-你在训练什么项目 -啥也没练
- What are you training for? - Nothing.
没错那就去吃布丁
Yeah, then go have a pudding cup.
这些高能蛋白质棒是精英运动员吃的
These high-performance protein bars are for elite athletes.
吃吧乔补充能量
Go ahead, Joey. Fuel up.
你今天有座奖杯要赢
You have a trophy to bring back today.
你这话是什么意思
What are you talking about?
俱乐部办了场儿童锦标赛
There's a kiddie tournament up at the club,
我帮乔报名了
and I signed Joe up for it.
杰你把他逼得太紧了
Jay, you're pushing him too hard.
你胡说什么孩子可喜欢了
What are you talking about? Kid loves it.
等他冰敷好肩膀亲口告诉你
He'll tell you himself after he ices his shoulder.
就是这个感觉
Ooh, that's the stuff.
歌♥洛莉亚如果训练得当
You know, Gloria, with the right training,
这孩子能一路走到顶峰
this kid could go all the way.
当他的高尔夫生涯经理就是我的第二春
Me managing his golf career can be my second act.
你都七十了你的第四春都该过劲了
You're 70. Your second act was two acts ago.
别利用他再次感受青春他压力太大
Stop living through him. It's too much pressure.
你为什么这么小题大做
Why are you making such a big deal about it?
不过是个儿童高尔夫锦标赛
It's a-It's a kiddie golf tournament.
就像个我不抗拒参加的儿童玩耍聚会
It's like a-a playdate I don't hate being at.
这是个馊主意
It's a bad idea.
如果乔想做竞争性不这么强的事呢
What if Joe wants to do something that is less competitive,
例如阅读或纸模
like reading or papier-mache?
我们先别把曼尼那套剧本都拿出来
Let's not break out the Manny playbook just yet.
叫戏单更有范我帮什么嘴
Playbill would've been more cutting. Why am I helping you?
我知道关于什么对乔最好
I know you think you have the monopoly
你认为你有垄断权
on deciding what's best for Joe,
但我也有父母的天性
but I have parenting instincts, too.
过去米奇和克莱尔的事我都让迪迪说了算
I deferred to Dede every single time on Mitch and Claire,
这次我要按我的直觉办
and this time I'm going with my gut.
米奇和克莱尔现在不是很好吗
Mitch and Claire turned out to be wonderful people.
是的是的我不是说他们不好
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm not knocking them.